Chapter 33
Lucy
I take the fastest shower of my life. I’m a guest here, so the last thing I want to do is take all the hot water.
I’m in and out in under three minutes. I towel off in the steam and pull on the t-shirt and the pajama shorts I left folded on the closed lid of the toilet, and I let myself out of the bathroom before the steam has cleared.
The bedroom is warm, or maybe that’s just my heart when I walk in here. My phone’s face up on his bed where I left it. I walk over and pick it up.
Penelope: Hey, how did it go? Me: It was really good. I’m staying:)Penelope: Yay for you, but boo for : I know. Thanks for offering your place. I hope you find a good roomie.Penelope: I’m happy you guys figured it out. Let’s hang out this : Okay. Text me.
When I scroll through my other notifications, there’s a missed call from my mom. And she left a voicemail. I tap to listen to it.
“Hey, honey. It’s Wednesday, so I thought you’d be coming by today. I was just — I’m just calling to check in with you to make sure everything’s okay. I can’t remember the last time you missed a Wednesday, but I bet you’re busy with school. Call me later, okay? Love you. Bye.”
The voicemail is twenty-three seconds long, and it feels like a virtual hug. I listen to it again. I hadn’t known that she looked forward to Wednesdays because she hadn’t said anything about it until now. I stare down at the phone and zone out.
Tyr has changed her in ways I didn’t know was possible.
My weekly Wednesday drive over used to be dreadful, and ever since he showed up, it’s been enjoyable.
I hadn’t known that one person in your life could change everything.
I can’t believe I ever questioned his intentions.
He’s remained the same person I met from the beginning. I think he truly cares about her.
I open our text messages and type.
Me: Hi Mom.
I type. I delete. I type. I delete.
Me: Hi Mom. I’m sorry I didn’t come by today. I’ll come over this weekend.Mom: Hi honey. No worries. Let’s do dinner on Friday. Love you.
There’s a light knock at the bedroom door, so I look up.
“Hey,” Benson says as he pops his head in.
I wave. “In the clear.”
The door falls open, and then he grabs the towel hanging behind it. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Are you good?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
His eyes go down to my legs for a beat. They come back up. He clears his throat. He walks out of the room and closes the door behind him.
I pick the phone up again and try to think of what to reply to my mom. She’s not a big texter or phone person, so to see her leaving me a voicemail and texting me is different.
I type.
Me: I’m glad you and Tyr are doing well.
I look at it, then delete it because it sounds like a sentence from a Hallmark card.
Me: I’m glad about Tyr.
That reads odd too. I delete it.
Me: I’m really happy you’re happy. I’ll see you Friday. Love you.
I send it before I can talk myself out of it, and I put my phone aside.
The bedroom door opens a few minutes later, and Benson is wrapped in a towel. It’s low on his hips. His hair is wet and pushed back. It’s like déjà vu all over again. My heart slams against my chest when I look at his really good body.
He walks to the dresser and pulls a clean pair of boxers out of the top drawer.
He keeps his back to me. He pulls the boxers on under the towel like he’s done it a million times before.
Then he puts on his shorts. He undoes the towel around his waist and hangs up on the hook on the back of his door.
He crosses the room with his t-shirt in his right hand and his hair dripping onto his shoulders.
He sits on the edge of the bed next to me with the t-shirt still in his hand.
He looks at me and asks, “Tired?”
I nod.
He pulls the t-shirt over his head and says, “Let’s get into bed and cuddle.” He gets under the covers on his side. He holds the blanket up for me. I crawl over and slide under it on my side, and he closes the covers over both of us and clicks the lamp off. The room goes dark.
My head finds the space on his shoulder comfortably, and my body folds into him. He kisses the back of my head.
“Thanks for staying another night. I could get used to this.”
I smile. “Well, I’m no longer kicked out.”
“Yeah,” he says, pushing my hair out of his way. “You could have stayed home, unpacked, hung out with G, but I’m glad you came here instead.”
“Me too,” I admit, but it has me thinking about Gianna right now.
I know she doesn’t like to be alone, and I hope she apologized because it was the right thing to do, not because it inconvenienced her.
“Do you really think that we’re –– I mean Gianna and I are going to be okay with…
” I trail off because I don’t know what me and Benson are. If we are anything.
