Chapter 20
TWENTY
It’s been a long day. An emotional day for all of us.
My knuckles are red from how long I spent pounding the sandbag in the gym. Flexing my hand to stretch out my aching muscles. I know I need to cool it with the boxing, especially this close to a tour, but I just… It’s been too much.
I want Melody. I want her here. With us.
I want to give her everything that she should’ve had but didn’t because I didn’t listen to my gut back then.
Guilt is eating at me. I know we apologized and I know that she’s here, but I can’t help but feel like I need to apologize for my part in this specifically.
Standing in front of the spare room door, her door, I knock lightly on the thick door.
It’s late. Looking down at my watch I see that it’s close to midnight.
Fuck , I shouldn’t have knocked, she’s probably asleep and I’m being an asshole.
Scratching my head, I wait for just a minute before turning. I’ll catch her in the morning.
Just as I take a step away I hear a soft, “Adam?”
Turning to face her quickly, I give a sheepish smile.
“Hi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even realize how late it was. We can talk in the morning if you want?” I step closer, taking in the way her tired eyes watch me with worry. God, I’ve missed her.
“Are you okay? Couldn’t sleep?”
I shake my head. I can’t tell her that I just don’t sleep anymore. I’m sure the dark circles under my eyes clue her in.
“Come here,” Melody whispers, ushering me inside her space, taking me by the hand. “You’ve gotta sleep, Adam.”
“I know,” I agree with her, letting her pull me into the dark room.
The white bedspread’s pulled up on one side like she’s only sleeping on one side of the bed.
A whole bed to herself and she’s only sleeping on less than half.
“Sleep is hard for me. And I don’t like getting high like Markus.
Sleeping pills make me drowsy the next day.
I can’t keep beat if my head feels like it’s lagging. ”
Melody looks at me with a sad, understanding look on her face before her hand cups my cheek.
“When was the last time you slept, Adam?”
She speaks so softly, so lovingly that my heart skips a beat and I lean into her touch.
“I sleep. I do. But I don’t sleep well. So, maybe… a few years?” I can’t remember the last time I slept well that wasn’t medicated. But I’m not going to tell her that.
“Come here,” Melody says, pulling me into her arms and nestling against me. My whole body lights up as her skin touches mine. She’s fucking perfect; her head lays against my chest and I can rest my chin on the top of her head.
It’s insane. The moment I feel her sigh against my chest, I feel myself relax like I haven’t in years. We’re quiet for a moment, just breathing each other in before she breaks the silence.
“Do you always wear a cut off T-shirt?”
It’s such an odd question, one I wasn’t expecting, that it makes me laugh.
“I usually do,” I say with a chuckle, holding her tighter to my chest. “When you’re playing the drums with as much gusto as I do, you get sweaty fast. This mitigates it. Plus, I get to show off all my tattoos.”
She leans back and looks at me, her eyes tracing over the ink that covers almost all of me.
“They are… very beautiful,” she whispers, biting her lip softly.
Fuck.
“Thank you,” my voice matches hers as I respond. The air around us shifts slightly. The air between us fills with tension.
“Do they all mean something?”
“Not all of them.” I look down, holding out my hand so my arm turns and flexes. “Most do.”
“Which one’s your favorite?” Her question, spoken so softly and so genuinely, makes me stop in my tracks.
I pull the side of my shirt aside so she can see my pec, where a small bird is in flight over my chest.
“This one probably,” I trace the wing softly.
“It wasn’t the first one I got, but I got it when I started to feel caged.
Like I’d made a choice I couldn’t change and I was stuck.
A golden cage is how Kai described what I was feeling.
” I speak softly, not wanting to break the tension between us, but wanting to tell her the truth.Melody’s eyes are dark and open, showing me just how much she understands me.
“We were making money, doing what we loved, getting our name out there, and suddenly, it felt like we were being put on leashes, not set free. I got this one, this little sparrow in flight, to prove that I’m never stuck.
I’m always able to change my life to be how I want it to be. ”
I won’t let someone else rule my life. I’ve spent the last seven years numb and in pain, all because I didn’t listen to my gut. And now that she’s here… it’s like I’ve been woken up. I won’t turn a blind eye.
Not again.
“That’s beautiful,” Melody says so quietly I almost don’t hear her. Her breath against my chest as she talks is intoxicating.
“You’re beautiful.”
Melody looks down, her blush visible even in the low light of the room.
