On The Edge

Chapter 5

FIVE

Stupid fucking boys.

Stupid fucking feelings.

I don’t even know what I’m feeling or why. I’ve been in their presence for all of ten minutes and I’m already back to feeling like the seventeen-year-old girl who doesn’t know how she feels about her four best friends.

But she knows it’s something strong.

I stomp down the stairs to join the group of dancing strangers and fade into anonymity. I need a few more drinks in me before I can get over this stupid jealousy I know I shouldn’t be feeling.

The bass is louder down here. It’s heavy and thumping through the entire floor, so deeply that I can feel it in my chest. My heart beats in time with it; the strobe lights blind me every few seconds, but I make my way through the sea of people.

Sweat and alcohol fills my nostrils as I’m squished from every side by people dancing together.

Finally making my way to the bar, I smile seductively to the bartender and lean against the wood to yell my order to him.

He’s attractive and totally my type. Dark hair slicked back, tattoos covering his bulging forearms and a ripped T-shirt on his torso giving everyone a peek at his washboard abs.

There’s a washrag hanging from the back pocket of his tight jeans.

My eyes darken and in my mixed feelings I smirk at him, putting my arms under my boobs to show off my cleavage.

“Hi!” I yell.

“Hey there,” he yells back. “What can I get you?”

“I would like two double whiskeys with Diet Coke and three tequila shots with slices of lime on the side, please!” I pull my credit card out of my back pocket, holding it in my hand.

“That’s a good order, sweetheart.” He gives me a crooked grin and I can see him undressing me with his eyes.

From behind me, I hear a gravelly voice chime in, “It is,” sending shivers down my spine. “I’ll have the same.” Markus stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my hips possessively, sending a clear message.

I turn to snap at him, but see Adam standing there as well with a murderous look on his face. I’ve only ever had him look at me with kindness. This time, he’s not looking at me—he’s looking at the bartender.

Snapping out of it, Adam glides forward and grips the man’s shirt, twisting it and bringing him as close as the bar allows.

“Adam…” I put my hand on his bicep, trying to keep him from doing something he shouldn’t, but he shakes me off.

“You don’t get to call her ‘sweetheart,’ do you understand? She’s mine ,” Adam growls, loudly enough for me to hear him. My heart flutters at his words, at their weight.

Markus pulls me so my back is tight against his chest and he wraps an arm around my waist. The bartender looks at Adam in challenge, but then glances over at how Markus is holding me. Not only that, but Markus is smirking darkly.

“Mine, too.” Markus bites his lip and nuzzles into my neck. “At least, there was a time where you could’ve been.”

My heart beats faster. What’s happening?

Are they… Do they know how I felt back then?

I thought I’d hidden my feelings for them well; they always treated me like I was one of them, their best friend, but other than a few touches here and a lingering smile there, I didn’t think they wanted me.

And now here I am, seven years after they abandoned me , and they’re trying to stake a fucking claim like it was something that had happened all along?

I’m stunned silent, but Adam shoves the bartender back, barking at him to get the drinks and to add it to On The Edge ’s tab. The bartender’s eyebrows shoot up and he nods, scampering away to do what he was told.

Adam turns to me and his murderous expression melts away. He’s nervous now, like he didn’t just go fucking rogue and declare I was his. What the actual fuck?

“Mel, I don’t know what you saw up there, but…” Adam steps closer, putting his hand on my waist and ripping me out of Markus’ grasp. “Whatever you thought, it wasn’t what was actually happening.”

“I saw a single girl shooting her shot at a single guy. She got a little handsy and you didn’t mind. That’s what I saw.” I shrug my shoulders, turning toward the bar and waiting for the hottie behind the bar to bring my much-needed alcohol.

“Echo, you know that wasn’t it.” Adam covers my body with his, whispering hotly in my ear.

I can feel every inch of him pressed against me as he traps me between him and the bar.

His heart beats hard against my shoulder as I watch his fingers grip the wooden bar on either side of my body to keep me firmly in place.

God, hearing him call me that so softly, so roughly, so possessively in my ear is delicious and so hot. I’ve missed hearing it so much.

