Chapter 27
LINDY
I didn’t build a berm when we went to sleep. If I was a more fanciful, complicated writer, I’d think of the berm as some kind of metaphor for my resistance to Dex. As soon as I gave in to the idea of a fling, the berm disappeared.
My emotional berm was gone. It was oddly liberating.
Had I been so controlling over what I wanted that I ignored the here and now? Was I looking to the future and not enjoying the present?
The answer was definitely yes, but with a big asterisk.
I was enjoying the now, knowing that it was temporary.
That I’d deal with the emotional fallout later, because there would be one.
I’d been able to miss everything about the hockey world until now, but I had a feeling I’d be seeing Dex everywhere.
With a town like Hunter Valley thinking we were dating, or even living together as Aspen mentioned, there were going to be questions.
I wasn’t the only one who was going to be disappointed Dex left. The entire flipping town was going to miss him.
But that was later. I was in fling-time and people in flings were carefree and orgasm-sated. That was me. All week.
Tuesday morning, I woke on top of Dex. Then I was on top of Dex. Riding him. I skipped my yoga workout for a much more pleasurable kind. There was still a lot of deep breathing and panting. And sweating. And being bent into lots of weird positions.
Wednesday morning, I woke with Dex’s head between my thighs, licking me to orgasm. I was late for work, and I didn’t even panic because I was too satisfied to really care.
Thursday morning, I woke to him behind me, but he pushed me onto my stomach and took me from behind. I skipped yoga. Again. Aspen would understand.
Friday morning, I woke to him packing.
“Where are you going?” I asked, my voice soft as I wrapped around my arms around my pillow.
“Finland,” he said, tossing some gym socks into a duffel.
I sat up, adjusting the strap on my nightie.
For some reason, Dex didn’t want me naked in his bed while we slept.
He liked the little outfits I wore, found them sexy.
He didn’t take them off me when he fucked me, and I felt…
ravaged. At first, I felt like he didn’t want to see me naked, but he saw everything anyway.
It was often gathered around my waist as we fucked, as if he couldn’t wait another second for me to take it off for him to be in me.
“Finland? Why?”
“Exhibition game on Sunday.”
“Exhibition game. That means you’re playing a hockey game for fun… in Finland.”
He looked up, gave me a smile. Outside of the photos online, he was dressed in the nicest clothes yet. Dress pants and a button up shirt. He looked hot. Or I was in withdrawal from lack of morning sex. “Pretty much.”
“In Finland? Can’t you do it somewhere closer?”
He shrugged. “I’ve done one in Orlando. Edmonton. Stockholm. The best players in the league are invited to play. It’s a special game that fans love, especially in the off season. The advertisers do too because it makes them a lot of money. It’s in all players’ contracts to participate if chosen.”
“From all the fans.”
“Right.”
“The league is showing you off.”
He full out grinned now. “Pretty much.”
“That’s cool you’re invited. You’re special.”
He came around the bed, sat on the edge, stroked my hair back. “All I care about is if you think I’m special.”
When he said things like that, when he touched me gently and almost reverently, it made that berm I carefully built around my heart begin to weaken.
“How long will you be gone?” Did I sound needy and clingy because I felt it. A few days in his bed without a berm and I craved him.
This was a problem.
“I have a meeting later this morning with a potential sponsor in Chicago. OutdoorNow wants me to be their spokesperson.”
“OutdoorNow? Wow. That’s… wow.” It was the biggest outdoor company around. That they wanted Dex to represent them was really cool. Daunting. A little crazy. I could feel the excitement in him for it.
“Do they want you to model in your underwear?” I teased.
“Only for you, sugar. I don’t have the deal yet. After the meeting, I’m on the overnight flight to Finland. I’ll be back on Monday night.”
Monday. As in three days from now. I felt a pang of loneliness, of missing him, and he was right here.
He was leaving. Just as I told Bridget and Aspen he would.
“Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”
“Sugar, in the mornings, you’ve had my mouth too busy to tell you. Then you work all day and I’ve been coaching while you’re writing at night.”
It was true. We’ve been busy. Once word spread that Dex had coached Aspen’s Polar Bears and had been swayed to help with the boys’ team after, all the kid teams wanted him to help out and he didn’t say no. He was there from three until after nine ever since.
“This isn’t me giving you updates on my house construction,” I reminded. “It’s Finland, not Fargo.”
His shoulders drooped and he gave me a slightly sheepish look. “Okay. Right, I’m sorry. I pushed it off because I want to be here with you with nothing else in the way. Besides, you’re keeping your writing a secret.”
“I told you about it,” I countered. “And I don’t do that work from Finland.”
He gave me a look for that added sass on the end. “You’re still not letting me read it.”
“No way.” The latest book was hotter and more intense than the others I wrote.
I was happy with what I typed, but what would Dex think?
He said I was a bad girl, but that was all part of sexy times.
I was so far from bad that it was ridiculous.
Besides, it didn’t matter if I shared my latest story with him or not.
He was going to Finland. And then back to Denver and all the trips that went with the hockey season.
Why should I show him my story if he wasn’t sticking?
“You’ll be back in Hunter Valley, on Monday, or Denver?”
“Here. In this bed with you.” He patted the empty spot beside me.
I flushed thinking of all the things we’ve done in this bed.
He sighed. “I’ve got to go. Plane’s waiting. It’s still early so go back to sleep.”
He leaned in, kissed me, but I turned my head away. “Dex! No! I’ve got horrible morning breath.” While his smelled minty fresh.
He laughed, then kissed my forehead.
“I’ll call you from Finland. Be good. You can be bad when I get back.”