Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
MAEVE
M y feet skated over the icy sidewalk like I was a newborn foal finding its legs for the first time, though it wasn’t a surprise when I took Callum’s pace into account. He walked so fast that I had to run along by his side like a five-year-old kid trying to keep up with their mother.
Digging my heels in, I pulled back, bringing us to a halt. “Can you slow down?”
Callum’s steps faltered, and he peered down at me.
“I resembled Bambi on ice there for a second,” I complained. “I was about to end up on my ass.” Tugging my hand away from the crook of his arm, I rounded on him. “What’s going on with you?”
He folded his arms across his chest, his dark blue eyes like laser beams boring into mine. “I want your number.”
“You never asked before.”
“You never offered either.”
“Yeah, because you don’t want that type of marriage, remember?”
The heel of his hand came up to dig into his eye, and he sighed deeply. “What the fuck are you listening to me for? I didn’t mean we’d ignore each other and never fucking communicate. Plus, I’m obviously a fucking eejit.”
Despite myself, I laughed.
The corner of his mouth hitched as he watched me chuckle. “You’ve got a great laugh,” he said under his breath as if talking to himself.
I scrunched my nose and peered up at him. “Callum O’Shea. You’re the most confusing man I’ve ever encountered. What’s going on with you? I’m supposed to be the weird one.”
He jerked as if coming out of a daze and stepped back. “Jesus Christ, I don’t know, Mae. I’m as confused as you are. All I know is that you talk to everybody on the phone except me, and I don’t fucking like it, especially when I don’t even have your damned number.” He leaned down until our faces were inches apart. “You’re my fucking wife; how can you talk to Donovan all night and not even give me your digits?”
My heart gave a flutter at the hurt in his tone, even though I knew it shouldn’t. Heart fluttering was bad, especially when it came to Callum ‘almost fucked your sister’ O’Shea. However, he was right; giving everybody except him my number was petty, but what if there was an actual emergency and I needed help?
“Give me your cell,” I ordered.
He pulled it out of his pocket before unlocking it and handing it to me.
“How many women’s names have you got stored in this thing?” I snipped, taking it from him and keying in my name and number.
“None,” he declared. “As soon as I move on, I delete, then I really move on. There’s nobody on the scene, and there hasn’t been since before we got wed, so the only number in here right now is yours.”
I steeled myself against the ‘right now’ and called my cell from his so I could store his number too.
“I wanted to say sorry for everything that went down on our wedding day,” he murmured.
My eyes shot up to meet his.
“I was an asshole in the car after our wedding. Everything felt like it was moving too fast, and I was out of control. I’d just pissed Paddy off by ordering his associates out of the church, and I reacted badly. God only knows what I was thinking. I didn’t even mean half the shit that came outta my mouth.” He sucked air in through his nose to fortify himself before continuing, “Then you overheard Shannon and me, and everything went from a bit of a crapshow to a total shitshow at the speed of light.”
A sharp ache shot through my chest. It happened every time I was reminded of him and her; the pain and humiliation morphed into a short, sharp shock.
“You should’ve fessed up,” I stated. “Instead, you gave her the tools to corner and blindside me. You must’ve known she’d be baying for my blood, especially when, in spite of her meddling, you still went ahead with the wedding. She already thinks I took her dad’s love from her. Now she’ll think I set out to take you from her, too. It’s how her nasty little mind works.”
He pulled his coat lapels together to protect himself from the cold, then tied my loose-hanging scarf securely around my neck. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about it.”
“For a man who thinks he knows women, Callum O’Shea, you’re really clueless.”
His eyes flicked over my face, and he slipped his phone back into his pocket. “I’m beginning to see you’re right... again.”
We turned and set off walking, though thankfully slower. “That mindset right there, where I’m always right. You stick with that, and we’ll get along great. Well, at least until we break up in a few months, and we have to start hating each other.”
His body jerked from beside me. “Don’t say that shit.”
Huh?
Both our necks swiveled to face each other. Our eyes locked, and my heart went all aflutter again.
