Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
This should be fucking good.
I can see that something’s changed.
The look of undiluted hate and anger is gone, so he’s left with what only looks like agony. I wonder what caused the switch, but until I see how he’s going to treat me, I’m proceeding with caution.
And there’s no way that I’m going to lower my defenses with Reis until he shows me he’s not going to be a total ass.
Having the other guys here gives me strength. Markus watches me from the armchair next to where Reis' sitting; his leg crossed at the knee and his eyes locked on me. He winks at me with his hair free-flowing, and a rush of attraction flows through me.
Kai scoots closer to me, not necessarily touching me yet, but just the presence and warmth radiating from him makes me feel safe and secure.
And Adam, my tattooed angel, stands with his arms crossed against the glass with the whole of New York at his back like he’d personally fight gravity if it so much as made me fall.
My protectors.
“Well?” I ask, focusing on Reis and whatever he has to say.
“Well, I have two things I want to talk to you about,” he starts, pushing up off the chair like he can’t control himself and has to move his body. “First, I want to say that we would really like you to stay with us. I know I’ve been awful, but Melody, we’ve talked and we… we all want you here.”
Without consciously meaning to, I gasp as my breath catches in my throat. What did he just say?
“That might be the kindest thing you’ve said to me in the last seven years,” I smirk, trying to play it off like a joke, but it falls awkwardly flat because everyone knows exactly how true it is.
Reis' eyes fill with anguish as he fidgets with the rings on his fingers.
“I-I know, but it’s true,” he says, swallowing audibly. Damn, that feels like it physically hurt him to say. “The guys and I talked earlier about, uh, that moment before we left. You know exactly what I’m talking about, right? It’s not like there were many other issues we had.”
“I do happen to know what you’re talking about.” If he wants to talk about this, I get it, but I’m not going to roll over and let him try to make this my fault.
Reis runs his hand through his shaggy hair. His dark hair is natural today, not heavily encased in gel to control his beautiful waves like he had it on stage. The dark locks are free and falling all over, just like I like them.
“Look, Melody, I’m not trying to be a dick,” he says, but Adam steps in.
“You have a funny way of showing it.”
“Shut up, Adam. I’m trying to talk to her.” And before I know it they’re locked in a male-bravado showdown. Adam kicks off the window and comes to stand in front of me.
“Guys,” I say quietly as I stand up, getting between them to calm the situation down. “Adam,” I start, putting my back to Reis so I can focus on the mammoth of a man in front of me. “It’s okay, I promise.” He’s not staring at me, but over my head at Reis with a threatening look.
I smirk, knowing that if Reis makes one wrong move, Adam’s going to deck him. Again . I don’t think Reis' pretty face can take many more hits.
They’re best friends–brothers–but they’re definitely fighting right now. I don’t like that they’re fighting because of me, it’s the one thing I was trying to protect them from. But here we are.
I put my hands on Adam’s stomach, feeling his washboard abs under the thin fabric of his shirt, and push him lightly so he looks at me.
“I’ve got this,” I whisper.
“I promised that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. That includes them, too.” He tips his chin in Reis' direction. I pull at his shirt, begging him silently to keep focused on me.
“And I am so thankful for that. For you. But this–Reis' shit–I’ve got to handle it myself. Okay?”
His baby blue eyes stare down at me with a beautiful, burning need to protect me, but he nods. Leaning up and kissing his soft cheek, I turn to face down with Reis.
Reis' eyes narrow, watching the two of us with a mixed expression.
“Melody, really, I’m,” he stutters, and takes my hands gingerly in his.
Sighing deeply, his eyes lower to where our joined hands lay between us, almost like he has to double check that I’ve let it happen, and haven’t smacked his hands away.
Reis' amber eyes find mine, and for a moment, the world stills.
There’s love there—deep and aching– but he continues to stare like he’s memorizing me, drinking me in, in a new light.
Like he thinks he’ll never get the chance again.
But beneath it, regret lingers, dark and heavy, pooling in the tight press of his lips, the flicker of something unsaid behind his gaze.
