Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
En dehors: to move away from the supporting leg.
Rudy
Christmas Eve dragged on, a slow march until I could escape with Alexander as he’d promised. However, dinner had been followed by a present exchange, and now, I was stuck helping clean up the family room, no Alexander in sight.
“I don’t know how I’m expected to survive.” Kitty, who’d arrived earlier in the afternoon with both her parents, swooned onto the sofa next to me, complete with one arm over her head and a combat boot dangling off the edge of the couch.
“You’ll have to be more specific.” Swallowing back a chuckle, I tried for a curious but sympathetic tone.
“Victoria leaving in the summer.” Kitty’s long-suffering sigh said I should have guessed what her despair was over. “It’s all I can think about. She’s only been gone two days to visit her grandma in Pittsburgh, and I miss her so much. How am I going to survive saying goodbye for real?”
That was similar to the question I kept asking myself, but I wasn’t about to share my own drama with Kitty. I wasn’t ready for this season to end, and every scrap of wrapping paper I shoved into the trash bag made me that much more depressed.
“You’ve got six months.” I pitched my voice as reassuring as I could. “My mother always says—”
“Don’t borrow trouble.” Kitty offered me an epic eye roll. “I know. But the winter formal was magical.” Fishing out her phone, she held up a picture of her and Victoria in glittery party dresses. “And now, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to give her up.”
Ouch. I knew the feeling well, as that thought had dogged my every movement for the last forty-eight hours or so. How was I supposed to give up something so sweet? It felt like we were barely getting started. I wanted more time together, more practice at sex, more holidays. More Alexander.
I inhaled sharply. “Maybe you can—”
“Don’t say visit.” Kitty cut me off with a raised hand.
“That’s what Victoria keeps saying, and everyone knows that never works out.
” She sounded far older than most high school juniors.
“Victoria will be off at boarding school, then her ballet apprenticeship, and I’ll be stuck at regular high school and then college for costume design. Two different worlds.”
“Not entirely.” I sank down on the floor next to the couch, still holding the trash bag.
My mind drifted to Alexander’s invitation for New Year’s Eve.
He wanted me to attend a fancy party with ballet people.
And he’d been right at home with my gamer friends.
Maybe our worlds weren’t so different after all.
Despite Kitty’s instant dismissal of the idea of visits, the thought refused to leave my brain.
“And there’s video chat and calls and trains and airplanes.
It doesn’t have to mean the end of your friendship. ”
“You’re trying to help.” Reaching over, Kitty gave my arm a motherly pat. “And I appreciate it. But some things aren’t meant to be.” Kitty’s voice wavered. I knew that same painful truth well myself. “That’s what I’m sad over. I understand I have to let her go, but it’s going to hurt.”
“Yeah.” My voice came out weak. I was the worst person to offer advice here. “Have you talked to Victoria?”
“All we do is talk.” Kitty offered me an arch look. “But I can’t ask her to stay. That wouldn’t be fair. And if I tell her how sad I am, she’ll feel guilty when she needs to be focusing on her auditions.”
“I get it.” Lord, did I ever. I didn’t want to burden Alexander with my deepest emotions or a pointless guilt trip. Searching for any distraction, I fiddled with the box for a new board game Tavio and Irina had gifted me.
“I know you do.” Kitty’s soulful look said she might have guessed I had more than friendly feelings for Alexander. Tone brightening, she pointed at the box. “That game looks fun. I helped my dad pick it out.”
“Thanks. Want to play?” We both needed the distraction, and the box promised a fast-paced camel-racing game for all ages. I could spare a few more minutes, especially if it cheered Kitty up.
“Us too.” Waylon’s three kids chose that moment to rush into the room.
“Let’s do teams so the littles each have someone older to play with.
” Kitty spoke like a seasoned babysitter.
She made her way to the large farmhouse-style dining table at the end of the room closest to the kitchen.
As I followed her lead, she motioned at someone behind me. “Alexander, come join us. We need you.”
“You need me?” He strode over to the table with a bemused smile.
“Always.” I kept my tone a light tease with a little chuckle at the end to disguise how much truth was hidden in that one word.
Further, if we were going to have to wait longer for alone time, at least we could be together in the same room.
“We’re about to teach the kids a new game. You can partner with Jack.”
“I suppose.” Alexander eyed Waylon’s youngest, who had spiky dark hair, a mischievous grin, and a need to be the center of attention. I also knew from prior experience that Jack loved to win. He’d pair well with Alexander.
“I get to roll the dice,” Jack demanded as we took turns rolling a pair of regular dice to see which team would go first.
“Go ahead.” Alexander squinted as he studied the rule book, looking up as Jack rolled two sixes. He gave an approving nod. “Good work. That sets us up nicely.”
My heart twisted because in that instant, I could see who Alexander might be as a parent, serious but supportive.
A mirage of family game nights shimmered off in the distance, never to be.
I swallowed hard. The game continued amid much glee from the kids as the brightly colored camels galloped around the board.
We were partway through the round when Alexander’s mother and my mother came striding into the kitchen area with stacks of empty dessert plates.
“Oh my goodness!” My mother set the plates near the sink before digging in her sweater pocket for her phone. “This is the cutest thing. Let me get a picture of you all.”
“What’s this?” Elaine joined her in peering at us like we were a new zoo exhibit. “Alexander willingly hanging out at the kids’ table? And laughing? It’s a Christmas miracle.”
“He did great with the school visits.” I was maybe a bit quick to defend him, but Alexander had a genuine rapport with kids.
Others simply didn’t give him enough credit.
He didn’t need to be silly for kids to like and respect him.
His more extroverted mother and sister also often seemed to forget that not everyone had a super-sized social battery.
I pointed at the pad of paper he’d grabbed a few turns back.
“And he’s got Jack doing math to calculate how many points they need to win. ”
“I see.” Elaine’s eyes went wide. It was possible she saw entirely too much. “I think your friendship has been good for him too.”
“Perhaps.” I did a fair imitation of Alexander’s indifferent delivery.
Elaine’s tendency to enthusiastically run around with new ideas like one of the camels in our game had to be part of why Alexander was always so guarded.
I wasn’t nearly so good at schooling my expression, but under our mothers’ scrutiny, I tried my best. “He’s been fun to have around. ”
“Maybe Alexander’s newfound love of gaming will induce him to visit more often.” My mother shared Elaine’s ability to leap ahead, and I frowned at both of them.
“I wouldn’t count on that,” I said quickly. The denial hurt less coming from me than it would from Alexander.
“And I wouldn’t count it out,” Elaine countered. Next to me, Kitty shook her head. Our gazes met sympathetically. Some things simply weren’t meant to be, no matter how magical.