Chapter 44 Cash
FORTY-FOUR
CASH
Never in my life had I been more anxious than right then. In this moment. Standing at the front of the courtroom with my crew, waiting for Daisy to come through the door.
I was dressed up in some bullshit that Raven had insisted I wear.
Fitted beige pants that were entirely too fucking tight and a white button-down shirt.
I had the sleeves rolled up my forearms and the first two buttons of the collar undone so something tragic didn’t happen on my wedding day like me suffocating to death.
Daisy’s children were piled on a bench with the rest of my family’s kids, all of them dressed up, too.
Kicking their little feet off the edge as they grinned and waved and fucking scored themselves a little deeper onto my soul. Theo sat with the lot of the kids like the sappy motherfucker he’d become, dude all too eager to volunteer to watch over them while the girls helped Daisy get ready.
Minus Little Luna, who was currently cuddled up asleep in Otto’s arms.
I shifted on my feet and swiped my hand across my brow to wipe away the beads of sweat that gathered at my hairline, wondering if it was possible that Daisy was actually gonna show after the way shit went down last night.
She’d be better off staying far the fuck away. Yet there was something that curdled my insides at the thought of her doing it.
“You look like you’re about to shit your pants,” Kane mumbled out of the side of his razzing mouth, loud enough so only my crew and I could hear.
“That’s because this nincompoop just realized he’s actually getting married today,” Otto said just as low and with just as big of a shit-eating grin. “Hence, the poop.”
Was he serious?
Like any of this was funny?
“I’m just fine,” I gritted through clenched teeth.
Otto shared a look with River and Kane. A silent toss of their eyes that called bullshit.
Assholes.
“It’s not fuckin’ real,” I grunted at them.
Otto squeezed my shoulder with his big mitt, jostling me around like it might knock some sense into me while he easily held Luna in the other.
“Oh, brother, the fact you’re sweating fuckin’ bullets and look like you’re about two seconds from puking your guts up all over the floor makes it plenty clear this is real. ”
“Temporarily,” I forced out.
Sure. The wedding was happening. It was the rest that was fake. Standing there pretending like Daisy and I were getting ready to pledge our lives to one another. Like we were starting that life together.
As if I’d ever get a gift like that.
“You sure about that?” River’s voice was full of a challenge. “Never have seen you this spun up.”
I roughed a hand through my hair. “Why don’t you have a girl ask you to marry her for the sole purpose of you ending up with custody of her kids since she believes her ex is gonna off her and see how you feel?”
Amusement arched his dark brow. “Sounds like another day in the life of being a member of Sovereign Sanctum.”
I didn’t have time to tell him to fuck off. To tell him what was happening here was entirely different than the rest of their circumstances.
Because the door swept open and Piper and Emery came through, each wearing pretty dresses that clearly came from Ivy Threads.
Charleigh stepped in behind them, then Raven.
Raven, who cut me a knowing glance.
Like she fuckin’ knew I was standing there shaking. So torn and messed up and unsure if what I was doing was right. If I was only making things a thousand times worse. Dragging them into my sordid world for even a minute when they’d been trying to get free from the debased and corrupt.
The girls joined the kids and Theo on the bench, then I was getting squeezes on my shoulders by the rest of my brothers as they moved to join them.
You know, since this was supposed to be a casual thing.
No biggie.
No wedding party or fanfare.
Just our family there as witnesses.
“This is a good thing, Cash,” Kane muttered low.
“Try not to pass out, brother.” That from Otto, the punk.
“You’ve got this, man,” River said with a clap to my back.
Did I?
Could I fucking handle this?
Because I was feeling my entire world splinter apart when the door slowly opened again.
Reticence curled through the air.
Thick and tacky.
Like she was as hesitant as me.
Before Daisy finally stepped all the way through.
Took everything I had not to drop to my knees.
The sight of her a punch to the gut.
Seeing her was like looking at heaven and seeing its beauty, but knowing you’d never fully get to experience it for yourself.
Wearing that dress that I impulsively picked out this morning, wishing some facet of this was true. Wanting her to feel beautiful and treasured the way she deserved to be.
The way she was destined to be.
Body hugged by that ivory material, every lush inch of her accentuated by the cut. High heels on her feet, making her appear a foot taller than her petite form.
Her cinnamon hair was done up in a pretty twist with a bunch of flowers tucked into the locks.