He swallows thickly and takes a deep breath.
“Why didn’t you tell us you were being bullied?”
That is… not what I was expecting him to ask first.
My brows knit together and I slowly turn my head to look at him out of my eye. What’s he getting at?
The old Reis, the one I knew, wouldn’t mess with me, but this new one… so far, he’s made it clear he hates me.
Sighing heavily, I ask, “Does it matter anymore?”
“It does.” He steps closer to me, staring at me so openly that it feels like it’s just the two of us.
I know the other guys are there–I can feel them–but Reis is asking me about the fuck-up that sent them away.
The bullying that caused the lying, the lying that caused them to leave.
The thing that has obviously been weighing on him for years.
“Because I didn’t think I needed to make myself look more pathetic in your eyes.
” I shrug, and Reis leans forward, squeezing my hands.
He’s giving me an anchor so I’m not sucked into the memories that are so fucking awful.
“It was mostly the girls. They were either jealous that you guys were with me and didn’t give anyone else attention, or were trying to convince themselves and me that I was a charity case to you guys.
I was able to push it aside most of the time.
When I kept ignoring it, they pushed it further…
and found the button that really pushed me over the edge and they knew it. ”
“What was it?” Reis whispers.
“Look,–” I start to say, but Adam cuts in.
“Tell us the truth, Melody. Don’t sugar coat it or push past it. Tell us,” he pleads, not unkindly but in such a way that I can tell he needs to know just like Kai did.
“It’s been too long, Mel. This can’t go on,” Markus agrees. “Please, baby girl, let us be there for you now.”
“They deserve to know,” Kai urges softly.
I jolt my head to the side to shoot him a dirty look, but the soft pleading look on his face gives me pause.
“It’ll hurt, but we all have to know exactly what our actions caused when we left in order to move forward.
To build a future with you. That’s what we want, if you want it too. ”
So, it’s four on one. Fuck.
My head drops back as I look to the ceiling to try and keep the tears from falling.
“Let us carry it with you,” Reis says gently.
“Reis,” a small sob leaves my lips involuntarily as I say his name desperately. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to keep bringing this up. I barely survived it the first time, and now I have to tell them how badly I was treated?
Goddamn it.
Reis looks determined, his fingers tightening in mine as I cry to keep the tears from falling. “Please, Reverb.”
“They were convinced that you all were fucking me,” I blurt out quickly.
What a place to start, Mel. “That all four of you wanted me and they had no idea how I kept your attention. So I must have been wild in the sack. The girls were brutal and ruthless, and the guys all thought I was easy. They all knew that you guys would punch their lights out if they got caught grabbing my ass or brushing up against my tits.” I try not to look at their faces, but I knew I’d lose that battle with myself.
Reis looks… wrecked and murderous. Like his whole world is crashing down at the same time he’s planning on going on a murder spree.
“I got called all kinds of nasty names because… because they said I was letting you all run a train on me and that I was a whore because I wanted you all. They said it like it was some kind of nasty, bad thing to be in love with the best guys I knew.” I hug my arms to my middle, trying not to fall apart.
“I endured it, but their sneers stuck in my head. Was it wrong to want you all? Is it?” I throw my arms out to the side,looking at each of them to gauge their real feelings.
Would finally saying this all out loud make them think I really am as disgusting as the people in high school convinced me I am?
“Is it wrong to want to be with you all? To be in love with each one of you and want you all to love me? Is that so fucking bad? Does it make me disgusting, greedy? I don’t know, I didn’t think so, but I was called all of that and more ,” I sob, the sound ripping through my chest as I break.
“And it turned out that the day you all left, the entire tune of the bullying changed. Suddenly, it was fine that I loved you all, but so fucking embarrassing that you guys had to leave the state to get away from my sorry ass. That you must have left me because you could never love me, let alone be in the same room as me anymore.”
“Melody,” Reis says my name like a prayer, breathy and low. Tears line my eyes and it’s so annoying because I’ve told this same fucking story more times in the last few days than I ever wanted to.