Chapter 38 Cash
THIRTY-EIGHT
CASH
“Thank you so much for having us.” Daisy kept the words quiet as she squeezed Emery’s hands.
We’d stayed for fucking ever. Darkness gathering at the windows and the night growing long.
After playing outside for hours, the kids had insisted on a movie, and now every single one of them was asleep in the family room.
Little slumbering bodies littered all over the place.
On the left side of the sectional, Addy and Maci were on the cushy couch under a blanket. Nolan was draped off the far-right side’s arm like he’d fallen asleep halfway crawling over the top of it, and Colin was splayed out in the middle with one leg hanging off.
Eva and Finn were snuggled on a blanket on the floor, both on their sides and lying so close to each other their little noses were almost touching.
My chest tightened. Tightened in a way I couldn’t let it.
The fact that Daisy was all wrapped up in the girls made it a hundred times worse. Their voices lowered as they whispered like they’d been friends all their lives.
“We love that you were here,” Emery returned.
“And know it will be on repeat a thousand times over because you are now one of us.” Even with the hushed words, there was no missing the sass that remained in Raven’s tone.
My spirit thrashed at the claim.
A violent beat of refusal and a vicious clawing for surrender.
All of them were getting so deep under my skin I couldn’t make sense of it. This feeling that swept through me every time I heard one of their little voices.
Daisy peeked at me then, where I stood off to the side. Shifting on my boots and not fucking knowing what to do with myself since I never did this. Hanging out all day like I was an intrinsic part of this family and not someone who was only meant to be hovering in the periphery.
Playing.
Participating.
Stepping into places where I didn’t belong.
It was brutal, knowing I was only committing a thousand more sins by enjoying it. Slipping into the comfort.
But fuck. That’s what it felt like.
Like I belonged here with Daisy and the kids.
So fucked up.
Charleigh stepped up and hugged Daisy tight. “We’ll see you really soon.”
Daisy nodded, though it looked like she wasn’t sure that she should commit to it.
Daisy shuffled over to Addy, and she softly nudged her arm. “Hey, sweet girl. It’s time to go home.”
Home.
Fuck.
Addy blinked her eyes open, groaning in confusion before she gave her mother a giant pout. “Already?”
Daisy laughed a soft sound. “We’ve been here the whole day. I’m sure we’ve outstayed our welcome.”
“There is no such thing,” Raven rushed.
“See, I can stay forever,” Addy said with a hopeful smile.
Tender affection rolled from Daisy. “You’ll see them again soon.”
She sounded surer that time. Like maybe she was coming to her own conclusion. Like maybe she was getting wrapped up too and wanted to believe in this dream. Like this was going to last forever when it had to come to its end.
Or maybe she was only succumbing to the idea that she had no chance to outrun her ex, not realizing the lengths I would go for her.
Addy huffed but sat up and slipped on her sandals before she went to grab her bead kit from the table.
Daisy moved to Colin and prodded him, too. Only the kid was completely out. Limbs limp and body slack.
There was no stopping the thing that overcame me.
This feeling of possession.
One of duty and loyalty and something far greater than that.
Trying to keep my boots quiet, I shuffled that way. “I’ve got him,” I mumbled low, and I carefully picked him up and tucked his chest against mine. He mumbled a discordant, unintelligible sound before he rested his head on my shoulder and snuggled closer.
My heart twisted in the way it’d been doing all day.
Something getting mutilated inside me every time I pulled one of them into my arms. This foolish notion taking me hostage that maybe they belonged there. A lie murmuring in my ear that maybe I was created for something far more significant than I’d given myself credit for.
Daisy’s gaze softened as she looked up at me, biting at the inside of her cheek before she seemed to give and moved over to Eva and picked her up.
Daisy muttered a few more goodnights before we all moved down the corridor.
I reached out and opened the door.
My brothers were out on the porch, conversing beneath their breaths about something that was likely Sanctum business since they clipped off the second we stepped out.
Or maybe they were only gawking at me again.
Like they didn’t recognize me or what I was doing.
Seemed fitting considering I was having a hard time recognizing myself.
Everything scrambled and changed. Mind and spirit and soul getting distorted.
I jutted my chin at them. “We all good for tomorrow?”
I asked them to be present for tomorrow’s ceremony at the courthouse. Figured if I was doing this, I needed to make it look fully legit.
