CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Jamie – Now
The hot spray of the shower beats against my skin, washing away both the dirt and the lingering ache from hanging the tire swing this morning.
I’d planned to finish it yesterday but was too distracted by Avi’s arrival with Lennox—plus they asked Gran, Grandad, and me to join them for dinner, so I had to stop and clean up anyway.
Though, Avi didn’t look like she minded the state I was in.
I saw the way her eyes trailed over my body.
I shouldn’t have taken so much pleasure in that fact, but I sure as hell did.
She hasn’t looked at me that way in a long time and, after everything, I never thought I’d see that kind of desire in her eyes again.
Of course, then she’d cried when she realized I was building a tire swing for Lennox and that sobered me up a bit.
It was the reminder I needed that it wasn’t just me and Avi having a moment…
She’s a mum. One who’s built a whole life I’m only beginning to glimpse.
And our lives are only overlapping for a short time—again.
Feeling anything more than friendly toward her is a bad idea.
When I joined them all for dinner last night, I settled into the idea of being her friend again.
Which means no more kissing on the swing or looking for desire in her eyes.
We need to find some semblance of normal—me, her, my grandparents, even Lennox—because we’re all going to be here sharing this place for a while. At least I hope we will be.
Grandad’s condition is pretty stable, though some days I hardly see him—days when he’s too tired to be in the hustle and bustle of the inn or kitchen.
I make a concerted effort to seek him out in the cottage on those days, unwilling to let even one day pass without sharing tea or a meal or laughter with him.
The doctors say his prognosis is the same.
He could still have a year… or he could have only months.
We just don’t know, so we have to cherish every moment we can.
I step out of the shower to the reverberation of a knock at my door. “Hang on,” I call out, and quickly run the towel through my hair and over my body, pulling on jeans and a dark green long-sleeve T-shirt.
Behind the door is Grandad, leaning on his cane, a wide smile on his face.
“Great work on the swing, son,” he says, clapping me on the back and stepping into the room without preamble.
“Thanks, I think it turned out pretty well,” I say, sidestepping to give him more space to enter.
“It did,” he says, turning a jovial grin my way. “Your gran told me she saw you on it for a few minutes once it was hung up.”
I grin and drop my gaze, chuckling at how it must have looked to her. A grown man standing on a tire swing, pulling against the chains to make it sway. “Well, I figured if it could support me, it was safe enough for Lennox.”
“And you just wanted to,” Grandad says, laughter bubbling up.
“That too. It’s been a long time since I was on a tire swing.
” The feel of it was almost euphoric. I know I was grinning like an idiot the whole time and I guarantee Gran got a good laugh out of watching me.
It was the wind in my hair along with the knowledge that I’d built it that made me so gleeful. “I hope Lennox will enjoy it.”
Something pinches in Grandad’s features for a second before he turns to take in the room. “I’m sure he will. You and Avi always did. So, how’s the story coming?”
He walks over to my desk, where my laptop is open next to my copies of their letters.
“Really well. There’s a piece of the timeline where I don’t have any letters, so I was thinking this week we could sit down and you can help me fill it in a bit.”
I’ve had several sit downs with one or the other, or both of them, to go over details from the letters that needed clarification or to paint the picture in more vivid color, but this period is completely blank.
“Yeah, we can do that.” He nods, brow furrowed in a contemplative look. “Maybe this weekend, after Lennox leaves? Your gran and I are going to help Avonlea keep an eye on him while he’s here, since she’ll be in the kitchen,” he explains.
“Of course. I’m here to help too, if she needs it,” I offer.
I don’t have a lot of experience with kids, but Rory’s boyfriend has a daughter a little younger than Lennox and I actually really enjoyed hanging out with her this past winter when they were in Tahoe.
I wouldn’t mind getting to know Lennox a little bit too.
He reminds me a lot of how Avi and I were at that age. It’s kind of a trip.
“I’m sure that would be appreciated. He might enjoy your company more than ours.
