Chapter 9
9
PENNY
An ache surges in my elbows as I crash onto the floor in a heap of black lace.
Well, that hurt.
“Penny! What the hell?”
I look up into Collins’s concerned eyes as mine fill with tears. My bottom lip quivers. “Ouch.”
His strong arms scoop me up as if I’m the weight of a feather. “Shh…I got you.”
And he does.
Gone is the frustration over most of the day with him not paying attention to me.
Gone is the look of indifference and silence.
And gone is the boundary he so carefully maintains when we are outside his apartment.
“I’m sorry,” I whimper.
Collins soothes me, his voice hushed, as he cradles my body like I’m the most precious thing to him.
His heat radiates through the thin fabric of my dress, and suddenly I feel very exposed. It’s one thing for him to be looking from afar while in public, but it’s a whole other thing for him to be this close and me looking so scandalous.
I try to wiggle from his hold. “Someone will see.”
“I need to take care of you.”
“I’m fine.”
“You are not fine. What hurts?”
“My ego.”
His face is so gentle and full of concern. It isn’t the sourpuss expression he plastered on all day thus far. “Nothing else?”
“I’m not hurt-hurt, I don’t think. I’m just so embarrassed. I think I just drank too much. I’m not used to consuming alcohol, especially this early.”
“What’s the last thing you ate?” he snaps. “The Rose City Cafe sandwich?”
I shake my head no. Is he really this clueless about what went down this morning? “I tossed it in the trash.”
“What? Why?” Then realization appears to hit him, as he’s been with me all day and hasn’t been the most pleasant person.
I shrug. “It was really yucky.”
“Fuck. You should have had something to eat at my place before we left.”
Wonderful—his bad mood is back in full swing.
“Oh, no.” I hold my hands up in front of me in protest. “Don’t blame this all on me. We were a little distracted this morning to remember breakfast, hence why I suggested stopping at the cafe.” It’s the truth. “Then things got weird, and you rushed me out of there. Yet you still refuse to inform me of what actually happened.”
Setting me on the sofa, Collins stands in the entranceway of the dressing room and waves over the worker.
“Sir, is there a problem?”
Even strangers bow down to his calm authority, as if he is the owner of this boutique and everyone inside answers to him.
“I need some crackers and a bottle of water and orange juice. Oh, and maybe some cheese or something with protein?”
“Certainly,” the worker says before rushing off.
“This isn’t a grocery store,” I grumble. He most definitely has been hanging around my brothers long enough to know that money and power will get you anything.
Picking up a strawberry from the champagne garnish tray on the table, he places it at my mouth, silently urging me to bite.
I try to sit up, but my head feels like a bowling ball. “It’s no big deal.”
“Eat. Your health and well-being are a big deal to me.”
“Really, I’m fine.”
“Let me take care of you, Princess.”
I don’t dare blink as my eyes brim with another layer of tears that I can barely hold back.
It’s that one-word endearment that makes me believe that maybe we are okay. Maybe he is just stressed that we are in public.
And maybe he isn’t actually having regret over our little arrangement.
“But I am okay. I think the floor stopped moving, and your face is back to being just one and not three.”
His eyes narrow on me. “You still look like you’re going to faint again, and you haven’t eaten anything all day except for a couple of strawberries just now. So I don’t trust your assessment on the size of this problem, because your health is nonnegotiable.”
I look at the strawberry Collins is holding and concede by opening my mouth to accept his offering and give in to his demands. I chew carefully, as to not humiliate myself even more by choking. “You have quite the presence, Mr. Stone.”
I can tell my formality catches him off guard. Good.
One minute he is acting like my boyfriend and the next he is pushing me away. The back-and-forth is giving me whiplash.
The worker returns with some crackers and beverages, informing us that Angie and Claire got distracted with a shoe display of new arrivals on the main floor. She then exits to leave the two of us alone.
I want to make a joke about this almost being a date, but I don’t want to rock this sinking boat any more than I have somehow today.
Collins cracks open the seals and alternates between giving me sips of water and sips of orange juice. I feel very stupid for not snacking on something at Angie and Graham’s house prior to coming here. My mind just feels so cloudy today.
But Collins really knows how to handle situations. He always knows what to do—like a Boy Scout.
“What was your nickname growing up?” I ask, trying to use our alone time together to gain more insight into his life.
“Boy Scout.”
My jaw drops. “You’re joking.”
“I never joke.”
I tap a finger along my jaw. “This is true.”
“Keep eating, Penelope.”
Sliding a cracker into my mouth, I bite down.
Collins is still sporting a scowl so I add cheese to the next mouthful.
Why is he so upset? Nothing bad happened.
Collins’s eyes scan down my outfit, making a tingle run up my spine. “You should change.”
My confidence wilts. Does he not like it? I go to stand up, finding my trusty shadow right beside me. I move into the dressing room, but before I can shut the door, I feel the looming presence of Collins at my back. “A little privacy would be nice.”
“Privacy is earned by good girls. Are you a good girl, Penny?”
I nibble at my bottom lip, resisting the urge to crane my neck backward to check out his facial expression. “You only want me to be when it suits your needs.”
“That can’t be further from the truth. We are in a public place and surrounded by those you love who would be able to sniff out anything between us if we step out of line just one time.”
“Well, then I guess I’m not a good girl. Because I refuse to act like nothing is wrong between us when your coldness is making me want to withdraw.”
Suddenly I’m pressed forward so I’m flat against the full-length mirror.