How many times have I fantasized about this exact scenario? Only there weren't as many observers, and definitely not this many clothes between us.

I groan. It’s throaty, reverberating through my body, and I know he felt it . Embarrassment burns through me, but right as I’m about to pull away, Adam pushes himself flush against me, leaving not one inch of space between my back and his front.

I can feel everything . He’s half-hard in his jeans and he grinds his hips against mine so there’s no question if I feel him or not.

“Do you want me, baby? Is that why you’re acting jealous?

” Adam’s never been this forward with me, but I guess a lot can change in seven years.

He kisses my neck, nipping slightly at the skin beneath my ear and my head drops back against his shoulder.

His voice, his hands, his body, the fact that I’m acutely aware that we’re being watched; I feel my pussy clench and my wetness drips into my G-string.

“Because I’ve spent the last seven years wanting you. ”

My mouth is suddenly very dry as I take everything in. Everything he said, everything he’s doing to me. Everything he just confessed.

“Adam,” I moan. The clinking of a filled tray hitting the bar in front of me jolts me out of the bubble of lust and desire I’m in.

My eyes fly open— when did they close? —and I’m greeted with the sight of the bartender looking at me with disdain as he serves the drinks I ordered.

“Thank you.” I nod to him sheepishly, feeling slightly bad for flirting with him only to turn right around and basically let Adam try to get me off in front of everyone.

I’ll give him a big tip. I go to hand the bartender my card, but Markus beats me to it.

“Just add it to the tab upstairs.” He raises one eyebrow, heavy with smug satisfaction, and the bartender’s eyes widen before he nods in understanding.

“Got it.”

I take my first drink from the tray and quickly down it, the whiskey burning in the best, most familiar way.

I have a feeling I’m going to need to be a little inebriated for the rest of the night and all the bullshit they’re going to push-and-pull me with.

Especially since Adam hasn’t moved an inch and now Markus is also crowding me.

Slamming the empty glass down, I move on to one of the tequila shots.

“At least let me get one if you’re going to slam them back like that.” Markus picks the one out of my hand. My lips are still damp from the whiskey, but he takes a lime wedge and wets my lower lip with it before setting it in between my teeth. “To new beginnings and second chances.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Adam announces as he picks up a shot and cheers Markus, both of them knocking the shots back.

Markus bends down, pulls the lime from my lips with his teeth before sucking on it.

I’m mesmerized as I watch him in the flickering light, squeezing the lime into his tempting lips with his fingers.

He sets it down on the bar top before looking back to me with a heated stare, keeping my gaze before bending down and kissing me roughly.

Fuck me—he can kiss. Wow.

His tongue slips along my lips, lapping up any lime juice left behind. He breaks the kiss before I’m ready and my lips chase his.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs, seemingly unaffected by how he just rocked my world.

Adam bites a lime, drinking the bitter liquid before setting the rind down on the bar, sighing.

“I bet it was so much better from your lips.” Adam’s eyes zero in on my lips.

His blue eyes are so dark from want, they look midnight-blue in the low light.

My lips are probably red and puffy from the ferocity of Markus' kiss, but I bite down softly on my bottom lip anyway.

Feeling brave, I take the last shot and throw it back, then take a new lime from the plate, wiping it all along my lips slowly, keeping eye contact so he knows what I want.

Because if this is some fever dream… I’m not wasting it.

It’s up to him now.

Adam wastes no time. He curls his body around mine, twisting my head so his lips can reach mine from behind. Sliding his hand up the front of me slowly, so fucking sensually it makes my nipples pebble, it makes a home around my neck.

I didn’t know choking was a turn-on for me. But it most certainly is. Or maybe… maybe it’s just an Adam thing. He’s holding me so dominantly, so possessively, that I can feel our need. His tattooed hand rests protectively along the column of my pale throat and it makes my knees weak.

Adam pulls back when I start remembering that I need air to live, and I immediately miss him.

“Delicious,” he whispers in my ear.