” Grandad’s eyes twinkle in the light, that look he’s always had—the one that hides his secrets—showing on his face.
“Speaking of, I think he was about to find his way onto that swing when I passed, so I better go check on him.”
“Let me go. Why don’t you go check on the kitchen? I know you can’t stay away for long,” I say, wanting to be there to see what Lennox thinks of the swing.
“Aye, you’re not wrong… Just don’t tell your gran if you see me helping out a wee bit.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t overdo it and it can be our secret.”
I throw my towel across the back of the chair—I can hang that up later—and slip my shoes on before following him out the door.
The kitchen is pure chaos when we arrive. Apparently a sauce spilled and nearly caused a fire, so everyone is moving a million miles a minute to get everything cleaned up and back on track.
Avi’s hair is a frizzy mess piled atop her head, perspiration beaded at her temples.
Hamish looks stoic but irritated—it’s a quintessential look for this particular Scotsman.
Yet, as soon as Grandad enters the fray, the whole tone of the place calms and begins to settle.
He’s always been good at that. Settling things that feel out of control.
Not wanting to be in the way of an already hectic situation, I head for the garden. I expect to find Lennox on the swing, but he isn’t there. It sits empty, swaying gently in the breeze.
Where are you, Lennox?
Did Avi give him permission to roam beyond the garden?
I bite my lip, not wanting to worry her but also not knowing where else he might be. It’s fine. I’m sure he’s here somewhere. Probably just walking around.
Think, Jamie. Where did you go when you were his age?
That’s when it dawns on me and I turn away from the swings to look straight at the ladder to the roof.
Of course.
I’ve only been up here once since that first night Avi arrived. When I yelled at her and she hit back with the comment about being there for the people who want her. I always wanted her. I just realized it too late, and she didn’t want me anymore by that point.
I was too late.
When my head pops up over the roof, I see Lennox, leaning against the far side of the chimney, legs out in front of him as he stares out toward the loch.
Avi and I usually sat on the other side, facing away from the street and the farm next door so no one would be able to see us…
Also so we’d be able to see anyone coming up the ladder.
Lennox hasn’t figured that out yet, and he likely doesn’t know he’s been found.
I purposely make more noise than necessary so he can hear me coming and not get scared. The last thing I need is to explain that I startled him and he fell off the roof.
I scramble closer and he turns, a sheepish expression covering his features.
“If I remember correctly, your mum said you weren’t supposed to come up here.” Though, if anyone is to blame for this little excursion, it’s me, seeing as I gave him the idea.
He shrugs and turns back to look at the loch. “I was careful.”
I nod, remembering how invincible I felt as a ten-year-old. “Can I sit with you for a few minutes? Before I force you to come back down.”
“Aye.” He eyes me where I sit a few feet away with my elbows locked around my knees. “So, you grew up here?”
“Until I was fourteen. Did your mum tell you that we met when we were your age?”
“Yeah, she said she came here every summer to stay with her grandparents. They owned that farm, right?” He points toward the farm that’s now owned by a new family. The barn looks better taken care of and they have a bunch of highland cows—including adorable baby ones—munching in the back pasture.
“They did. We used to run around and get into all sorts of mischief… and messes. The day your mum and I met, we fell into a mud puddle under the tire swing. I’m lucky your great-grandparents let her play with me at all after that.
” I probably shouldn’t have told him that…
I’m just giving him more bad ideas. “You never met them?”
He shakes his head. “No. They died last year. We never came up to Skye before that, and they never visited us either. Mum doesn’t talk about them. But we came up last summer to sell the farm and I met your grandparents. I like them.”
“They’re pretty great. I think they’re excited to have you here. They’ve missed having kids around. It’s been a long time since your mum and I were here.” An easy silence falls, but when I look at Lennox, his brows pinch together slightly. “Are you excited to come to Skye?”
“Aye. I wish I could come up now. I’ll miss Gran and Pa, but…” He trails off, looking glum.
“But what?” I ask, wondering if the fading bruise around his eye has anything to do with it.
