Chapter 50
Tori walked away from the house to a brick wall at the edge of the patio. The moon was barely rising. She turned toward the west where it was inky black except for stars twinkling like diamonds.
All around them katydids and tree frogs trilled their unique songs. Soon a whippoorwill joined their chorus with its lonesome call. Was it the one they heard last night, still calling for its mate?
Had that just been last night? Tori sat on the ground and leaned against the wall. Scott sat down beside her. In the dim light, she barely caught his profile.
“God’s creation.” He pointed toward the sky. “Did you ever see anything so beautiful?”
“It is amazing, isn’t it,” she replied softly.
Peace flooded her heart in spite of her worry about Drew.
Was this what her mom had talked about when she said God was big enough for any adversity life threw at her?
Scott hummed a tune, one she’d heard before but couldn’t place until he began to softly sing.
“I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder . . .”
She closed her eyes and raised her face to the night sky and let the rich timbre of his voice as he sang the words to “How Great Thou Art” wash over her.
When he finished, Tori blinked back the tears that had formed.
It’d been years since a song touched her that way even though she knew why he’d sung it.
Just like her mom, Scott wanted her to trust God.
But could she trust him with Drew? The peace she’d experienced just a moment ago fled as everything in her resisted letting go. She focused on Scott instead. “I didn’t know you could sing like that.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
That was the truth. And she wanted to know more.
“One day I’d like to show you a Colorado night sky,” he said.
She gave him a curious glance. “What were you doing in Colorado?”
He was quiet a minute, and she waited. He’d said little about his life before he came back to Logan Point other than he worked undercover.
“This isn’t the right time to talk about it, but I know you’ve felt the . . . electricity between us,” he said quietly. “And once we get Drew back, I’d like to see where our relationship can go.”
Her heart stilled. He wanted a relationship with her.
Tori couldn’t deny she was developing feelings for Scott, but doubt assailed her.
She hadn’t loved anyone since Michael, hadn’t wanted to open herself up to that kind of risk.
“Michael would’ve wanted you to embrace life again, not bury yourself in work.
” The words Amy spoke just a few days ago.
Embracing the possibility of a relationship with Scott would be like stepping off a cliff. No, more like a leap.
And then there was his alcohol addiction. Did she want to open herself up to that kind of worry? That he would relapse like her dad?
But he made her feel alive again.
“I . . .” She lifted her gaze to him. “I’d like to see too.”
He took her hand. “For that to happen, there are a few things you need to know about me and my faith. You may not feel the same once you know.”
“I won’t know until you tell me.”
“I never told you the details of when I was shot.”
“I’d like to hear them.”
He didn’t start right away, instead looked up at the sky again.
Then he dropped his gaze and turned to her.
“I’d been working undercover for the FBI at least five years, still trying to bust skinhead motorcycle gangs.
This particular case a DEA agent was working undercover with me.
When my cover was blown, and I was wounded, my team arrived and saved my life. ”
Heaviness wrapped around her. “The DEA agent?”
“He didn’t make it. Andy was my best friend.”
His voice was so low, she had to strain to hear him.
“Oh, Scott.” Tori bit her lip. “I’m so sorry.” Neither of them spoke for a minute. “How did you get past that?”
He pulled a blade of grass beside the walkway and stuck it in his mouth, chewing on it. “Part of me never has. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Andy. Another part of me is thankful God was looking out for me.”
“So why wasn’t God looking out for your partner?”
“I wish I knew how to answer that question. But I do know that since that night, I’ve looked at death differently. Andy knew he wasn’t going to make it. But he also knew Jesus. The last thing he said was for me not to feel guilty because I survived—he was going to a much better place.”
Heaven. A place everyone wanted to go, but most didn’t want to die to get there. What made his partner different? She raised her gaze just as a bright streak raced across the sky. Tori caught her breath. It was the first shooting star she’d seen since she was a kid. What was that rhyme . . .
“Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight,” she recited softly. “I wish I may, I wish I might . . .” She frowned.
“Have the wish I wish tonight,” Scott finished for her. “But you can’t depend on a wish.”
“I know.”
“You can depend on God.” She felt him turn toward her. “Tell me how you can look at that sky and not believe in God?”
“Oh, I do believe in him—that sky did not randomly happen. I just don’t believe he’s ever answered my prayers. He didn’t save my mother when I pleaded with him in the hospital after the wreck. And I didn’t even have time to pray for Michael—he died at the scene of the robbery.”
Scott stilled. “What are you talking about—you’ve never mentioned anyone named Michael before.”
And she hadn’t meant to mention him tonight. Tori pressed her lips together. In fact, she rarely discussed him with anyone other than Amy, and Tori wasn’t sure she wanted to share that part of her life with Scott.
Silence dropped between them like a dark cloud. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to.”
Tori wanted to look at him to see if he was for real.
The fact that he wasn’t pressuring her made her feel safe.
She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them.
“It happened right after my mom died. Michael and I met at the University of Tennessee my freshman year and we’d gotten engaged two days before he died.
I’d only told Amy about it because I was pretty well estranged from my family after Mom’s funeral, except for Drew.
“Michael had a scholastic scholarship, but money was tight, and he’d gotten a job at a convenience store near the campus working from eleven at night until seven in the morning. A kid strung out on drugs held up the store, and when he didn’t get enough money for his next buy, he shot Michael dead.”
For a second quiet surrounded them, then Scott released a breath. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“Me too.” Tori unfolded her legs and stood. She’d known too many deaths. It was why she didn’t have pets. After Michael, Tori decided she wasn’t opening her heart up to anyone, man or animal, again. It was too painful.
She had jettisoned friends left and right . . . except for Amy. Amy had been her friend since grade school, and she refused to abide by Tori’s new rules.
“I really am sorry.”
“Thanks.” She hadn’t heard him stand, but he was beside her. The night air was cool, and she rubbed her arms. His cell phone buzzed. “You better answer that.”
“It’s a text—I’ll check it in a second. Look, I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about. After Andy was killed, I would’ve lost it if it hadn’t been for God. He—”
“Stop!” She whirled around. “I don’t want to hear it,” she cried and fled to the house.
Tori had believed once that God was enough . . . until he wasn’t. God could’ve kept Michael and her mother from dying. But he hadn’t, and she couldn’t trust that he would protect Scott.
Scott dared people to shoot him, for heaven’s sake.