Chapter 32
EVAN
“How is your head?” Alan’s fingers dug deep but gently into my hair as soon as I joined them after the game to celebrate. He was clearly looking for a bump.
“Fine,” I assured him.
His hand remained where it was.
“Really. I’m good. My landing hurt my ass and my pride more than my head. It was a formality.” Careful so I didn’t offend him, I pulled my head away but met his gaze. “I promise. I’m okay.”
The deep breath he pulled in shook slightly when he let it out again but he nodded. “I was… that was scary.”
Unable to help myself, I kissed his cheek. “We’re going to the Olympics,” I whispered in his ear. “Be happy.”
He pulled me into a tight hug. “I am. I’m happy you’re not hurt, precious.”
I had to allow his embrace. Not like I was getting out of it, and it seemed he needed it. Which was pleasantly reassuring to me.
I leaned into him and soaked up his worry, hoping I could replace it with comfort, now that he had eyes and hands on me to know I was fine.
“Break it up, you two,” Michael said a few minutes later, even though he had his arm over Carol’s shoulders. “Here come the mics and cameras.” He jerked his chin towards where the sports networks were lining up for their interviews.
“I hate this part,” Perry said.
“Hold my hand.” I took his hand, damp palm and all, in mine, and lined up, prepared to answer all the questions.
Predictably, mine were all about my head and how I felt about not being on the ice when we won.
I gave out variations on my standard response. “I’m fine. Just a light ding, no harm done.” Finished off with a little grin. All mostly true, other than the slight headache, which wasn’t really a surprise.
“I’m sure it was an accident. Jason must feel awful about it.” Undoubtably a big fat lie, but who cared how he felt? I didn’t.
“I’m super proud of Robbie. He just proved exactly what he said in the pre-game interview. He has our backs. Never doubted him for one millisecond.” Absolutely true.
“I’m thrilled for him to have his own moment. He’s worked just as hard as the rest of us and deserves every second of the praise he’s getting. He really came through for us, and for me, especially.”
“You didn’t have to say that,” Robbie said to me as we were lining up to receive our Trial gold medals and new Team Canada fleeces.
“Say what?”
“All that about me having my moment and—”
“Dude.” I grabbed him into a hug. “You fucking rocked that shit.”
“Just doing my job.”
I stepped back to glare at him. “You arguably have the shittiest job of all of us. You train just as hard, practice just as long, and there’s never any guarantee you even get to step foot on the ice.
And then, if you do, everyone is second guessing if you’re good enough.
That’s fucking brutal and you fucking rocked it.
Take the gold medal and the fleece that you earned, and shut up about it. ”
He laughed. “Okay, okay. Thank you.”
One would think there would have been copious amounts of celebratory sex going on in our house that night when we got home.
Instead, Jacob, Emileigh and the kids, Shaw, Darby and their young team, Michael’s parents, and Renee, a woman Carol sat next to but scrupulously never touched, crowded into our home to eat takeout Chinese food and hash over every play, every nuance, and especially, my oh-so-graceful dump onto the ice.
“As fun as this is,” I said quietly to Mikko, who happened to be closest, “I’m over this. My head’s killing me.”
Instantly, he stood up and clapped his hands. “Okay.”
Heads turned to look up at him. “Kaikki ulos.”
“What does that mean?” Ava, the younger of my nieces, whispered to her dad.
“It means everybody out,” Robbie said, getting up to stand next to Mikko. “Not you guys,” he added to Jacob more quietly. “But maybe—”
“Jeez, both of you…” I also stood up with a wince I clearly didn’t hide well enough because Perry frowned at me.
“Nobody has to leave. Though—” I smiled at Mikko.
“—I appreciate you. I just have a headache. I mean, it wasn’t hard, but I did hit my head on the ice.
It hurts a bit. I’m going to turn in. You all stay as long as you want.
It’s a celebration, and it should be. This is a big deal. ”
Perry and Alan both got up as I wound my way through the people towards our room.
“No, you two have to stay and celebrate. Please. I’m going to lie down.”
“I’ll go with him,” Darby said, appearing at my side.
“There, see?” I said. “He’s a doctor. I’m in good hands.”
Reluctantly, they both went back to the main room while Darby followed me into our bedroom. The door had barely closed behind me when he started peppering me with questions.
“How bad does it hurt? Are you dizzy? Do you feel like you have to vomit?”
“No. God, relax. It’s nothing like that.
I’ve been concussed before and this is not that, I promise.
But I did hit my head and I’m feeling it.
I want to lie down and watch something on TV I don’t need my brain for.
Stay and talk, or feel free to poke me every once in a while.
” I dropped my new fleece onto a chair and myself onto the bed.
“Whatever you want.” I huffed, punched a pillow, then grinned at him. “Also, it’s good to see you.”
“We’ve missed you all but…” He shrugged then returned my grin. “Olympics. That’s a big deal.”
“Weird, right?”
“Deserved.”
We had worked hard. Our life was going to change again, ramp up.
Strangely, I was happy, for a minute, to be in the quiet room with the steady, quiet man who I didn’t know very well but had always appeared when we needed him most. I was hungry for the quiet, and for home, even if it was only his words and stories.
“How’s your team shaping up?” I asked.
“Not bad, actually. The boys are very good. I’ve convinced Andre to give us access to the rink so they can practice.
Evey few weeks, we fetch their friends from Timmins so they can practice together and in a year’s time, when the other two come to Sudbury, Shaw and I will take a more coaching/managerial roll.
They could easily compete at the junior level. ”
“No Olympic dreams of your own?”
He chuckled. “Not exactly. Shaw and I are not at your level. But he is an excellent coach. One of the boys has chronic bone density issues, so I’ve been working closely with his doctors to keep an eye on him. It keeps his parents from hovering, which is space he needs.”
“I see, I see.”
“You see what?”
“You two are going the coach and trainer route. In four years, we’ll have the whole Fam Damily up in the Olympic games.”
“We’ll see.”
“It’s a nice dream.”
“It is. And to be sure I can continue to act as his physician, as well as his trainer, I’ve looked into what applications I need to fill out. What certificates I have to have. Just in case.”
“You have a very calming presence,” I told him. “Steady. It’s nice.”
“Thank you. It’s probably an ingrained trait a lot of doctors have.”
“I’m sure Shaw appreciates it too.”
He shrugged, not commenting one way or the other.
“What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing.”
I tilted my head at him. “Not the impression I get when you text me at three a.m.”
His smile was part sad, part frustrated. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. Shaw is a lot. Lots of good and generous and kind, but… A lot. He always wants to give people the world, without ever really stopping to ask if they want that. He means well. But he can be overwhelming.”
“I love that about him.”
“Maybe you should tell him that.”
“Maybe.”
I waited but he didn’t seem to have anything else to say on the matter so I let it go. “Put whatever you want on the TV. I’m going to nap.”
“I’ll wake you in a bit.”
I knew he would, because he was a professional, and cautious. Another thing I liked about him. Something that was good for Shaw’s big, dreaming, expansive heart.
I fell asleep thinking how cool it would be to have all of us at the Olympics. Not this time, obviously. But maybe next time.