14. Secrets & Speakerphones
Chapter 14
Secrets I got her home safe,” Lulu interrupts crudely, leaning her elbow into the chair’s armrest, getting closer to the phone, as if it were his face.
Milo sighs. “Hello, Lu. Am I on speakerphone?”
She leans on the opposite elbow, angling away from the phone. “Yes.”
“It’s fine. Bon, are you okay?” he asks me.
“I’m fine,” I answer. “I wasn’t without a ride for long. I hung out at work.”
There’s a silence before Milo asks, “At Rafe’s shop? Lu, did you know this?”
“I’m not her mom, Milo,” Lulu says. “And yes. No worries. I’ve already told her it was terribly irresponsible.” She gives a gagging motion.
Milo clicks his tongue. “Sarcasm. Nice.”
Lulu gives a sassy thumbs-up he can’t see.
“It’s not a crime to hang out where I work,” I chime in.
“Not after he closes,” Milo counters.
“Rafe just kept me company,” I argue. “He didn’t want me to roam around at night by myself. Maybe if my brother actually drove me ? — ”
“ Or it was just a ploy to get you alone,” a new voice adds over the phone.
I jump. Lulu lets out a peep of surprise. We raise eyebrows at each other.
“Are we on speakerphone?” I ask slowly.
There’s an awkward pause before a very precise, leveled, “Hi, Bonnie,” rings over the line.
I bite the corner of my mouth. “Hey, Harriett.”
Lulu shifts in her chair, crossing and uncrossing her legs, as if she can’t get comfortable.
“Harriett isn’t wrong,” Milo adds.
“And maybe …” Harriett continues.
I sink into my chair with my tongue lolling out, like this conversation is killing me. Lulu snorts.
“Maybe he’s pushing his luck as your employer. I bet it’s something we could look into.”
“Look into ?” I ask sarcastically. “What does that even mean?”
Milo sighs. “We’re not gonna report him or anything. Harriett’s just making a point?—”
Harriett sighs. “Lo?—”
Lo ? Lulu silently mouths to me.
I stifle a giggle.
“You were just mentioning the other day that you were worried about her,” Harriett finishes.
“Wait, when did this come up?” I straighten up in my chair, accidentally knocking my water bottle over onto the pebbles. I stand and tiptoe on bare feet over to where it rolled, wincing the whole way.
Milo lets out a strained sigh. “No, it was just … we were watching Big Bang ?—”
“You were watching Big Bang Theory ?” Lulu interjects.
“Since when do you like that show?” I ask, sitting back down.
Harriett clears her throat. “We watch it before bed?—”
“I don’t mind it,” Milo says.
I squint my eyes. “You hate sitcoms.”
“And television,” Lulu adds. “Pretty much all television.”
Milo groans.
“Maybe, sometimes , you don’t fully know someone,” Harriett says to me.
To me.
About my brother .
I can picture Milo’s palms in the air as he moans, “Listen, let’s just get back to Rafe?—”
“Maybe we don’t know Rafe,” Lulu interjects.
I side-eye her, and something in Lulu’s expression has changed. Her foot bounces in the air. Her face is confidently stoic, almost defiant.
I tongue my cheek. “Are we done discussing my boss?”
“Of course,” Milo says. “Sorry, you’re my baby sister and I?—”
“I’m gonna hang up on you, Milo.”
He chuckles. “Bon, really? That’s?—”
I press the screen to end the call and drop the phone into the chair’s mesh netting, crinkling over an old receipt from who knows when.
Lulu grins. “Cold.”
I pull my knees up to my chin. “He knows I’m joking.”
Mostly.
I love my brothers. But I’m twenty-one. I can make my own decisions. It’s bad enough Rafe doesn’t think I can stand up for myself. I don’t need my brothers making it worse.
The waves rush in, then back out again. They seem like they’re retreating more.
Hey, me too.
“Well, Harriett seems … nice,” Lulu says in the silence.
“She’s Harriett,” is the best I can do in response.
“How long have they been dating?”
“No clue. We all met her for the first time tonight.”
“And?”
“She likes to make her opinion heard,” I explain. “Milo defends it, even though I don’t think he holds the same views.”
Lulu clicks her tongue, spinning a long piece of black hair around her finger. “Why does Milo keep having relationships with people who suck? With people who barely know him?”
“That’s a question for Milo.” I pull at the chair’s loose thread and let it go. “Whatever. She’s probably nice behind closed doors or something. Then again, she insulted Rafe at dinner, so maybe she’s also a jerk.”
Lulu’s unusually quiet at that. I expect a laugh at least.
“Lu?”
“You know what? Screw her.”
I choke on a laugh. “What’s with the hostility?”
“You’ve always known what’s best for you. Why should this be any different? She doesn’t even know you. She definitely doesn’t know Milo. Or Rafe,” she adds.
I shake my head with a grin. “Come out guns a-blazing.”
“Am I wrong? Listen, you say Rafe is your boss only. I believe you.”
Her statement hangs between us like a heavy noose.
I shake my head. “Well … I mean … sort of … he says he doesn’t believe I’d stand up for myself in the future.”
“What does that mean?”
“Like, during sex, I guess? I mean, he’s not wrong. I can barely make myself vulnerable in my art.”
Lulu snorts. “Then, he should teach you.”
I hold my hands in the air. “That’s what I said too!”
We descend into laughter. I like the playfulness in it. It’s lighter than the conversation moments ago.
Lulu adjusts her position again. “If he … if you … I mean, could you?”
“Could I what?”
“If he … taught you? Could you do that? Without strings?”
I’ve never actually considered something like that. Lessons? Sex lessons? Is that even a thing people do? And could I? Would I?
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Lulu reaches out for my hand, and I slide my fingers through. She squeezes. “You know what? Prove him wrong then. You should go find someone else. Get yourself a summer fling. Forget about him.”
“Lu …” I say through laughter. “Come on.”
“Seriously. Let’s go out, find someone for you, and you can have the time of your life.”
“I … I don’t know.”
She pats my hand. “Think about it.”
I force a smile. “I’ll at least think about it.”
Honestly, I’d rather be stranded on Skull Rock than continue thinking about this. The idea of sleeping with someone random feels too vulnerable.
Didn’t I do that with Rafe though?
No, he wasn’t random.
But it’s not like we’ve discussed it much. I’ve barely had closure at all. Rafe would rather stab out his eyeballs than ever discuss Night Crawl again. He clearly didn’t want to discuss it tonight.
I meant every word I said though. That night, I’d wanted whatever Rafe had to offer, no matter what it looked like, and I’d want it again in a heartbeat. Secret and all.
I shouldn’t though.
He’s right. I can’t be like that.