CHAPTER FIFTEEN
MANON
The last thing I expected to see after probably the worst day I have ever experienced in Perian Law history, was Cassie scrolling through my laptop.
I couldn't believe my eyes, for a moment I stopped, frozen with disbelief.
FIVE HOURS EARLIER
Two weeks.
It has been officially two weeks since the day Nick Leed sent me that email, and there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I didn’t think about it for every second I was awake.
Every time Cassie looks me in the eye; I physically cringe at my disappointment in myself. I could’ve done it. The opportunity was there for me to do the right thing every day. But anytime I’d sit down in front of my laptop to read over it again, my brain melted into a puddle of nothing. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t accept the idea of Cassie having to take any fault.
Whether I disagreed with that idea or not, the decision was made, and that is what scared me the most. Not the fact that I could very well go through with the trial and lose, but that I didn’t include Cassie in the decision. If this were any other client, after forwarding it to Dylan, I would’ve immediately contacted them.
It was illegal to do otherwise.
Here I was, sitting silently, watching her cook me breakfast and smile as she told me anything and everything that flew through her mind. I was fighting mental demons that were torturing me, but I knew I deserved it.
I was breaking every rule I stood for; the career I had spent so much time building was being threatened because of my inability to communicate.
I wasn’t doing my job as a lawyer by consistently keeping my client in the dark.
At this point, I was flying with no strings attached. Just straight-winging it.
If there’s one thing that’s never worked for me, it’s winging it. I can’t just let anything and everything happen the way it’s “intended” without a sense of control. That was nearly impossible for me, even as a child. The idea of just going with the flow scared me. Most children already lived by that motto without even trying. But I wasn’t most—never have been. I needed to know what was going to happen every second of the day, and if I didn’t—then there would be hell to pay.
The idea of surprises constantly drove me to stay ahead in life. My need to control even the smallest details grew so intense that, as a child, I’d have panic attacks whenever plans changed or someone disrupted something I had perfectly curated. It felt mind-altering—like a personal attack.
So, I stuck to the rules. And if there weren’t any, then I’d make my own. I needed something to follow to know what I was doing was right. Which is probably why I was slowly falling apart every day. Lying to myself and avoiding the truth was starting to really take a toll on me, and I knew Cassie could tell.
I tried to keep it together as best as I could, for as long as I could. But it was flooding into every aspect of my life. Suddenly, I was taking five minutes longer on a twenty-minute morning routine that I had since the day I started at Perian Law. Then, last week, my blow dryer died on me on wash day, and I was forced to leave the house with cold, wet hair.
But when my almost brand-new pair of red bottom heels that I wore to work randomly broke only fifteen minutes into walking around the office, I knew I was fucked. Granted, these were all small problems to have. But with how they were beginning to tally up this was no coincidence.
I was experiencing karma.
It had to be. Even when I rolled out of bed this morning, I stumbled until I landed straight on my ass. Luckily it was quiet enough to not wake Cassie, but I was gobsmacked. It was starting to get to a point where I couldn’t just ignore the rocks that life was throwing at me. But for some reason, it still never pushed me to speak up.
Instead, I just started removing myself from the situation all together. I refused to start avoiding Cassie again, because that didn’t work out well last time. But I was deciding to avoid the conversation as a whole. We didn’t talk much about the case these past few weeks while I’d been working in the office gathering all the materials for trial, so that worked out well. Whenever Cassie asked me about work, I tried to brush it off as if it was just another boring day in the office. Even when I knew she was seeing right through it.
Cassie was never dumb. Her eyes squinted every time I answered a question, and her head tilted as she tried to dissect it. She looked like was reading my mind. I could even feel her eyes linger on me while we did simple things like cook dinner or watch tv. It was as if she was waiting for me to unfold or drop the bomb. She wasn’t pressuring me, which in this case, she really should be. She was being respectful, giving me time and space like she always did.
Cassie knew something was off but refused to be the one to bring anything up. Which truly, only made me feel shittier. Because she was being amazing. She didn’t deserve someone who kept secrets from her. In fact, I’m sure that’s one of the sole reasons she came to me in the first place.