Markus picks up my other drink, handing it to me, then hands another that he must’ve ordered to Adam before taking the last one for himself.

“Let’s dance, Songbird.” He takes my hand and drags me onto the dance floor.

I used to love dancing with the guys. We’d drive out to an empty field and turn the headlights on Adam’s truck and they’d take turns swing-dancing with me in the beams of light while the darkness surrounded everywhere else.

I remember laughing so hard, feeling so loved and cared for, that my heart clenches at the memory.

When Markus pulls me onto the dance floor here, I’m struck with just how much has actually changed.

There are so many people surrounding us, I’m a little worried we’ll get separated. Maybe that’s what they wanted. To tease me, to pretend they care and then leave me behind. Again.

You are not going to let them have any more of your tears, Melody. If they leave, they leave and you will survive it, I think, clenching my jaw to try and protect myself from what I know is possible.

But then they surprise me. Adam puts his hands on my hips, guiding me behind Markus, who has a tight grip on my hand.

Once he finds a spot he likes right in the middle of the crowd, he turns around and pulls me tight against his chest. Slotting his thigh between mine, Markus sways us in time with the music.

Adam’s hands tighten on my hips as he draws closer behind me, moving with us in a breathtakingly sexy rhythm.

I’m in a rockstar, ex-best-friend, high school crush sandwich and I’m pretty sure I could die a very happy woman now.

Wrapping one arm around Markus' shoulders, I lean back and wrap the other around Adam’s neck so we’re one complete unit.

Markus' thigh is rubbing against my pussy in a way that stokes the fire already building in me.

My skirt is short, but in order for his thigh to be so close, I have to pull it up more.

One corner of Markus' lips pulls up in a sly, confident smirk. “Can’t choose, can you, Melody?”

I freeze.

Those words…

It’s what everyone used to bully me with in high school. “ Just can’t choose, can you, whore? ”

The worst was when I was confronted and I had to lie, deflect, throw them off the scent.

Each word I said felt wrong coming out of my mouth, but it was better than being pushed into the lockers or covered in juice in the locker room.

Everyone in high school thought I was their playmate.

Their whore. And what’s worse, I wanted to be. I wanted them all.

That was why when Darcy, this bitch who was obsessed with Kai, cornered me in the band room the day before the guys left me, I tried so hard to get her away from me. I did the only thing my seventeen-year-old brain could think of at that moment to make the hurt stop.

I denied everything, tried to hide my true feelings and shrug it off.

I told her they were like my brothers so maybe she’d stop calling me a sex-starved bitch.

I told her I didn’t want them, didn’t think they’d be anything, just so the bullies would leave me alone.

After I lied, she laughed, pushed me down and spit on me, calling me every insulting name in the book and saying how no one would ever want me; how no one would ever want someone so fucked up.

And it turned out she was right, because they never answered my calls after that and vanished. That only made the bullying a million times worse.

Besides, they wouldn’t have ever been okay with my feelings and I could never have asked them to be. I want to be shared, I always have. More than that, I only want Reis, Adam, Markus and Kai to share me.

Pulling myself from the memory, I rip out of their shared hold and run toward the bathroom.

I can’t be here.

I can’t do this.

They left me.

They left me .

And I don’t even know why or what I did to deserve it.

I push my way through the crowd as fast as I can, finding the sign for the ladies bathroom, bursting through the door to catch my breath. Do not have a panic attack right now, do not have a panic attack right now.

“You’re not sixteen anymore, Melody. They can’t–they don’t–have such a hold over you,” I tell myself shakily in the mirror, seeing my smudged eye makeup and black hair falling out of my messy bun. I look ravaged. I look breathless. “This all has to be a dream you can’t wake up from.”

The bathroom door slams open, hitting the wall, and in burst two angry looking rockstars.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Markus growls. A toilet flushes and a girl in a short dress looks at them frightenedly before trying to leave, but runs into Adam. He steps aside with an eyeroll to let her out before closing the door behind him and locking it .

Locking us in. Together.

“Better answer him, Mel. Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Running away from us? Oh, no. That’s not happening. Not again.”