Chapter 9
Henley
Blackjack and a Heart Tattoo
“Hell yeah! Twenty-one, baby!” Fletcher lifts his hands in the air after Rhonan deals a five, making his cards total the magic number you want to see in a game of blackjack.
Elliot grunts, draining his third beer before reaching for a fresh one. “At least someone is getting lucky tonight.”
Fletcher bounces his eyebrows up and down. “Oh, I’ll be getting lucky in more than just blackjack, man.”
Rhonan glares at him. “Please refrain from making any innuendos about your extracurricular activities with my sister. You know the rules.”
I stifle my laugh behind my hand as Fletcher tsks. “Sorry man, but it’s true.”
“Again, at least one of us is getting lucky,” Elliot grumbles as Rhonan cleans up the cards on the table and passes the deck to Elliot for his turn to deal.
It’s a Tuesday night, which is why Fletcher is back in town for a few days, and his request was a night of blackjack to catch up. The NFL season is underway, so there will be few times between now and February for him to venture to Blossom Peak for more than a day or two.
My boys and I became obsessed with the game after Rhonan’s dad showed us the movie 21 with Kevin Spacey.
He played a college professor that recruited genius students of his to count cards and run a ring that traveled to Vegas, winning a shitload of money.
We never planned on developing our own card counting group, but we still learned how to play the game and have done so since we were in high school.
Now our games are few and far between, but we still make it a point to play when we can.
Elliot, Rhonan, and I share a look because we’re all still single.
“You’re telling me you haven’t been out trying to drown your sorrows in women instead of booze?” Fletcher asks Elliot.
Elliot’s eyes drop to the table. “I can’t yet…”
Rhonan rubs his shoulder. “Take your time, man. Ellis was almost three before I finally felt like I could stand the idea of sleeping with someone that wasn’t my wife, and it still took me six months after that before I finally did.”
“I fucking hate her,” Elliot grates out. “She ripped my fucking heart out—”
“Tori was not the person you were supposed to be with,” Fletcher says, cutting him off. “Because if she were, she never would have gotten involved with you while she was in a relationship with her boss.”
“I just can’t believe I didn’t see it.”
“People can be blind when feelings are involved,” I say.
“Are you talking about you and the way you look at your nanny, or Elliot?” Rhonan’s knowing smirk irritates me instantly.
“Fuck you.”
“No thank you. I’m partial to women.”
Fletcher’s eyes bounce between all of us before landing on me. “What did I miss?”
Rhonan lifts his drink to his mouth as Elliot begins to deal the next hand of cards. “Henley has the hots for his new nanny but is too chicken shit to admit it.”
Fletcher raises one eyebrow at me. “Clark, is that true?”
“I don’t have the hots for her. I mean, is she attractive? Yes. But she’s also annoyingly cheerful and way too young for me. A few nights ago, she went out with Dilynne and didn’t come home until one in the morning.”
Fletcher’s brow creases. “Did you give her a curfew or something?”
Rhonan and Elliot chuckle beside me, but I keep my eyes on Fletcher. “No, but I couldn’t sleep until she got home.”
“Why?”
That’s the thing I’ve been struggling with for the past few days—why did I feel the need to stay up and wait for her? And why did I pick a stupid fucking fight with her when she got home?
I swear, those were some of the longest hours of my life, and that’s including the first night I had Remy in my care. I kept wondering what she and Dilynne were doing, if they were okay, if Elodie was dancing with some random guy and hitting it off with him, if they would…
“Henley?” Fletcher pulls me back from my mental spiral.
“What?”
“I asked you why you waited up for her?”
Pushing a hand through my hair, I lean back in my chair. “I guess I’ve gotten used to her being in the house and it felt weird without her there. I couldn’t sleep.”
The guys share a look before Rhonan loses his smirk from earlier. “You know, it’s okay to care about her, Henley.”
“I don’t care about her…”
“I mean in a non-sexual way. Like, she’s a part of your life now. She’s been in your house for almost a month. It’s natural to want to make sure she’s safe. I mean, I feel that way about Joanne. She’s a part of my family.”
“I don’t have family.”
Elliot scoffs. “Uh, then what the fuck are we?”
Sighing, I say, “You know what I mean.”
“No, enlighten me, because the last time I checked, Dilynne is your sister and the four of us are practically brothers,” Elliot says defensively.
“I just…” Looking off to the side of the room, I debate how to explain what I’m feeling. “I guess I’m annoyed that I care about her when she’s just going to leave.”
