Chapter 44
44
PENNY
Through determination and willpower, I force my eyes to open, but no matter where I look, I see my room through a blurry film. It’s like my eyes have been smeared with petroleum jelly.
The backup lights have kicked on from the emergency generator, casting a reddish glow onto the space from the illuminated EXIT lights around the building, I assume.
I blink.
And blink again.
But nothing seems to clear the cloudiness from my eyes.
Staying alert is a priority and yet I can’t quite get my brain to cooperate.
Rolling to my side, I?—
“Omph,” I huff, feeling a pain in my shoulder as I hit the ground.
Seeing the floor now at my eye level, I allow the coldness from the tiles to penetrate through the thin linen fabric of my garments. Maybe this will wake me up from this drowsy state.
Pulling myself along the floor, I army crawl toward the bathroom in the dim lighting. I need to get my legs working again. I feel boneless—made of jelly.
And I damn well need to get my ass out of this place.
It’s not safe.
My memory burns with the realization that Rex is a bad guy, and that everything I know about him is one big lie. Our random meeting outside of the coffee shop where he introduced me to the speed dating event was probably all part of one big master plan…
To what?
To make me trust him?
To make me feel unworthy of anyone liking me?
Someone tampered with my scorecard, and looking back, Rex would have had the access to do just that.
And for the last week, I’ve only blamed Luke.
No matter how many attempts he made at explaining himself after the initial confrontation, I just kept ignoring him.
Dammit.
Moving to my knees, I press my palms down and will myself to push forward.
One inch at a time…
I can do this.
Pulling the shower door to the side, I maneuver myself inside and use the tiled wall for stability as I try to get up on my knees.
Reaching for the knob, I turn the water on cold and allow it to soak into my hair and clothes, causing an energy to move through me with each shiver.
Relaxing my mind, I allow it to wander as my thoughts begin to clear.
Limit-X.
I got invited to a sex club randomly by someone who handed me a postcard at the coffee shop event. I don’t even remember who handed it to me, but at the end of the night, I was enticed by the mysterious invitation.
Rex.
He probably wanted to send me there. But why?
I don’t remember him handing it to me. I would have remembered that—right? Someone else handed it to me, although some of my once-solid memories of the night have since faded.
Thinking back on that first visit, I discovered that Collins had a kink for pain and pleasure.
Rex must have known about it too then. He wanted me to see.
This wasn’t kismet. This was calculated evil, orchestrated by men determined to do me harm.
Well, it backfired. Collins became my lover, rather than me being so appalled after the shock wore off that I would request another bodyguard.
This was probably some master plan to get him away from me and make my brothers distrust their most powerful weapon.
Because if I didn’t have someone like Collins watching over me, then I would have been easier to manipulate.
But in the end, Mark Tanner won.
Whether he orchestrated it or not, I came here on my own and in my most vulnerable state. Getting me isolated hours away from my family and my bodyguard was an ideal situation for Mark Tanner to end me for good. His minion, Rex, is just following orders.
Fuck.
And Collins is not here.
These evil men got what they wanted. They wedged themselves between my brothers and their most trusted employee, because now I’m alone.
And the irony is that it’s of my own free will.
I brought me here.
Stretching out, I wiggle my toes and fingers, fighting life back into all my movable parts.
I take a few deep breaths and give myself my mental pep talk.
I may have brought myself here, but I refuse to die here.
I am safe for now .
I am fierce in theory .
And maybe with time, I will be loved again. I just can’t think about any endgame right now.
Rex might have made it easier for my brothers to find out about Collins and my secret relationship, but my brothers would never have approved of it regardless of the revelation surrounding it.
But I can’t focus on that.
In this moment, my top priority is getting myself better to be whole again. That was the purpose of coming here anyway.
Rex didn’t cause my mental turmoil. He just made it easier to use it against me.
And I played right into his hands.
I rub at my sore arm where I was…injected.
