24. CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Wes
S leep evaded me last night, the conversation with Joss about her mom running a loop around and around in my head. It explains why her circle of friends is so tight, and why she’s reluctant to open up and be vulnerable. It’s not like my parents were all warm and fuzzy, but to steal from their own kid? Never. They love me and Rory, even if they aren’t the best at showing it. But this, what Joss has been through—she deserves so much more than people who abandon her and take advantage of her.
I relax into my couch and prop my feet up on the grey ottoman before taking my first sip of coffee. What is it about that first sip that makes it better than all the rest? I hum as it slides across my tongue and down my throat, easing the tension and tiredness. Since I was up early, I was able to get our coffees and my pick of the freshest pastries this morning.
Jaz hooked us up with an array of Joss’s favorites, and she even gave me the locals’ discount. For such a small gesture, it made me feel like this could be home for me.
My front door swings open and Joss appears. Did this woman learn nothing? I could be naked in here. The reminder sends my brain down the gutter. Snap out of it, Wes. This is not helping when you’ve just agreed to fake date her.
Fake, not real.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise to me that with how tangled up my feelings are becoming, offering such a thing was a terrible idea, but I’m committed now. Her mom is arriving tomorrow, giving us very little time to work out the details.
“Hey, gorgeous,” I say, jumping up from the couch and pulling her into a hug. The purple bruising under her eyes tells me she didn’t sleep well either, but I’m a smart enough man not to mention that to her.
“Hey, handsome.” Her greeting is less enthusiastic, but it’s also the first time she’s given me a pet name. I’ve been using them for her since the day we met because I can’t help myself, but it’s a bright spot hearing one fall from her lips.
“Look at us being all cutesy. We’re totally going to kill this pretend relationship thing.” I manage to sound like I mean it, even though it’s not how I feel. Pretending with her feels just plain wrong. Everything between us has always been honest and true. Joss’s face falls a little, and I hope she’s not reconsidering. It’s the best option we have to get her through the weekend .
“Right, yeah. About that…” she says, her bottom lip finding its way between her teeth while her fingers pull at the hem of her hoodie. My hoodie, but I like it on her. “I think we need some ground rules.”
Rules, right. I like rules. In fact, they used to make up ninety percent of my day-to-day.
“Okay, but first, coffee. Jaz went all out this morning.” I grab her hand and lead her over to where I’ve laid out a tray with all the pastries and her coffee, which she reaches for first. Then she folds herself comfortably into the corner of my couch.
“Why is the first sip always the best?” she says as she brings her cup to her full pink lips and inhales, a little hum coming from somewhere deep in her throat.
I laugh at where her head’s at—the same place mine was just moments ago. I can’t seem to drag my eyes away from her when she’s relaxed like this, content. That look on her face is not there enough.
I clear my throat and reply with a lame “Yeah, it’s the best.”
That’s all I can think to say, even though my body urges me to say more. To tell her how I wish I could taste her instead, that I know she would taste better than any cup of coffee. To say that she’s the best. But I don’t say any of that, I tamp all of those things down because we have enough going on without me throwing around feelings that even I don’t understand.
We eat our pastries, avoiding the elephant in the room. Catching up on our lives from the last week feels normal, so we lean into that instead. She tells me about her flights—Sydney to Auckland, Auckland to Honolulu, and then back again in reverse order. I fill her in on my flights and how many amazing jumps I got to see happen. I love the adrenaline even when I’m only flying. It’s contagious with so many people preparing to jump out of the plane. Most of them for the first time.
I wish I could tell her that Drew and I are finally getting along, but it would be a lie.
“I don’t know what it is with that guy, but he gets under my skin in a way no one else has, which is saying something considering some of the cocky bastards I’ve worked with over the years.” I take a sip of my coffee, emptying the cup, before returning it to the tray. “I tried to skirt the issue with Breck this week, but he insists Drew is just hard to get to know. It feels off though, the way he always gravitates toward Talia.”
“Yeah, I didn’t get any kind of good vibes from that guy. And you’re right, he is weird with Talia, Breck too, but more so with her.” She chews on her lip, and I can practically see the wheels turning.
“Exactly, and I get that working in close quarters is part of the job description since they’re business partners, but the door to Drew’s office is closed more than it’s open. Just him and Talia ensconced in there, alone.” My brow furrows. Saying all of this aloud only leaves me more confused. “And with Breck constantly out of the office, it just doesn’t feel right.”
I think of all the work Breck does, all the hats he wears. The last thing he needs is to be worrying about what’s going on back at the office. Not when he’s responsible for operations and setting up the logistics of all our tours: everything from surf trips to group tours of Sydney’s Olympic Park to private winery tastings .
“You don’t think there’s something going on between them—Drew and Talia I mean?” Joss’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts.
“God, I hope not. That would destroy Breck.” I shake my head. The idea of Talia cheating on Breck makes my skin crawl. “Maybe there’s something going on with the business.”
