Chapter 7
7
PENNY
“Remind me why you’re so adamant to do this,” Collins says, pacing the bedroom.
“Because Angie and Claire are begging me to come hang out.”
“Didn’t you just see them yesterday at work?”
“It’s not the same thing. I think Graham and Nic are driving them both crazy, and they could use me as a buffer. And it’s not like we have plans today anyway.”
“Maybe they are using me as a buffer.”
I let out a one-syllable laugh. “Doubtful. You are way too biased toward my brothers. You will always pick them.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize yet again the weight of the decision on his shoulders to go against all his instincts and code of honor to enter into a contract with me.
Because he didn’t pick my brothers.
He picked me .
While he’s said it before in the moment, I very well could be the worst mistake of his life. And it’s the weight of that guilt that I find the most debilitating.
Dammit.
Why does he have to work for my brothers? Life can be so unfair.
While the girls don’t act like I owe them, deep down I feel like I do. They’ve given me so much already by trusting in me that hanging out when I clearly have no other plans is the least I can do.
“And you’re going to behave once we get out of here?”
I sigh. “Yes. I always behave.”
Collins’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he glares at me. “There’s no way you actually believe that.”
I shrug. “We just have different definitions of behave, I suppose.”
“And yours is wrong.”
“Only in your eyes, Master Collins.”
Oh great, now he looks even more displeased.
Oops.
“Besides, I have already proven that I can leave your sex shack without any incidents. So just trust me to do it again.”
I swear the man is sulking. Every time we leave this safe place—inside the confines of his apartment—we have to put up a fake front and pretend that he is just my bodyguard, and I am just his client. Yet up until now, we haven’t had a ton of days where we actually left the building.
Sometimes trying to be sneaky can be sexy. We just haven’t experienced it yet to the extent we will today.
Today I’m breaking out of my pampered palace no matter how grumpy Collins is about it.
“It’ll be fun. And besides, I don’t have much choice where Angie and Claire are involved. Those two make it very difficult to say no to.”
I text back a confirmation on the group chain and get the details that we are all meeting up at Graham and Angie’s place for some girl time first before we decide on the real plan.
“You know I don’t do well with the unknown.”
I prop my hands on my hips. “You don’t do well with anything that isn’t your idea.”
Collins shrugs. “It’s difficult to go through life always being the bearer of the better ideas.”
I laugh. “Oh yes, you have it sooo hard.”
“I’m going to be so freaking hard not being able to touch you all day while being in close proximity.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll make up for it later,” I call out over my shoulder while moving into the closet. “I don’t call you Boy Scout for no reason. I’m sure you’ll be resourceful.”
His smile is one of mirth. “Absolutely.”
Despite this arrangement being temporary, Collins decided to move all my clothes to his master closet to be adjacent to his. He also thought that I needed an abundance of options—despite not really leaving his bedroom—and provided for every type of weather and every type of color trend.
So when I put on a flowing sea-glass-green skirt and a white tank top, it feels special, like he had some say in the selection.
My fingers smooth out the soft fabric, enjoying how it stretches to look flattering on every curve of my body.
It’s shocking how well this outfit fits me. Just knowing that Collins was the one who chose it for me makes me feel pretty empowered as I walk past him sitting on the bed just for him to stand up at my presence and rake his eyes down every inch of my body in slow motion.
“You can’t wear that.”
My eyes narrow. “Why not? Did you buy it for someone else?”
“No, Penelope.”
“Then why?”
“Because I’m not walking around with another hard-on most of the day while visiting with your brothers.”
Turning my back, I walk away. “Sounds like a boy problem and not a man prob?—”
Suddenly I am upside down with my ass high in the air on Collins’s shoulder. He is so fast that my legs catch the breeze.
“Hey! Put me down!”
He stalks into the closet, using his hand to push through items on hangers. “I’m serious.”
“So am I. I love this outfit. I’m not changing.”
Growing unsatisfied by the available options, which are probably all too sexy for his own liking, he growls. “I’m buying you a bulky jumpsuit.”
“Oh, that will look great on me for summer,” I bite out sarcastically. “Make sure it is five layers of fleece sewn together just for added measure, you brute. Better also ensure it has one of those flaps so I can pee easily.”
Collins places me on my feet and takes a step back to examine what I chose. “Pull the hem of your shirt down more.”
“No. This is all your fault, and I refuse to take responsibility for your inability to plan ahead. Also, this is not in our contract and has nothing to do with my safety.”