Taking his palm, he presses my face against the glass surface so my cheek is getting the brunt of the coldness.
It feels good to have the contrast between that and my heated flesh.
“Is this what you want?” He bends at the waist to gain access to my dress with the slide of his hand up my naked thigh. “You want to be felt up in dressing rooms while your sister-in-law and future sister-in-law are shopping in the other room?”
Clearly he doesn’t understand that since walking out of the safety net of his apartment, it isn’t the lack of physical attention that I’ve been upset with. The fact he thinks that’s what I want makes me feel like some whore.
I want more from him than just to be fucked. If he can’t see that then he doesn’t know me at all.
Regardless of being good or bad, I fear I won’t be the type of girl Collins wants anyway. And while his caress feels amazing now, I’m not sure I can pretend I don’t have anxiety over the heartbreak I will surely endure when our contract comes to an end.
The more strings I tie to him, the more I’ll have to untangle when the false hope of forever blows up in my heart.
“Maybe I’m just not good enough,” I finally say, unable to eradicate the sound of defeat completely from my tone, in fear of sounding pathetic.
Collins releases me, trying to make eye contact—but I refuse. Quickly I strip down in front of him and replace the clothes for purchase with the ones I arrived in.
We aren’t on the same page today. We aren’t even reading from the same book.
“You’re mad at me?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No. I’m just sad this lightbulb moment didn’t come sooner.”
Cornering me against the wall and mirror, he blocks me in with his arms at the sides of my head. “You are enough, Penny.”
“You say that, but I don’t even think you believe it yourself.”
I dip under his arm, making my way out of the dressing room first and checking to be sure the girls aren’t out there to witness us being together.
Collins takes up the dutiful bodyguard position against the wall, while I plop down onto the comfy sofa.
“Drink more juice, Penelope.”
I glare daggers at him.
Collins may be good for my body, but he can cause major damage to my heart. Maybe it’s just destined for breaking.
Time to start erecting those walls to protect myself.
“Penny? Is something wrong?” Angie asks, rushing to my side when she enters the room with Claire.
“I must look really bad,” I grumble.
“You look pale and weak,” Claire says. “Did you pass out?”
“Yes, but?—”
“Oh my, here…have something to eat,” Angie says, making me a cracker with cheese from the platter that the worker brought to the table.
Claire uses a long skewer to add fruit to it, arranged in the colors of the rainbow. “Here, eat. You probably have low blood sugar.”
Angie opens up a bottle of water. “Drink.”
I accept all the offerings for another round of unnecessary coddling, but only because I don’t like disappointing them. Feeling like a deflated balloon, I probably do need the hydration, so I comply with everyone’s bossiness.
Feeling good enough to move on with the day, I start to stand up, but quickly remain seated when I catch Collins’s reaction to my movement. “I just got a little dizzy. Nothing to worry about.”
“We’re going to go eat lunch,” he says, his tone unwavering.
Claire claps her hands together. “Where are we going to eat? This baby”—she rubs her belly like a genie lamp—“has gotten way less picky. So the world is our oyster.” She makes a face. “Ew, but no, and I repeat— no —seafood. We both have our limits.”
“I don’t have a preference,” Angie says softly. “Let’s let Penny pick.”
Oh. Shit. I hate making decisions. “Umm, maybe the taco shack down the block?”
“Yum,” Claire hums.
I tap a finger along my jaw. “And you know what goes well with tacos…”
“Orgasms!”
“Claire, no,” Angie says with a giggle. “Those go well with anything.”
“True,” her best friend agrees. “This is the problem with being horned up and sober. It’s never a good combination.”
I get my own laughter under control. “I was going to say margaritas.”
“Always down for tacos and margies,” Claire says with excitement, causing us all to frown. “Sheesh. Obviously minus the tequila… You can drink one for me though, and I can live vicariously watching each sip. It’ll almost be the same thing.”
I accept Collins’s hand that he offers to me, lifting me up from the couch. We make our way downstairs and to the cash register. Apparently Graham insisted on buying whatever we wanted to get today, so checkout is fast and efficient.
When we get to the taco shack, which is as basic as it sounds, we order a variety platter. The girls walk ahead to find outdoor seating, while Collins stares at me with his judgy eyes.
“No more alcohol.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “I don’t have a drinking problem. I barely drink.”
“I was not implying you did.”
“Then why the fuss?”
“You need to stay hydrated so you don’t have a dizzy spell again.”
“So bossy.”
He growls. “So defiant.”
I stick out my tongue.
“I’m keeping score,” he says smoothly.
“How am I doing then?”
“You’re doing fine. It’s your mouth and your ass that are going to pay the debt.”
I give him another smirk and then saunter to the table that the girls chose, overlooking the river. I can feel Collins’s gaze burning into the back of my head. Good. He needs to know what it feels like to not get his way all the time.
He might own me in the confines of his home, but he doesn’t own me when I’m out in the wild. He just thinks he does.
I have free will and don’t need to determine at the moment if his threats are empty or not. That can be figured out later.
When the bell rings at the counter where we placed our order, Collins gets up and retrieves the prepared items, also grabbing us some napkins and silverware. Placing the pitcher of margaritas down in the center of the table and Claire’s virgin one down in front of her, I can already hear the mental groan he must be doing over our “bad choices.”
Whatevs.
He can deal with it.
I am tired of following some arbitrary rules that were never officially laid out in black and white in the contract.
So none of this is my fault if that man takes issue with how I’m handling today.
This is my life. I might as well start living it.