CHAPTER ELEVEN
Avonlea – Sixteen Years Ago
“Avi?” Jamie’s voice carries across the hedgerow to where I’m sitting with my back against a tree, arms pulled tight around my stomach. I quickly swipe at the tears on my cheeks, and then I run. “Avonlea?”
I slip into the barn and out of sight. He’ll want to know why I’m crying, and there’s no way I can tell him. He may be my closest friend in Cluaran, but he’s still a twelve-year-old boy. I don’t want him to laugh at me like the boys at school would.
But Jamie’s never been like the boys at school, not with me.
I sink down beside a hay bale, the rough straw prickling my arm, and more tears slip free.
I wish Mum were here. She said she’d come get me when I called, but I didn’t want to be dramatic. Making her drive five hours because I got my period for the first time felt dramatic… Still, I never imagined it happening here, with only Grannie to ask for help.
I breathe and tell myself it’ll be fine.
A few days, a week tops, and then I can pretend this never happened.
Until next month, I guess. A little sob escapes me at the thought and I squeeze my arms tighter around my middle.
It hurts, but it’s nothing to how embarrassed I was when Grannie told Papa that she needed to run into town to get me pads.
He went white as a sheet, and then bright red. I’m pretty sure I did too.
I’ve been hiding out ever since she got back.
But now…
“Avi?”
I must’ve missed the creak of the barn door because Jamie’s looking down at me and there’s nowhere else to hide.
I lift my head from where I was resting it against the wall and look into the prettiest green eyes I’ve ever seen.
Even in the gloom of the barn, the large chunks of light filtering in through the old roof make them shine.
But I don’t want to see him right now.
More like, I don’t want him to see me.
“What’s wrong?” His voice is soft and cautious… nervous. “Are you mad at me?”
I shake my head and dash the tears away.
“No, I…” I don’t know what to say. God, the embarrassment that burns hot under my skin at just the thought of telling him is enough to make my eyes fill again.
So, I pull my knees in toward my chest, wrap my arms around them, look at my shoes, and say, “Just leave me alone.”
Not once in three summers have I asked him to leave me alone. We’re practically joined at the hip for the entire six weeks I’m here.
“What did I do, Avi?” There’s hurt in his voice, and that only makes the salty tears fall harder.
I can’t look at him. I’m too embarrassed, too ashamed, too afraid of what he’ll think if I tell him.
He backs away with slow steps that scrape across the cool stone floor.
I’ve never kept secrets from him, never had to. We’ve never so much as bickered over anything. He’s my best friend—not just on Skye, but in general. Even with all my friends at home, I like Jamie Murray the best.
I lift my head and watch him walk away, shoulders slumped.
He’s almost to the door when I shout after him.
“Wait.” His eyes are sad when he turns back around.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t… It’s not…” I blow out a big breath and the words fall out in a rush before I can stop them. “I started my period, okay?”
And then I bury my face in my hands.
This is it for our friendship. Boys don’t want to talk about this stuff. They don’t want to know about it or think about it. And here I am blurting it out while sitting in a crying heap on the ground.
But he doesn’t run away. To my shock, Jamie sinks down next to me until his side is pressed against mine, warm in the damp chill of the barn.
“Why’d you hide from me?” he asks.
I shrug and he knocks his shoulder against mine, coaxing me to finally lift my head from my hands. His eyes are curious, but there’s hurt there too.
“I didn’t want to talk about it. With anyone, but especially not with you.”
“Why?” A line appears between his eyebrows.
I scoff and rub my face against my sleeve, relieved when it doesn’t come away snotty. “You’re a boy.”
“Aye, and you’re a lass. Did you tell your grannie?” he asks, like we’re talking about the weather and not my period.
My cheeks flame and I nod. “Yeah, and she told my papa.” I shudder at the memory. “Maybe I should have Mum come get me. She said she would. I just—”
“You can’t go home now. We still have three more weeks of break. You don’t really want to go, do you?” he asks, looking distraught at the idea of me leaving early.
I shake my head and lean slightly into his shoulder, but a twinge of pain in my stomach makes me wince away.
“Does it hurt?” Jamie asks, and I nod, pressing my palm over the dull ache.
I’m too mortified to say anything. To my surprise, his warm hand covers my free one where it sits on my lap and he laces his fingers between mine. We’ve never held hands before… but I think I like it. I think I like it a lot.
“You know,” he says, “my mum has a heating pad she uses sometimes. Maybe you could try that.”
I lift my head with a snap and our gazes collide.
“What?” he says, taking in my whole face.
“I just… This really doesn’t weird you out?” I duck my chin again, but he follows the motion so I can’t hide from him.
“No. Why? It’s just part of being a girl, right? At least that’s what Mum says. Gran too. So, you want to try that heating pad?”
And just like that, starting my period doesn’t feel as scary.
I nod and give him the first smile I’ve worn all day.
He stands and brushes the hay from his pants then extends his hand.
I slip mine into it, getting more used to the feel of holding his, and with a gentle tug, he pulls me from the ground.
“I bet Gran will even give you some of Grandad’s chocolate biscuits if you want them. My mum always says they make her feel better.”
The bright sunlight is blinding as we walk out of the barn, but it illuminates his smile as he leads me across the garden, through the hedge, and into the warm kitchen of the T&T for tea and biscuits.
I got really lucky with Jameson Murray. I hope we can be friends forever.