Chapter 5
MELLY
“I’m being ridiculous,” I said to Fred as I drove home.
She sat in the passenger seat, eyeing me, listening intently.
“I’ll never see Daniel again so these crazy feelings?
Irrelevant. Drinks with Mallory? Not necessary.
I just need some time with that new book I snagged from the romance section and my favorite vibrator. A few orgasms and I’ll be fine.”
I left work at the usual time and went to go to the grocery store.
I knew the owner so Fred hung out behind the customer service counter while I shopped instead of waiting in the car.
In the winter, it was often too cold and, in the summer, the opposite.
She knew they had treats and was always more eager than me for my weekly shopping.
I knew the aisle layout and food placement and hated when they rearranged.
With my list, I was in and out within twenty minutes with my loaded cloth bags–since I was wise to single-use plastic.
With my full fridge, this was the night I usually meal-prepped for the week, putting together dinners and lunches that were ready to go, only needing to be heated in the microwave or baked in the oven.
I would change into my comfy sweats and put on some music and cook.
But Mallory’s forced night out changed my whole routine.
There would be no going braless or sloppy bun tonight for me.
“I made it twenty-four years in this town not laying eyes on him and now he, in all his lumberjack ruggedness, is in my finger vault.” I stopped at the intersection, looked both ways, then turned down my street. “I don’t need to see–”
I snapped my mouth shut as I slammed on my brakes harder than necessary because… yeah.
Daniel Pearson was sitting on my stoop, elbows resting on his knees.
Waiting for me.
My heart pounded and all of a sudden I was hot in my winter coat.
Earl, the horndog, sat beside him and perked up at the sound of my car.
I parked in front of a big pickup truck on the street–the driveway was out since it was half dug up. It had to be Daniel’s because it was as supersized as he was.
Shit.
Shit!
What was he doing here?
I looked in the rearview mirror to see what I looked like, my vanity making me do so. Who was I kidding? I looked like me, without lip gloss.
I took a deep breath because he was watching. I could feel the intensity of those dark eyes from twenty feet away.
Climbing from the car, I went around and let Fred out of the passenger side, where she trotted across the grass and then squatted to pee.
Earl lumbered over, his tail wagging. Fred faced him and, if she had much of a tail, it would be wagging, too.
Instead, her entire back half swayed back and forth.
Daniel stood and came over. The closer he got, the more I had to tip my head back.
“Hello. Um… what are you doing here?” I asked. Daylight was barely hanging on, and it would be dark soon. And colder.
“I want a paternity test,” he announced.
I blinked. “What?”
“You’ve met Earl?” He pointed to the huge dog that circled Fred. He dropped on his haunches and offered her a playful bark, then leaped around her.
“Of course. Daniel walks him this way.” I pointed down the street.
“To keep things… us straight, call him Danny. And yes. That dog.” He pointed to Earl who was sniffing the frozen grass in a line toward the mailbox as if he was a hound.
A string of slobber dangled from his jowls.
“The one who got Fred knocked up.” He tipped his head down to Fred who was sniffing around his ankles.
She didn’t seem too keen on Earl, or she was playing hard to get, which I thought was a little late.
“How do you think they pulled it off?” he asked.
“What, sex?”
“Yes. He’s a Bull Mastiff.”
“Okay. Um, snuck in the backyard, I guess.”
He shook his head. “Not where, but how. It can’t work.”
I blinked. “You mean he’s neutered?”
I hadn’t really looked to see if Earl still had his balls, and I wasn’t planning on checking right now.
He winced. “No. I mean, he’s big. She’s little.” He ran a hand over his hair. In the fading sunlight, it wasn’t as dark as it seemed in the vet office. More a mahogany than black, with hints of silver at the temples. And the beard… it had a tinge of red in it.
“Does it work for you?” I asked.
His eyebrows went up, then blinked at the unexpectedness of my question. “What?”
“Sex. I mean… you’re big.” Oh my God. Did I just ask him that?
“Always,” he admitted with a heavy dose of confidence. He even rolled his shoulders back in a way that said without words he was virile and potent.