“It most definitely has to do with your safety when I’m street fighting men who look at you like they want you.”
“Just as long as I can street fight some bitches that want to have their eyes linger on you a tad bit too long.” I gesture toward his body. “That real estate is all mine.”
Staring at each other, we finally agree with a silent truce that I will wear my outfit and Collins will accept this one concession on my independence.
Before walking out, I blow a kiss to my other outfits in the closet.
“What was that for?” he demands.
“Oh, it was just in case you go on a rampage and burn all items in a massive Burn the Bra campaign.”
“Humph,” he grunts. “I’m not that dramatic.”
“Yeah, you kinda are.”
We exit into the hallway, careful not to touch or show any interest in each other, which just causes me to smirk. Well, until I realize how rigid and serious Collins is taking this all.
Sheesh.
Is he mad at me?
I’ve definitely not seen him this stern since unofficially moving into his place.
We get into the elevator where it’s just us. My hand reaches down to try to touch his, and he dodges by placing it in his pocket.
“Why are you so tense?”
“I just have a lot on my mind.”
“Like what?”
“Stuff, Penelope.”
“Stuff,” I repeat. “Care to enlighten me?”
“No.”
“Does this stuff involve me?”
“Please, Penny, let’s not do this right now.”
“What am I doing?”
Silence.
It’s then that I realize I am being shut out—emotionally and physically—and I can’t decide which is worse.
Removing the safety net of his apartment reinforces the reality that outside of those walls, we don’t exist.
I go back to just being Penny, and Collins goes back to closing me out of his life.
He might have a lot of things on his mind, but my feelings aren’t any of them.
I feel demoted from my princess status.
The quiet between us festers as we go through the motions of making our way to the parking garage.
Once we are inside the confines of his car, the awkwardness continues and I start thinking that the short drive will feel like it has tripled in distance.
Maybe I’m in a mood too or perhaps just hungry.
He starts the engine and navigates us out of the garage with ease.
“Collins?”
“Hmm?”
“Can we go to the Rose City Cafe first?” Maybe I’ll actually be able to try out the food there, as the last time we left in such a hurry before we could order.
“Why?” he snaps.
I roll my eyes—and not in the cute way. He’s being straight-up cold. “Never mind.”
Forcing my attention to look out the window, I try to drown out the toxic energy seeping onto my side of the vehicle. This is going to be the longest ride in the history of rides to get to my sister-in-law’s place.
But then Collins swings into a street parking spot, cuts the engine, and is already at my side of the vehicle before I realize that we are in front of the little cafe.
I take his offered hand, but it doesn’t feel like any of the other times he’s presented it to me. This time it feels cold.
I’m the job.
And in this moment, nothing more.
Collins scans the street around us, as if he’s looking for some monster to jump out of the huge flowerpots decorating the store front. We walk inside together, and instantly I feel his body tense beside me.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, genuinely concerned when I look up into his eyes.
“Grab something fast and let’s go.”
He’s serious.
What the hell is going on? It’s like déjà vu all over again. “Do you not like this cafe?”
“Get some fucking food, and we are leaving, Penelope. Now. ”
I swallow hard, feeling my own temper stirring deep in my belly.
Glancing at the already made sandwiches, I grab one and drop it onto the counter. When I reach for my purse, Collins already has it covered.
He grabs my hand and pulls me from the shop, causing me to accidentally bump into another patron on the way out. I don’t even have a chance to apologize, as he ushers me into the passenger seat and locks me inside.
He hovers outside the vehicle, and I watch as he snatches his cell from his pocket and animatedly talks to the recipient on the other end.
Something is wrong, and the more I try to figure out what is going on in Collins’s head, the easier it is for me to be confused.
When he enters the driver’s seat, he glances my way. “Put on your belt.”
“Oh,” I mutter. Looking down, I see that I forgot to secure it.
Collins snaps his on and then pulls out onto the street, resuming his premeditated vow of silence.
I just wish that he cared as much about my mental health as he does my physical health. All of the hot and cold mood swings are messing with my head.
Taking my sandwich from the brown paper bag, I peel back the wrapper and am bombarded by the smell of mustard and the sight of sprouts.
Yuck.
Double whammy.
I take a nibble at the corner that doesn’t seem to have any of the nasties on it, but the scent is so intense that I can’t stomach eating it, especially with it being my first food of the day. Wrapping it back up, I shove the sandwich back into the bag and inwardly grumble over the waste of a trip there.