Damn.
“We’ve been married five days,” he said quietly. “Let’s just get to know each other without any more talk of divorce just yet.” He took my hand and tucked it into the crook of his arm.
His body felt big and warm next to mine, like a shield that wouldn’t let anything get to me. It was bittersweet because I’d never had that before. I’d gone it alone for so long I didn’t quite know what to make of it or how I should feel.
I didn’t want to get used to it. Callum made it clear where we stood back in New York, so becoming dependent on him would be a mistake when, inevitably, I’d lose it all. Already, the thought of leaving brought a lump to my throat, so I had to set some boundaries if I was going to survive this marriage.
He pointed down the far end of the road. “Down there, you’ve got Monument Street. It leads to the park, and you’ll find most of the civic and government offices down there, too, like the town hall and the mayor’s office. Kennedy has her law firm there, too, along with a psychologist, who has a practice attached to the town’s family doctor and a clinic where they do all the midwifery and baby stuff.” He pointed across the street. “That’s the salon the guys were talking about. Tristan owns it now. It’s where all the ladies go to gossip along with this place.” He grabbed the handle of the building we’d arrived at. “This is the coffee shop, Martha’s.” He pulled, and I heard a bell tinkle just as a wave of warmth hit me along with the sweet smell of sugar and good coffee, and Callum ushered me inside.
Studying the room, I almost clapped with joy.
It was beautiful. The quintessential bakery and tearoom had been updated in creams and taupes, with a mosaic-tiled floor that picked out the accent colors. One long couch ran across the window, surrounded by wooden, spindly tables and chairs where you could sit and people-watch. To the side of the counter was a glass wall where a man transferred some delicious-looking cookies onto a glass platter with a woman beside him.
“Sweet baby Jesus, my ass is about to be the size of a house,” I declared, smiling at a group of pre-teens who sat across the room. It was busy but not packed, and there were plenty of seats available, which was just as well, seeing as I never wanted to leave.
“The bigger your ass, the better, as far as I’m concerned,” he muttered.
My eyes snapped toward him just as the lady bustled through from the side of the shop. “Hey! Good to see you, Callum. The usual?”
“Yeah, thanks, Martha,” Callum replied, nodding down at me while he went for his wallet. “This is Maeve. Maeve, meet Martha.”
I stuck my hand out. “Hey. This place is amazing! I was just telling Callum how big my ass is about to get.”
The other woman laughed and gave my hand a hearty shake before pivoting and pointing down at her rounded, ample derriere. “Tell me about it. I gave up on my ass years ago. Though I’ve got an excuse, seeing as I have to sample the goods, you know, quality control and all that.”
“Hush, woman,” a deep voice carried from the kitchen. “I keep telling you, your ass is perfect.”
I looked around Martha to see a tall, handsome, but weathered man come into view.
“Yo, Cal,” he greeted, walking toward the counter, pausing to give Martha a kiss on her temple as he moved past. “Haven’t seen ya since your pa’s funeral service. How ya doin’?”
Callum’s face blanched slightly, and I realized the question caught him off guard. Still, he recovered quickly.
It was crazy how profound a loss could be and how deeply it could affect you, but in fleeting moments, how it was so easy to forget. That was until somebody reminded you, and the pain tore through you again.
“I’m good, Ed,” Callum replied. “Keeping busy. I’m glad I’ve seen you. I’ve been thinking of making some changes to the bar. Dischordium’s gonna start playing one weekend a month, so Donny’ll need help on the door. How would you feel about helping him organize security?”
The man, Ed, gave Callum a sharp nod. “No problem. We’ll set something up for Thursday. It’s my day off from the Demons.” His gaze slid to Martha, who by then was already at the coffee machine banging filters around. “That cool, woman?”
She smiled, looking at me and rolling her eyes. “I don’t know how my husband coped before we met, and I certainly can’t work out why he checks in with every move he makes.”
He grinned. “I didn’t cope without you, M. You keep me on the straight and narrow. And I told you I’d take you over to the Superstore in Mapletree on Thursday.”