“You’re saying that because you’re big you can’t have sex with someone who’s small? I mean, you’re very big.”
He grinned. “Very.”
I blushed because he was inferring everywhere.
“I’m sure it’s possible,” I added, because I’d never heard of sex not working because of size incompatibility. I didn’t have any personal experience, but I researched.
His gaze raked over me again, just like in the vet office. Thoroughly, slowly, and from head to toe.
“It’s definitely possible,” he confirmed.
Gah. He was talking about the two of us now, not dogs.
“Lots of ways to do it,” he added, in case I had any doubt.
“Oh, so dogs do it all kinds of ways? I may have missed that animal documentary on canine reverse cowgirl.”
His mouth fell open in something akin to awe. Or surprise at my sarcasm and momentary sass. I kind of surprised myself, as well. The corner of his mouth tipped up.
“You came over and waited on my stoop because you think I’m lying about Earl getting together with Fred.” Fred barked once, as if she knew we were talking about her, then lay down. I wanted to make sure I had this right. “How do you even know where I live?”
“I have my ways,” he replied vaguely, then pointed at the chunks of concrete driveway.
Oh. I set my hands on my hips. “You think I’m trying to… to trap him? Earl?”
He ran fingers over his beard, suddenly uncomfortable. Was that the reason he came here? It seemed unlikely. Ridiculous, definitely.
“Or do you still think, even after the vet’s office earlier, I was trying to trap you?” I added.
Now he looked really uncomfortable. I had my answer.
“You did,” I said, shaking my head. “You misinterpreted the messages and you thought I accused you of getting me pregnant on purpose, even though we’ve never met.”
He shook his head. “No. Yes. No.”
“Which is it?”
He sighed, looked at the sky, his boots, then finally at me. “I did. At first. When I got the messages, yes. Definitely. Then I saw you and changed my mind.”
Oh. My shoulders dropped and my anger bled away. Of course. “Right. One look at me and there was no way you’d have taken me to bed. Not me.”
Sure, my master plan was to steer clear of men, especially older ones who might hurt me.
Perhaps not physically, but with a toss-aside, one-and-done attitude.
I didn’t have a carefree perspective on sex or relationships.
It was easier to never get involved than to be hurt.
Because if my father never loved or wanted me and my mother loved everyone with the same casual association as she did her own daughter, then I wasn’t worth anything permanent. Or for them to stick around.
Sex didn’t have to mean forever, but it had to mean something.
What hurt from Daniel’s words wasn’t that I shut myself off from any kind of relationship with a man, but that I wasn’t wanted in the first place. That I wasn’t worthy.
He sighed, ran a hand down his face and for the first time, his growly demeanor slipped. He eyed me with something akin to horror or panic.
Even worse.
“No. Fuck no.” His voice was still deep and rumbly but came out soft. “That’s not it. Shit, I’ve messed this all up. I didn’t mean… Look–”
“Give me Danny’s number,” I snapped. It was one thing to know I had no chance with a guy like him, but to have him say it to my face was another.
As I fished in my purse for my cell, I continued, “I’ll call and leave him a message about all this on his cell instead of at the tree service office.
You’re not responsible. You never were.”
I wished I knew that Danny had been out of town. He hadn’t answered his door a few weeks ago when I found out Fred was pregnant, and I never got his cell number. We always talked in person. If I had, I’d have never met Daniel and he wouldn’t… be repulsed by me.
I reached my arm out and waved my cell at him until he took it. Using his big thumbs, he jabbed at the screen. “I want to be responsible, Melly. I’ve fucked this all up. I’m putting in my number because I have no idea when Danny will be back.”
Earl returned from his exploring and approached Fred.
Again, they circled each other doing the usual dog get-to-know-you sniffs.
Then, in a big dog/little dog way and without any foreplay, he mounted Fred and started humping her.
Daniel sure as hell was wrong. The size difference didn’t matter.
Fred spun around and snapped at him, making Earl jump back.
“Call me if–” Daniel froze, mid-thumb press and looked down because Earl had given up on Fred and moved to Daniel’s leg. “Earl!”
“Still want that paternity test?” I asked, smirking and giving him the mental middle finger.