“You moved away, right? Did you like where you went?” I note the change of subject but don’t press. It seems Avi’s told him a little bit about me.
“I did—to America—when I was fourteen. I love it there. It’s been my home now for a long time.”
“So, it was good when you left? Going somewhere new?”
“Yeah. I didn’t want to go initially, but once I got there and met new people and made new friends, I loved it.”
His pinched look relaxes. “I hope I can make new friends here.”
“You will. It’s a small town, but it was always very welcoming.
I’m sure the kids your age will be thrilled to have someone new around.
” I think of how I was with Avi. “I was so excited the day your mum came to stay with her grandparents—that I’d have someone right next door to spend time with.
I pretty much forced her to be my best friend.
” I shake my head and chuckle, but inside, my heart squeezes.
“She was your best friend?” he asks, cocking his head to assess me.
“Yeah, for a very long time, she was.”
“I thought I had a best friend,” he states, looking out toward the water, “but he isn’t.”
“Why not?” I ask, matching his posture and looking at the loch.
“He just…” He pauses, shrugs dramatically, and blows out a breath. “He isn’t very nice, I guess. And now I’m suspended.”
Those two things don’t exactly add up in my mind, but I’m not sure how far to push. “You got suspended?” I ask with as much nonchalance as possible.
“Aye. I hit him. Then he hit me back.” I meet his gaze and once again note the greenish bruise under his eye.
“Ouch.” I grimace, remembering that feeling. It’s been a long time since I got into a fight, but it’s not something you easily forget. “Mind me asking why you hit him first?”
“It wasn’t my fault. He said—” With a shake of his head, blond hair flopping with the movement, he changes course. “It doesn’t matter. He shouldn’t have said it, and I just snapped.”
I nod. “I get that. I got suspended once for fighting.”
His eyes blow wide with interest and I can’t help but smile. “You did?”
“Yeah.” I chuckle. “My parents were not pleased.”
“Did you get into trouble?” He scoots a little closer to where I’m sitting.
“They lectured me about how fighting isn’t the answer, and I had to do a lot more chores that week because I wasn’t in school.”
“Are you going to tell me the same thing—that fighting isn’t the answer?”
“It usually isn’t, but it’s not really my place to tell you that. What did your mum say?”
He shrugs. “I told her what happened and she got really mad, but not at me. So I kind of thought maybe it was okay that I hit him.”
I narrow my eyes, wondering. What did this kid say that even Avi would feel justified in Lennox hitting him?
“Look, if you can avoid a fight, it’s better to do so. But there are some that are worth having.”
Lennox studies me like I’m under a microscope, but I don’t know what he’s looking for. Then, in a rush, he says, “Lachlan said Mum left me behind and wasn’t going to come back. Just like my dad. That I was an orphan.”
I draw back, the words hitting like a physical blow. Fuck, I want to hit this kid. Yes, I know that sounds bad, and no, I’d never actually do it—but damn, that’s just fucking cruel.
“Lennox, I—” I don’t know what to say. No wonder Avi was pissed.
“I know it’s not true. She loves me.” He just shrugs again.
“She does. She’s missed you so much in the time she’s been up here.” He trusted me by sharing this; the least I can do is ensure he knows just how much Avi loves him.
His eyes brighten, a silver sheen coating them and making the green shade spark.
I think about the second part of his friend’s taunt and wonder for the millionth time who his dad is, this man who supposedly left him—if his friend is to be believed, which is a long shot, but still.
I don’t think Avi would appreciate me asking him.
It’s clearly a touchy subject for Lennox and not one I have any right to dig into.
“And because she loves you so much, we should probably get off the roof before she kills us both,” I say to lighten the mood.
His boyish laugh is light and unencumbered, and I give myself a mental pat on the back for helping bring him out of whatever funk he was in.
I make my way down the ladder first, feeling suddenly protective over him and needing to see him safely to the ground. When he reaches the final rung and hops off, lifting his hand for a high five, the kitchen door opens and we’re met with Avi’s wide eyes and a scowl.
Oops.