Chapter 10 #2
Crew looked at Amira, swaddled in my arms.
“You good now pretty baby,” Crew stopped mugging instantly. “They came over here disturbing you, huh, mama? That’s why I told your mama not to come back over here.”
He looked up at me.
“Why the fuck are you not at least at your mama’s house, P?”
“Because my mom’s boyfriend smokes cigarettes, and she doesn’t need to be around that shit.”
“She doesn’t need to be over here, period.”
“That’s what I said,” Princeton added his two cents in, even though he was happy that I came back originally.
“They scared you, Daddy girl? Huh? I should’ve killed them for scaring you. I should’ve shot them in their heads for fuckin with y’all.”
Crew was saying some of the most violent shit in a baby voice, which showed how crazy he really was. He was, however, being so soft with Amira, and I was staring at them like a movie meant to make you cry. That shit had me emotional, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.”
I gave him the baby and walked into my bedroom and closed the door, falling onto the bed. The door soon twisted open, and Crew came inside, with Amira in his arms.
“Get out, Crew, I just need some time to be by myself right now.”
“Why do you want to be to yourself when I want to be there for you?”
“Yeah, when you want to. You did that shit again by not coming home, and it shows you don’t care about anything that happened to us.”
“That is not the same because I knew you were good with Hov and Ciara. You know he wouldn’t let the Navy Seals on that block right now. Plus, I had plans to come back to you. Some snake ass shit just happened, and that’s what kept me from coming back.”
I felt him sit on the bed beside me. There were no covers or anything on it because those same bitches that Crew just ran from my door, I’m sure are the ones who trashed my apartment after the baby shower and poured bleach over everything I owned.
Just even thinking about that shit made me wish he had used real bullets on at least one of their asses.
Only I didn’t really need my baby daddy to go to jail.
“Yo, sit up and look at me, Pernelle. Sit up.” Crew shook my leg with his free hand until I sat up on the side of the bed next to him.
“What is it?”
“Look, I don’t want you over here because the next time somebody fuck with y’all, I’m guaranteed to have to see my baby from behind bars for the rest of my life.”
“So, I guess I’m supposed to go stay on Hov and Ciara while you dip in and out fucking with your lawyer bitch.”
“Lawyer bitch?” He repeated with his eyebrow raised, playing crazy like he didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about.
“Yes, I know who you are seeing Crew, and you could’ve just been honest about that. But no, you want to play the game like you want to step up when actually you just want your pussy and to eat it too.”
He laughed through his nose at my reference.
“First off, I was only over there with her that night because you played with my emotions in the restroom, telling me to go finish with a fuckin Judge Judy. I’m a man, and I have needs, so I went over there.”
“Don’t act like that’s the only reason why Crew. You probably like the bitch, and not admitting it is doing more harm than good. Just admit that you do and stop trying to play me. If this coparenting shit is ever going to work, then you have to be honest, like you want me to be with you.”
“Of course I want it to work.” He looked down at Amira, who was cooing so much it was like she was putting in her two cents, too.
“Alright, P. Look, Bria and I haven’t been dealing with each other long enough for me to know what the fuck we are or will be.
I do like her, but I can’t say we're getting married or no shit. Plus, she pulled some shit that turned me off the other day, which led to you being over here in the first place.”
“How?”
“Long story short, she turned off my alarm, I set to come back to Hov’s and that is why I overslept.”
He just gave me more of a reason to not like this Annalise Keating ass bitch.
“So right now, I’m deciding to put my priorities in order, which is you and Amira.” He called her by her name, and I almost shed a tear again from that alone.
“You don’t have to lie and say that I’m a priority Crew. I know you only care about her.”
“That’s not true.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on my forehead.
“You and her are one and I care about you just as much. I have another baby mama, and I can’t stand that bitch, but I don’t want that to be our dynamics.
I fuck with you, Pretty P, and I’m not sure if it’s because she’s a girl, or what, but my connection with her is so strong I don’t like being away from her for too long. ”
“Well start proving it, Crew. Put your daughter’s well-being first. Before the streets, before any hoes, even before yourself.”
He nodded his head like he was listening to my every word.
“You're right, and I’m going to do that starting today. So, pack your shit you have here, and I’m going to search high and low until I find you a spot that's just as safe as Hov and Ciara’s spot.
But you don’t have to worry about being scared for too long anyway, we have plans in place to make sure y’all good and get the Quatar family off our backs. ”
“Yeah, I hope so. Speaking of, Amir did reach out to check on the baby. He shows he is one of the only good dudes on that side.”
Crew’s eyes squinted, his jaw tightening like he was biting down on something he didn’t want to say.
For a second, I wondered if I should’ve kept Amir reaching out to me to myself.
The way Crew was looking at me was screaming that I should have.
