21. CT
21
ct
My run wasn’t nearly as flawless as Dani’s. It still felt good to get back into the showing world again. I hoped that my mom would be proud of me. Be proud of the man I was trying so hard to become. Not the one who allowed this fear to take a chokehold of me, but the one who actually lived the life I was blessed with.
The best feeling was having Dani waiting for me outside the ring, giving me encouraging words as I rode, and having her there for me when I was finished.
I’m pretty sure if I had fallen off Poco during my run, it wouldn’t have mattered to me so long as Dani had been there for me when I was done.
I was an absolute sucker.
After a long day and a quick dinner from the fast-food joint that was within walking distance, Dani and I had parted ways for the night.
I was in my trailer now, the one my mom and dad had gotten us when I was a young teenager. It had fully functioning living quarters inside, with a bed, a small kitchenette, a dining area, and a bathroom.
It was a big space for one person, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how Dani was one trailer over in her tight space. The trailer she was in was the cheapest thing you could buy. Instead of all the extras like mine had, hers only had a bed.
She had to go inside the event center we were riding in to shower and get ready. She couldn’t cook inside of it either, not that I used my kitchen, so she had to go out for most meals and use a cooler to try and keep any food on hand cold.
I sit in the small dining area, bored out of my mind with nothing to do. I’ve changed into shorts and sat here with no shirt because it was hot enough outside, even with my AC on.
I want to go see Dani. I want to march over to her trailer and pick her up and hug her again, to kiss her cheek as many times as she would let me. I want to make her see that I am in this. I am not ready for us to give up on each other.
Or for her to give up on me, not that I wouldn’t deserve it.
I stand and sigh. Why the fuck am I standing around here doing nothing when she’s right there within reach?
Old me wouldn’t have thought twice about going over there and dragging her back to hang out with me.
It doesn’t have to lead to more.
It can be casual, innocent.
I stomp out of my trailer, forgoing shoes and a shirt, probably looking half crazed but not giving a fuck. Her trailer is four feet away. I just have to walk around the front of it.
When I do, I see her trailer door propped open and frown. “Dani?” I call out so I don’t scare the shit out of her.
“Yeah!” she calls from inside, and I step up into her living area, only to be hit with hot, humid air.
“Damn, Dani, it’s fucking stifling in here.”
A sigh comes from the bed. I glance up and over to see her cute, pink-painted toes dangling over the side. I always loved that her favorite color is pink, even when she gave off a tough girl persona. Deep down, my girl was girly.
“I know,” she replies quietly, slowly. “My AC broke.”
I grind my molars, anger and frustration boiling inside me. “It broke?”
“Yup.”
“Dani,” I start, trying to keep a calm and patient voice even though inside, I’m about to explode. “When did it break?”
“I don’t know. It hasn’t worked since we got here,” she replies, her body still limp on the bed.
“Dani,” I ground out, my jaw aching from clenching it for too long. “Why didn’t you say something?”
Finally, she props herself up on her elbows, and I have to pointedly ignore the arousing image of Dani, her hair up high on her head with pieces falling out of her bun, her skin flushed, her tank top making it clear there is no bra underneath, looking down at me from her bed…
“Do you know how to fix ACs? I thought that was Graham’s area.”
“No, I don’t know how to fix ACs,” I say and shrug to myself. Then, without asking for permission, I grab her ankles, her eyes widening with surprise as she yelps, and I drag her toward me, quickly maneuvering her body so she’s flung over my shoulder.
I’m proud of myself for how smooth the move is.
“CT!” she squeals, grasping for something to hold on to. “What are you doing? ”
“Taking you to some cold air,” I reply, not admitting that I’m planning on her taking over the bed just so she can sleep somewhere cool and safe.
It had to have reached a hundred degrees today and staying in this trailer would be dangerous. Leaving the door propped would be worse.
“Wait! I don’t have my phone or keys!”
I glance around, seeing her purse. “They in your bag?”
“Yes,” she replies, her legs giving a little kick. “But it would be easier if you let me walk.”
I smirk and wrap my arm around her legs, grabbing her bag. “Where’s the fun in that?”
She sighs, and I smile to myself, carefully getting us out of the trailer, her purse in one hand and her in the other. I unhook the trailer door and let it slam shut. Thankfully, they lock automatically when they close, so I don’t have to dig her keys out.
We make it inside my living quarters, and I let her stand, her hands grazing over my bare chest as she does. I’m thankful that ranch work keeps me in shape, and then there is the fact that Dad and I can cook hardly anything. We don’t get to eat the good home cooking that once kept us a little plumper.
Dani sighs as the blast of cool air hits her. “Oh, wow, that feels good.” She tilts her face up, her neck and chest glistening with a light sheen of sweat.