“Maybe… It’s odd that they’d exclude Breck for those meetings if so though.”
“Hm. Yeah.” I blow out a big breath, rolling my shoulders back and throwing an arm across the back of the sofa. My fingers lightly brush against her shoulder, eliciting a small shiver of awareness.
“Let’s talk about something else.” I say, veering away from Drew-related conversation. “So, ground rules, yeah?” Joss hums and a soft blush heats her cheeks as her glance moves to her lap. Bashful is a new look for her, and I like it.
“I texted my mom back last night after you left. Here, I’ll show you.” She reaches into her pocket and hands me her unlocked phone with the thread pulled up.
Joss
I’m not sure how you got my number, but if you insist on meeting Saturday, we can. You will need to find somewhere else to stay. My boyfriend isn’t comfortable having someone he doesn’t know stay in our home, and I agree. If Bill is with you, don’t bother coming.
Mom
Bill?
Oh, Bill! Yeah, no, he’s long gone. Please reconsider letting us stay with you. It’s so hard to find somewhere to stay in the city. I didn’t know you were living with someone, do tell.
I hate that she saved her mom’s number. I don’t think she deserves that courtesy after how she’s treated her daughter.
Joss
We won’t be reconsidering. We can meet for brunch at Opera Square.
Mom
Fine. You don’t have to talk to me like that. I am your mother. Regardless of how you feel about our past, I will always be your mother. Can’t we meet at your apartment? It will be more private that way. We just want to be with you.
“Well, shit, she sounds like a real treat, Joss. I can’t wait to meet her.” I let the sarcasm and disdain drip from every word. How did this person somehow produce the kind, beautiful, and adventurous woman sitting next to me?
“You’re sure you want to do this, Wes? I understand if you’d rather not be a part of this mess.”
Her eyes shift away from me while she fiddles with the hem of her shirt again. I’ve noticed she does this when she’s nervous or anxious. I don’t ever want her to be those things with me, so I reach across and fold my hand over hers.
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I repeat her words from last night, wanting to reassure her that nothing about her mother is going to scare me off.
“Okay. Well then, first things first. What do I do about where we meet? I don’t want them in my apartment; I’d rather not have to move again.” Her voice shakes. “She’s so stubborn though, and she’s going to keep pushing about meeting in private. God knows why.”
“We can do it here.” It’s out before I even think it all the way through, but it makes sense.
“What?” Shock is written all over her face.
“Yeah, even if she knows your address somehow, it’s only one off from mine. We can play it off like she got it wrong. We have them come here, that way your space remains safe but they feel like they’re winning with the private get-together.”
“Okay.” She drags out the word. “You’re sure? That’s a lot to ask of you.”
“Joss, I offered. You didn’t ask.”
She shifts, looking around the room, taking it in with different eyes, and nods.
“We’ll have to grab some of my stuff though, make it look more lived-in. You haven’t made any changes to the stock furniture and decor since you moved in, have you?”
The observation makes her look a little sad. Why would my not decorating make her sad?
“I haven’t had time, I guess,” I say with a shrug, my shoulder brushing hers with how closely we’re sitting now. “I’ve never been good at the whole decorating thing, and I’ve moved so much that I rarely put much effort into it. I just go to your place for that homey feeling anyway.”
Her smile comes back at this, and her eyes brighten. She must know that she’s what makes this place feel like home to me.
“Oh, okay then. I’ll still bring over some stuff to make it feel more homey .” She winks. “What’s our backstory going to be? You’ve only been here a few months; I don’t know how believable it will be to my mom that I moved in with someone so soon.”
“Maybe I’m just that good in bed.” It’s out before I can stop it, and since the damage is probably done, I wink and waggle my eyebrows at her for good measure. She bursts out laughing. “What? You don’t believe me? That hurts me, Joss.” I jut out my bottom lip, pouting.
“You stop that.” Her swat to my shoulder makes my smile reappear. “This is serious, Wes. She’ll know. She’s like a bloodhound, she’ll sniff out the lie if we don’t sell it properly, and I don’t want her knowing how much effort I’m putting into keeping her at arm’s length here. If she senses that weakness, she’ll exploit it.”
“You’re not weak, Grey. You’re protecting yourself. I promise I’m taking this seriously. I’ll be the best fake boyfriend you’ve ever had.”
“Easy title to achieve since you’re the only fake boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
“And I better be the last.” At my words, her eyebrows rise a little and I rush to cover for what just slipped out. “That was me showing you how possessive your fake boyfriend can be.” I send her another wink, and her eyebrows relax .
I wasn’t saying I want to be the last boyfriend she’ll ever have—I don’t think. Her home is in freaking Australia. My home is… where?
Nope, not going there. Those thoughts need to go somewhere else to be dealt with—well, probably never, but definitely not right now.
