Chapter 4 #2
“I didn’t even know Theo moved into town until I was sitting in a paper gown.
Also, because I have no clue what I’m doing,” I reminded.
“You think a guy like Theo wants a clueless woman in his bed? I need experience. Skills. Talent. Besides Mr. History Guy, I’m going to Las Vegas for that bachelorette party. You remember I told you about it.”
“Right, your friend Alana from college.”
While Bridge went to MIT on a full ride, I went to a state school.
I’d had a few small scholarships that cut down the tuition, plus I did work study to cover some more.
Even after eating ramen and taking classes over the summer to be done in three years instead of four, I still had student loans.
I barely had enough to scrape up money for a ticket to Vegas.
I nodded. “Vegas is the place to do crazy things. I mean, Lindy and Dex got married at a drive thru chapel and don’t remember it.”
“There’s a big difference between what they did and you hooking up with a stranger in Sin City.”
“I know, but I want to be prepared. If I’m going to have sex with Mr. History Guy—”
“His name is Tom. You make him sound like he’s seventy and teaches kids cool historical facts on a community TV program.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Tom. If I’m going to do it with him, why can’t I do it with a guy in Vegas?”
She reached out, gave my hand a squeeze. “You can. You’ll have guys in Vegas eating out of your hand.”
“I have other places on my body I’d rather them eating out.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “Well, don’t get arrested, whatever you do.”
I sputtered, which had her looking at me again. “I can’t believe you think I’d get arrested.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes.
“What? I’m not that wild and crazy.” I leaned in. “I’ve been saving it up for Tom, a high school history teacher. How exciting is that?”
She wagged her head from side to side as if considering my words more than required. “You’ve been saving it up for Theo since you first saw his picture. But Tom’s okay. He’s actually pretty hot. Not James brothers hot, but he’ll do.”
That made me frown. “Yeah, a James brother doesn’t even want to see my untalented vagina.”
She pushed her glasses up, then narrowed her eyes. With a swivel in her seat, she called, “Otis!”
I watched as he held his hands up for the pizza dough he tossed in the air, catching it deftly so it wilted down past his wrists, then flung it again. “Yeah?”
“A large with olives and triple cheese.”
“On it,” he called.
A few other tables were occupied, but there was nothing new about the casual environment. Bridget shouting her order was normal.
Bridge looked to me, her eyes large behind her glasses. “You are always so hard on yourself.”
“Me? I’m hard on myself?” I countered.
“We’re talking about you. Guys are not looking for talented vaginas. You’re making them out to be way smarter than they really are.”
“Vaginas?”
“Men.”
Otis brought over plates, silverware, and napkins.
“Otis, you’re a guy,” I said.
He was older than us. Cute. I’d date him if he didn’t seem like a brother since he was good friends with my brother, Arlo.
“I’m glad you noticed.” He inhaled, puffing up his chest beneath the pizza place t-shirt.
“And single,” I added.
He took a step back and held his palms out, glancing between us. “Whoa, Bridge is taken. Very taken. Have you seen her man? He’s a fucking lumberjack. And you’re… well, you’re you. No way are we dating.”
I frowned. “If I didn’t think of you as a weird brother, I’d be insulted.”
He huffed and dropped his hands. “What’s the question? I know you’ve got one.”
“Are you looking for talent in a vagina?”
His dark eyebrows rose so far, they were hidden by his unruly hair. “What the hell does that mean?”
“If you started dating a woman and found out she didn’t have lots of experience in bed, would that be an issue for you?”
“Is she legal?”
We both frowned and said, “YES!”
“Then no. I’m not looking for a talented vagina. It’s fun to see what a woman finds hot. What makes her get all–”
Now it was my turn to hold up my hand to stop him. “Okay, we get the idea. Stop there before I get too nauseated imagining you having sex to eat our pizza that better be in the oven.”
His hand went to his chest. “I’m not that bad.”
“Do you want us to talk about Aspen’s sex life?”
He shivered, just like any brother would. “Fuck no.”
“Fine. So no talent needed. Thanks.”
He nodded, then once again backed away slowly and carefully.
“See?” Bridge asked, which was totally annoying.
“I’m getting birth control and getting laid.”
“I get all that, but why now? Why all of a sudden? You’ve been all hot and bothered for Theo for months.”
I wasn’t going to tell her there’d been a wet spot on the back of my paper gown when I got up to get redressed earlier. I was hot for Theo James. H.O.T.
That was when I thought he didn’t live in town. Now? I could run into him anywhere, anytime.
“Me and my vagina aren’t sitting around waiting for a guy like him to notice me. I was naked, Bridge, and he turned me down.”
“Okay, what you’re suggesting is a little creepy if I think about it a little too long.”
“What you’re saying is if you think about it a little less, it’s kinda hot.”
She looked away because she was right there with me. “Fine, but he didn’t turn you down. He was working.”
I shrugged. “I’m horny, Bridge. I want sex. I’ve earned it.”
“I agree. So have it with Theo. Not on an exam table. You know, the guy you’re going to marry.”
I shrugged and waved my hand through the air to try to downplay the fact that she mentioned that three times. Maybe I’d overdone it in the past few months. He was gorgeous and up close, in person, gah. I melted. My brain turned to mush or baked beans or something.
“It’s just talk and no one woman wants to have an ugly vagina. Obviously. You know me, gab, gab, gab.”
Yes, I wanted him, and I lusted after him. Did I ever really think he’d want me? No. But Bridge knew I was a big blabbermouth and usually just smiled and nodded like I did with my first graders when one told me she wanted to be an ant so she could carry things over ten times their body weight.
Sure, it was one thing to want Theo and feel hurt when he referred me to a gynecologist, as weird as all that sounded; if I didn’t have those baked beans for brains, I’d see that it was the proper response.
It was another thing to actually marry the guy. I learned from my parents not to expect much. I’d been emotionally hurt by them often enough to know better. That a guy like Theo wouldn’t love me. It was easier just to be casual, to talk a big game and sleep with Tom the History Teacher.
Dr. Theo James was in a completely different league. He had it all. Brains, brawn, beauty, and billions. And most likely a big dick.
She studied me. “You sure, because I saw him with his beard and he’s really hot. Don’t tell Mav.”
I rolled my eyes. Like Maverick James would feel threatened by any man, even his brother.
I played it off even more. “Seriously, I want to take something for a ride besides my vibrator and Tom’s not a bad option.”
The history teacher would do.
“I’m not looking for roses and candlelight, Bridge. I’m also tired of waiting. It’s happening. I want up against the wall kind of sex. Maybe bent over a couch or something. I’m twenty-four. It’s time.”
“But Theo–”
I cut her off. “You can’t set me up with Tom and then be Team Theo. It’s just sex, Bridge. So shut up and go get our pizza.”