Dr. Radinsky. She was here. She came to see me. She’ll help. She doesn’t know Rex is playing for the wrong team.
Feeling electrified, I shut off the water and manage to pull myself up to standing. Reaching for a towel, I dry off and dig through the cabinets to see if there are more clothes.
None.
Trying to stay upright, I use the wall for balance but fall into it instead, blinking to adjust my vision to the red light. It’s making me dizzy.
Water drips from my still soaked clothes onto the tiled floor.
I’m barefoot.
Huh.
I guess I took my shoes off? I look around. I’m not even sure where they would be.
I just need to get out in the hallway and find Dr. Radinsky. She needs to know that…
Oh yeah, she drugged me.
I rub at my arm.
She’s not evil. She probably had no choice.
Wait, I just had that thought already—right?
It’s like my brain is some old record player I see in older movies, skipping when the vinyl gets scratched.
My brain is skipping.
I am a mess.
My mind jumps from idea to idea, unable to form a complete thought.
Why am I here?
How did I get here?
Rubbing at my temples, I feel the pounding as my migraine continues to develop. I need to hydrate. Maybe my blood sugar is just low.
I brought me here.
Maybe someone has juice.
I could go for fresh pineapple mango.
I’m so thirsty.
Collins would have juice.
He’s not here.
He left me.
I brought me here.
Toddling to the door of my room, I try the handle and am surprised when it opens.
Leaning forward, I look down both sides of the hall, but I can only see a few yards in front of me with the red fog. I find no one.
I find the exit sign at the end of the wing. It’s my beacon in the darkness. The black box outlines the red letters, although they are blurry from this distance.
I stare at each illuminated dot, focusing my energy on getting closer to that sign and hopefully out of this mental prison.
I brought me here.
My feet carry me zigzag down the hall. I’m like a baby deer learning to take its first steps. Whoever is watching me on the security footage must be laughing.
Cameras.
There’s cameras here—all over. There’s twenty-four-hour surveillance. The workers take shifts around the clock. My brothers would never have chosen a place for me that didn’t host the best security features. That I know.
Waving my hands into the air as a call for help, I look to see where the black eyes are, presumably on the ceiling. I’ve never really noticed before. I just assumed they were watching me when I stepped out of my room.
Someone’s always watching me…
I mouth “help!” just in case anyone in the control room can read lips. I’m wishful thinking someone can read my mind instead. Maybe then they can let me know what I’m thinking.
Everything seems so fuzzy.
I brought me here.
When I get halfway to the neon exit light, a door opens, followed by a sack of something falling out—right at my bare feet.
Looking down at the source of my shock, I gasp.
My hands fly to my face as I cry out, “Dr. Radinsky!”
Oh, no.
No!
And then I wail. A guttural, deep in my soul, weeping sound…
Dr. Radinsky is covered with blood and it’s appearing to come from her head. Tar-like streams pour into her closed eyes, pooling until she blinks, sending them plummeting south. Her hair soaks up the mess.
Her beautiful hair…
I’m going to throw up.
“Ahhh!” I yell, watching her eyes look at me pleadingly for help. It startles me.
I’m not even sure how she can see through the blood.
She’s alive.
Thank goodness she’s alive.
Her eyes just stare at me, as her hands try to cover over the wound gushing with the dark, thick syrup.
“I’m sorry,” I groan. “I’m so sorry.”
She has kids.
Three kids.
We would often sit in the courtyard together and enjoy feeding the koi fish in the little pond. She helped me get set up with horseback riding lessons as part of my ongoing therapy regimen. She was my advocate when it came to group sessions.
Dr. Radinsky never forced me to talk. She waited until I was ready, and it took me a very long time to be ready.
She made me feel safe.
She treated me like a human and not some vegetable that needed to be fixed.
I try to tug her up, but she’s all deadweight. She came here tonight because I was admitted. She was the on-call doctor at the time. And now she could die.