“Make yourself at home,” I tell her, handing her bag over. I head to the little fridge and grab two waters, handing her one. She still looks too flushed for my liking, and I’m determined to cool her down, so she doesn’t overheat and faint.
She plops down at the little table area and smiles, fanning her face with one hand. “Lot of memories in this trailer.”
I nod, sitting opposite her. “There are.”
“Remember when your mom taught us spoons?” she asks with a laugh. “You and Graham were so mad that your mom teamed up with me.”
“That’s because you two cheated!” I laugh with her, thinking back on those memories. “You kept saying you ‘heard something,’ making us go check and then kept adding spoons and taking them out when we weren’t looking.”
“That was all your mom,” she replies proudly, still chuckling. “I couldn’t believe Donna Trevors was playing dirty tricks on her sons. It was so much fun.”
I smile fondly at the memory. “My mom loved you. She always said…” I pause, not sure if I should bring it up or not .
Dani’s eyes shine, happiness and sadness present at the memories of the woman who had an impact on both of our lives. “What did she say?”
I rub at my beard and say, “She always said that God had blessed her with one hell of a daughter-in-law.”
Tears well in Dani’s eyes, some spilling out onto her cheeks. She wipes at her nose, taking the cap off her water and sipping it. She clears her throat and says, “She was always so nice to me.”
“I told you she loved you. I know she wished you had been born her daughter but was always so grateful that we were…” I pause again. Fuck, am I really throwing this out there? I’ve been clear with Dani about what I want—her. But throwing our past in her face isn’t exactly the nicest thing. “That we were in love,” I finally finish, putting it out there for her to hear.
We’re quiet for a moment, and Dani looks around the quiet living space. You can hear the AC running from inside, but the shut door blocks out the sounds of running generators, so inside it’s quiet, peaceful.
She clears her throat and looks at me. “So, how do you feel about your run today?”
I bend my head slightly forward and shrug. “It was a good first run out.”
She inspects me, a gentle smile pulling at her lips. “You’re being modest.”
“Why do you say that?”
Her jaw drops, and her previous sadness of reminiscing disappears. “You placed first in the class!”
I shrug again, trying to stay humble about it even though it feels fantastic. “I didn’t have that much competition.”
Scoffing, she says, “Tell that to Smith. Boy, was he pissed.”
I nod my head and smile cheekily. “Well, it’s not my fault he’s not as good.”
Rolling her eyes, she shifts on the bench seat before lying down flat.
“What are you doing?”
She reaches up to the table, setting her drink down. “I’m going to sleep. It’s late, and I have an early morning wake-up call.”
She wasn’t kidding. Our morning call was at five a.m. We had to get the horses fed and happy before the seven o’clock showtime that she had. My class followed hers, so I didn’t have to get ready as early, but if she fed Lady, and I didn’t feed Poco, I would get some serious attitude from her. Mares .
“You’re not sleeping there,” I say, standing and moving over toward her.
“Where else should I sleep? There’s only one bed.”
I roll my eyes and look down at her, her forearm is thrown over her eyes, and she looks half-asleep. Even with no makeup on, hair not done, in her tank and shorts, she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“Come on.” I reach for her hands. “We can be adults and share the bed.”
Comically, her eyes pop open, and I have to hold in a laugh. “Share the bed? You mean together?”
I bite back a smile, wondering how tired she must be. “Yes, together. We can control ourselves.”
She scoffs and fluffs her ponytail. “Please, you can’t resist this,” she says this all as she crawls up the few steps that lead to a bed that nestles in the gooseneck of the trailer.
I don’t reply, knowing that if I did, it would probably put her guard up I’ve been so careful to dismantle, and I don’t want that.
She climbs beneath the thin covers and snuggles in. I turn out the overhead lights and follow her in, getting on the farthest side from her.
Once we’re settled into bed, I can feel her presence like a heavy weighted blanket. Even though she’s half asleep at this point, the tension is tangible.
“CT?” she whispers into the dark.
“Hmm,” I hum back, trying not to be too loud now that the room is dark and quiet save for the AC unit. Like if I talk too loudly, it will change things for her, change how she feels about us sharing this bed right now.
“Thank you for coming to the show.” She turns on her side, facing me. I can barely make out the outline of her body in the dark. “I know you’re here to show too, but I also feel like you’re here for me.”
Chancing it, I reach over under the covers, tangling her fingers with my own and ignoring the spark that zaps through my skin when I touch her. “I’m always here for you.”
She makes a contented noise and seconds later, her soft snores are filling the air around us, and I smile more broadly than I ought to.
The time around us seems to still, and for the first time in years, I sleep soundly, knowing that the path I’m on—as corny as that sounds—is the right one.