Chapter 22
***
About two hours went by, and then I decided to text Crew.
Crew: What the fuck? Yo ass dumb as shit for being out in this blizzard. What’s the exact address?
I sent it to him, and I already knew he would come here with an attitude. That was just who Crew was. He would give you the shirt off his back, but he'd also remind you that you should've gone shopping first.
It took him about forty minutes to pull up, but when he did, he was in a Ford F-150, which is something people hardly ever saw him in.
The truck sat on huge snow tires, and the engine sounded loud and powerful enough to drive up Mount Everest if he wanted to.
I'm sure that's why he drove it tonight, or any other night there was a blizzard.
I watched him hop out, slamming it shut against the wind. He stomped through the thick snow toward me, his black hoodie already gathering flakes, and when he reached the car, Crew looked at me like I was insane.
"Cashmier," he barked, hands spread in disbelief, "You trying to kill yourself and your baby?"
"I had to get things done for us, Crew," I snapped back.
"I mean, it's just me because my mama is not really any help, and you didn't believe he was yours, so I had to do what I had to do."
"Well, I got the email from the clinic not too long ago. So all this dumb ass shit you're doing needs to be cut out. There's no fuckin' reason why I should be out in the storm right now, and neither should you or him. Where is he?"
"In the backseat. In his car seat."
"Well, hop out so that we can get in my truck. I'm taking y'all home, and you can get your car tomorrow when this shit lets up."
"Okay, that's fine," I said, gathering King's diaper bag and my purse from the passenger floorboard.
Crew opened the back door and lifted the car seat out with one hand, as if it weighed nothing. He didn't look at King, however, and focused on getting us inside his truck.
We weren't too far, but in this storm, it felt like miles. The streetlights glowed blurry through the thick sheets of snow, but his truck powered through it all in a way my Bentley truck wouldn't.
When he pulled up to the curb in front of my building, Crew hopped out, ran around the truck, and grabbed the car seat with a gentleness that didn't match his mouth.
I almost smiled seeing him step up already for his firstborn son.
I know he's having a baby with Pernelle, but even if it is a boy, it won’t be able to claim the title of firstborn son.
When we made it inside my apartment, I hurried over to the thermostat and cranked it up as soon as the door shut behind us. Crew shook snow from his hoodie, cursing under his breath.
"Damn, it's fuckin storming out there. I have to hurry back home before I get stuck in the snow. The higher it gets, even the F-150 won’t be able to make it through," he muttered, looking out the window.
"Crew, wait," I said, peeling off my gloves,
"I know you're not about to try to go back out in that. The news alerts said that by eleven, it will be zero visibility."
"Well, what am I supposed to do? I shouldn't have ever been out there in the first place."
"Well, what you could do for now is help get your son out of the car seat and help us get settled in. There is no need to just stand over there and gripe, Crewshon."
“I guess.” He rolled his eyes.
Crew slid the car seat over to the couch gently and then pulled the car seat cover from over King's head.
He looked at him for a few seconds without saying a word.
"What's his name?"
"It's King. I told you that."
"Well, I don't think I like the name King. It's kind of condescending if you ask me. If you want to be a king, you have to act like one, move like one, and think like one. I don't want niggas calling him King just because that's what his mom named him."
"So, what am I supposed to do, Crew? Change his name?"
"That's an option," he said casually.
"And what name do you think he should have?"
"I don't know. I have to stare at him first."
"Okay, well, come wash your hands and take him out of the car seat."
Crew sighed but got up. He went to the kitchen and started washing his hands, as if he were scrubbing in for surgery. The way he concentrated on the soap made me chuckle. I could tell he was making sure every single germ on his hands was off before he touched our baby.
Crew walked back over to the sofa and sat down in front of the car seat.
"How the hell do I unstrap this thing?"
"Here, I'll show you."
I took King out of the car seat and placed him in his father's arms, which were awkwardly positioned, and his body was stiff, but he was still careful.
The little knitted hat on King's head slipped off, exposing his thick, coarse hair.
Crew immediately got fixated on him, and right there, I saw the beginning of fatherhood settling in his stare. I think it has become real for him now.
"Damn," Crew whispered, trying not to disturb him because his eyes were closed for the moment.
"He has some big ass hands."
"Yep. I said the same thing," I grinned.
"He will be able to palm a basketball by the time he's five, shit, maybe even before then."
Crew put his finger inside King's palm, and of course, my clingy baby wrapped those tiny fists right around it.
"He got a strong grip on my finger, too. You strong boy?" Crew did that soft chuckle every dad has when they see their kid do something for the first time.
The way all this happened might've been a mistake and deceit on my end, but this moment right here is why I did what I did. I wanted my son to have a father and a strong father at that. If it couldn't be Hov, it had to be Crew. After all, he was my first love anyhow.
"You can leave if you want, but I don't mind you staying. Especially if you want to spend time with the baby."
Crew looked toward the window, and then he looked back down at King's face.
"I guess I have to crash here with you, little man," he said slowly
"Okay. I have leftover steak from the Steak House in the fridge. I can put it in the oven. You hungry?"
"Come on now, Cash, you know I'm always hungry."
"I know, and your son is too."
"That's because he is going to be big as a linebacker that plays for the Giants one day."
"Nuh uh, my baby is going to be the quarterback," I shot back with a huge smile on my face.
After months of feeling like the world was against me, having Crew here tonight felt right.
Maybe, just maybe, Crew and I could end up on good terms to the point that in the far future, we will end up living under the same roof.
Maybe even as husband and wife. But right now, I am just happy that he's here with us tonight.