Chapter 17
Crew
Three weeks later.
The good weather today only added to the freedom I felt, and today the park was filled with families like ours enjoying the breeze flowing through the grass and trees, cool enough to keep us comfortable.
I’d never been the type of nigga to just walk through a park and talk.
For most of my life, sex, weed, and meditating in my room was the only relief I knew.
Though that mediation was always going to be a part of my life, I had to find ways to find relief that could include my daughter.
We sent Amir off with fifty thousand dollars and appreciation for giving us the drop on his whole family and putting the entire Quatar family in the morgue.
After that, it was easy for me, my daughter, and my baby mama to enjoy things like the park, strolling, and living the life I created for us.
There was no hiding for now, no looking over our shoulders, and we were at peace.
I was done with beef because now I have much more to lose than street cred.
That conversation I had with Hov after the courthouse shooting was starting to make more and more sense to me every day.
He was preaching that night, even though I thought it was all bullshit at the time.
“Crew, you know Ciara said Mr. Frank died last week. He had a stroke and Ciara reached out to his daughter about the house, too, so we will see.”
“Oh yeah? So, you're not too good to stay in a house like that now?” I joked, and she laughed at me as she always did.
Pernelle seemed happy and all that mean-girl, Bronx survival shit was slowly withering away since she had the baby.
She seemed more in tune with her womanhood now, not always on edge, not always ready for war.
No longer moving as if life were a constant threat, and I liked to think I contributed to that a little, and that made me feel good that I was finally making her feel safe.
“For real though, P, whenever she gets back with us, we can make moves. I’m ready for it if you are.”
“Yeah, I am. That would be nice. I’ve been on Pinterest and TikTok looking at house renovations for the past few weeks. Everyone online was saying how stressful it is, but I don’t think I would be stressed. I’m not that picky about things like that.”
“Yeah, you are saying that now until it’s time to pick out floor colors and shit. Then I’m sure we will find out how picky your ass is.”
“Shut up,” she said, hitting me playfully like she always did.
We’d been staying at my place again, locked in with each other.
That was the most peace I’d ever felt there.
Even when I thought people didn’t know where I lived, it never felt like this.
Having a baby in my house made it feel whole, even though I didn’t know it was empty.
I’d even cleaned up the unit next door and listed it for rent to get that source of income coming in.
I’m going to list my apartment, too, once we find our new forever home.
We had hit about four laps around the track in the park, until I could see that Pernelle was getting a little sluggish with her walk.
“So, what do you want to do now?” I asked.
“I guess we can go home so she can take a nap. I honestly need one too.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a plan. I’m going to join y’all too.”
We walked along the sidewalk and back to the car.
As we loaded the baby into the car seat, my phone chimed, and from the notification, I knew it was an email. I checked it, and the subject line caught my attention immediately.
DNA RESULTS.
I made it a priority, after getting rid of the Quatar family, to put an end to the wandering about whether Gio was my real father or not. My mama called me, pushing for me to do it every day, up until the point where I also thought it was necessary.
When I opened the email, I didn’t feel nervous, I didn’t feel scared, I was just ready to know. I got in the car, cranked it and drove off with one hand and scrolled to the bottom of the message with the other until I came across the chart.
99.8% probability.
This nigga Gio really was my dad.
Pernelle could tell something had hit me.
“What’s wrong with you, baby?”
“Nothing, just found out that Gio is my real daddy.”
“Damn. For real? I didn’t even know you took the test. When did you take the test?”
There wasn’t much that Pernelle didn’t know about my life these days because I told her everything.
She was my confidant and main source of venting since she seemed to listen to me without judgment.
She knew how much I hated the idea of finding out if Gio was my dad.
She never tried to force me to take the test like my mama did.
She told me to do it when I felt it in my heart, which I did.
“I did it two weeks ago, at my mom’s house. We did the swab there and sent the shit in.”
“Oh wow.”
“Yep. According to this email, Gio is my father, but I don’t know. Something in my gut still doesn’t want a relationship with that nigga.”
“If you feel that in your gut, then listen to him. But I don’t know. Maybe talking to him will clear a lot of things up for you guys.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Is he still staying at your mama’s house?”
“Yeah. She is still nursing him back to health or whatever.”
“You know your mom is so sweet, Crew. She really sees the good in everything. I hope when I’m her age, I’m like that.”
“Yeah, shid, me too. But she also needs to rub off that positive vibe on her negative ass daughters; that’s for damn sure.”
She laughed, and I went into deep thought for a minute.
“You know what? I’m going to drop y’all off and slide over there for a minute. I don’t want to take y’all because I don’t want my daughter around that nigga yet. You know I’m picky about who I bring around my princess.”
“I am too. People are crazy. My mama got mad last week because I wouldn’t drop her off with her at my aunt’s house.”
“Let her and whoever else stay mad. That’s precious cargo back there.”
“You haven't ever lied.” Pernelle leaned over the seat and kissed me on my cheek before I turned and met her lips with one more kiss.
I dropped Pernelle and Amira off at home and then headed to my mama’s crib to talk to this nigga after I called ahead and made sure, he was there.
When I pulled up, Gio was already on the porch, shirt off, lying back like he was home. Next to him was a six-pack of Bud Ice and a couple of cans on the stoop that showed me he was probably already on his level.
