Chapter 44
ASPEN
“Let me get this straight,” Mallory said.
I was at Mallory and Theo’s house, and I was being interrogated about the past few days. Years, actually. She should have skipped teaching and gone and joined the police force with our friend, Hunter. They’d listened as I explained the bulk of my life.
“Luke gave you fifty thousand dollars to pay off that dumbass ex, Duncan, because you buried his engagement ring in the woods and have to give it back but can’t find it so you were Luke’s fake girlfriend so you could fix Luke’s social media image so he could get a film role by having you connect him to your mother who is a senator. ”
I nodded at her concise, but run-on sentence. “Plus, he intentionally came to Hunter Valley and that bar to meet up with me specifically to gain access to my mother,” I added.
That was what kept me awake all night. Had anything we’d done been real? His dick had been hard for me, no question. A guy couldn’t fake that. But men weren’t very discriminate where they stuck their dicks, so I had to wonder if seducing me was part of it all.
I had witnessed a number of his sex scenes in that first season of NYC ER we’d binged.
Mallory and Theo were on their sofa, and I sat across from them.
Their little house didn’t have room for a ton of furniture, but what they did have was really comfortable.
I’d gotten the last flight into Bozeman the night before and had bummed a ride to Hunter Valley off of a couple on the plane who were spending a week at the resort to downhill mountain bike.
Maybe a dumb idea, but what was one more?
Luke had texted and called a bunch of times, but I ignored all of them, then blocked his number.
“I can’t believe your mother is a senator,” she said, shaking her head. “I’ve known you all these years and I never knew. You don’t even have the same last name.”
I felt contrite and it was hard to look my good friend in the eye. “I’m sorry for not telling you. I really am, Mal, but my parents and I don’t talk,” I explained. “They’re not just a sore spot, but pretty much the basis for all the reasons I’m so fucked up.”
She reached out, took my hand. “You’re not fucked up.”
I sighed. “Yeah, I am. Yes, having a mother who is a senator is a big deal. To me, it’s not. To me, it’s what makes her a total bitch. Then with Duncan…” I sighed. “I didn’t tell you about burying the ring because I was embarrassed, I fell for a guy who wanted my mother.”
“Okay, that’s creepy as fuck,” Theo mentioned.
“Yeah, well, it’s the truth, but not in that way,” I admitted.
“Well, maybe. Who knows. My mother expected me to be perfect in order to get praise and affection. So when I messed up, I was shamed. So I kept my mistakes to myself. Duncan just became something I didn’t talk about because I felt…
still feel, stupid over falling for him and his lies.
Me keeping secrets has nothing to do with you, or Bridget or our friendship. ”
“Who is this guy?” Theo asked. I forgot he hadn’t been here back then to remember like Mallory had.
“Duncan Pounder. A guy I dated two years ago,” I explained.
“You dated a guy named Pounder?”
That made my lips twitch. “Yeah. I thought I’d spend my life with him. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes. Then I found out he wanted me for access to my mother. So I dumped him.”
“You do realize your name would have been Aspen Pounder. If you were a middle school boy, it would be shortened to Ass Pounder.”
Mallory stared at Theo, eyes wide, mouth open. They she burst out laughing.
I couldn’t help it either because I never thought of it.
“You dumped him and buried his ring in the woods,” Mallory added, when she caught her breath. “Devious. I’d have gone with you.”
“I saw it as cleansing, something I had to do for myself… and a bottle of wine.”
“You didn’t love that guy,” Mallory told me. “I don’t even think you cried. You were angry, but now I know why. Your parents are assholes,” Mallory said, frowning.
I laughed again. “They really are. I saw them last night at this party. The first time in ten years.”
“My father cheated on my mother with any woman who would have him. The younger, the better. He was an asshole. Top that,” Theo said, as if making it a challenge.
“My father, too, but my mother is fine with it. It keeps him busy and out of her way. My mother expects perfection.”
“Says the woman whose husband cheats,” Mallory muttered.
“When I was six, I took a ballet class and liked it. So I took it all the time. When I didn’t get cast in the Nutcracker that first winter, I had a ballet tutor and went to class twice as much.
When I got the starring role the next year, at least for a seven-year-old, I got praised.
So I practiced harder to get more. When I was eleven, I was shipped to dance boarding school in Canada. ”
“That sounds… intense,” Theo commented.
