Chapter 16 Alan
ALAN
I only drove around the corner before I had to stop the truck and breathe.
“You okay?” Michael asked.
“Not sure.” I fixed him with a serious gaze. “I know we briefly talked about this, but you’re sure?”
“Positive. I do not want to wreck my back again. I want to be able to ride horses and not need a walking device. Things will get bad enough when I’m old. I don’t want to make it worse earlier. This is the right choice for me.”
“Okay.” I twisted my hands in the steering wheel. “Right. This is…”
“Are you having a meltdown right now?” Carol leaned over the back of the front seat to see my face better. “Don’t melt down. That’s my job.”
“What if I just screwed us over? If they say no, we have no team.”
“We’ll find someone else.”
“I want them,” I blurted.
“We know that.” Carol sat back. “For the record, we also want them. For the team, not for what you want them for.”
“Shut up.”
He smirked at me. “Cards on the table, as we have always done. Those two are fucking adorable and you want to fuck them silly and wrap them in bubble wrap and expose them to the grinding machine that is an Olympic run.”
All of that was true. “But I fired the Darren twins. When that gets around, there will be repercussions. And if these guys turn us down, I don’t think we’ll be able to talk anyone else into trusting us. That family has a lot of sway.”
“They won’t say no, if for no other reason than at least the puppy—”
“Evan, Michael. His name is Evan.”
Michael grinned the shittiest grin ever.
“I love that you know which one I’m talking about.
But okay. Evan, at least, wants your cock.
I personally think they both do but whatever.
They are damn good curlers and when they’ve had five minutes to think it through, they’ll realize that you asking them to join the team means you think so too.
And that if you think they’re good enough to ask them to join an Olympic level effort, then how are they going to say no to that shot? ”
“Not everyone wants that kind of pressure.” I glanced in the rearview at Carol.
“Don’t look at me. I’m all in.”
“Now. There was a time you didn’t think you could be.”
He shot Michael a look in turn. “Things change.” Turning back to me, he said, “Knowing you have their back like Michael does mine makes all the difference so if you want to hedge our bets, maybe—”
“No. I gave them all the information they need to decide. No way am I bribing them with anything, sex especially.”
Michael nodded. “Because even if they say no to the team…?”
“I don’t want one to be dependent on the other, no,” I agreed.
“Well, I think that’s adorable.”
“Shut up,” I said again and started the truck to get us back on the road towards home. I had a lot of shit to face over the next few days when the news of our team breakup hit the fan.
“Tim’s first?” Michael asked.
“Like that’s even a question.” I’d already flicked my clicker to turn into the parking lot. Since it didn’t have a drive-through, we all trooped inside to order. When I saw Robbie and his friend at the counter, I decided that was the universe telling me this was the right decision.
If I’d had more faith in the universe, or in my guys’ faith in me, I may not have spent the next few nights sleepless and on edge. They had believed the Sudbury team would join us, and they were right. Three days after we asked, all three men called to agree to the proposal we’d sent in writing.
We were on our way.
So when I realized there was no way I could just pick up where we’d left off that night in their apartment, I panicked and did nothing instead.
For months.
It was excruciating.
The longer I waited, the harder it was to make any move at all, even as I watched them start to crumble under the pressure of non-stop training, practicing, and tournaments.
I expected them to bail any minute but they never did.
Not when we asked for more time than their jobs would allow.
Evan took leave and Perry arranged remote work.
Not when we had to travel or even when we discussed getting a team rental house.
They found someone to sublet their place and went along with everything.
They left their lives behind to do this, and I was humbled by that bravery.
How was I supposed to approach them now, when they’d already proved they were both strong enough to do all of this without me?
Which is why I almost missed the moment things began to fall apart.
To be fair, the rink we’d rented for practice had terrible ice, so almost everyone was throwing too light but that was what the brooming was for.
About halfway through the day, I noticed the tension between Evan and Perry was so tight, they weren’t listening to each other.
Mistakes were being made that, during a game, could easily cost points and ruin their stats.
After a particularly bad exchange, I pulled Evan aside.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” He was about to slide past me so I stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Talk to me.”
“Now?” he asked. “Now you want me to talk to you? Maybe you could have approached us, oh, I don’t know, anytime during the past six months?”
“I’m talking about the game here, Evan.”
“Of course you are. You always are.” He pulled his arm free and slid off.
“Well, shit.” I looked around for Michael, but noticed he’d already pulled Perry aside to talk to him. I was going to have to wait my turn for his advice.
“We throwing rocks here, or what?” Evan called.
“Throwing rocks,” I agreed.
“And make sure you listen to the calls!” Robbie added.
Evan set his jaw, crouched with his broom on the ice, and waited for me to deliver my stone, saying nothing to either of us.
I’d left it too long. My feelings hadn’t changed but I’d shoved them down so they couldn’t interfere with the game and now there was no easy way to break the ice that was forming.
After a few more rocks, where no progress was being made, deliveries were getting worse, and tempers flaring hotter, I decided to call it.
We’d eat the cost of the ice time we weren’t going to use but continuing when there was no communication happening was worse than a waste of time.
Practicing while we were making mistakes was just practicing the mistakes. Better to get off the ice and go home.
Hopefully, we could clear the air and try again tomorrow.
I should have known the other guys would vanish the minute I called the practice, leaving Perry, Evan, and I the going directly back to the house while the others dispersed. I suspected that was by design. I guess the three of us weren’t the only ones feeling the tension.