She had trust issues.
When she found herself in one of the craziest situations I’ve ever seen, she scoped the internet and searched all of Illinois for a lawyer. Just to land on me, out of all people. I knew then that she had to have been looking for something more than just a black and white lawyer.
She wanted someone who was going to see through the bullshit and care about what she had to say. Someone who she could trust to tell her story, not just spit it out like a script you rehearsed. It was never about the money; she needed someone on her side so that she didn’t feel alone.
And here I was, fucking that all up.
The mornings were getting rougher, and nights were feeling longer. I was pacing more than usual, and it was starting to concern Cassie. Which was the last thing I needed, because it was one of the main reasons I wasn’t telling her. I didn't need her concerned with the outcome of the results with the trial if there was an option to not go in the first place.
I knew she would give in and take the bait.
That was too much of a risk that I wasn’t willing to take. I needed her to trust that I could do this, but I was starting to doubt myself as well. The weight of my guilt was sitting on my shoulders, and it was reflecting in my work.
I was missing meetings, mixing times up on my calendar and even snapping at Grace. Which I immediately apologized for, because she didn't deserve my wound-up frustration. That was already self-inflicted. I was losing sight of who I’ve always been, just because of this one secret.
The questions ran through my head day and night.
Was this the right decision?
Am I actually capable of winning this case?
What would Cassie have wanted?
Was this going to ruin everything?
Panic was rioting within me, but I knew that either decision was going to be upsetting. Because on one hand I was lying to Cassie, and on the other, she would still be fined and put at fault.
The latter terrified me more than anything else. So, when I woke up this morning I accepted the fact that Cassie may not like what I was doing behind her back, but I was more than willing to risk it if that meant she’d be free.
Not just free financially, but mentally and spiritually. This whole thing has been taxing on her health. The mentioning of childhood trauma all while overlapping with new triggers had to be dwelling on her. She deserved to be free from it all, and I was prepared for the backlash I got from deciding that for her.
What I didn’t prepare for was the storm I was going to walk into when I finally pulled into my reserved parking spot at Perian Law. It was always dead in the office on Wednesdays, with everyone usually preferring to work half-days. But these were my favorite days to be in the office because it felt like my peaceful morning routine, but all day long.
The sky was always a misty cool greyish-blue color, while the roads were dark and empty. I loved it. It was when I felt the calmest, so I was anticipating it to be an easy and passive kind of day.
But you could only imagine my disappointment, when I looked around to see the entire lot full of cars. I knew something had to be wrong. Or maybe there was a holiday I was forgetting.
My brain was feeling frazzled when I got on the elevator to head up to our floor. I couldn’t think of anything. Was it Dylan’s birthday?
My head shook lazily. No, it couldn’t be. He was a Scorpio, and we were just now heading into Taurus season. So that wasn’t it. But what could have happened to cause the entire office to come in on the slowest day in the office—
The ding from the elevator cut my thoughts short. When I took my first step out, I was left breathless when I saw the staff of Perian Law standing in a semicircle, facing me.
Smiles spread across almost every face as I watched them all clap and cheer. Instinctively, I moved to look over my shoulder. I was even more confused than a second ago.
I stood there with wide eyes—blank and stunned as my cheeks began to grow hot. What the hell was happening?
When my eyes finally found Neil in the crowd of people clapping my face scrunched up into confusion. Non-verbally asking him–what the fuck?
But he was cheering even louder than they were—so much so that he couldn’t stay where he was. He pushed through the crowd, speed-walking toward me.
“There’s our little superstar! I told you; you would kill that pre-trial!” His voice bounced off the walls as his excitement only heightened. His thin arms wrapped around me as he tucked his head into the crevice of my neck.
But I couldn’t return the hug.
My eyes bulged out of their sockets as my heart began to thump against my chest. The shock of his words siphoned the blood from my face and the air from my lungs. In a matter of seconds, I pulled out of his embrace and gripped both of his forearms.
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” my voice was low enough for no one else to hear over their claps.
