Chapter 23
Henley
Saying It Out Loud
“Peek-a-boo!” Remy’s giggle hits my ears the second I walk into my foster parents’ house. Carol is hiding behind a blanket as Remy sits in the corner of the couch, dropping it quickly to surprise her, making her laugh.
The sound almost makes me fucking cry.
Instead, I let out a sigh of contentment then strip off my jacket as I make my way into the living room.
Carol looks up from her spot on the couch. “That didn’t take long.”
“Well, Meghan clearly knew what she was agreeing to.” I take a seat on the loveseat next to the couch and reach out to kiss my daughter’s hand. “She’s out of our lives for good.”
Carol’s smile is soft. “How do you feel about it?”
“Honestly? Relieved.” I blow out a breath. “Even though I don’t think I’ll fully understand Meghan’s decision, I’m grateful that she made it now instead of hurting my baby bear.” As soon as the nickname leaves my lips, that pang of pain radiates in my chest.
“This little girl will never be short on love, Henley.” Carol winks at me. “Just like you and Dilynne. You have so many people that care about you two.”
The knot in my throat gets larger. “Uh, speaking of that. Where’s Nick?”
“He’s in the garage. Why?”
“I sort of wanted to talk to you two.” Carol’s brows draw together.
“Give me a second.” When I stand, I head straight for the garage to find Nick tinkering around with a motor part on his workbench.
If my sister were here, she’d be standing right next to him, swapping vocabulary that I only know bits and pieces of.
But seeing him in his element does something to me—it makes me realize that this man gave me good memories to replace the horrible ones my own father left for me—the ones I’m ready to leave behind completely.
He stepped up for two kids whose childhood was the kind from nightmares.
He supported us in everything we wanted to do, regardless if he understood it or not.
And he filled a spot in our lives—not out of obligation, like I thought—but out of the goodness of his heart, because he was meant to be the father I never had.
“Nick?” I manage to croak out, drawing his attention to me.
His head swivels over his shoulder. “Hey, Henley. How’d everything go today?”
“Good. Easier than I imagined, actually. But, uh…” I reach up and rub the back of my neck. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
He drops the tool from his hand on the bench. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes and no.”
“Okay…”
I motion for him to follow me back inside, joining Carol again in the living room, Remy on her lap now. When I take my seat back on the loveseat adjacent to them, I struggle with how to start. “You two deserve to hear something from me after far too long.”
“Henley,” Carol starts, concern etched in every line of her face, but I hold up my hand to stop her.
“Please, just…let me try to get through this.” She nods and glances over at Nick as he takes his hand in hers.
They’re a team.
And I fucking want that too.
One thing at a time, Henley.
“Today I watched Remy’s mom leave her daughter behind without blinking.
She chose to continue her life without her, acting like she never existed, and something hit me as I watched it unfold.
My parents did the same thing to me and Dilynne.
We were an afterthought, forgotten kids that got tossed around in the foster system until we met you. ”
“I remember the first time I saw you,” Nick chimes in. “You were so angry.”
I huff out a laugh. “Turns out I still am, but I’m working on it.
” He nods, so I continue. “When I wrote that letter for us to stay with you, I did it for Dilynne. I knew she was happy here, but deep down, I realized I did for me too.” My eyes start to sting.
“You showed me what it was like to be loved for the first time in my life, and even said the words to me, but I didn’t want to believe it.
I—I didn’t want to accept it.” Looking at my daughter, I smile.
“But I get it now. I get what it feels like to love someone more than you ever imagined you could, to want to protect them from pain and a life without someone to lean on.” My eyes cast back to Carol and Nick, who both have tears in their eyes.
“You two always let me be me. You never tried to change me, you accepted me for who I was, and I’m not sure where I would have ended up if it weren’t for the two of you. ”
“Henley,” Nick says, wiping under his eye. “You and Dilynne put us down a path we didn’t expect either, son. You showed us parts of ourselves that never got the love we couldn’t give to children of our own, so we gave it to you.”
I take in a deep breath and prepare to say what I should have said that night when my sister graduated from high school and I thought that running from my past would make me feel free.
My daredevil days were how I tried to forget it.
That adrenaline I needed to chase was so I could fucking feel something other than disappointment.
Turns out, it was the love from a woman with a beautiful voice that I needed to thaw the ice walls I’ve been hiding behind.
“I—I love you both very much, and you deserve to finally hear that.” Carol’s bottom lip starts to tremble.
“I get what that means now, to want to put someone’s happiness above your own, to go to the ends of the earth to make their life better.
” My hands are shaking as I say, “I’m just sorry it took me so long to tell you. ”
Nick chuckles. “We know you love us, Henley. You never had to say the words because you showed us with your actions and your heart.”
Carol chimes in. “I’m so proud of the man you’ve become, and certainly how much you’ve grown since becoming a father.” She glances down at Remy on her lap, who’s smiling across the space at me. “You may not be our son by blood, but you are a part of our family.”
“And now Remy has you too.” My little girl has a family that Meghan never could have given her, and that makes me feel even more relieved that she’s gone.
Carol bounces her on her lap. “We never could have kids of our own,” she says, looking over at her husband. “I remember when we were struggling to get pregnant and I saw that quote in the infertility doctor’s office. Do you remember what it said?”
Nick nods. “Children don’t always come when you plan for them—they arrive when your soul needs them the most.”
Carol turns back to me as a tear slips down her cheek. “You and Dilynne came into our lives and transformed us too, just like Remy did to you. And now look? We have two people in our lives that we consider our own, and still ended up with a grandchild. Who would have thought, huh?”
“Best twist of fate, ever.” Nick kisses her lips and then turns to me.
“Your capacity for love is far greater than you think, Henley. Saying the words is only part of it. And even though I can’t deny that hearing them fills something inside of me, what would make me even more content in this moment, is you admitting that Elodie is someone that you want to show that love to, and doing everything you can to fight for her. ”
His words light the fire under my ass that’s been smoldering for the past twenty-four hours. “Actually, there’s a favor I need from you two.”
Carol throws her hand in the air while rolling her eyes. “Ohhhh…so now that you’ve told us that you love us, you’re just gonna start asking for favors and think we’re going to agree to any and everything, huh?”
An amused smile forms on my lips. “Well, yeah.”
Nick laughs and grabs Remy from Carol’s lap. “If it involves watching this little one so you can go get your girl, then I think the answer is clear.”
“I really do love you both,” I say, my voice cracking as I soak in the moment right in front of me, the strongest urge to take a picture overwhelming my senses.
And that’s when it hits me.
I know just how to show Elodie that she’s worth the fight, the memories, and the words I’ve never told anyone else.
I just hope I’m not too late.