“Thank you.”
“I’m just stating the truth, love.” I slide one of my hands up her arm, over her shoulder and gently, slowly to give her time to pull back if she wants to, I cup her chin. “Melody, I’m so sorry.”
Instead of pulling back, she leans into my touch and holds my arm. The dichotomy of her clean, white fingers holding onto my heavily tattooed arm feels so right.
“You’ve already apologized. Made it up to me. Stood up for me. Chose me .” Her eyebrows knit together as she speaks and I lean in closer.
“I may have, but I need to do it by myself. I need to hold your hands and beg for your forgiveness by myself.”
Melody shakes her head slightly as if she thinks I’m ridiculous, but doesn’t say anything.
Letting me continue, she nods.
“I knew something was wrong back then. When Reis and Kai told us what happened, what they heard, I knew something was weird. That you wouldn’t say that about us so callously.
But… I was young and dumb and I was so insecure that I thought it was true.
I heard what they said and,” I say, my voice laced with shame as I fight the urge to drop my eyes.
“And I didn’t do what I knew I should have, and talked to you about it.
Instead, I took the cowards way out. Letting them talk me into leaving you.
That’s not me shifting blame, it’s me taking it.
I should’ve put my foot down. I should’ve trusted you and our bond more.
I should’ve demanded we talk to you like everything in me was screaming to.
But then, we got here… and everything moved so fast. We were broke, homeless, trying to make it, and even though I thought of you every day, I couldn’t face you after what we’d done.
I figured you’d want nothing to do with us, if you still cared for us at all. ”
The space between us is tense and quiet. Melody’s dark hair falling around her shoulders temptingly and I try my best not to stare at her oversized T-shirt too long. She’s not wearing any shorts, so if the hem of the shirt rises any, I’ll be able to see her panties.
Is she wearing any?
Stop, now is not the time.
“I should’ve been stronger and stood up to them. Made them see. And I’m so fucking sorry that I didn’t. It might have saved us all the heartbreak. We could’ve all been together from the beginning,” I say with a shaky voice, the emotion making my voice break. “God, I’m sorry, Melody.”
“Adam,” Melody says quickly, moving her hands to my face as tears line my eyes. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, I look at her.
“Adam,” she whispers softly, looking at me with such care and love and understanding that it takes my breath away. “Are you going to fight for me now?”
My answer’s immediate and strong, “Yes.”
“I forgive you.”
And with those three words I feel the weight, the guilt, the anger, I’ve been repressing for seven years drip away. In its place is overwhelming love for her. For this beautiful, fiery, sassy, amazing woman in my arms.
The woman I’ve loved since I was a teenager.
Her dark eyes drop to my lips, and my breath catches.
I need her. I want her.
I want to taste her again, and this time, I want her to taste me.
We both surge forward at the same time, pressing together so there’s not an inch of space between us as I ravish her lips with mine. God, she feels so good. I’m going to take my time with her.
“Adam,” she moans, pulling back slightly to moan, wrapping her arms around my neck. Walking us backward until her legs hit the bed, I spin us so she’s sitting on my lap, straddling me.
“Is this okay?” I whisper against her lips.
“Please, don’t stop.” Goddamn , the way she whimpers… Ripping my shirt off over my head, I undress as quickly as I can without moving too far from her. Melody responds by doing the same, pulling the shirt she’s wearing over her head.
Oh my god.
“You’re breathtaking,” I say, marveling at the sight of the girl I love, completely naked on my lap.
“So are you.” She threads her fingers into my hair, pulling me in for another kiss and rolls her hips forward.
I might not survive this.
“Please,” she whispers against my lips as I run my hands up both sides of her thighs, feeling her silky, firm, skin under hand.
Melody’s chest heaves with each breath as she presses her bare chest closer to mine as my fingertips move closer to the apex of her thighs. Slowly moving higher and higher.
“ Please what, baby?” I ask softly.
“Adam, I need you. Make love to me,” she whispers as she bites her lip.
I see her pebbled nipples, and kiss down her neck, over her collarbone, down to where her nipples strain for me.
I wrap my lips around one, sucking and pulling, lavishing her breast with my tongue until she’s grinding against my covered cock.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“So fucking sure. I need you,” she says quickly, pulling back to grab at my gym shorts. Giving her a helping hand, I slide my shorts down, along with my boxers so my hardening cock springs free.