I procured the wedding license myself. Hacked my way in and forged the papers like the paperwork had been expedited to ensure we had what we needed with the short notice.
Once the decision had been made, action had been taken.
Could have made the marriage legal fully remote, a few brushstrokes and Daisy and I would be hitched, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to have the physical proof if it ever came down to what Daisy had asked of me.
My soul thrashed at the thought. No chance it would come to that.
I wouldn’t stand for it.
Wouldn’t let it happen.
“Four o’clock,” River confirmed.
“Ah, yeah, wedding bells are in the air. But we haven’t had the bachelor party yet. Should we head down to the club?” Kane offered, a goading tease written in his expression. “I have an old bottle of scotch with my crew’s name on it. We need to celebrate this momentous occasion.”
“Won’t be necessary since this is only pretend,” I grumbled, deflecting the suggestion.
Only something inside me howled with rejection.
Otto grinned like he was rejecting the idea, too.
Hell, every single one of them was looking at me like they knew I was full of shit.
Like they saw exactly what I was feeling as I stood there with this little family surrounding me.
Colin in my arms and Daisy right next to me with Eva in hers.
Addy leaned against my side for support, sleep calling her back.
“What’s pretend, My Giant?” she asked through a yawn, still clinging to that bead set I’d gotten her like it was her most prized possession.
“Nothin’, sweetheart,” I forced out.
I didn’t know which statement was the lie.
Beside me, Daisy inhaled a shattered breath, and I sucked it all down, dipping my chin in parting at the rest of the family while Daisy once again whispered a bunch of goodbyes and thank yous.
We trudged down to the waiting SUV. I opened the back door on the passenger side so Daisy didn’t have to do it, then I guided Addy around the rear on the opposite side.
She climbed in when I opened the door, then I nestled Colin into his car seat. Worked through his straps to buckle him before I tugged at Addy’s to ensure they were secure.
The whole time, I could feel the turmoil that wheeled around Daisy as she buckled Eva in. The energy that crashed and lapped and whispered old promises that should have been ours but now could never come to fruition.
My touching her last night had been nothing but a crime. Taking what had been cut off. Me severed from the goodness. A goodness that would have been mine had I remained clean.
But I’d tainted and destroyed and ruined that good.
I needed to remember it.
But knowing it didn’t do anything to arrest the greed that suddenly pulsed in the air. The darkness ushering it in like a secret dream. Memories of her taste and her scent and her soft fucking skin.
My cock jerked as I looked up to find her staring over at me. Her chest heaved, and her perfect tits pressed against the thin fabric of her tank.
Fuck.
She was gorgeous.
So stunning that my guts clenched and my fingers itched.
Wanting a replay of what had transpired last night.
It would be so easy to reach out and take what wasn’t mine.
Glut on it. Devour the sweetness that she was.
I did my best to cut off the dangerous train of thought and shut the door, but those treacherous imaginings came barreling right back as I rounded back to the other side of the SUV. Unable to stop my feet from taking the path to her.
Daisy’s soft floral scent wafted all around as I eased up behind her as she finished buckling Eva.
It was like breathing the sunshine in the darkness. Standing in the sun in the middle of the night.
A shiver rocked through her at my proximity. Battering swells of severity crashing between us.
“She good?” I asked, my voice raw and low.
“Yeah. She’s good,” Daisy whispered as she edged back, warily turning in my direction.
She was blocked in by my body. The door wide open and concealing her from my family who remained on the porch. Their voices nothing but distant rumbles.
Daisy’s eyes were wide. So fucking deep.
My hand twitched, and I lifted it and let my fingers slip along the contour of her jaw.
“Glad you were here.” I couldn’t stop the confession from blundering out.
Softness filled that understanding gaze, and her tongue stroked over her bottom lip.
Fuck. She didn’t have any idea what she was doing to me. How I was teetering on a quickly crumbling edge. Ground buckling out beneath me every time she did something adorable like that.
“You’re right. They’re the best people I’ll ever meet.”
“No one else like them,” I agreed.
She hesitated before she rushed, “Thank you for bringing us here.”
“Want you to know them.” Another admission I shouldn’t make. But it was there. A gong that rang with my truth.
She’d once been the most important person in my life, and it felt like the shattered pieces were coming back together as my past and present meshed.