He doesn’t even hesitate when he answers, “Yeah, I think we’re in the clear now.”
“Yeah?” I ask, feeling happy to hear that.
“Yeah.”
I am bracing for him to say something else, but he doesn’t.
I’m dying to know if I mean anything more to him than whatever this is.
He keeps showing up and acting a certain way, but I don’t know.
Maybe I shouldn’t complicate things in my head.
And like he can read my mind, he leans in and kisses the side of my cheek slowly.
It’s exactly what I needed to stop my racing thoughts.
“Goodnight, Lucy,” he whispers.
I grin. “Night, Benson.”
He is doing the long slow Camdenthing of someone who is going to be asleep in under five minutes.
And I’m still wide awake. I shift against him, feeling the way his body is pressed against mine.
I arch my back to get more comfortable and without me meaning to, I feel him — fully — against me through his shorts.
The Camdenth behind my ear changes. It doesn’t seem like he’s near sleep at all. His hips press against mine, and I feel a semi against my ass. His hand on my waist slides over to my hip slowly.
I press back again. He pushes forward. He feels so good against me.
I lean into it. We do this back and forth in the dark for a long minute until I realize that we’re both pressing against each other with such force that every other part of our bodies is moving away from each other.
He’s fully hard against me now, and we’re pushing hard deliberately.
His fingertips on my hip go still, then they slide down my thigh.
Up, then back down. His hand slides up under the hem of the t-shirt at the bottom, and his fingertips graze my stomach.
He cups the bottom of my Camdenst. His thumb traces the bottom curve of it.
My heart’s racing under his touch. I let out a loud exhale, and then I turn my head into his shoulder.
He grabs my chin to hold me there and kisses me.
The kiss is slow. His lips are thick and gently sucking on mine.
He’s in no rush. His tongue slides in my mouth, and I start to feel dizzy.
He presses against my ass again, and my mouth falls open.
He feels so good against me. I roll onto my back, and his weight comes down on me slowly.
His hand is still under my shirt, rubbing and squeezing my boob.
His other hand finds my hair. I get my hand on the back of his neck. The hair at the nape is still damp.
He pulls back to look at me. The lamp is off, and the only light is the strip through the curtain. I can see his face in pieces in the dark. He’s looking at me.
“Do you want to?” he whispers.
I know what he means, so I nod.
He kisses me again. Then he kisses my chin, my jaw, the side of my neck, the curve of my collarbone through the open V of the t-shirt.
He pushes the t-shirt up to my ribs. He kisses my stomach.
He kisses the soft skin below my ribs. He pushes the t-shirt over my head with both hands and drops it off the side of the bed.
He kisses my sternum. He kisses my left Camdenst then my right.
He takes the nipple in his mouth, and I make a sound at the back of my throat as I grab his hair.
He’s in no rush. This man knows he has the entire night.
He pulls his t-shirt over his own head one-handed and drops it after mine. His chest comes back against mine in the dark, and the warmth of his skin on mine is the warmest thing I have felt all day.
His hand slides down over my stomach. It goes under the waistband of my shorts. His fingers find me already wet.
He Camdenthes against my collarbone. “Baby.”
He runs a hand up to my mouth before I can respond, and I suck his finger into my mouth. With his hand in my shorts, he inserts a finger. My body tenses as he slides in. I release his finger and let out a soft moan.
“Lucy,” he whispers. “Baby, you feel so good.”
He pulls out and then inserts two fingers, and this time, I moan louder.
He drops his hand and pinches my left nipple.
A shockwave rolls straight to my core. I open my mouth and try to Camdenthe through it, but it feels so good.
He kisses my mouth in the dark. His tongue explores my mouth.
He keeps the rhythm in his hand the same. He is watching me in the dark.
“Benson,” I moan.
“Yeah?”
I clench. “It feels so good.”
He continues moving his fingers around inside of me, and every time he does, I don’t know how to Camdenthe. It feels so good. He continues for a few minutes, and then he pulls out. He kisses me and stays close until I catch my Camdenth.
He moves down between my legs. He pulls the shorts off without making a thing of it. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband. He drops them off the side of the bed. His mouth comes back to mine. His hand is on my hip. He is between my thighs in the dark, and I can feel him through his shorts.
“Is this okay?” he asks.
I nod. “Don’t stop.”