Chapter 18 Daisy #2
His eyes slammed closed like he couldn’t handle what I was admitting.
“And then I had my children, and I got a spark of that life back. And I need to know they’ll be safe.
I know what I’m asking is so much. Too much.
But when it comes to my children, too much doesn’t exist. I’ll do anything or ask anything, even if it makes me pathetic and a beggar.
I need to know if something happens to me, they won’t be taken into the foster system, or God forbid, end up with that monster. ”
He opened his mouth like he was going to refute what I said, so I rushed before he could speak, “And I know you’re going to stop that from happening. I believe you, and I trust you. But I need this assurance. And once you find him and you…” I trailed off, unable to say it aloud.
The truth of this base, brutal act he promised to commit.
One that maybe made me a horrible person because I hoped that he did.
“Then we’ll leave and let you live in peace, and I promise, I won’t ever ask you for anything else.”
Torment wound around him, and I scratched my nails gently across the hot skin of his chest.
“Please,” I whispered.
A long groan left him, and he opened to me, those eyes swallowing me down as he stared at me through the fluttery, flimsy light.
His being all around.
The man towering.
A dark cloud.
A perfect cover.
He pressed my hand even closer. His voice was the softest I’d ever heard it. “Never could say no to you, could I?”
Relief slammed me. So sharp that I bowed forward and the air heaved from my lungs.
“Are you…saying what I think you are?”
“Guess I am.”
“Thank you. I know it’s not enough, but it’s all I can give you right now.”
He dipped his hazel gaze to ensure I was looking at him.
Like I could look anywhere else.
“Told you I owe you everything.” Grief poured out of him.
I searched his face. “That’s not why I’m asking this of you.”
“Then why me?”
He wasn’t going to like what I had to tell him, but I needed him to know, anyway. Because he was the one who had brought me out of my shell. Made me look at myself when I felt small and insignificant and unloved.
Lost in a world where there was no place for me.
And with Cash, I’d found a place.
For once in my life, I truly belonged.
“Because you’ve always been the best person I know. The one who saw a shy girl whom everyone else discarded and believed something great in her.”
His thumb ran over the back of my hand. “I’ve got news for you, Daisy. You are great.”
I bit down on the inside of my cheek to stop the flush. “I want to be great for my kids, Cash. I do. And I’m starting here, with you, because you are the only person I could imagine raising them if I don’t have the honor to.”
“It’s not comin’ to that, remember?”
“I know.” I couldn’t stop the smile that tweaked the edge of my mouth.
He exhaled a weighty breath. “What does this look like?”
He was so close I was having a hard time concentrating. Having a hard time making sense of what the intention was.
“I don’t know. We get married, and I guess I make a will stating my wishes, that way if something were to happen, there would be no question who I want my children with. And if Ethan shows his face and tries to get custody…”
Legally, I had no idea, but there had to be a way. An attorney who would know what to do. I just needed Cash to agree to the plan first.
He took my hand and lifted it, inspecting my ring finger. “So, I have to pretend to be in love with you? Put a ring on your finger?”
The air thinned and my pulse raced. “Yes.”
It’d be easy for me.
Pretending to love this man who stole my heart years ago. Was it ever really that for him?
“Then I bury your husband, and we divorce?” Those words came harshly. Like he was asking me for my commitment.
“Yes.” The word was shaky.
Disbelief hitched his mouth. “You think that sounds like a solid plan?”
He was right.
What could possibly go wrong? Honestly, it was a terrible idea.
Reckless and rash.
But I had no other options.
I never knew my father, and I lost my mother so long ago.
And it wasn’t possible to consider Hadley.
My sister and I were barely beginning to rebuild our relationship, and I knew she wasn’t in a place to take on something like this.
She’d been swallowed by drugs and had abandoned me when I needed her most.
As much as I’d like to, I couldn’t trust her to stay clean.
God, she was such a mess, I didn’t even want to bring her up to Cash.
And Ethan had kept me secluded from anyone else. I hadn’t realized what he was doing until it was too late.
“It’s the only plan I have.”
“Paperwork will be the easy part. Have ways on the backend to rid him of any right to those kids.”
A frown marred my brow. “How?”
“Let’s not worry about that.”
“I’m worried about everything,” I admitted.
“It’s part of what I do, Daisy. Hacking into people’s lives and twisting them into whatever I want them to be.”
There was a huge confession there.
I had so many questions, and of course, I wanted to ask him for details. For him to fully open up. But I told him I trusted him, and I needed to trust him with this.
“Okay,” I whispered.
He softened, and the pad of his thumb slowly traced up and down my hand. “Don’t want you to worry, Daisy. You deserve the world, and I once promised I’d give it to you. I plan on making that happen.”
My breath hitched, remembering the first time he made me that promise.
We stayed like that for the longest time. Drifting closer and closer.
Cash’s eyes on me. His skin hot and mine flushed.
I wanted to sink all the way in.
“My Little Wallflower,” he murmured.
“Heartbreaker,” I whispered back.
I could feel the tweak of his smile. Wistfulness winding through. Ribbons of our hopes and dreams twining through the energy that would forever keep us connected.
Though we both were chained by the regrets and the grief, so heavy they kept us apart.
Cash seemed to have to pry himself away, and he took a lumbering step back, sorrow and something that looked far too close to need on his face. “Think it’s time you go back to your room.”
“I…”
“Go back to your room, Daisy.”
“It’s your room.” Was it wrong I wanted him to share it with me?
As if he knew exactly what I was thinking, he reached out and traced his fingers along my jaw. Tender, though his voice was hard. “Don’t tempt me. You don’t want what I’ve become.”
My mouth parted. Because I realized right then how much I did.
How I wanted it.
Him.
His past and his present.
Somehow, I forced myself back, turning for his door. I paused outside it. I could feel his gaze pelting into my back, and I looked over my shoulder.
At the silhouette of the man.
A vibrating giant in the middle of the room.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Because I knew that Cash would always be the only one who would really take care of me.