“You can do both,” she assured him. “Emmy’s coming in, so I have cover.”
“I’ll get to you by early afternoon,” the guy told Callum. “We’ll be back from Mapletree by lunchtime. My wife’s a morning kinda gal.”
“My wife is, too,” Callum announced, lips twitching. “But Maeve’s more likely to wake up before the birds to finish her book, right, babe?”
A hush fell over the room, apart from the sound of the metal tongs Martha dropped, which clattered loudly on the tiled floor.
“Umm. Y-Yeah?” I replied questioningly, looking around.
“Add a couple of slices of lemon heaven onto that tray, please, M,” Callum asked breezily, ignoring the shocked silence. “I’m introducing Maeve to your culinary delights one dessert at a time.”
“You’re married?” Martha breathed, eyes wide. “You. Callum O’Shea, got married?”
His chest puffed out. “Yep. Last Friday in New York.”
The entire coffee shop came alive at once because everybody began talking. One of the teens stuck his fingers in his mouth and wolf-whistled while another one called out their congratulations.
Callum looked toward them and grinned his thanks.
“This is lovely news. Best of luck to you both,” Martha told us warmly.
“Thanks.” Callum glanced down at me, his expression softening when he saw my look of shock. “You okay with announcing it to the town?”
“Even if I wasn’t, it’s too late to close the stable door now. The horse bolted, and he’s halfway across the darn field, neighing to his horsey friends about how he’s finally found freedom.”
Martha laughed.
Within a minute, our plates and coffee had been loaded onto a tray, and we weaved our way across the coffee house to a secluded table.
My belly felt tight and full of butterflies.
Callum took me by surprise. I knew he’d told Bowie and Atlas he’d married me and, of course, Carbine, but to declare we were husband and wife to the community at large had left me at a loss for words, and I didn’t know if it was in a good or bad way.
On the one hand, I knew our news would come out eventually, but on the other, I always assumed it would be lowkey.
The way he’d just announced it made it seem like we’d had some kind of whirlwind romance. We were an unlikely couple at best, who didn’t look like we belonged together, and I couldn’t help worrying if he’d screwed the pooch on this one.
On the flight to Wyoming, I gave myself a good talking-to. By the time we landed in Rock Springs, I’d come to terms with my new and really strange situation. After Callum announced his intention to lead separate lives, I ached with the humiliation of it, and I knew that wouldn’t do. Somehow, during all his support with the wedding, I’d unknowingly begun to romanticize what we were, even though I knew better.
Then we talked in the car, and shortly afterward, I overheard him and Shannon arguing, and I came back to earth with a bump so hard that I was still reeling from it. I knew then that I needed to pull back, get some space, and gain some much-needed perspective. The dull ache his words and actions had left inside me proved how attached I’d already gotten and how easy it would be for him to really hurt me if I continued down the path I was on.
And I didn’t want that.
Callum was so beautiful, strong, and confident. Shannon and Erin would call him an eleven out of ten.
I was Maeve, the nerd—they would call me a four at best, and that was only because I was funny. I knew I was more, but society as a whole didn’t. So much respect was attached to looks and a certain personality type, both of which I didn’t possess.
For a minute there, I’d forgotten that elevens and fours didn’t mix well—we were too far apart to ever have anything of substance, and Callum had proved himself too shallow anyway.
But I wouldn’t forget again.
“Penny for ‘em,” Callum’s deep voice rumbled.
A warm shiver flickered down my spine, but I steeled myself against it, pulling my shoulders straight and sitting up stiffly in my chair. “I’m just pondering a few things.”
“Shoot,” he ordered gently.
I moved my index finger between us. “This is the most unlikely marriage in the whole wide world, Callum O’Shea.”
His eyes fell to his coffee, and he slowly stirred it. “What do you mean by that?”
“You’re you, and I’m me,” I said decisively. “Men like you end up with the Shannons of the world, while I end up with quiet accountant types. We live in a small town where you’re well-known, and now we have the challenge of convincing everybody for both our reputation's sake that this is real. Maybe in the future, you should run any big announcements past me before you... well… announce them.”