Makeup done in a way that she didn’t normally wear it.
Eyes rimmed in black and her lips glossy and pink.
Like my gorgeous Wallflower had stepped out into a spotlight.
But that was the way I’d always seen her. Like she was the sun. A beam of blinding light.
Those cornflower eyes pinned me to the spot as she stalled out just inside the door, holding a bouquet that undoubtedly had come from Moonflower. My family coming together to make her feel welcome and right.
But that’s what she was.
Right.
So fucking right that I felt like a blight just being in the same damned room as her.
I pinned her with my gaze as the connection we’d always shared rippled and tugged and screamed.
Shockwaves of it crashed between us like we were shores on opposite sides of the world.
In it, I sent her a million silent promises.
I will take care of you.
I will take care of your children.
I will fight for you.
I will love you.
Couldn’t believe the last thought would dare to invade, and I didn’t know if I hoped she could sense it or if I was terrified that she could see it plain as day.
If she felt the thundercrack of devotion that struck through the middle of me.
If she knew the lengths I would go.
Her throat tremored as she swallowed, and she lifted that gorgeous face and walked down the middle aisle of the courthouse like she was actually walking down it to marry the love of her life.
The one fate had created her to be with.
My insides toiled, my stomach a riot, my heart beating out of sync.
Breaths so short and jagged they were the only thing I could hear.
That and her delicate spirit that seemed to be floating out ahead of her. Swirling around and wrapping her in ribbons.
My best fucking friend.
A bunch of oohs went up from the kids.
“Mommy, you wook so pwetty!” Eva called from where she was now sitting on Charleigh’s lap.
“The prettiest!” Colin agreed.
“Shh, you gotta be quiet for the wedding,” Addy corrected.
Adoring laughter rolled out of everyone. Everyone smitten with these kids.
Including me.
Though my adoring laughter was choked as Daisy glanced at them with reverence before she turned her gorgeous face in my direction and made her way down to where I waited for her.
Those cornflower eyes on me as she approached on those heels. She barely twisted her right ankle to the side, almost stumbling, though she righted herself quickly.
I couldn’t help but smile. Affection pulsing wide and free. My girl who could never keep her balance. My Wallflower who was so fuckin’ perfect to me.
Our appointment was at four.
It was the very second Daisy and I turned to face each other when the bailiff opened the door for the judge to enter and asked everyone to rise.
I might have been standing, but I was floored. On my hands and knees.
I might as well have been crawling for her.
Chaos a fucking tornado inside me.
Howling at my ears and whipping at my spirit.
“You may all be seated,” the judge said as he sat. A judge who had no clue that he had five brutal murderers within the confines of his courtroom. Men who’d slain and meted the hand of justice when it wasn’t theirs to give.
But we delivered it, anyway.
The little we had to give this world offered in the viciousness of our hands.
But standing there today with Daisy in front of me?
With my family surrounding me?
People I never even had the right to meet? People who loved me and supported me even when I tried to deflect their care at every turn?
Today, that offering felt different.
Bigger.
More.
The judge adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses on his nose.
“We’re here today to join Cash R. Cunningham and Daisy P. Adair in legal matrimony?”
He phrased it a question.
The lump in my throat bobbed as I swallowed, and I ground out, “Yes.”
“Then let’s proceed.”
He looked up at the small gathering. Their faces full of smiles and anticipation. The women’s expressions full of joy and bated hope, like this whole thing felt bigger to them, too, though it was knowing speculation that was carved in my brothers’ features.
Their staunch support no matter what.
I couldn’t do anything but reach out and take Daisy’s free hand.
“Oh,” Raven whispered, and she leaned forward with a giant grin and took the bouquet from Daisy. “I’m apparently sitting down on the job.”
She gave a wink as she settled back onto the bench with Otto and her daughter at her side.
Daisy laughed a small, tinkling sound.
Emotion so thick.
Disorienting.
A haze that blurred my eyes and spun my spirit.
I took her other hand, too.
Our fingers twined.
Warmth spread at the contact.
The judge cleared his throat. “You are present here today to witness the legal binding of Cash Cunningham and Daisy Adair. On the first day of their new life together as husband and wife. You’re here to celebrate them, to shower them in your love as they proclaim their own.”
He looked around as if he were seeking confirmation from them before he continued.