Chapter 36
GEORGIA
I parked my car on the street in front of Mac’s house and walked up the driveway. It was dark and I could see inside. The lower level was lit and I stopped at the base of the stairs to my little apartment and looked through the kitchen window.
There was Mac at the counter, flipping open the lid on a pizza box. Andy was jumping up and down, waving napkins in the air. Drew was there, too, saying something I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t miss their smiles and the way they interacted. It made me smile myself to watch.
While the dynamic wasn’t part of a Norman Rockwell painting, they were a family. Three generations of men. They were a unit. They loved each other just the way they were.
That had my smile slipping and even in all the thick, cozy layers of down and fleece, I was chilled. I looked up at the pitch-black sky, wondered all of sudden what the hell I was doing here. Standing and watching a family in their happiness while I was all alone.
I’d never felt so lonely than in that moment, seeing what I always wanted but could never have. I was shut out, literally, in the cold. What I saw was something I could only see and long for, but nothing more.
I was the no strings woman who’d leave Montana and Mac’s life would be less crazy.
He was right when he said he didn’t want to start something with me.
I was leaving. When the fundraiser was finished, and at the rate it was progressing, the end of next week.
I’d be back in Calhan as a pageant coach.
Back to listening to Sassy talk about her perfect children.
I’d hear about Art and his new wife and his soon-to-arrive child.
To Momma pointing out what I had and gave up.
What I’d never have now.
Maybe I’d be hired on in Denver at James Corp headquarters. Hopefully, this contract job was a test. But even if I succeeded, I wouldn’t be staying here.
While the MacKenzies had welcomed me into their home, I wasn’t family and never would be.
Fooling around with Mac was fine, but this?
Seeing them tucked warm and safe in their kitchen with pizza and laughter and love?
It was too much. It was best to remember that now.
To protect my heart from a little boy’s toothless grin.
From a kindhearted older man. From a sexy, protective firefighter.
I climbed the steps, saw the note tucked into the door that invited me to join them for pizza. I stared up at the night again, swallowed hard. They didn’t know it, but their invitation was cruel. A tease.
Because I failed at no strings. Sure, when I told Mac “just sex,” I’d believed it then. I’d never done a casual thing before, always being in some kind of relationship. Or I caught feelings when there really wasn’t any.
Like now. I was catching feelings not just for Mac but his family. His life.
Why couldn’t Mac have been just a guy I fucked? Nothing more.
But no. He had to have the perfect house. Perfect son. Perfect dad. Live in a perfect town with perfect… Yeah, everything was perfect.
Except for me.
With one last glance down to the family who was now eating at their kitchen table, I turned and went into the apartment, leaving the lights out.
I didn’t want Andy to notice I was home and come up. Sure, they’d see my car out front, but hopefully assume maybe I got picked up and was out somewhere. Or asleep.
I stripped off my outerwear and slid to the floor, my back against the door.
I dialed Keely.
“I’m in trouble, K,” I said when she answered.
“Tell me.”
So I did. I pretty much vomited everything that happened since I arrived.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Fireman Mac Hotstuff before now? You’re pretty much staying at his house and didn’t share?”
I rolled my eyes. “He’s always grumpy with me. Growling, like I pissed him off. Especially over the calendar.”
“Is he actually angry at you?” she asked. “I mean, he’s not going around badmouthing you and your work just because he doesn’t want to be Mr. January, is he?”
“No. He’s… grudgingly going along with it and at the meeting this morning, said he liked what I’d done. But he doesn’t have any choice. The others want the calendar so unless he wanted to be an asshole, which he’s not, he has to be for it.”
“Oh, I bet he has a choice but secretly knows your idea’s a good one. So jerk or not?”
“Not a jerk,” I told her immediately. He was a nice guy. “He’s… sweet, but don’t tell him that. I mean, he calls me gorgeous. He bought me boots. Was going to drive me around today if the roads weren’t clear.”
“Ate you out like it’s an Olympic sport,” she added.
That made me smile because yeah, he had talent. “That, too. And got me off in his office at the fire station.”
“That’s really freaking hot. So he’s a good guy. And dirty.”
“He has a mustache,” I added, as if that explained everything.
“Holy shit, woman. I’m fanning myself. But I haven’t figured out why you say you’re in trouble.”
I sighed and rubbed a hand over my forehead. “Because I’ve been here four days and while we agreed to no strings, I’m falling for him. And his family.”
And this cute little apartment. And what Mac and I did in that bed.
“Oh.” She knew I wanted a child of my own.
That a hot guy with a magical tongue was easier to find than a guy who liked and wanted a kid, or already had one.
Mac was amazing with Andy. Dedicated. Hell, the boy was his nephew and not that he shouldn’t treat him like his own, but he was committed to raising him up right.
“Yeah, oh.”
We said our goodbyes because what else was there to say?
Next, I texted Bradley who needed to help me out. Somehow, he got me into this mess.
Get me a room at the James Inn. Now.
If I was just a no strings woman, then I needed to be out of their backyard and not invited in for pizza. I needed to protect myself. Coming to Hunter Valley was supposed to get me away from my troubles, not make more. A minute later, he texted back.
Room 204