Rhonan nods. “That’s understandable, but that doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate her now. You don’t need to act like her father, though.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Yeah, I guess it kind of sounded like that when I spoke to her.”
Rhonan shrugs. “I mean, unless she has a daddy kink.”
I grab a few pretzels from the bowl on the table and chuck them at him. “Shut the fuck up.”
Fletcher clears his throat. “Okay, so other than that, how’s it going? How’s dad life treating you?”
“Honestly, I didn’t realize how boring my life was until Remy came into it,” I say as I feel my lips curl up in a smile.
“That little girl is…” My words trail off because I can feel my throat growing tight.
“Her smile makes me smile. Her giggle is one of the best sounds in the world. When she takes a shit, I’ve never smelt something so godawful in my life, but it also makes me proud. It’s fucking weird, man.”
Fletcher smacks me on the back. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised by how well you’re handling the whole thing.”
My brows pull together. “What do you mean?”
Fletcher looks between Rhonan and Elliot. “We all know what growing up was like for you, and how you never wanted kids,” he says matter-of-factly. “So, I guess I’m just surprised how easily you stepped into this new role.”
My momentary happiness shifts to annoyance. “Wow. Glad to know you had such high faith in me.”
Rhonan interjects. “It’s a good thing, Henley.”
“Remy deserves at least one parent who wants her,” I say, but can’t deny that when Elodie, Remy, and I go out in public, I have to remind myself that we’re not a family.
I’m always quick to clear that up when people assume, but lately, I’m annoyed by how good it feels to have someone to talk to, to help on those days when I’m exhausted, and someone to come home to after a long day at the lodge.
Fuck. I’m really getting used to Elodie being in my life.
And that’s exactly what I can’t do.
“So, have you thought about what you’re gonna do when Elodie leaves?” Rhonan asks as he puts two more chips on his bet.
“Not at all.”
“You probably should. It could take months for you to find someone else. Getting Elodie to agree to help you on a whim was sheer luck, my friend.”
“Yeah, don’t I know it.”
“I could ask Joanne if she knows anyone interested in the job,” he suggests.
“Having an older nanny might prevent you from developing feelings for that one,” Fletcher teases, and I chuck a few pretzels at him this time.
Elliot chokes on his beer. “Aw, Fletch. It’s good to have you around more, buddy.”
“Happy to be here, boys. And you guys are still interested in coming to Charlotte next month for a game, right? I need to let the team manager know to reserve a box.”
The three of us nod. “You know I’m fucking there,” Elliot says.
“Are you gonna bring Remy?” Rhonan asks me.
“I—I guess so. Otherwise, I’d have to leave her with Elodie.”
“What if you brought both of them?” Fletcher suggests. “I’m sure Elodie would enjoy a game. Laney mentioned that she watched football growing up.”
Yet another detail about my nanny that my friends have learned first.
Shrugging, I say, “I could.” Then I turn back to Rhonan. “Are you gonna bring Ellis?”
“Depends on Joanne’s schedule. I mean, I know I’ll enjoy the game far more without her there. An almost five-year-old doesn’t exactly sit still long enough for me to watch a football game.”
“Remy can just sit on my lap.”
Rhonan laughs. “Yeah, for now. But in a few months, she’s going to be crawling, and then she’s not going to want to be held.” He pats me on the shoulder. “You think the sleep deprivation is rough? Just wait until she starts moving. That’s when life really starts to change.”
Jesus Christ.
Just when I start to get the hang of things, it looks like life is going to change yet again.
***
When I walk into my house a few hours later, the silence is unsettling. “Elodie?” I call out, but there’s no reply. The faint sound of the shower running hits my ears, and that’s when I realize she must be in the bathroom.
Walking down the hallway, I head for my room to check on Remy.
I still haven’t put a room together for her, but having her sleep in my bedroom makes the late night and early morning wake-ups easier.
Elodie has been asking me when I plan to put together Remy’s own space, but I just haven’t had the time.
That’s a lie, Henley. You have. You’ve just been too busy talking to your nanny in the evenings to focus on anything else.
When I walk into my room, I see Remy sleeping peacefully in her crib.
She’s almost four months old now which doesn’t seem possible.
The past month has felt so long and yet terrifyingly fast at the same time.
Her lips purse in her sleep, making me smile.
Her hands are balled up in fists by the sides of her head, and her lashes are fluttering as she dreams.
I wonder what babies dream about.