18. Not Exactly Off-Limits
Chapter 18
Not Exactly Off-Limits
Bonnie
“Step over that rock. Cass, you’re gonna?—”
Cassidy slips on the slick rock at the entrance of Mermaid Lagoon. He falls directly onto his ass.
“OUCH.”
“Shh!” Peter and I hiss to Cassidy’s echoed moan, loudly reverberating through the cavernous area.
Milo bites his lip, trying not to laugh. Jasper shakes his head in exhaustion.
“I wish you’d told me we were coming here,” Jasper bemoans, gingerly stepping over the last of the rocks and onto the even ground.
He’s the only one of us wearing appropriate work boots. As Never Harbor’s dock captain, he wouldn’t be naive enough to wear sneakers, like Cassidy, or useless fashion boots, like me.
“If we’d told you we were going to sneak into Mermaid Lagoon, then you would have never come with us,” Peter says.
“Exactly,” Jasper answers dully. “What are we, teenagers? Sneaking into the lagoon?”
“Sometimes, I worry that’s the case,” Milo says, but even he’s still got a sneaky smile on his face.
My brothers and I aren’t troublemakers. At least not anymore. But sometimes, when we haven’t hung out in a while, Peter gets an idea snagged in his brain that we should have more adventures, regardless of the fact that Jasper is nearly forty and both he and Cass have kids on the way.
Mermaid Lagoon isn’t exactly off -limits, but I wouldn’t say it’s on- limits either. It’s tucked beyond The Hideaway, nestled behind the old bed-and-breakfast on the upper part of town. Locals know how to get here, but mostly, it’s a youthful rite of passage, as teenagers often come here to party, as was usual for my brothers in high school.
I’m surprised it’s empty tonight, given high school has officially let out. Graduating seniors are notorious for causing so much trouble and ruckus that Gary, the bed-and-breakfast tenant, has one finger on speed dial to Officer John at all times during summer months.
And yet here we are. Four grown men in their thirties and me at twenty-one, with Peter holding a handle of rum in each fist, Jasper clutching his bottle of whiskey, and Milo handling wine coolers for me and Cass. Milo isn’t much of a drinker, but he’ll dabble in Jasper’s whiskey. Cassidy cannot be trusted with his own alcohol—his fall being example number one—and my brothers refuse to let me carry my own. Apparently, they need to be gentleman, even to their sister.
Barf.
“We should have gone on the boat,” Jasper says.
“Then, you’d wanna fish,” Peter counters.
“Exactly. I like fishing.”
“But Bonnie didn’t want to fish,” Peter answers.
“The little sister has a say too,” Cassidy adds in with a grin, rubbing his tailbone.
I roll my eyes. “Little? Please.”
I’m newly invited to these brotherly retreats. I guess once I turned twenty-one, they felt it was finally safe to include me. I always assumed it was a boys-only thing, but turns out, Peter was heavily against exposing me to alcohol, even though they all drank at eighteen. I wonder if The Twins will be initiated younger than I was.
Sometimes, being the only girl is trash. If only they knew how reckless I’d truly been lately.
I haven’t stopped thinking about Rafe since our lesson a couple of days ago. I wanted to stay after work so bad on Friday, but it felt wrong to ask when I heard him tell Izzy that he needed to spend most of the weekend painting. Instead, I disappeared into my art shed to do the same after my family’s weekly Friday dinner.
I only created paintings of him. His eyes searing into mine. His neck of tattoos, sprawling over his pronounced Adam’s apple. His veined wrists and forearms, flexing as he curled his fingers into me.
I can feel his touch still sizzling over my skin. If I close my eyes, I can imagine his voice, rough and low against my cheeks. The cedar scent kissed onto my neck. The heady exhales, in tune with my own.
My brothers would freaking kill me.
That little piece of rebellion is so delicious.
Little sister, my ass.
Peter sets one of his handles of rum onto a smooth stone before popping out the stopper from the other one. He sighs into a satisfied smile.
“See?” he says. “Isn’t this nice? A sibling escapade.”
Jasper grunts, unstopping his own whiskey and taking a swig.
Milo, setting down the coolers next to Peter’s rum, reaches into his back pocket for his book.
“No!” Peter takes it and tucks it into his own back pocket.
Milo huffs out a surprised laugh, pushing his horn-rimmed glasses up his nose.
“No reading,” Peter instructs, raising his rum in a toast. “Just drinking and fun.”
“I think reading is fun, Pete.”
Peter shakes his head. “But you’d never read at The Hideaway when you’re around people. It’s rude.”
“Yes, but you’re my brothers. Can’t I be more relaxed around you?”
“No,” Peter says mulishly.
Milo chuckles. “Fine. Tyrant.” He gestures for the book which Peter hands back. Milo tucks it back into his own pocket. “Pass me that whiskey, Jas.”
Jasper extends it out, and Milo takes a swig.
“Let’s catch up,” Peter says. “We never all get together. Cass, how’s Marina?”
Cassidy laughs, removing a wine cooler from the carrier and twisting off the top. “She’s pregnant. And I miss her.”
“Lame,” Peter says with an eye roll. “Jas, what’s new?”
“I also have a pregnant girlfriend.”
“Ugh,” Peter moans. “Milo? Have you knocked up anyone lately?”
Milo chuckles. “I’m too busy reading , remember?”
“But you’re dating Harriett.”
“And anything else is none of your business,” Milo answers with a laugh.