My eyes flickered back and forth between his and the group surrounding us as I watched his brows furrow.
“Manon, you can’t be serious. That pre-trial is going down in Perian Law history. I knew you were going to do well, but come on? You literally wiped them out...”
His voice faded into the background as my head began to become clouded.
How could he know that?
I scanned the crowd of proud faces filled with sincere smiles.
How could they all know?
There were only two different options, and neither were good. Either Neil told everyone, or someone contacted Perian Law about the case.
But either way, if everyone on the floor right now knows, then that would mean Dylan knew as well.
Shit.
My eyes were blinking so fast I could hardly see. “Did you tell them?” I tilted my chin and gestured to my right not caring if they could hear anymore.
Neil’s body started to shake; I was so focused on the crowd that I didn't even notice him start laughing. Head tossed back as he let out a great deal of laughter.
“Yeah, because I have access to almost every news outlet in the state of Illinois. You know, I’m glad you think so highly of me but, Manon, this was all you.”
He squeezed my arms and the tense lines in my forehead relaxed as my entire face went ice cold. He was trying to be sweet and endearing, but all I could feel was my brain shattering to pieces.
“..almost every news outlet in the state of Illinois…”
My ears rang as I felt as if my breath was cut off. I was floating away in anxiety. A stark black silence surrounded me as I turned to face everyone who were all still celebrating. But for me, their voices were on mute.
I didn’t see their faces, or how their arms waved around, I couldn’t even feel when I let go of Neil and started walking. But I was moving past everyone like they didn't even exist, only praying that my face at least held a fake smile as a thank you. But right now, I couldn’t care less. My mind was focused on the plain wooden door at the end of the hall that was currently glowing red.
Even in my heels, I was walking faster than most would in sneakers. I breathed in shallow, quick gasps as my pace quickened. The cold knot was already forming in my stomach before I could even get inside.
There was no way to stop the sporadic trembling that was happening within me. Even when my hands reached out to unlock my door. It took me a while because my hands refused to stay still. It didn’t help that as soon as I stepped inside, my motion sensor lights turned on. I was immediately caught off guard by the amount of purple and white balloons that filled my office.
My breath hitched as my chest tightened, already being on edge. As soon as I saw the huge purple banner that hung above my desk with the word “Congratulations!” written it in cursive, I knew Neil had to be responsible.
He was the only other one with a key to my office and the only other person who works here who’s gay enough to want to do things like this. My shoulders fell. Fuck, I needed to calm down before I seriously lost it.
Yes, this was the worst possible thing that could have ever happened, but it couldn't have been that bad... right?
I raced over to the other side of my desk before I could let the thought settle on its own. I whip open my laptop and begin typing in the password before I even sit down.
When I typed a single letter “ B” into the search box, a long list of suggested searches popped up. The first one being “ Blue Wheels Lawsuit. ”
My chest rose as I sucked in the deepest breath. Well, that wasn’t a good sign. I clicked anyway, letting the loading screen slowly eat at my sanity.
Fuck, it was even worse than I thought. There were news articles everywhere, most of the headlines fell along the lines of:
“ Landmark Lawsuit: Blue Wheels vs Rideshare driver ”
“ Blue Wheels, the car rental company, a SCAM ?”
“ The four men representing Blue Wheels in a lawsuit against a young rideshare driver, get annihilated by a female lawyer.”
My face cringed at most of them, seeing as they all surrounded my gender; and how crazy of an idea it was for a woman to be able to do it. Of course, the idea of the case was more comical than anything.
Two women going up against four wealthy men who worked for a multi-million-dollar company. It was a sensational story waiting to happen. I knew that. I didn’t know to what extent, clearly, but it was obvious Blue Wheels did.
They emailed me two weeks ago to this day in hopes that we would take their offer, probably before all of this went public. They knew this was going to happen, that’s why they wanted to pull out. It was too much of a risk, having social media digging deep into their sketch business.
