Chapter Nineteen
Omen
T ODAY I’M GETTING Oaklynn out of her cottage. She hasn’t been out of the house other than to go to the doctor for Amanda since the day she had her. Oaklynn needs to get out and interact with others because she’s getting in a funk. I’ve caught her in the shower crying a few times over the last few days. When I ask her what’s wrong, she tells me she’s exhausted and doesn’t know how to get on some kind of schedule with Amanda like everyone is telling her. Our little princess eats like every hour and it’s hard for Oaklynn to do anything other than nurse. I know she’s frustrated and exhausted because she’s afraid if she takes a nap when Amanda does that she won’t hear her for some reason and something will happen. I’ve tried to get her to sleep when I’m here, but she always ends up doing other things she hasn’t been able to do since giving birth. The other day I found her cleaning the bathroom and then she started doing laundry instead of sleeping. Plus, I think she just needs a change of scenery instead of looking at the same walls every single day.
“Baby Girl, we’re goin’ out. Gonna head to the clubhouse for dinner with everyone today. I need to talk to my dad about somethin’ too,” I tell Oaklynn when she walks back in the living room fresh from a shower and wearing a pair of leggings and one of my tee-shirts. She looks sexy as fuck but I know she won’t believe me if I tell her.
“Oh. I don’t have to go there with you. Amanda and I can stay here,” she says, hesitation slowing her steps as I lift Amanda in my arms from the bassinet.
“I want you with me, Baby Girl. You need to get out of the cottage and there’s no better place to be than the clubhouse,” I tell her, not taking no for an answer because this needs to happen.
“I have . . .,” she starts before I step forward and kiss her.
Oaklynn wraps her arms around my neck and deepens the kiss while Amanda rests between the two of us against my chest. I kiss her for a minute before pulling back and looking into her eyes. Oaklynn’s paler than normal and has dark bags under her eyes. I know she’s not getting any sleep, but this is crazy that she’s now looking as if she hasn’t slept in months instead of a few weeks.
“We’re goin’, Oaklynn. Everyone wants to see you and I know Melissa will be there. You’ve been in this cottage since you got out of the hospital. No one at the clubhouse is sick and this is somethin’ you need,” I tell her, my voice full of determination because I’m not letting her get out of going with me.
“Okay. Let me pack Amanda’s diaper bag. I don’t even know what the hell to put in there besides diapers and wipes. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go,” she finally says, her voice full of resignation because she knows I’m just as stubborn as she is when it comes to something I want.
I watch as she disappears back down the hallway toward the nursery. With Amanda in my arms, I pull out my phone and send a message to my mom that we’ll be at the clubhouse for dinner tonight. This was impromptu and not something I was planning until I got here and saw how horrible she’s looking today. I want Oaklynn back the way she was before she had our daughter. She was full of life and always looked amazing. Now she’s so exhausted and I don’t know how to help her because she feels as if she’s messing everything up and that her house is dirty as hell. It’s not, but she doesn’t listen when I tell her that.
There’s a sweater for Amanda laying over the end of her bassinet and I grab it and put it on her before grabbing one of her blankets to wrap her up in. Then I think better of it because she has to go in her car seat. Once I have her sweater on, I put her in the seat and fasten her in before wrapping the blanket around her. By the time I’m done, Oaklynn is walking back in with the diaper bag in one hand and a smaller bag in the other one. After setting down the bag, she makes her way to the kitchen with the smaller one. I watch her take some of the bags of breastmilk out and put them inside before grabbing an ice pack from the freezer. Once that’s taken care of, she walks back over and I grab the car seat with our daughter strapped in it so we can leave the house.
On the way out, Oaklynn grabs her purse and makes sure she has her phone.
“I’ll follow you to the clubhouse. I wasn’t plannin’ this until I got here so I’ve got my bike. Next time I’ll bring my truck so we can ride together,” I tell her as we make our way over to her car and I put Amanda in the back while she climbs in the driver’s seat.
“Do we need to stop and get anything on the way there?” she asks just before I close the door so I can head to my bike.
“No. Mom’s got everythin’ taken care of. I think she was cookin’ extra to bring over here to see you and Amanda. This saves her a trip and we can eat with them. You know Dad’s gonna wanna see his grandbaby too. He’s been bitchin’ he can’t make it over here until later in the day and doesn’t get to spend as much time with her as Mom does,” I tell her, laughing at the thought of my dad pouting because he doesn’t get to see Amanda as much as he wants to.