“Fair enough,” Peter says. “Bon?” But he freezes, cringing. “Well … actually, no.”
“You don’t want to know if I’ve knocked anyone up?” I ask.
Milo and Cassidy chuckle, and a smile peeks through Jasper’s thick beard. Peter shifts from foot to foot with a playful grin.
“Is this what you guys talk about?” I ask. “Conquests? No wonder you didn’t invite me.”
Jasper shakes his head. “No, we definitely don’t talk about that.”
Peter shrugs, averting his eyes to a blank spot on the cavernous wall, dripping with tiny beads of water.
“Right,” I say slowly, grinning. “I guess that would be awkward, given …”
“Shut up,” Peter interrupts with a smirk.
Jasper shakes his head and chuckles a little.
It’s kind of hard to discuss dirty details when one brother is having a child with another brother’s ex-fiancée. It’s been a long time since that occurred; it’s been even longer since Peter and Wendy dated. It’s something we can all laugh about now, but I guess certain lines are still drawn in concrete.
“Well, we definitely won’t talk about that stuff when you’re here,” Cassidy says with a laugh.
I scoff. “What? You guys can share, but I can’t?”
“You’re our baby sister,” Peter says, scrunching his nose.
“I’m not a baby ,” I insist. “I can?—”
They all erupt in various exclamations of, “No,” “Stop,” and, “Ugh.”
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re Virgin Mary,” Jasper grunts.
I tip my chin up. “Fine. I wouldn’t want to tell you anyway.”
It’s not a lie either. Having my brothers find out about what happened on Rafe’s couch would be mortifying. I’m embarrassed for myself a bit, given how … excited … I got. But that embarrassment sheds away to pure thrill when I remember that it was me straddling the lap of the mysterious artist in Never Harbor. It’s a happy secret, tightly wrapped around my soul.
“You know, you can’t just be with anyone,” Peter says. “You’re special.”
“Oh, like all the women you take home?” I snort.
“They’re special too,” Peter continues, even though Cassidy barks out a laugh. “They are,” Peter presses on. “It’s different though. I’m not right for them.”
“Who are you right for?” Milo asks.
Peter hesitates, his boyish grin slowly, moment by moment, seeping off his cheeks. “Nobody, probably.”
I exchange a quick look with Milo, who clears his throat and says, “That’s not true.”
Peter shakes his head, as if ridding himself of the thought, before plastering a smile back on his face. “That’s beside the point.” He gestures to me with his bottle neck. “Listen, Bon, if a guy were to not treat you as special, trust me, we’d know.”
“How?” I ask, deadpan, placing my hands on my hips. I have to contain my smirk.
They wouldn’t know.
“I know people,” Peter says through a grin.
“He does,” Cassidy says.
I wish I didn’t agree, but owning The Hideaway makes Peter the most well-connected guy in town. He’s a staple, almost as much as his restaurant is. But who cares?
“I’m just saying, I’d know,” Peter continues. “And I’d kill ’im.”
I laugh at Peter’s joke, but as he takes a swig of his rum, a glint of something else shimmers in his pale green eyes.
I always assumed it would be Jasper, with his rumored red eyes and overprotective temper, coming to my side to wreak havoc on future boyfriends. Cassidy would too. He spends enough time at the gym that he could intimidate a grizzly bear. Even Milo would be quick to give words that cut.
But Peter is playful. He’s fun. He’s everyone’s pal. I only see him get serious when he’s at The Hideaway, where he’s in command. He’s very responsible when he wants to be. But being protective? I never considered it, but suddenly, it doesn’t seem so far-fetched.
But that’s fine.
Rafe doesn’t date.
We’re not a thing .
My heart clenches at that idea just as much as it flutters, but it’s okay. I know our deal. I don’t have to define it. I’m an adult. Not the baby. Not the sweet little Davies girl.
Nobody ever has to find out.
I didn’t realize how silent it’d gotten until Cassidy barks out a laugh, which echoes against the lagoon walls.
“You’re our baby sister, Bon,” Cass says. “We all get a little crazy when it comes to you.”
“I’m not though,” I say. “Not anymore.”
I instantly recognize that I’m too insistent because Milo levels a gaze at me, squinting, as if trying to read my mind. He’s my most perceptive brother, but he averts his gaze, not saying a word.
I swallow and grab a wine cooler.
Suddenly, a light shines from the entrance wall of the lagoon.
“Shit,” Peter hisses.
“Is someone in here?” It’s Gary’s distinct, shaky, older voice carrying into the lagoon. His flashlight beam darts from one wall to the next, stopping on our small crew.
Jasper throws a lazy hand in the air. “Hey, Gary.”
“Want some rum?” Peter asks, extending a bottle.
Gary finally comes into view, his mustache tilted downward.
Cassidy runs over to assist him across the rocks, but falls again in the process with another, “OUCH.”
“It was you I heard,” Gary says, his face scrunching tighter.
Cassidy whines in affirmation.
“Get out,” Gary snaps. It’s gruff, like an old, exhausted dog huffing through their beard. “Out, you Davies kids. Or I’ll call your mother.”
Despite being adults, we all move just a little bit faster. Peter and Cassidy exchange beaming grins. I bite my lower lip to hold in a laugh, looking at Milo, who smiles in return. Even Jasper snorts as we scurry out of Mermaid Lagoon and to another part of town with our drinks in tow.
My brothers might think they’ll find out about me and Rafe, but they’re wrong.
They’re the ones who taught me how to sneak around in the first place.