This isn’t my day…
Weaving through the city, Collins gets us to Graham and Angie’s with relative ease, parking us in the garage in one of my brother’s reserved spots.
“Thanks for the ride,” I mumble, as I exit the car despite Collins’s look of disapproval.
Oh, he’s really in a mood.
I follow him over to the elevators like an obedient servant and toss my uneaten sandwich right into the trash can that is nearby.
An uneasy feeling creeps up my throat, and I just pray it’s not foreshadowing of how the rest of the day will go.
Everything just seems off. And the trip to the cafe is only making everything worse.
“What happened back at the cafe, Collins?”
“Nothing.”
I turn to face him. “You are lying to me, dammit.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “The same thing happened before when we tried to eat there, and you are giving me the same silent treatment as you did then.”
He shrugs.
He fucking shrugs!
“Get inside the elevator, Penelope.”
“Get out of your head and face the reality that is standing right in front of you.”
Taking his hands, he places them on my waist and then lifts me forward so that I’m inside the car. He then proceeds to use his key to access the penthouse floor.
Fuck him. Fuck him and his stupid mouth that refuses to share anything of worth today.
Within a minute, I’m walking into my eldest brother’s foyer, feeling a bit drunk on the brooding silence flittering around Collins and me, ready to separate from the awkwardness.
“Thanks for coming over,” Angie says, giving me a much-needed hug.
I want to cry. Suddenly it feels like my fairy tale is over, and we haven’t even lasted but a few days into the contract.
Something is very off, and it has been since I decided to come here.
But it’s not like I can talk to the girls about anything that is bothering me, so I just plaster on my best attempt at a natural smile.
“Yeah, let the festivities begin,” Claire chants.
Collins and Graham shake hands, while Nic greets him with a nod of his chin.
He’s a way better actor than I am. It’s as if nothing is even wrong based on his interactions, and jealousy strikes my heart at how he’s able to tune me out like I don’t exist way faster than I can do the same to him.
“So, you’ve been holding out info on us,” Claire says, trying to turn serious.
I take a step back. “Huh? And what is that?”
“She’s referring to your roommate’s profession. Rumor has it, he’s a dancer .”
I laugh. “Yeah, well, that’s one way of saying it.”
“Oh my gosh. He’s a stripper!” Claire wiggles her eyebrows. “I have a thing for strippers.”
“You don’t have a thing for strippers, Claire,” Angie says with a laugh. “You have a thing for naked men.”
She looks down at her feet, rocking on them. “This is actually true, but I don’t like to discriminate at all when it comes to the male physique. I love them all.”
“You also have a thing for defying me.” Nic takes a step closer to his woman, pulling her into him. His eyes trail down her body. “Seems like you have a lot of things these days.”
“I like your thing just fine. So don’t get jealous. It’s ranked in my top three.”
A low groan escapes Nic’s lips as he presses a very possessive kiss to the base of her neck. It’s Claire’s yelp that lets me know it was more than just a peck. She rubs at her now reddening flesh, glaring daggers at her man. “You better be counting inanimate objects for the other two in the rank.”
“Oh, no. My objects very much are animated . I don’t invest in the cheap kind without a horsepower motor.”
I cover my eyes with both my hands like I’m five years old watching a scary movie. “You two seriously teeter on the edge of mass destruction on the daily.” Smirking at Claire, I give her a bump with my elbow. “So what if my new roomie is basically a thirst trap. You aren’t hurting in the relationship department like I seem to be.”
From across the room, Collins shifts his weight. It’s subtle, but I can tell he feels off-balance with my comments.
Good.
I feel off-balance with his lack of them.
Claire nods thoughtfully. “Yeah, I agree. I basically have my own personal fuck toy whenever I?—”
“For fuck’s sake, woman,” Nic hisses. “Keep it up with your filthy mouth and see what happens…”
She smiles like a Cheshire cat but turns to me. “Can your roomie get us VIP tickets?”
Nic lets out a snort.
Graham laughs. “You all are going to start a war in my foyer.”
“I just don’t understand the big deal,” Claire whines. “It’s not like I plan on going home with anyone.”
I almost feel bad for Nic. He is about to lose it, and Claire is oblivious to it all.
My eyes slide to Collins. And sheesh…
He looks murderous as well.
Too. Fucking. Bad.
“There is no way I’m allowing you to step foot in another strip club. Wasn’t Vegas enough?”
“Penny wasn’t with us. And besides, now we know someone—well, kind of—in the show. That makes it special.”
