Chapter 22
Twenty-Two
Tombé: to fall from one leg to another.
Rudy
The ballet school predictably turned into a ghost town the week after The Nutcracker.
Most classes were on a break until the new year, with many teachers and families taking advantage of the time for holiday travel.
For myself, I bounced between getting caught up on all the tasks that I’d had to delay to handle more time-critical performance crises and counting down until I could next be alone with Alexander.
We snuck in more making out on Monday and Tuesday night.
However, despite the fun we had every time we got behind a closed door, Alexander seemed out of sorts, like his normal energy was taking its time coming back from the demands of the show.
At least he wasn’t holed up in the pool house.
Instead, he hung around the school during the day, giving himself class in one of the studios, but he seemed to be dragging himself through the routine.
By Wednesday, I’d had enough of his doldrums.
I sought him out after his afternoon class while he was pulling on his warm-ups.
“You need a distraction.” I knocked lightly on the studio door before entering. Looking up from his dance bag, Alexander gave a slow smile, wicked intent rising in his eyes as he glanced at the door behind me. Skin heating, I gently closed the door.
“I’d say I’ve already found the perfect distraction, and he’s standing in front of me.” He stalked to the classroom windows that faced the hallway, lowering the blinds with a flick of his wrist.
“There is that.” I gave a strangled cough.
The building might be half-empty, but my mother was still around.
The most I was willing to risk was a few kisses in the studio, no matter how predatory Alexander’s expression turned.
“But clearly I’m not doing a good enough job as your designated distraction because you’ve been restless all week. ”
“Typical post-performance funk.” Crossing back to where I stood, Alexander gave me a lingering kiss. “Nothing personal. And nothing some alone time with you won’t cure. Your place or mine tonight?”
My heart lifted that he counted me as a help with his mood. I was also thrilled by the easy way he assumed we’d spend the evening together.
“Much as I love sneaking you into my apartment and vice versa, I think we both need an escape from Hollyberry for the evening.”
“An escape?” Alexander sounded intrigued, which boded well for my plan. “And are you having a post-performance adrenaline crash too?”
“More like I have a never-ending holiday to-do list plus helping my mom with her last-minute stuff. However, I had an idea for you and me tonight.”
“Okay.” Alexander gave an easy shrug before kissing me again. “What’s the dress code for this adventure?”
“You’re in?” I was befuddled by his fast agreement as much as by his kisses. “You don’t need more information?”
“I trust you.” He smiled indulgently at me. “You haven’t led me wrong yet. And you’re probably right about needing an escape of sorts. No offense to either of our couches, but some variety might be nice.”
“Exactly.” I beamed at him. “Go back to your place and get changed. Nothing too fancy, but you’ll want to be warm. I’ll pick you up around five.”
“Sounds good.” Alexander graced me with one last toe-curling kiss before resuming packing up his things.
He left me to the rest of my workday, not that I got a ton done before racing upstairs for a fast shower and change of my own.
Temperatures were dropping, so I cranked the heater on the way to pick him up.
I pulled around to the back of the Dasher house, and Alexander slid into the passenger seat like he’d been waiting for me by the pool house window. His unexpected eagerness gave me a jolt of energy. Alexander genuinely enjoying my company was better than any triple-shot latte.
“Okay, where are we headed, boss?” he asked as he rubbed his hands in front of the heater.
“On a hunt for the best Christmas lights in the suburbs.” I tried to sound confident in my plan for a drive and dinner. “There’s a neighborhood closer to the city that’s famous for its lights.”
“Evergreen.” Alexander gave a fond smile. “I know the one. My parents took us there a time or two on a similar hunt.”
“Not too cheesy of an idea?” I was careful not to call this a date.
We were hanging out every night and kissing and swapping orgasms, but I wasn’t sure anything with a looming expiration date could be called dating.
“We can get dinner too. Evergreen has a revived downtown with a new restaurant with a view of the town lights.”
“I love the idea.” Alexander glanced back at the main house before giving me a fast kiss. “I haven’t had much time for the season in years. Our final The Nutcracker performance is Christmas Eve or a few days afterward, and I wouldn’t want to do holiday stuff alone in any event.”