There may be blood on her head, but there is more on my hands.
I’m at fault for her getting hurt.
It’s my fault.
And I can’t help her. I can’t even help myself.
Glancing down the hall, I look for a lifeline—anyone who can help—and I am struck with the distinct and startling vision of the trench-coated man.
Oh, hell no!
I can’t do anymore scary shit today!
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur to her. “I’m just so sorry.”
But I can’t stay here and die without a fight.
A wheezing sound hisses from her lungs, as she tries to clear her throat enough to talk.
“Rrr…”
With no time to think or to wait for Trench Coat to catch me, I pivot and throw my body forward and away from Dr. Radinsky.
Stumbling into the door she fell out of, I feel the piercing pain in my elbow from the sudden movement.
The man takes a step toward me, as I stay cemented in my place. But I can’t stay still for long. The floor he continues to walk on looks like rolling waves. He’s floating.
Or surfing…
He removes his rain hat, tossing it to the side, and it is then that I confirm that he is who I think he is and my vision isn’t blurry anymore.
“Hello, Penny,” his deep, ugly voice booms from his throat.
The blinders are off.
The air has cleared.
And…
Mark Tanner is here to get me, and he won’t stop until I’m destroyed.
So I run.
And I run.
It’s not pretty, but I do my best with the lingering effect of the drugs still coursing through my system.
I slip and slide on the floor from my dripping wet clothes, tumbling forward as the searing pain hits my elbows first and then my chin as they hit the ground.
Blood dribbles from my fresh wound, contaminating the sterile tiled floor. I focus on the black specks in the glow of the emergency lights. Rolling to my side and using my knee to prop myself up, I look back down the hallway.
Fuck!
Now there are two.
It’s like I’m seeing double.
I’m hallucinating. I have to be.
Two men.
Two trench coats.
Two rain hats. One is hanging from Mark’s fingertips. The other one is worn by the other man.
I’m doomed.
The two stalking men stride toward me.
They are strikingly similar—yet different.
I struggle to get up and get my legs to hold my weight.
They are closing in on me.
My head whips around again.
Now there’s three.
Mark takes up the center of the pointing V, leading the march down the hallway toward me.
My eyes squeeze tightly shut, praying that this is all one bad hallucinogenic dream. I pray that I wake up in my own bed and can be thankful that my imagination is what was playing tricks on me, and not this evil lurking at the periphery of my life.
Grabbing my damp hair, I pull. Clumps of strands pluck out, making me cry loudly in agony.
They are getting closer.
Closer.
I can hear their breaths exhaling from their lungs, they are that close.
“Ahhhh!” I scream into the charged air.
I recoil as a hand touches me, and I twist out.
And I run. And I don’t stop until I crash right into a white coat.
Looking up, and through the filter of my pooling tears, I plead. “Help me. I need help. He’s coming for me. Look!”
I punctuate my urgency by grabbing hold of the collar of the coat of the man and shaking.
“There, there, Miss Penny,” White Coat coos. “There, there.”
But when my eyes focus between the layers of tears, I see that it’s Rex.
“Rex.”
“Yes, sweet Penny. I will keep you safe.”
Lies.
He’s been deceptive from the first moment we met.
“You set me up?”
“Yes,” he confirms.
All the memories of him weaving himself seamlessly into my life come rushing back like flipping through a picture book on high speed.
“Nothing was random?”
“No. The first meeting, tampering with your dating matches, and paying someone twenty dollars to hand you a postcard.”
“You made it look like Luke was the untrustworthy one.”
“That was just for fun.”
“Fun?”
He shrugs. “I was bored.” Then he smirks. “I especially loved sending you the mystery message mail. Scaring you is my kink.”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t. You hate yourself.”
“Shut up.”
“You should have seen your oldest brother’s face when he saw the contract. It was amazingly twisted.”
Oh, hell.