“Oh yeah, super special,” Nic deadpans.
Claire shrugs. “If you’re worried about people flirting”—she points down to her stomach—“well, then don’t. There’s no hiding this belly bumpity-bump, even if I tried. Nobody would even give me a second glance.”
“You look freaking gorgeous,” Nic says boldly. “And if I need to fuck another baby into you just to?—”
“Ahhh!” I scream out, holding my hands over my ears.
Collins can’t keep his smirk from his face this time as he watches my every movement.
Picking nail polish off her fingernail, Claire frowns. “Exaggeration just makes me feel even more insecure, ya know?”
“Punk is speaking the truth,” I chime in. I know Claire is having some self-esteem issues as her belly grows, but she really has no clue just how attractive she is. I think her whole pregnancy glow is just making her even more beautiful. “You are the cutest pregnant person in existence, Claire. And any man with vision capabilities can see that.”
Nic drapes an arm over my shoulder, giving me a squeeze. “Thanks,” he says in a whispered voice.
Squeezing him back, I mouth, “You’re welcome,” when Claire’s not looking.
Graham ushers us into the main part of his and Angie’s residence. When Collins turns to leave, Nic gestures for him to stay. As I walk into the main living space, I hear their muffled voices, feeling the pangs of jealousy that he can be social with them but not me.
Yeah, I’m butt-hurt.
And borderline about to be petty with my emotions…
“So, do you ladies want to order in food and watch movies?” Angie asks. “We can flip through some of the summer fashion catalogs and talk about boys?”
“I’m up for anything,” I say quietly.
I still have so many emotions running through me. I’m feeling lonely at the moment, and sometimes hanging out with Angie and Claire reminds me how badly I still need a best friend.
They always have each other. And while I’m being included in today’s festivities, I very much feel like an outsider and an obligation.
“Hey,” Claire says, getting my attention. “Penny, you seem like you have a lot on your mind.”
I look into her concerned eyes, and then out of nowhere, the tears flood out in a rush before I can trap them.
Dammit.
“Well, that wasn’t part of the plan,” I say with an obscene amount of sniffles.
Angie wraps her arm around me and pulls me down the hallway with Claire. We move into one of the spare bedrooms that is so luxurious that it could easily be a second master.
My brother must have upgraded some of the rooms, splurging on a designer and some upscale items since the last time I was here.
Once the door shuts, I feel a little better and less exposed from the open floor plan of the living room.
Claire passes me some tissues and takes some for herself, settling in on the bed.
“You are crying too?” Angie asks, joining her, and then chokes on her own tears. “Oh, dear. Every time I see someone cry, I join in.”
Claire blows her nose loudly. “It’s contagious.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, reaching for another tissue before plopping down onto the bed. “I didn’t mean to cry.”
“It’s okay.” Angie rubs a hand over my back. “Apparently we all needed to let it out.”
“It does feel good to actually cry,” Claire agrees. “I’m sad to see you so upset though, Penny. What’s going on?”
“I am lonely today.”
Angie sits up straighter to make eye contact. “You have us.”
“I know, but I know you both are busy. And sometimes I just need a friend to chat with.”
Claire levels her eyes with mine. “We are never too busy for you.”
“I just know that for over a year I was a burden to my family, and the last thing I want now that I’m released from the facility is to be needy.”
Angie wraps me in a full-on hug. “Being needy and having needs are not the same thing. You have needs , Penny, just as we all do. You were never a burden. We love you.”
I want to open up more. I want to tell them that the emotional distance I’m feeling today with Collins is deflating my happiness balloon at the first hint of sharpness. I want to tell them that I have a haunting feeling in the back of my mind that something—or someone—is going to snatch away everything good in my life that I’m trying to build.
It sure doesn’t help that I can’t even eat at a freaking cafe in the city without becoming paranoid. Something for sure happened today, and I’ll be damned if I allow Collins to keep me in the dark about whatever perceived danger is lurking.
We all rest on the king-sized bed, melting into the huge fluffy pillows. I dry my eyes using tissues from the box resting on the nightstand, trying to get my breathing back to normal.
“You need to tell us what’s going on,” Claire prompts. “What changed from the last time you and I talked?”
I trust the girls. I do. However, putting them in a position where it’s best to lie to my brothers is not something I’m willing to do. If I’m going to open up to them, then I need to do it on generic terms.
“There’s a guy…”
Claire smacks her hands together and lets out a squee, earning a look of disapproval from Angie—who calmly pats my leg for me to continue.