If I was feeling vulnerable and in the hot seat, then I couldn't imagine how they felt being the actual scammers. It took me aback seeing the photo beneath the headline. Smack dab right in the center of the page, was a picture of me, standing tall at the stand. I was clearly in the middle of making Cassie's argument. My face was firm, eyebrows tight and I looked as if I could have been yelling. Cassie was in the back left of the picture, seated at the defendants table, her head bowed as if they caught her when she was in a daze.
While Blue Wheels sat to the far right, just as I remembered. I don’t know how they got theses, because I didn’t see them take any pictures, but they were from almost every angle.
This was the first I’d ever gotten to see myself from this point of view and in the moment, I was feeling a multitude of different things.
I was in a fucking news article. A small smile grew on my face.
After a few more seconds, it dropped in almost an instant, holy shit.
I was in a damn news article .
My body goes tense, this is the worst thing that could have happened. On so many different levels, I was fucked.
I hadn't told a soul about the case, and here they had an almost ten-page article. Written in detail, everything that was said, and what they think we should all expect to see.
There were even gossip articles talking about the viral memes being made on social media of Blue Wheels’ attorneys. I’ll admit to scrolling through for a few minutes after seeing the first one was a picture of Nick Leed at the stand when Judge Hickerson asked him to begin his argument.
He looked scared shitless. They caught him right when his eyes shot wide open, making him look like a maniac. Then captioned it:
“WHEN YOU SHOW UP TO WORK, NOT EXPECTING TO ACTUALLY HAVE TO WORK.”
I died, I wanted to fall out of my chair laughing at the numerous comments. I was just happy that other people saw them the same way I did—
Privileged trash.
But my happiness was short lived when I heard a knock on my door, and like always I counted with each knock.
“One,” I whispered under my breath as I heard the first ominous knock.
“Two,” my eyelids closed, already bracing myself for what was about to come. I figured with all the commotion in the office it was only a matter of time before this moment happened. I had one last second of praying this wouldn’t go as bad as I was expecting to. But I knew what I deserved. I knew the standard operating procedures, there was a process to everything, and I intentionally wasn’t following it.
When the last knock came, I felt my insides twist, and I could barely let the word fall from my lips.
“Three.” I took a short breath before fixing my face and voice. “Come in!” I exclaimed bright and chippy.
When my door opened and I wasn’t greeted with the same upbeat energy, I forced myself to remain the same.
This was Dylan we were talking about. He was going to knock on your door three times, slowly and creepily, no matter what. It was his way of letting you know it wasn’t just any other coworker. This was the boss.
And he demanded attention, how could he not? He was the guy who paid all our bills. So we all sat behind our doors patiently as he made the same entrance every time, without fail. It didn't matter if you told him to come in at his second knock or even his first, he would never walk in until after the third.
For once, I wished it would drag on longer, so I didn’t have to see this sick and twisted look of disappointment written across his face. When he let the door shut behind him, he didn’t even spare me a glance.
Only watched as the purple and white balloons that filled my room floated all around him. He had to kick his way through and still almost tripped. The loud, squeaky sounds of the rubber rubbing against each other and his leather shoes.
It was cringeworthy how silent it was, I wanted to say something, but I was almost speechless from how awkward it was. He stood there with his hands on his hips as he read the sign above my desk, before scoffing.
His head shook, “That’s quite a show they’re putting on out there for you.”
Dylan’s tone was tight, and so were the pants he was wearing. It was distracting how skintight they looked. Neil and I always joked that the higher up the they were, the tighter the pants. Maybe it was some sign of wealth, but I never understood it. He looked like he couldn’t… breathe.
If it was any other circumstance, I’d probably have to stifle my laugh, but this was my boss. The one I spent my whole life looking up to and working my ass off to work for. He was cold, demanding and never friendly. But what lawyer that owned a law firm, and been in the industry for years, wasn’t?
It was just the way the cookie crumbled. I never questioned it or expected any different, so why would it change now?
I cleared my throat. “Uhh, yeah. I had no idea they had planned all of that. It was very sweet.”
His eyes narrowed, finally turning to face me directly.
“Well, we had no idea you were even working that case, right?”