Making sure my girls are set and ready to go in Oaklynn’s car, I make my way to my bike and throw my leg over it. Putting on my helmet, I start the engine but skip revving it because I don’t want to scare the baby. Seeing Oaklynn put the car in reverse, I back out of the driveway and wait for her to follow me. Letting her drive off in front, I follow her as we head out of her neighborhood and make our way to the clubhouse. Thankfully it’s not too far away as Oaklynn drives slowly down the street. She’s nervous about driving with Amanda in the car and I can’t blame her at all. I’d be the same way because there are too many drivers on the road who don’t pay attention and accidents happen way too often.
It doesn’t take us long to get to the clubhouse despite the slow speed. Oaklynn parks in one of the spots while I head to the row of bikes already parked against the building. Taking my spot, I shut the engine off and head for Oaklynn’s car. She’s just getting out of her seat when I get to her. Bypassing her, I get Amanda out and hand Oaklynn the diaper bag. She carries it as we make our way inside.
The common room is full of guys and some of the Slayer Slits as they strut around the room trying to find a guy for the night. A few of them turn toward me, but quickly look away when they see me carrying the car seat with Oaklynn at my side. They’ve all realized I’m not about to let them fuck with me or Oaklynn the way some of the others have done in the past. Maybe the shit that went down with Meisha and Darian ensured they back the fuck off and think with their head instead of only about getting laid by an officer of the club.
My dad is sitting at a table in the back with Carbon and Homicide. Oaklynn’s steps falter and I look over while placing my hand on her arm to make sure she doesn’t fall. Her eyes are fluttering and I know she needs to get some sleep. While I want her to be here to see everyone, that’s not what she needs right now. However, being here might mean she doesn’t clean or do anything else so she’ll actually take a nap.
I set the car seat down on the table knowing none of the guys will let her fall. My dad instantly turns it toward him and starts to unfasten the seatbelt to pull her out. Oaklynn and I just smile at him as he holds our daughter to his chest and stares down at her while Homicide covers her with the blanket even though it’s not cold in here.
“Baby Girl, why don’t you go up to my room and take a nap? You’re exhausted and there’s no reason you can’t sleep right now. You’ve got breastmilk in the bag and I can make her bottle when she’s ready to eat again. Mom will help me if I need it. We’ve got Amanda so you can take care of yourself,” I tell her, my voice low so not too many people hear me.
“I’ll be okay,” she tries telling me as my dad looks up at her.
“Oaklynn, I can see how exhausted you are. Takin’ care of a newborn is hard as fuck and you’re doin’ a lot of it on your own. We’re all tryin’ to help when we can, but it’s not easy. This is the time for you to rely on us and let us take care of her while you rest like you need to,” my dad tells her, his voice softer than if he were talking to one of us guys.
My dad has always had a soft spot for the women here in the clubhouse. Oaklynn has a special place in his heart because she gave him Amanda, his first grandchild. Yes, he’s helped with all the kids in the clubhouse, but it’s different when you know it’s your own flesh and blood. If it were anyone else, he wouldn’t be going to her house when he can. No, I know my dad cares about Oaklynn because he wouldn’t be riding my ass so hard about making shit right with her as he has been.
“Okay. I am pretty tired,” she finally admits, setting the diaper bag down in a chair before taking the keys I’m now holding out for her and heading up to my room. I take a seat and look at my daughter as she sleeps in my dad’s arms.
“She doin’ okay?” Homicide asks me when Oaklynn disappears up the stairs.
“Not really. Every time I go over there and try to get her to take a nap, I find her cleanin’ or doin’ somethin’ else because she feels as if the cottage is dirty and she’s failin’ to get everythin’ done just because she’s always feedin’ Amanda. Wanted to bring her here today because she hasn’t left the place other than when we had to take Amanda to the doctor for her check-up. Now, I know she needs to sleep because she looks horrible. I mean, I’ll always find her sexy as fuck, but she’s so damn exhausted and this is the only way I might be able to get her to take a nap,” I answer my best friend as my mom and Melissa walk out of the kitchen and head for our table.
Melissa looks around the common room for Oaklynn but quickly turns her attention to me when she doesn’t find her.
“Where is she?” Melissa questions me as my mom looks at Amanda in my dad’s arms.
