24. Chapter Twenty-Four
Penelope
Gianna lives above a Thai place, up a staircase that smells permanently of lemongrass, in an apartment with too many lamps and a couch that’s seen things.
“Penelope!” Gianna’s got the door open before I’ve knocked, a bottle of wine in one hand, already three sentences into something.
“Okay, good, you’re here. Mara’s late, which, shocking, and I ordered too much food on purpose, so that we can eat however much we want, and we’re going to put on Love Island. ”
Inside, it’s warm and low-lit. There’s a brunette on the floor with her back against the couch.
“Penelope. Lucy. Penelope.”
Lucy lifts a timid hand and half-smiles. “Hi.”
Mara arrives twenty minutes later when we’ve already made our plates and started eating.
Gianna has been talking nonstop the entire time about Camden and how much she loves it here.
Lucy is quiet and shy. She doesn’t say much, but Gianna doesn’t leave her out.
But as soon as Mara steps in, she has taken over the entire conversation.
Eventually, Mara wants to take a photo, so we crowd onto the couch, and Gianna holds the phone out.
We all lean in, and then it’s the first message in our new group chat.
I look at the photo when it comes through.
Four women on a couch, and one of them is me.
I look like I’m having a good time. Because I am.
It’s a strange sight to see that I’m genuinely having a good time, and I’m not working for it.
I’m not tracking the room or managing anyone or performing anything.
I don’t entirely know how this happened, but I think I could belong to a good group of girlfriends.
I haven’t had that since I was fourteen.
And I’ve been dying for this ever since I came to Camden U. I watch Mara talk and smile.
“Mara, you remind me of my best friend from home,” I say.
Her eyes light up. “I knew we were meant to be friends. There’s something familiar about you, too.”
I let myself smile at that. For the first time, I’ve met a girl and clicked right away.
“—no, but you don’t understand the state of that house,” Gianna’s says while putting down her fork. “My brother lives like an animal. They all live like animals.”
“Which one’s your brother again?” Mara asks.
“Benson.”
“The hottest one on the team,” Mara says as her eyes travel to the photo near the TV.
I find myself looking. Lucy keeps her eyes on Gianna.
Gianna scoffs. “He’s the tall, serious one.
He thinks he’s the dad of the team.” Gianna rolls her eyes.
“There are five of them in that house, and they’re all — okay, so there’s Benson, and there’s Stanley, who never stops talking, ever.
I’ve watched him talk with food in his mouth and a phone to his ear at the same time.
Rowan, who’s actually kind of scary, but he cooks for all of them like a housewife.
Blue, who looks like a real asshole, by the way.
I’ve heard him say maybe four words total—”
Mara scoffs. “How does that make him an asshole?”
“A guy who doesn’t talk is a guy who thinks he’s better than everyone. He just stands there all smug. I don’t know. It’s a vibe.”
“A vibe?” Mara asks with her brows raised and a head nod.
“That’s four boys,” Lucy says from the floor.
“Yeah, and the goalie.” Gianna waves a hand. “Percy, I think.”
My heart leaps at the sound of his name.
She continues, “The quiet one. God, he’s enormous, and he doesn’t say a single word. He just appears out of nowhere and reads a book in French. The guys think he might only speak French, and every time he talks, he’s faking an American accent.”
Mara laughs at that, and my heart flies through the roof at what she’s saying.
French? Fake accent? What?
“How much time are you spending over there, G?” Mara asks, still chuckling. “The goalie sounds like a serial killer.”
I hold my cup, and I sip from it.
“No, that’s the thing, he’s not, he’s—” Gianna tips her head.
“I think the guys are full of shit. I’m pretty sure he speaks English just fine, and he’s actually kind of sweet?
In a way that makes no sense. But him and Rowan are the ones who clean up after all of them.
Benson’s obsessed with him, in a manly way where they’d never say it—” she does a voice, “—that’s my guy, that’s Deveroux — like Benson got him some restaurant job and acts like it’s nothing but he clearly loves him. ”
I did not know that Benson got him the job.
“Oh—” Gianna lights up. “Okay, the best thing. The best thing about the goalie. He reads in French.”
My heart flattens. Everything goes quiet in me because I’m clueless about the man I’ve spent many nights with.
“You already said that,” Mara laughs.
Lucy agrees, “You did.”
“Guys, he reads.” Her eyes widen. “Novels! In French! The guys call him Mon Petit Percy.” Gianna does the accent badly. She looks at each of us. “I’m so sorry. Do you guys know anything about athletes? They don’t fucking read books, guys!”