“She doesn’t need to know I’ve only been here a few months. We can fudge the timeline a little. We can keep how we met the same. It’s such a great story after all.” I bump her shoulder with mine. “One for the grandkids, am I right? But we just make out that it happened, what? Six months ago? A year? What do you think she’ll believe?”
“Split the difference, nine months? We’ve been living together for three. We can skip the part about us being neighbors first, yeah?” Her body relaxes with each detail as they fall into place.
“Sounds good.” I nod, watching her intently, enjoying the warmth of her body where it presses against the side of mine.
“Ground rules. I want us to still be able to look at each other after this, so we’ll need to make sure we don’t cross any lines that might affect our friendship. Maybe something similar to our date night with Jaz?” She swallows, and I watch her throat bob. It’s like she really had to work to get those words out. Her cheeks are pink and she looks uncomfortable. She turns so her back is pressed into the arm of the couch and her knees are pulled in tight to her chest, her toes skimming my thigh.
“Well”—I up the flirtation in my tone—“if we’re living together, she’ll assume we’re sleeping together.” The pink flames to a bright red, but she doesn’t look away as I continue. “That obviously won’t be happening while she’s here, but we need to be comfortable touching each other. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a pretty physical guy. Maybe not as much as Breck, but um, yeah. I’m going to need you to spell out what those boundaries are for you. Because I’m not going to lie, if you were mine, I’d probably be all over you all the time.”
There’s that word again. Mine . Fuck.
The blush moves down her neck and I reach over to feel it as it warms her skin. Her eyes are focused on mine and that electric pull between us has my heart pounding in my chest. She’s barely breathing as I touch her, like she’s unsure of what I might do next.
Instead of letting go and allowing her to lead this conversation, I shift on the couch so I’m facing her. My shin presses over her feet and I leave my left hand resting on her neck, my thumb on her cheek.
“Is touching you like this okay?” I ask, and it comes out more ragged and gravelly than I intended, but I’m not in control of much right now.
She nods, like she can’t quite form words. Me too, Joss, me too. But I find a way to get them out as I continue. “Holding hands, yeah?” I slide my arm from the back of the couch, trailing it down hers to interlace our fingers.
“Mm-hmm, yeah.” Her thumb coasts over the back of my hand, and it’s like a live wire brushed my skin.
I bring her hand up, turning it in mine as I press my lips to the underside of her wrist. “What about kissing, Joss?” I bring my eyes back to hers, watching them darken slightly at my words. Good. She is just as affected by our proximity as I am. Whether it’s a good thing or not, I’m not actually sure, but I’m sure as hell not going to stop. I can’t.
“Um—I-I don’t know,” she stutters out, but it’s barely a whisper .
“What aren’t you sure about? Tell me what you’re thinking in that pretty head of yours.” I let my hand fall farther down her neck so my thumb can coast over her pulse point. It’s fast and erratic, just like mine.
“I just… What if kissing is too much? I don’t want to jeopardize what we have, our friendship, for a stupid lie. We’re too important.”
Her eyes are closed now, and I can sense her fear. I’m scared too, but I also haven’t felt this alive in a long time.
“Joss, there isn’t a single thing that could jeopardize that, I promise you.”
She still has her eyes closed, like she’s not sure what she might see in mine if she opens them.
“Look at me, Joss. Please.” I need those grey eyes boring into mine. “I am not going anywhere. Whether you let me kiss you or not, whether your mom is a raging bitch or not, whether this ruse succeeds or not… I will still be here at the end of the day. You’re the closest friend I’ve had in a long time—maybe even more than Breck. I’m not letting anything ruin this, Joss.”
She lets out a little laugh, and I think I’ve finally gotten through to her. Saying the words out loud helps me to believe them too. She rubs her thumb across the back of my hand again. “I didn’t figure you and Breck ever got this close.”
My laugh is unfettered, my shoulders shaking with it. I love that she can somehow crack a joke at a time like this. She always knows just what to say to make me smile.
“No, we’ve definitely never been this close.” I wrap my fingers around her nape and pull her closer to emphasize the point. “You didn’t answer my question. ”
I’m holding her churning grey gaze with my blue one. I wish so badly I could hear her thoughts.
“Can. I. Kiss. You?” I let the words sink into the space between us. Her eyes dart to my mouth then back up to meet mine.
“Yes.”
Her tongue darts out, wetting her lips, and it’s almost my undoing… But I need to be sure.
I watch her roll her bottom lip between her teeth.
“Right now?” I drag my eyes from her mouth to look her dead in the eyes, knowing it’s there that I’ll see her answer. I don’t want our first kiss to be in front of her mother, and I can’t think of a single valid reason to keep from kissing her right now. Another drag of my thumb over that pulse point, and I’m holding on by a thread. Those mercury pools swirl with want as she says the two words I need to hear.
“Yes. Please.”
It’s all I need to close the inches between us and press my lips to hers.
Finally.