His jealousy and or envy was oozing from the glare in his eyes right now.
It did surprise me when I saw that he’d written me on Instagram early that morning.
Did the baby survive?
That was it. No extra words.
I stared at the message longer than I should have this morning, my thumb hovering over the screen while a hundred thoughts ran through my head. Part of me didn’t want to respond at all, but another part of me felt like I owed him more than silence after what he did for us.
I eventually wrote him back, telling him she was good, and I added a thank you at the end. The second I sent it, something in my chest loosened.
It felt fulfilling as hell, like saying it to him, even through a screen, mattered. Crew didn’t have to understand what I felt was right, only I did because I was the one inches away from death while bringing a baby into the world, inside a prison.
“So, you've been keeping in contact with him?”
“Not like that, Crew, he just wrote and asked about the baby. I told you he was a decent dude. I’m sure he’s not trying to hurt us.”
“I didn’t say he was.” Crew rubbed his chin hairs, looking like he was in deep thought. I don’t know why, but his jealousy in this moment made me feel important. Plus, the look on his face was so sexy. Especially with his eyes squinted and jaw muscles tight.
“But P, since he is in contact with you, that might help us out.”
“Crew, I’m not doing another murder for fucking higher plot with you. No, sir.”
“First off, I didn’t get paid for taking out Efunny, so how the fuck was that a murder for hire? Excuse my language, baby girl.”
He looked down at Amira.
"Second of all, I’m trying to make it so that we can walk around New York and breathe again without any issues. Now we're going to get them one day, regardless, but if we can link up with him, it will be even easier. Shid, it would help him out too since I’m sure they're after his ass as well.”
“Crew, since when do you want to help anyone out that is not one of your boys?”
“Since it benefits me just as much as it benefits him. Write him back and tell him that I want to talk to him on some G shit. That’s all you have to do.”
All I knew was my conscience, and my guilt couldn’t handle dealing with what I dealt with after Ebony died. I was all about Crew being who he was, but being pulled into it scared me.
What if my karma came back on my daughter? What if I ended up in jail for setting up some shit?
“What’s your plan with Amir?” I asked.
“Listen, the thing about the Qatar family is that they are secure. Just as secure as me, probably more, because shit, they found me. We’ve been trying to find their address through the medical system, but even that might not show up because we don’t know where the fuck they really live, or if they’re just using a dummy address.
So if we can get him on board to help us find them, then we can take their asses out and not have to worry about shit anymore.
And then you can go back to doing whatever you want around this bitch. ”
“I already do what I want.”
“Stop, Pretty P. You couldn’t even go outside without bitches on your ass. So with that being said, write that nigga and tell him I want to talk.”
“I don’t know, Crew. I hate to be involved in anything that could end up with me in prison. I have a daughter now.”
Crew sat the baby down on the bed before grabbing my wrist and giving me his full attention.
“Listen, I need you to be in my corner just how you want me to be in yours. I’m sure if Hov told Ciara to do something, she wouldn’t ask any questions.
I hear you on that appreciation shit. Hell, as much as I hate to admit it, I appreciate the nigga too.
But think of who your loyalty should lie with the most. That’s unless you fuckin that nigga too. ”
I rolled my eyes because he sounded crazy. I could see from the way his jaws clenched that I had concerned him because I didn’t respond.
“Hold on, you did, P?’
“No, I didn’t, Crew. I was in active labor when I was with him, don’t forget.”
“Well then, you don’t have any connections to him besides loyalty, and that’s what I’m trying to give him too. I wouldn’t fuck him over if I’m telling you I’m not. Unless he comes on that, I won’t be on that. Do you understand?”
“I hear you, Crew.”
He got inches away from my face, and the way he was staring into my soul was both intimidating and attractive to say the least.
“I asked do you understand? I know you can hear me, P.”
“Whatever, Crew. Yes, yes, I understand, and I guess I can reach out to him and see what he says.”
“That’s all I asked you to do with your stubborn ass. You only listen to a nigga when I’m a foot deep in your pussy bouncing around.”
I giggled without even trying to, and then instantly wanted to change the subject.
“So, what are we about to do now?”
“You and I are about to pack my baby up, and you are going to take your ass back over to Ciara’s house. Then in the morning we will get up and look for somewhere to stay. But wherever we decide to live has to be right. We are not about to rush and move into a condo because you think it looks nice.”
“I’m not bougie. I mean, look where I live now.”
“Yeah, you are kind of in the slums,” he said, and I punched him in his arm.
Crew was the kind of guy I could already tell staying mad at for too long would be hard. His demeanor, his charisma, and his way with words, unfortunately, were going to be the kryptonite to my anger every time. I hated this shit. I hated him.
But deep down, I knew that hate was nothing, but passion and lust mixed up with frustrations because I wanted more, I just don’t think more would ever come between us.