“It’s fake,” Mara nods.
“Yeah,” Lucy adds.
“It’s not fake,” Gianna says, rolling her eyes.
I stay out of it.
Mara shakes her head. “It makes sense. It’s a way of being cool and different.”
“Oh, like you with your little romance novels in class with your phone in it, texting God knows who?”
Mara throws her head back and laughs. And while they continue their conversation, my thoughts can’t take it.
The guys think that Percy only speaks French?
Is it his first language? Or did he take a college course, and the guys are giving him grief?
I don’t even know that much about him, and I’ve been his friend for a year and a half.
I’ve been treasuring a boy I know almost nothing about.
And Gianna just handed me more of him in ten minutes than I collected in eighteen months.
I sit there, hold my cup, and listen for anything else I might not know. But they’re already onto the next thing.
“Okay, but the rules,” Gianna says, and the girls groan like they’ve heard this is coming. “Have I told you about the rules? There’s a whiteboard.”
“A whiteboard,” Mara questions.
“With their house rules on it written out like a manifesto.” Gianna sets her glass down so she can use both hands. “Because they’re very serious athletes with very serious futures, and they’ve decided that girls are a threat to the mission.”
“Oh my god.”
“I’m not joking. Okay—” she ticks them off on her fingers. “Rule one. No falling in love before the draft.”
Mara puts her face in a pillow.
“Rule two. No serious girlfriends in the house.” Gianna’s really enjoying it now. “Rule three — and this one’s personal — no teammates’ sisters. Which, excuse me? I’m right here. I’m a teammate’s sister. I find that deeply insulting and also, frankly, who’s asking—”
“That is the most fragile thing I’ve ever heard,” Lucy says from the floor, and it’s the most she’s said all night, and it gets the biggest laugh.
“Right?” Gianna’s delighted. “Five boys who think their little hearts are so powerful they had to make a law. Like any of them could hold down a relationship anyway. Stanley’s in love with a different girl every week—”
And I go still because I have spent a year and a half keeping him a secret. I thought the secrecy was mine. I thought I was the one with the wall and the reasons. I thought I was hiding him.
I’ve seen the rules before and laughed. I didn’t know it was that serious of a thing. This whole time, there have been house rules, and he’s following them. He has been keeping me a secret.
“—Penelope, back me up, the sister thing is insane, right?”
“It’s insane,” I say, and my voice comes out level. I even smile.
Gianna says, “Thank you.”
She pours more wine, and the conversation moves onto classes and what professors are rumored to be good and bad.
“What’re you majoring in, Penelope?” Mara asks.
The question makes my throat tight. “Architecture.” There was a time when I was so proud to say that aloud, and now, it feels off.
Gianna says, “Oh, I heard you have to draw for that.”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
Mara makes a sound. “I’m so happy I’m doing liberals.”
Gianna gives her a face. “I did mine in high school.”
Mara teases, “Okay, smartie pants. Whatever.”
They laugh while Lucy and I nervously watch them. They both have the same energy, and I’m not sure if it’s going to spark into a fight or laughter. They stare at each other and belt out a big laugh. Lucy and I look at each other and smirk.
Then Gianna says, “Oh my god. I need to put on the game.”
Lucy quietly adjusts herself on the couch, looking up at the TV. Gianna uses her phone to put the hockey game on the screen. Within a second, it pops up.
“You stream the games?” Mara mocks.
“Yeah. I watch all of my brother’s games.” She says it easily like it’s given.
I look at the screen, waiting for something to happen. Relief. Indifference. But instead, my heart’s a racing mess. Percy’s going to be on TV. My palms start to sweat.
The game isn’t even halfway through when I make an excuse to leave because I can’t take it anymore. I can see him sitting on the bench, and I hate that my eyes keep looking for him. The girls tell me to have a good night, and we’ll have another get together soon.
When I walk into my apartment, the feeling doesn’t disappear like I hoped it would. I take one glance at the stack of sketchbooks on the table where they’ve been rotting for weeks, and the pressure in my chest is so full that I can barely exhale. So I pick up my phone.
The team’s back tonight — Gianna said the bus gets in around eleven. It’s ten-forty.
Me: Are you back?
Theo: Just got back. Rough one.
Me: Do you need a ride?
Theo: Yeah? Cool.
I grab my keys back off the counter, and finally, the pressure starts to alleviate.