Chapter 50
50
PENNY
I pay my taxi driver money for the ride, and then hop out of the back seat at Claire’s new home. It’s such a new address that I had to rely on memory when the GPS failed to deliver us here.
Glancing around at the wooded area, it’s easy for me to see that Claire has peace and privacy here on their multi-acre lot. The landscaping alone must have cost a small fortune. It’s crazy how such a new home looks so good already.
Claire really has an eye for beauty like my momma does. She deserves happiness and will surely make this house a home. It’s just a shame that her family in Virginia is missing out on seeing her shine like this.
Their loss is our gain.
Breathing in the fresh smells of the vegetation around me, I glance up at Claire and Nic’s coveted forever home. While I’m not jealous of them, I definitely am sad that my opportunity for this level of companionship has been given and taken from me in the matter of one hundred days.
Collins may think he wants me back, but I’m not reentering a relationship just for the shoe to drop back onto me when times get tough. My heart has been broken enough in this lifetime.
And right now, it needs a chance to heal.
I make my way up to the front door, admiring the classy decorations Claire has out for fall. The entire aura around this house is that of a positive energy, and being here is exactly what I need in order to push Collins out of my mind—if just for a few hours. Then I can go back to Claire and Nic’s old apartment and cry myself to sleep at night like I have since I fell at his feet, begging him not to leave me.
Claire opens the door before I have a chance to knock and envelops me into a huge hug. It’s the kind of hug where the person doesn’t let go.
Wrapping my own arms around her, I relax into her hold.
And just breathe.
Inhale through my nose.
Exhale through my mouth.
And I do it deeply again, melting into Claire.
It feels good to be wanted, to be loved.
Claire Nettles lives and breathes acceptance and warmth. It’s no wonder my brother is so smitten with her. She brings excitement and vibrance into his life.
And I am so delusional to think that I did that for Collins.
If anything, I brought to him anxiety and clutter.
What started out as a spark soon fizzled from the weight of the outside world. If only I was strong enough to move past what that man did to me. Sadly, I fear I’ll forever be living in the past and comparing every new relationship to the man who was the epitome of a gentleman on the streets and dominant master in the sheets.
And on the countertop…
And in the front seat of the car…
And against the wall…
And on top of the bathroom vanity at my parents’ house…
And inside the suspended cage at Limit-X…
Collins Stone officially ruined me for every other man I may encounter after him. They will never measure up. And I doubt my body will ever respond to anyone who isn’t him. He owns me, and the only way to detox my body from him is to avoid being in his presence.
I need to quit Collins cold turkey. He’s a bad habit that I no longer need right now.
My mind flutters to the restaurant and the moment he followed me into the restroom. Clearly, I can’t trust myself around him when his presence alone dissolves my willpower to resist him. That man had to have left that place rather smug.
He knew he won.
Claire finally releases me from her hold. Her eyes scan over me. “Hi.”
I snap out of my daydream, looking into the eyes of my soon-to-be sister-in-law. “Hi.”
“I can’t even put into words how terrified I was when you went missing from the charity event. It took everything in me not to follow you up to Seattle and find you myself.”
“Punk would have lost his mind,” I say with certainty.
“That he would have, but I didn’t want to sit back and wait for those I love to not return back to me. I’m,” she says with a pause, “just glad you came back to us.”
Tears start to pool in my eyes, but I keep them at bay.
“Thanks for the hug,” I say, trying to get the topic back to less emotional territory. “I needed that more than you know.”
Claire’s eyes turn serious. “Are you okay?”
I stand like a statue for what feels like a long time, then I give a shrug. “I honestly don’t know.”
Claire nods in understanding, and then she steps back to grant me entrance into her home. “Angie’s in the kitchen making us some snacks. After I consumed three-fourths of a key lime pie, she got nervous.”
I let out a laugh. “I’m just glad there’s some left. You have the best cravings while pregnant, which we all benefit from when we hang out.”
