Chapter Sixteen #3
Adeline’s teeth worried at her lip for a moment before she nodded; she looked almost frightened.
Then, rolling away from his touch, she sat up and rifled around on the nightstand.
She passed him a piece of paper, soft with overlapping creases, a torn wax seal clinging to it’s centre.
Adeline muttered something about a candle, but Kai caught a gentle hold of her arm before she could climb from the bed.
“I can see,” he told her gently, then tugged her closer. “Come here.”
Adeline melted easily into his side and stayed there as he read; the moonlight was not much different from the depths of the Laune—he could make out every word.
Adeline,
I received your note.
I’m afraid I haven’t much of an appetite for dessert tonight.
Shocking, I know! I may retire early, however, I would very much appreciate it if you would join me in the morning.
Your sister and I have had a long overdue conversation this afternoon, and now, my darling, you and I have much to confer.
This is something we must discuss in person, but I am happy to say that I know you now, Adeline, and knowing how perceptive you are, I don’t want you to lose sleep tonight.
Mareda may have my stubborness, but you are sisters through and through, and you both share an endless grace that I so admire.
That is how I know that she will forgive you; she will forgive us both.
Please don’t be afraid; this is a good thing, for us all. I hope you know how proud I am. How grateful. I hope you know, my darling Adeline, how very much I love you.
Looking forward to our chat. Perhaps you might bring some scones?
Mother
Kai’s withheld breath had swollen in his chest the further he read, and it pained him to release it as he spoke.
“Adeline, this is—when did you get this?”
Her face was buried in his shoulder; he could barely make out the thick, muffled words.
“Our last night in Eisalaan. It was hidden in a stack of letters in my bedroom. She must have written to me just a few hours before she—” She swallowed hard, her shoulders shifting as she burrowed closer and he could not help but turn and gather her to his chest.
“What should I do? I don’t know what to do.” Her breath fractured, cracking her words as she spoke. “I don’t know if this changes anything.”
“It does, if you want it to.”
She stilled, her face still turned into his collarbone—but after a moment she nodded. And when she pulled away to prop herself up on an elbow and let him see her tear-streaked face, he understood she did not want him to misinterpret her nod.
“Before you came to us, my mother was … different. Things between us were different. She’d built up all these walls to protect herself, and—I don’t know, maybe some of that was the Frost too.
All I know is that it created so much distance.
I didn’t know her. For most of my life, I didn’t know my own mother. ”
She bent her head, and her curls fell forward like a curtain; Kai swept them back again.
She was sharing a tender, unseen part of herself, and in that moment, some instinct told him that it was the very least he could offer in return: to see her.
Truly see her, and listen to every word.
She glanced up at him beneath her lashes.
“Growing up, I wanted nothing to do with her. I wanted my father. I wanted Eleni, even when she stopped responding to my letters. Dhalias was the first place I ever truly felt—not just loved, but safe in that love, you know? Loved from all sides, loved even if I was being a brat, or felt a little moody that day, or Goddess forbid, a little silly. What Eleni said tonight, about seeing me as her daughter? It would have made my entire childhood if I’d heard that a few years ago. ”
Her throat bobbed, and when she spoke again, her voice was bolder; still soft as a shadow in the intimate darkness, but strong and certain.
“The thing is, I got a bit of my mother back over those last few weeks. I got to know her. The woman you met; she was that, and she was more. She was caring, in her own bizarre way.” A smile flickered around her lips.
“She had a sweet tooth. She was sort of … irreverent. And she liked it when I was, too. She was funny. She liked you, you know. She wanted us to be—”
Adeline’s gaze flinched away, but when she forced it back to him, her eyes were that same soft, warm brown he knew so well.
“She wanted me to be happy. And she wanted Eisalaan to be happy, she really, really did.”
Kai nodded, and it seemed like the right response, because Adeline’s eyes softened further, and that flickering smile took hold for a long moment before she returned his nod, just once, firmly.
“So yes,” she said. “If this is what she wanted, I trust her judgment. If it’s what she wanted, it’s what I want too.”
Kai was already reaching for her and when she leaned down to meet him he kissed her forehead, and each sticky, salted cheek.
“Then we’ll find a way,” he said. “First thing tomorrow, we’ll ask Eleni to send word to your father—perhaps with an Imperial messenger so Edward can’t intercept.”
He coaxed her against him again, guided her head to his chest and cradled her body in the crook of one arm.
He felt her melt against him, relief softening the taut lines of her body and slowing her breath.
Whether it was the relief of sharing her burden, or having a plan, or simply lying her weary body down, he could not say.
“Alright,” was all she said as she curled against his side.
And they spoke no more of Selma, or Eleni, or even of their respective kingdoms, but they did speak.
Sleep did not find them for many hours to come, and they lay there side by side, whispering long into the night.
And if the tone of their conversation had not lightened, Kai would have been willing to share a buried truth of his own—it was that he longed to spend every night just like this.
With Adeline warm in his arms, watching the light shift from moonlit silver to watery blue, to dawning golden pink as they talked for hours about nothing at all.