Chapter 30 – Seth #2
“Soul, I can’t hold back,” I grit out, my whole-body pulsing with the need to come. “You’re too good. Too fuckin’ beautiful.”
She throws her hair over her shoulder, fiery red cascading down her back before letting out a broken moan.
I feel her clench around me, and I know that we’re both right there.
I grip her harder, drive her down against me twice more, and then she’s coming.
Her whole body goes tight, her walls clamp around me, and this time I let go with her.
My world explodes. Sound cuts out. The only thing I hear is the pounding of my heart. My hands tremble. My vision whites out. All I know is her—her body, her scent, the way she feels wrapped around me, milking every drop out of me.
I’m lost in her.
Lost in this.
And I’m certain I don’t ever want to come back.
When I finally come to, my arms are limp at my sides, my chest heaving.
Bri’s curled against me, head tucked under my arm, breathing slow and even like the storm between us never happened.
I look down at my cock, still heavy and half hard and it’s covered in her and me.
Wetness covers my stomach from the mark she left behind and I’ve never been more satisfied.
“Let me clean you up.”
She shakes her head gently, the tip of her nose brushing against my chest. “No. I just want you to stay. I just want to snuggle.”
I stay. I hold her through the after, through the slow crawl of night settling around us, my brain looping on one thought: Her. Me and her. Forever. And telling everyone we know.
Coming to New York was supposed to be a reset—an escape from the wreckage I left behind on the west coast, and a chance to be closer to family.
A way to focus on my career, Sawyer and put down roots for her.
It won’t be long until she’s thinking about college.
My hope is she stays somewhere on the east coast. And somehow, in the middle of this giant, chaotic city, I found Bri.
I’m convinced that she’s the only other thing that I’ve gotten right besides Sawyer.
I slide my fingers under her chin and tilt her face up toward me. Her lashes flutter open, and I meet her gaze, heart thudding, throat tight because the more time I spend around her, I realize I’m just as much of a hopeless romantic as she is.
“I want more than just our friends and families to know about us, Bri. I want to date you, properly, if you’ll let me.
Publicly.” My voice drops lower. “But I won’t lie to you, I’m terrified you’re going to leave.
There’s something about me that seems to disappoint women, and I can’t risk doing that to Sawyer again.
So, I need to know… do you want this? Do you want…
all of this? Because I know it’s a lot to walk into.
I know that…” I let out a sigh. “I know that I’m a lot. ”
She doesn’t answer right away. And the pause is so long that I can feel the blow coming.
“I think…” she starts softly, “I think we should keep things hidden still. For now.”
It lands like a puck to the face. A clean hit. A deep one. I lost a tooth like that once. Didn’t expect it. It hurt like hell when Boone smacked the ice and sent that thing flying in my face.
Somehow this feels even worse.
“Okay,” I say quietly, brushing my fingers along the bare skin of her arm, up and down, just to keep from flinching. This is what she wants.
"I'm having lunch with my dad tomorrow for the first time," she says, not quite looking at me. "There's a lot changing right now. I'm nervous about it all." She takes a slow, unsteady breath.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?"
She shakes her head. "I just think we need to rip the Band-Aid off.
I've always hoped he and I could get to an honest conversation someday.
" She pauses. "I don't know what's going to come of it.
But I need to go in with a clear head, and I don't want our first real talk together to be about the fact that I'm dating you… one of his players."
Her green eyes come up to meet mine. "Do you understand?"
I lower my face and kiss her softly. "I do. You're right. I hadn't thought about that."
She gives me a small smile. "There's a lot changing for you too. For Sawyer and her new school and this move. I just think maybe we keep this between us a little longer."
I hate it. But I understand it. And I know what it means—that I step back and let her set the pace. That when we do go public, it'll be because Bri is ready. Not because I pushed. Because this is the second time she’s asked for things to remain private, and I won’t make her ask me a third time.
“Okay. We’ll keep it private. But Bri, you realize this isn’t just between us anymore, right?”
She bites her bottom lip and nods, slow. “Yeah. Do you think Boone will say anything? To the other Mayhem guys, I mean?”
I shake my head. “No. And I’ll talk to him to be sure he doesn’t.”
“Thank you for that.”
“And what about Sawyer?” Because she’s always on my mind. Always the first and last consideration. No matter what happens, I want to do what’s right by her, and I fucking hate lying to her especially when she’d probably be the first to catch on.
Bri’s eyes flicker, and she swallows. “For now, I guess we just keeping telling her I’m the nanny.”
“Soul.” I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and meet her eyes again. “I know you don’t mean any harm by that, but I’m not going to lie to my daughter.”
Because Bri hasn’t been just the nanny to me from the moment I hired her. She’s always been more.
Her expression shifts, softens. “You’re right.
I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” She bites her lip again, nervous.
“But Seth… there’s a lot on the line here.
I was never supposed to stay with the Mayhem permanently.
What if, at the end of the season, I don’t have a job anymore?
What if I want to move to another city? Work with a different sport? ”
The words land heavy between us. Even though I knew this was always a possibility, I didn’t expect her to say it out loud.
“Is that what you’re thinking about?”
She shakes her head. “No? I don’t know? I’m really enjoying working for the Mayhem and hockey’s grown on me, but who’s to say my dad will want to continue my employment contract once we meet?”
Damn.
Her eyes plead with me. “I don’t want to be another person who comes in and out of Sawyer’s life. I don’t want to hurt her,” she whispers.
And that guts me. Because it means she’s already thinking about the end.
Already building distance. And I know she’s just being smart, because that’s the right thing to do, especially as a woman whose father played professional basketball and left her.
She’s thinking about Sawyer and her feelings if Bri leaves. Logically, I get it.
It still fucking hurts to hear.
“Seth, talk to me. You’ve gone quiet.”
I didn’t even realize I had.
“I’m just processing.”
She rolls onto my stomach until we’re chest to chest, face to face.
“Do you want to break up?”
“What? Fuck no.” My hands slide to her hips, and I squeeze until she’s wrapped in my arms in a tight, needy hug.
“No. We’ll keep this private. For now. While you figure things out with your dad, and Sawyer and I get more settled in Brookhaven.”
“Okay,” she whispers and nods. “That sounds good.”
I nod too. But inside all I’m thinking about is the distance she’s trying to put between us.