“It was. If I didn’t do well enough to please my mother, I didn’t come home. See? Perfection and affection went hand-in-hand. I practiced twice as hard. When I graduated, I ended up being hired in Spain as a soloist.”
Mallory and Theo looked at each other. “That’s amazing.”
“Yeah, until I blew it and got pregnant by mistake. I had to quit. My parents cut me off. Cut me out of their lives because a single mother in the family? A failure at ballet? They couldn’t have it.”
“Jesus,” Mallory said.
“I came here. Started over. Legally changed my last name because I didn’t want Sierra to have any connection to the Bergstroms.”
“Why not keep at ballet after Sierra was born?”
“I lost my spot, and the lifestyle isn’t for a single parent with a baby. The schedule was grueling and there was a lot of travel. I walked away for her.”
“Why not keep doing it? I mean, a soloist? You must be so talented. Why haven’t we heard of you? Oh yeah, you changed your name.”
I shrugged. “I practice on my own, but that’s not my life now. I look back on it and it’s tainted. While I love to dance, I became really good because I wanted my parents’ affection.”
“Which never came.”
“Theo,” Mallory scolded, elbowing him.
“My father never loved me no matter what I did,” he said, looking to Mallory, then me. “I became a trauma surgeon and saved lives and he was disappointed I didn’t go into the family business. You have to let that shit go.”
I shrugged. “I did. Well, I thought I did.”
“Until the Duncan ring debacle,” Mallory said.
“Yeah, and now I owe him a shit ton of money.”
“You said Luke gave you the money to pay him off.”
“He did, but I’d rather wander the woods in Hunter Valley looking for a bulldog rock that probably didn’t exist and go into epic debt than to take Luke’s–no, Derek Dashwood’s–money.
” I laughed. “That’s why this morning, first thing, I went to the bank and got a cashier’s check for it and took it right to the winter sports complex and donated it to the hockey program for scholarships.
” Sighing, I admitted, “I messed up. Not only with Duncan, but with Luke.”
“Because he also wanted you for access to your mother,” Theo said.
I shrugged, feeling that usual embarrassment all over again.
“I know, right? I was stupid with Duncan, but you’re right, I never loved him.
I just wanted the security I thought he would offer.
But Luke? I fell for him. Just him. I really, really like him.
Probably even love him if I knew what the hell that was.
I’m used to being used and I knew going in this was fake.
Until it wasn’t. Turns out, it hadn’t been fake, but planned all along. ”
“I think he fell for you, too.” When I gave her a look, she pushed on. “I’ve been watching his social media. Have you seen what he posted of you two?”
I shook my head. “I don’t look at that stuff.”
“Well, it’s all really romantic and sexy and the guy was into you.”
Waving my hand, I shook my head. “It’s all fake.”
“Well, he had me fooled. You need to steer clear of shitty people,” Mallory said, as if it was simple. “We know your worth and value. It’s not transactional.”
“She’s right. Love doesn’t keep score or have value. Trust me on this,” Theo advised.
“Because you’re a doctor?”
“Because I was an idiot.”
“He bought me this house,” Mallory explained, leaning in and kissing Theo’s cheek. “Instead of giving me his heart.”
Wow. Okay.
“I pulled my head out of my ass eventually,” Theo said, pulling Mallory into his side and kissing the top of her head. “I told Luke if he fucked up, I’d kill him and put him through the Pearson Tree Service’s woodchipper.”
“Evil. I like it,” Mallory said, grinning.
“He comes back, he’ll answer to me.” This grumpy guy was protective. And it made me smile.
“He got what he wanted. I’m sure he’s already on the movie set somewhere,” I said, sad and wistful. And pissed. The woodchipper idea sounded like a good one though.
“Then let’s get this Pounder asshole out of your life, too. Sounds like we need to organize a hike in the woods,” Theo said. “I hear there’s a bulldog rock that’s worth finding.”
Mallory’s cell rang and she grabbed it off the coffee table. “It’s Georgia.”
Theo and I listened as Mallory replied to whatever Georgia was saying. “Oh no. Really? Tomorrow?”
“Is she okay?” Theo asked her and I remembered she was pregnant.
Mallory pulled the phone from her ear. “The Cowboy Goes A Courtin’ live show is tomorrow night and the bachelorette has appendicitis and is having emergency surgery right now. Georgia’s new in town and doesn’t know people like I do. She needs my help to find a single woman to take her place.”
Theo and Mallory stared at each other for a second, then turned to look at me.
I blinked. “What? Me?”
No way.