I shrug. “He is cute…” But in the dirty, rugged kind of way. There’s so much I want to share, if just to get advice, but I know I shouldn’t. Anyone associated with my brothers is strictly off-limits, and I’m basically trying to confide in the two women who are the closest to them.
Why is life so unfair?
Claire tries to roll to her side to better look at me but struggles. “Throw me a life preserver. I’m drowning in this bed,” she whines. “And to think that I’ve studied, mastered, and performed every single Kama Sutra position in the handbook, and now am unable to roll my beached whale body over on a bed. I have officially reached a new low.”
Angie giggles and slides off the mattress to give her a gentle push, while I pull her arm to get her to rotate. “Well, that tidbit of information is?—”
“Impressive?” Claire asks.
“Entirely too much information. Besides, you are barely at the halfway point. I can’t imagine how the next few months will go,” Angie teases.
“Poor Nic,” I chime in, clearly joking.
Claire makes a face at me. “Don’t give that man any sympathy. He made me this way.”
“Now, Penny, tell us more about this guy of yours,” Angie insists.
“It’s complicated,” I supply.
Angie lets out a huff, bouncing back onto the bed toward the bottom. “Always is.”
Claire clears her throat, coughing into her elbow. “Is he the same guy that got delivered the cock cake?”
I nod. “Yup.”
Claire taps her jaw, looking deep in thought. “Okay. Then there’s only one other way to get him to see what he’s missing out on.”
Angie folds her hands in prayer in front of her, looking up to the ceiling and muttering quietly, “Please give this girl sound advice.”
“It’s all about making him jealous.”
“Oh, no,” Angie blurts out, breaking out of her pose.
“Oh, yes!”
Angie cringes. “Please tell me you don’t have a plan.” I imagine she’s the voice of reason for about ninety-five percent of Claire’s ideas.
Claire pumps her fist into the air. “Oh yes! Nothing revs up the libido on a man more than thinking another dick is in a few yards’ radius. And it’s a twofer plan. Not only will it test this guy’s attraction toward you, but it will also serve as a way of getting you noticed with another potential match.”
“And how does this plan work?” I ask, intrigued but also scared.
“It’s simple.”
“It never is,” Angie adds, making Claire fake scoff.
“Keep in mind, Angie, it was little ol’ me who got you back together with Graham during your breakup with a similar plan.”
“That plan was a hot mess! You secretly forced me into a double date.”
I suck in my bottom lip and then pop it out. “I bet my brother lost his mind.”
Claire nods eagerly. “Yup. And it worked, thank you very much.”
I shrug to Angie. “She has a point.”
“I do,” Claire interjects, snapping her fingers for attention. “You just need to start living your best life.”
I let out an awkward laugh. “I feel like that will need its own separate mission. How do I even do that?”
Claire thinks about it thoughtfully for a moment, obviously winging this as she goes. “Ask Angie for details. She’s the expert.”
My eyes move to my sister-in-law’s. She shrugs.
“Tell her, Angie,” Claire encourages.
“Tell her what?”
“Tell her how when you first met Graham, you decided to defy him at every chance you got.”
“She still defies me,” Graham chimes in from the doorway.
“Stop eavesdropping!” I scold, making Angie giggle.
His tall body fills the frame. If he wasn’t my brother, I would definitely be intimidated. But deep down, he is one giant softie for those he loves.
“It’s not eavesdropping if it is my own place. Anyway, can I interest any of you in a drink?” When none of us take him up on his offer, he sighs. “Nic is on a call at the moment but he insists on you having some water, Claire.”
She rolls her eyes. “Of course he does.”
“I figured if everyone around you has a beverage, you’d be more inclined to follow suit. Otherwise I’ll have to deal with”—he points behind him—“that madman.”
Claire lets out an exaggerated exhale. “Fine.”
Graham walks down the hallway and after a couple of minutes returns holding a glass of ice water, which he hands politely to Claire. “Drink.”
“Sweetheart?” He leans down to press a kiss to Angie’s temple. “You sure you don’t want anything?”
She smiles up at him. “I’m good.”
“That you are.”
I shake my head at the deliriously happy couple. Will I ever find someone that adores me like Graham does Angie? What about how Nic and Claire fit perfectly together as if they were created with the other in mind?
What I have with Collins is temporary…
And he’s proven it today with how easily he can shut me out if he’s determined.
I should heed this little warning and protect my heart.