Tilting her head back, she giggles, then quickly straightens her spine. Her hands move to the side of her rib cage. “Ouch,” she whimpers.
“Claire, what’s wrong?” I ask in an octave higher than my normal tone. My gaze follows her hand movements, as she rubs circles against the side of her round belly.
I try to guide her to the couch, but she stops me before we get there.
“I’m fine.” She shoos away my overprotective gestures. “Let’s just go and find Angie. I’ll grab some water.”
My eyes narrow. “Are you sure?”
“Positive. This baby is an attention seeker like its momma.”
I allow Claire to lead the way into her kitchen. When we arrive, we find Angie pulling out a tray of bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers from the oven.
“Oh, Penny, I’m so glad you are here.” She tosses her oven mitts onto the counter and races over to me. “Thank heavens you are okay. Graham made me promise to give you space and not overwhelm you with my”—she makes a face—“aggressive affection.”
I roll my eyes. “Please tell me my brother didn’t state it that way. Surely, he values his life more than to do that.”
She laughs. “He didn’t use those exact words per se. But that’s how I took it. Anyway, I’m so sorry you were terrorized by…”
She doesn’t want to say his name, and I’ll be perfectly fine if I never hear it spoken again for the rest of my life.
“He was going to live inside my mind forever unless I did something to evict him. I’m just glad that Col—” I cut off the second syllable of his name.
And just like that, my tears start to flow.
“Oh, Penny,” Claire says, giving me a warm squeeze.
Angie sniffles and wipes at her eyes. “And I only cry when someone else cries.”
I take a deep breath but it’s shaky. “I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize,” Angie says softly.
“Seriously, though, you both don’t need to coddle me. I’m fine.” I think about my last statement. “Well, I’m not really fine, but I’m also not fragile either.”
“I’m just glad you came over,” Claire says quietly. “I need both of you in my life.”
“I feel the same way.”
I pour her a glass of water. She’s not usually this muted.
Trepidation seeps into the otherwise comfortable state I usually have around these women. Something’s off…
“So, you weren’t going to have a sugar binge fest?”
“Oh, I basically already did when I called you. I just said all of that for dramatic effect to ensure that you would take me seriously and come right over.”
I shake my head at her. Yup. Punk surely does have his hands full with her. I almost feel bad for him.
Almost.
My stomach growls which is plain weird because I did eat something at the restaurant. I guess getting out of the angsty scene between Ivan and Collins has relaxed me enough to realize I could consume more, now that I’m not so tense that I could throw up.
And the sight and smell of the poppers isn’t helping my self-control.
“Let’s eat,” Angie says, getting down some plates from the cabinet. She uses a spatula to serve up some of the crispy appetizers onto each plate, along with marinara and ranch dipping sauces.
Claire rubs her hands together. “I sure have been loving the spicy things in life lately.” When she leans over the island to grab the plate from Angie, I hear her groan.
“Umm, what’s wrong?” Angie asks, stealing the words that I was about to say.
“Nothing,” Claire promises, but when we both make a face that we aren’t buying what she’s trying to sell us, she holds her hands up in defense. “Listen… I’ve already talked to the doctor.”
“And…?” Angie pries.
“It’s just Braxton-Hicks contractions.”
“You’re sure?” I follow up.
She waves us both off, sinking her teeth into a popper. “Yesh,” she says, her mouth full. “It’s all normal and apparently just something pregnant people have to endure.” Her words come out muffled, and her relaxed response helps me to calm down as well. “It’s really nothing to worry about.”
“And you would tell us if you weren’t okay?” Angie asks.
Claire sighs. “Yes. My goodness, you both need to chill. You both are morphing into Nic and it’s starting to stress me out.” She moves over to the fridge. “You overreactors should be glad I saved some key lime pie during my binge fest.” She pulls it from the shelf and holds it up like it’s Simba from The Lion King . “Sharing my beloved pie is love. Do either of you want some?”
I nod eagerly. “That sounds wonderful.”
“Be warned. It looks like a child cut it.”