The idea of Alexander alone and exhausted in Seattle in his post-performance funk made me unreasonably sad. He needed someone to take care of him, and I wished with all my heart it could be me. But all I said was, “You should. After all your hard work, you’ve earned some holiday fun.”
“So have you.” He offered a wink that said I was likely getting more kissing later.
I took a back-roads route to Evergreen, which was south of Hollyberry, so we could see some lights in different neighborhoods along the way.
We passed my college, which had ribbons on the light posts and white lights along the main walkway, before we arrived at Evergreen.
Predictably, this close to Christmas, the narrow streets were clogged with slow-moving traffic, so I parked in a community center lot, and we walked over to explore on foot.
“Glad I brought gloves.” Alexander stamped his feet against the cold as we waited to cross the street to enter the neighborhood.
“I’ll have to warm you up later,” I teased in a low voice.
“You do that. And why wait? I’m stealing some warmth now.
” With that, he grabbed my hand. We were hardly alone as others were strolling the well-kept historic neighborhood.
But Alexander didn’t seem to mind the potential audience.
“You were right. It’s lovely being out of Hollyberry and the possibility of our mothers asking uncomfortable questions. ”
“They do have a way of doing that.” I squeezed his hand, a rush of simple pleasure shooting up my arm, warming my chest, and widening my smile.
In another place and time, our mothers would be a minor consideration, and I could have this sort of moment all the time.
Against all odds, Alexander seemed to genuinely like me and wasn’t ashamed of our friendship and connection.
If not for that whole opposites ends of the country thing, we could be so good together.
We passed a covered booth collecting food and cash donations for local charities.
Two bundled-up middle-aged men sat close enough to each other that I was reasonably certain they were a couple.
A Bernese Mountain dog in a thick plaid coat lay next to them.
I fished my wallet out to put some cash in their box.
“Thank you.” The man closest to the donation box wore glasses not unlike mine when I didn’t have my contacts in. He had a grin that made him look younger. “We appreciate your support.”
“Thanks to your neighborhood for putting this on.” I gestured at the wonderland around us, extravagantly lit houses in all directions, each more fabulous than the last. The house behind us was a grand Victorian with a wide porch and multiple trees in the middle. “It’s pretty incredible.”
“It is. My favorite tradition.” The man gave another smile before starting like he’d been nudged under the table. Like me, he blushed easily, and the glance he gave the other man confirmed my suspicion that they were a couple. “Well, one of my favorites. Have a good night.”
We walked on, but Alexander glanced back at the two men. “I wonder how long they’ve been together?”
“Years likely.” I echoed his contemplative tone. What would it be like to own a house with someone else? Build a life together? There had been a basketball hoop in their driveway. They might even have a kid or two around. A fierce want swept through me. “They’re couple goals.”
“I suppose.” Alexander swung my hand lightly. “You deserve a future like that, Rudy.”
I stopped short in front of another house, this one with a large menorah on the lawn. I didn’t want that future with some nameless person I had yet to meet. I wanted it with Alexander. And I hadn’t missed the wistful note in his voice either. A part of him wanted a forever kind of love too.
“I wish—” I started to say, but Alexander cut me off with a light tap of his gloved finger against my lips.
“No wishes.” His voice was husky. “I’d make all your wishes come true if I could, but I can’t. Let’s simply enjoy the present, like you keep saying.”
“Okay.” I couldn’t help my glum tone.
“Hey.” Alexander pulled me close, no mind to the cars passing by or the other pedestrians. “Don’t be sad. Please. I hate making you sad.”
“You’re not.” I hugged him back. “The situation might be, but you make me happy.”
“Good.” He gave me a fast kiss before glancing up, fresh wonder in his eyes. “Look. It’s starting to snow.”
“It’s so pretty.” Despite my yearning for a future that couldn’t be, I smiled. It was hard to stay sad in the face of Alexander’s delight. And he was right. I needed to enjoy every second together, not dwell on what couldn’t be.
Make your own holiday magic a sign at the house across the street read. And that was precisely what I resolved to do. Maybe we only had one season together, but I would do everything in my power to make it the best.