“Just got her to go up to my room to take a nap. She’s fuckin’ exhausted,” I answer her as she nods her head in understanding. “It’s too loud in here for her to lay on one of the couches. Actually, Dad is the one who finally got her to agree to go up and lay down.”
“Good. She’s trying so hard to do everything on her own and she doesn’t understand she just needs to call one of us and we’ll be there to help her,” my mom adds in before pulling over a chair and sitting close to my dad and Amanda.
“She’s independent and doesn’t like to take help from others,” Melissa says even though none of us at the table need her to because we know it’s the truth.
“Did you two have that talk yet?” my dad asks me, finally looking up from Amanda and directing his attention toward me.
“Yeah, we did. She’s givin’ me a chance but we’re takin’ things slow. Sex isn’t even on the table right now because she has to be cleared from the doctor still. Got a few more weeks before her appointment. We’re spendin’ time together and she finally let me sleep in bed with her a few nights ago. I’m tryin’ not to push her, but I want my girls moved into my house. It’s here on the compound so I would worry less about them when I’m not home. Plus, you and Mom would be closer to them if I have to go on a run,” I answer, my voice low so our conversation stays at our table without everyone else in here overhearing us.
“It will happen in time, Kellan. For now just show her you’re gonna be there for them and that you weren’t just talkin’ shit because of Amanda and the fact that you wanna be in her life. As long as you’re honest with Oaklynn, things will move forward when they’re supposed to,” my dad says, looking at Amanda again. “How’s the bike build goin’?”
“It’s done. We just broke it down this mornin’ and it’s waitin’ to be picked up for the guy who’s gonna chrome it. Grudge will handle the paint job tomorrow and then we can put it all back together and make sure it works right before the unveilin’ to the fire department at their charity event,” I answer him as Josh brings over drinks to the table.
I bypass the beer and take a bottle of water. With Amanda here with me, I’m not about to drink while Oaklynn sleeps. My dad also grabs water while Homicide and Carbon each take a beer. We talk about everything while keeping club business out of our conversation. I’m supposed to be going on the next run and I don’t want to. However, I’m not about to push my duties aside because of Amanda and Oaklynn. I wouldn’t be setting a good example if I were to do that. If I remember right, this one isn’t more than a day’s trip there and back again. I won’t miss that much time with my girls and since my dad will be home, he can watch over them.
***
W hen it’s time for dinner, I make my way up to my room and find Oaklynn passed out in the middle of my bed. I got a brand-new one just before Amanda was born and she’s the first woman who’s been in it. Stepping up next to the bed, I look down and see Oaklynn’s head poking out of the blankets. I can’t see her face because she has it buried and I really hate to wake her up. However, since she’s breastfeeding, Oaklynn really needs to eat multiple times a day while drinking plenty of fluids to replenish everything she loses from feeding our baby girl.
“Oaklynn. Baby Girl,” I call out, gently shaking her shoulder as she finally starts to stir. “Dinner’s ready, Baby Girl. Need you to get up so you can eat.”
“Don’t wanna,” she grumbles in response as I laugh at her response.
“I know, Baby Girl. Can’t have you skippin’ meals though. I know you already tend to do that if you’re takin’ care of Amanda. There’s no reason for you to do that shit today though. If you want, you can go back to sleep after dinner,” I promise her, carefully pulling the blankets from her body.
“Fine,” she grumbles again before opening her eyes and glaring at me.
Oaklynn gets up and uses my bathroom before we head back downstairs. There’s already a plate of food sitting at the table for Oaklynn as she makes her way over there. My dad is feeding Amanda while murmuring to her about some nonsense. Homicide and Melissa have moved to the table next to us and are eating with the twins while Carbon has moved to a different table with Brick and Kimber.
After getting Oaklynn settled at the table, I head to grab my own plate from the kitchen, piling it high with food the girls cooked today. Making my way back into the room, I take in everyone here tonight. Oaklynn is laughing at something my dad is telling her and it hits me that this is how my life is supposed to be. I’m supposed to be here with Amanda and Oaklynn in my life and I can handle work, the club, and my girls without pulling the same shit my dad did when I was younger. For the first time in my life, I realize how different the club is now from years ago when I was little and didn’t know much about anything. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this our reality even if it means bringing Oaklynn here every day so she can see how good our life will be together.