I glance at the butchered pie through the clear plastic wrap and can’t stop laughing. It still has a knife sticking out of the pile of slop that is now smeared all over the covering. Well, she wasn’t lying. “I’m sure it still tastes great.”
“Dish me up some too,” Angie says finally, after probably accepting that Claire is just experiencing some practice contractions.
The last thing she needs is to be stressed out by one of us.
“I am just glad you both are here,” Claire says casually while she spoons out the sloppy key lime pie from the tin. “I’m pretty sure I was on the path to needing an intervention, and it all started with this pie.”
I take my first bite. “I believe it.”
“I almost ordered a fake boob feeding system from some shady website all because I’m predicting how tired this baby is going to make me when he or she is out of the womb. Nic can grow a pair and feed it then.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s his other pair that got you in this situation in the first place,” Angie says with a laugh, nearly choking on a mouthful of pie.
“This is really good,” I admit. “Thanks for sharing it.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Claire grimace. “What’s wrong?”
She lets out a whimper and rubs a hand along the side of her rib cage.
Angie looks at her with concern evident in her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I think the baby just kicked or something.”
Angie and I help her walk to the living room.
“You need to rest,” I insist.
“What I need is for you to see the love that is right in front of your face, Penny,” Claire says in a rush. It takes her several breaths to complete the sentence.
“I know you both love me,” I say softly, helping her sit down without just flopping down into the cushions. “And I love you both too.”
For someone so petite, she is doing a great job growing this baby. Her stomach is so round, and the pregnancy glow has kissed her skin.
“Not us,” Claire exclaims. “Well, of course, us. But I was thinking of someone else.” Her breaths come out as pants. “Ever since our bathroom couch session at the charity event, I’ve been thinking about how the two of you can get back together.”
I shake my head. “It’s complicated, and I’m done being an option.”
“I think you should keep the door open and not closed.”
“Umm, I’m not an expert, Claire,” Angie chimes in, “but you are struggling to breathe.”
“How about you lie down more?” I suggest.
“Just on the couch,” she says breathlessly, kicking up her feet and reclining her back on a pillow. “I do want to spend time with both of you.”
Angie and I help her get settled.
“Are you thirsty?” I ask, trying to do something to ease her discomfort.
“I hate complaining,” she says, turning to Angie, “when I know you would do anything to be in my position.”
Angie gives her a hug and helps her elevate her feet up on a stack of pillows. “There’s not a single second in my life when I’m not happy for you, Claire. I love you and love this baby more than my own words can explain. I never want my struggle to conceive to impact your reason for having joy.”
The doorbell rings, causing us all to stop our conversation.
“Can you go get that, Penny?” Claire asks, melting into the cushions of the couch. At least she looks comfortable.
“Yeah, sure.” But why would my brother ring the doorbell to his own house?
Walking to the door, I look out the side window and see Collins standing on the welcome mat and a car driving away.
I flick the lock and allow him access. “What are you doing here? And why did you not drive yourself?” Actually, Angie didn’t come with a vehicle either.
“So you could hear me out and see reason,” he explains, causing me to growl. “And there’s no cars for you to steal and run away from the words I want to say.”
He helps himself inside and locks the door back into place.
“I love you, Penny. And I’m done giving you space.”
“You can’t keep doing this.”
“Yes, I can. And I will.”
I feel sabotaged. “Was this whole operation planned?”
He doesn’t answer, which confirms my prediction.
“Just keep in mind, I one hundred percent will take you away from all of this noise until you accept that I’m not going anywhere. I know you think I rejected you before, but it was what I thought you needed until I figured out things with your brothers.”
“You should have stayed, but instead you made the easy choice to desert me and make me beg for you not to break my heart. But you did it anyway.”
“I know, Princess, and I’m really sorry. I was wrong.”
“You should have fought for us.”
“I’m fighting now.”
I rock on my feet, thinking over his words in my head. And then, Claire’s echoing scream causes us both to run toward the sound.