I killed the engine and stepped out right before he stood up.
“What up, nigga?”
“Yo.”
He reached down and lifted a beer in the air.
“You want one?”
“Nah, I’m cool.”
“Come on, Slim. You know I got that text too, and I always wanted to share a beer with my son.”
“I’m not really a beer drinker.”
“That’s alright. Have one with me today. How many times can you say that you had a drink with your pops?”
He laughed and then sat back down on the porch, grabbing his phone.
I said fuck it to myself because I felt good for other reasons today, then walked up, grabbing the beer, before sitting down next to him. I cracked it open, took a sip, and this shit was nasty at first, but after a few more sips, it wasn’t as bad.
“So, what have you been on today, Slim?”
“Not much, just spending time with my daughter.”
“Oh yeah? She is precious. Your mama showed me a picture of her. I can’t believe I went from having no kids to having a grandkid this quick.”
“That’s how quickly life goes sometimes. I went from no kids to two in a day.”
I took another sip.
“Well, Crew, you know getting those test results earlier did something to me. It made me feel complete. I always thought something was wrong with me. Thought I couldn’t make kids like my brother, Papi. Even though he only made one, well, one that he claimed.”
“Oh, so you knew about the other one?”
“Yeah, and that’s why I didn’t understand him sometimes. He seemed obsessed with being a father. Just to a certain child, though.”
He shook his head.
“But you know what, watching Papi raise Hov, I always felt like if I ever had kids, I wouldn’t be as obsessed with fatherhood as he was.”
“What do you mean?”
“Papi’s ass would lay his life down before his son ever took accountability for his mistakes. I have never believed in that method of parenting, though, to be honest. Your mistakes are your mistakes once you are a teenager. You are no longer a helpless child.”
“So, you're saying that if your kid made a mistake, you would leave them out to dry?”
“Not out to dry exactly, but I don’t believe in carrying weight that isn't mine. That’s the only way to teach a child these days.”
“Nah, I have to agree to disagree. If my child fucks up, that’s on me too. I raised them, so that means I should’ve taught them better and I must’ve missed the mark on something.”
“Yeah, true, but that would be the difference between you and me. You raising yours from birth and I didn’t get the chance to raise you. The only blame I can take is giving you those genetics of a killer. You crazy just like your father.”
He smirked.
“But if I were around, I would’ve tried harder to make sure you weren’t like me. Being like me ain’t no good. They call you the Slim Reaper, and back then, they called me a snake.”
I didn’t respond, I simply stared out at the street, beer in my hand, trying to ignore that feeling that was forming in the pit of my stomach. Gio was talking crazy as hell, but maybe it was because of the beers and pills I’m sure he’s taking, getting mixed up.
“You know, son, my mama always tried to warn me about snakes, never knowing her own son was a fuckin snake himself.”
“Is that right?”
“Yep. I slithered my way around New York for years untouched. I couldn't be fucked with. Kind of like you.”
I tried tuning his ass out, looking up the street, half-listening to this nigga talk like he was losing his mind. That’s when I noticed a couple of all black cars coming down the block back to back, and they stopped in front of us.
“Who the fuck is this?”
I didn’t even have time to stand up before three men hopped out the cars charging towards us. Then four more came from different directions, treating this like a fuckin ambush.
“Police! Crewshon Banks, put your hands up!”
I looked over at Gio, and he had already stepped back to the side, watching them handle me while he cracked another beer open.
“What the fuck is this about?”
“You are under arrest for the Attempted Murder of Gio Matthews.”
“What the fuck?”
I looked back at him again, and he didn’t say anything. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t even pretend not to know what this was about.
“So, you really doing this shit nigga? You really set me up?”
“Son, I told you that your mistakes are your mistakes. I l thought after the test results, I might cancel all this shit, but they didn’t move me in that way. You tried to kill me little nigga, and you have to go lay down for that. Look at this as lesson number one I’m teaching you in fatherhood.”
I spit at him.
“Fuck you pussy.” I replied as my mama ran out of the house when she heard the yelling. She stumbled and fell down the steps because she was moving too fast. The worst part was, that nigga didn’t even try to help my mama up. He just let her lay there screaming my name.
“Mama! What's going on out here?”
Jas and my nephew soon came outside and helped my mama up, then they came to the car window but got pushed back.
“What happened, Crew?”
“Ask that nigga over there. He set me up!” I yelled through the car window.
“You fuck ass nigga! I knew my mama should have dropped your ass! I knew something wasn't right about you in the back of my fuckin head!” Jas started after Gio, but one of the police officers grabbed her back.
“Why did you do this, Gio!” My mama turned away from the car window.
“He had to learn Debbie. You didn't teach him, so I will.”
“You dirty bastard! Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t know he would do this.”
“I know, Mama, but that’s what I was trying to tell you. That’s what I was trying to tell you this entire time. Listen, call Hov, let him know what’s going on!”
“Okay baby, I will.”
The police got in the car and slammed their doors shut before driving off.
All I could think about at this moment was my daughter, my son, and Pernelle. They need me, and most of all, I need them, I just wish I had realized that before pulling the trigger on Gio.