Rex pets my hair. “You’re such a beautiful, easy victim. But you shouldn’t have left a copy in your bottom nightstand drawer. Tsk-tsk.” He places his hand in front of my mouth. “Kiss the hand that fed you the lies and the deceit.”
“Listen to me!” I scream, trying to move away from his hand. “Mark Tanner is going to kill and?—”
“Shh…”
“And dispose of you!” I bellow. “He’s using you to destroy my family. You’re expendable.”
“Take a deep breath,” Rex says, waiting for me to comply. His voice is hypnotic as if he’s the one under some spell. “Hold it for the count of five, and then release slowly. One, two, three, four, five. And deep inhale through the mouth, and release through the?—”
“Listen. To. Me!” I clap my hands together with each spoken word, making my own head throb. Gripping his shirt for balance, I try not to fall over.
Placing his hands over mine, he helps to release my fingers from the fabric of his uniform. “There’s a side effect to the medication you were given.” His finger touches my nose to bop it, as if I’m some petulant child who has a history of overreacting. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Why does he not sound stressed? I glance behind me to draw attention to the three men following me.
In just a slow blink, tears trail down my cheeks, soaking into my already soggy clothes.
But the trench-coated men are gone.
Vanished.
Poof.
And my sanity is now in the balance.
It’s as if the atmosphere has swallowed them up into some cosmic black hole and the only thing left are the haunting images of them once being there.
I blink and hope it helps me think clearer. Then I remember my trauma.
“Dr. Radinsky is hurt,” I say in a rush. “She’s bleeding.”
I don’t know why I’m trying to convince him. Maybe if this man who is now just a stranger to me has some sympathy, I can turn him to be on my side.
Holding up his finger to his lips to shush me, I see dark stains around his fingernails. And on the sleeve of his coat, I see the specks of maroon.
“She suffered a teensy, bitsy head wound,” he says in a singsong voice.
I take a step back. “No.” And then placing my hands up in front of me in defense, I take another step back.
I have to remind myself that the person I thought was a friend is not a safe haven.
My mind shifts between a calm and a fragile state. I feel so confused. It’s as if my mind is snapping the threads that bind it together—one by one.
This stranger is part of the problem.
When Rex closes the distance between us in two short strides, I shove him away, causing myself to stumble onto my ass.
Scrambling to my feet, I dart past him, only for him to grab my arm and jerk me toward him. His bloody fingernails dig into my skin. I wince, tugging with all my might to get free.
Then I remember the lesson Collins taught me so many months ago in the gym on the cushioned mats.
“The first step to defending yourself is trusting your instincts.”
I take a deep breath.
And I take my free hand and grip his fingers, and then pull up toward his thumb. “Back off!”
Then I knee him in the groin, while hitting him between the eyes in one sudden blunt move with the palm of my hand. He falls backward, hitting his head on the tiles.
Turning, I race down the hall, until I collide with the heavy metal door. Pushing against it, I realize that I need the keycard.
Looking back toward Rex’s lifeless form, I see his badge attached with a clip to his chest pocket.
“Fuuu-ck,” I moan, extending the syllables to be two. “Like really fuck.”
Bouncing on the heels of my feet, I tiptoe down the hall toward the incapacitated man who I knocked out, keeping my eyes trained on his closed ones.
I can do this.
I just need to get the keycard—that’s it.
I’ll just get it and go out the door and then get to safety while I wait for the police to arrive. Surely by now my brothers know I’m missing. I left abruptly from the charity event, and knowing them, they are already out searching for me.
Stay focused, Penny.
Then I see it—the crumpled-up ball of paper.
Escapee.
Mark Tanner is an escapee.
I’m not going crazy.
Everything I’ve been experiencing has been reality. I was just being made to think I’m not in my right mind.
When I’m within reach, I bend forward to snatch the plastic card for the taking, just as Rex’s eyes open in a bloodshot stare.
His hand gets my ankle first, tugging me down to the floor.
Then the entire place goes…
Pitch.
Black.