Chapter Eighteen #4
If it hadn’t been for the feel of his hand, still curved beneath her jaw, Adeline might have wondered if Kai had simply walked away.
He did not respond at first; she couldn’t even hear his breath, just the hush of stirring leaves all around them.
The soft caw of a bird in the distance. The burbling of the stream.
The breeze whispered around them and caressed Adeline’s face, cooling the hot trail of her tears and her flushed cheeks.
As though Aera herself had known where to find her, so far from home, and had travelled all this way to bring her strength.
That fanciful thought was all that got her through the last long moment before Kai finally released a low breath.
“Adeline,” he said slowly. And then again, decisive, “Adeline.”
His hand fell away from her face.
What did that mean? Was he angry? Hurt? She was terrified to open her eyes, but it was an effort to keep them closed as he shifted beneath her and surged up; she felt him in her space as he leaned in, his deep voice suddenly very close.
“I want you to look at me.”
The command was gentle, but it was a command. His king’s voice; the one that normally spilt heat through her belly—now, it soothed her nerves with its familiarity.
“Look at me, please.”
She opened her eyes; his were velvet soft, the green in them somewhat dimmed beneath the browns and golds, now warmer than ever.
Even in its most gentle state, his stare had the power to pin her in place; she didn’t stray from his gaze.
When he spoke, it was still in that king’s voice; firm and authoritative, thrumming with his complete and utter confidence in every word.
“Your mother knew that you love her.”
Love. Adeline could not mistake that present tense, nor the answering pang that resounded in her chest.
“I never said it,” she whispered.
“She knew.” He took her face again, in both hands this time, speaking so softly it made her ache inside and out. “You didn’t say it, but you didn’t need to. Because I can tell you, Adeline, the people you love … they know it.”
Adeline swallowed at the sudden tightness in her throat, and like watching her own reflection, Kai’s throat bobbed too.
That moment slid by a little thicker than the last, time itself slowing to pore over that handful of words and the infinite meanings they might contain.
But then Kai’s thumb smoothed over her jaw, and he went on, so quiet now but all the more emphatic.
“They know because you love boldly, and that’s worth more than anything you could ever say. It’s who you are. Endlessly kind. Caring, and gracious, and generous with your time—even more so with your laughter. I have heard you laugh at some truly awful jokes.”
She surprised herself with a watery, gasping giggle, and Kai smiled.
“And that’s understandable, for someone so passionate; you share that freely too.
You fight for the people you love, but more importantly, you’re not afraid to fight with them when you need to.
Do you realise how much courage that takes?
You’re brave, Adeline. And that kind of bravery only comes from love. ”
He paused to blot away a fresh wave of tears, then waited for Adeline to work through the thick breath still caught in her ragged chest. When he spoke again, it was with a gentle sort of finality.
“The people you love know they are loved,” he said, “because you show them.”
Everything stilled within her; her heart, her blood, her breath, and something else—something ineffable.
And through it all, Kai held her gaze; though the forest was remarkably silent, she could swear a whisper passed between them.
Had the pendant been around her own neck, she might have wondered if she’d unearthed a second power, a telepathy of sorts.
The look on Kai’s face spelt out his every thought so clearly she nearly heard the words in her own head.
You don’t have to say anything. I know.
He knew, because she’d shown him.
So Adeline showed him again. She climbed into his lap, wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and kissed him until her long-suffering chest screamed for air. Even when she broke for breath, she remained wrapped around him as tightly as she could manage, her forehead against his.
“Thank you,” she said in a heavy hush. “That means … so much to me.”
She hesitated, but the ache in her throat did not come—Kai had said she was bold.
Brave. She wanted to be. And maybe this wasn’t the perfect moment, with her tears still damp on her cheeks and her mother’s memory lingering here with them in the clearing, but Goddess, she wanted to give him something.
Whatever she could. She would tell him when the moment was right. But for now—
“You mean so much to me, Kai,” she said. “You mean everything.”
Kai’s shoulders tensed beneath her arms. With his head pressed to hers, it was hard to read his expression, but he leaned back to let her see his eyes; the intensity in them.
They were smouldering. She had the vaguest impression of staring into a bonfire, the sizzle of heat and the mesmerising flames, consuming and barely contained and all the more dazzling for it; it was a fire she’d gladly walk into.
When he finally drew a breath to speak, his voice crackled with that same controlled heat.
“You mean everything to me.”