He placed his stirrer on a napkin and sat back. “You think we could keep it quiet in this town?”
“You were the one who wanted to keep it quiet, Callum O’Shea,” I reminded him.
“Why do you always call me Callum O’Shea?” he asked. “Why not just Callum?”
“I… err… Do I?” I asked nervously.
“Yep.” He took a sip of coffee, studying me closely over the rim of his mug. “Callum O’Shea this and Callum O’Shea that. I’m your husband, and I know it’s not what you want, but we have to at least try and make this marriage work.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “But I thought...” I sighed, my voice trailing off. “You’re being confusing again. I’m not used to playing games, Callum O’Shea, I don’t know how. I’m not experienced with games of the heart, but you distinctly said you didn’t want us to have a real marriage. Now you’re saying you want to try to make it work?”
“I was wrong to say that shit to you in the car,” he admitted. “I went into this completely unequipped.”
“At least we can agree on something,” I deadpanned.
Callum sat forward. “The fact is, you confuse me too. I’m not used to girls like you, and I get stressed that I’ll keep saying things to fuck it up even worse than I already have. I like you as a person, but I don’t really know what to do with that either. All the girls I’ve known weren’t really friend material; they certainly weren’t marriage material, so now I’m actually wifed up, it’s messing with me. I keep getting really fucking spooked that I’m caught in something so goddamned permanent, then you do something cute to make me laugh, and I can’t help thinking what a cool person you are.”
My breath caught in my lungs.
How could this be? Fours and elevens were at opposite ends of the marriage spectrum. Any attraction between us was unnatural. Plus, there were other factors to consider.
“But you were with my stepsister,” I pointed out. “That’s icky.”
“Well, she’s not actually your stepsister by blood or anything, and I wasn’t strictly ‘with’ her in that way. Knowing what I know now about Shannon Doyle, I also get the ick thing. I can’t believe I ever looked twice at her, though in my defense, I was fucking lit that night. I can’t even remember—” He scraped a frustrated hand down his face. “She’s been trying to repeat history ever since, but I’ve never gone back. It was never about her, Maeve; she means nothing to me. As much as I’m probably not doing myself any favors here, she could’ve been anyone.”
I took a sip of coffee, taking the time to contemplate his words.
The thought of them together sickened me, but he hadn’t technically done anything wrong. I hated the fact Shannon had this over me, but Callum and I weren’t a thing then. We’d hardly even spoken to each other. Strictly speaking, I had no right to be mad at him over it, either. Though I did have a right to be pissed that he kept it quiet.
“Honesty’s a big thing with me,” I told him. “All my life, I’ve been pushed to the side and purposely kept in the dark about things. To be forearmed is to be forewarned.”
“I get that,” he agreed. “It won’t happen again.”
“Is there anything else you need to tell me?” I asked. “Any more secrets? If so, do it now so we can discuss and move on.”
He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. “I’m good,” he muttered after a brief pause.
I cocked my head. “Are you sure?”
His jaw clenched. “You may come across the odd girl from the bar or town who I’ve been with in the past.”
Lifting my mug to my mouth, I took a sip, murmuring, “Of course you have,” over the rim.
He shrugged. “I never said I was a virgin when we met.”
“And what about now?” I asked. “You mentioned before that we should see other people.”
His eyes locked with mine. “Is that what you want? Carbine seemed pretty interested in you.”
“I never asked for it in the first place,” I reminded him. “But we’re not exactly compatible.”
“How do you know?” he asked. “We need to get familiar with each other before we can decide how compatible we are. We’re strangers in lots of ways, Mae, and maybe we’ve been na?ve going onto this as fast as we have, but we can’t make that call yet. I propose we start as friends and see what happens.”
Truth be told, I didn’t know what I wanted.
The only thing I was sure of was that I needed to tread very carefully. Callum and I would inevitably break up. My husband may have had some crazy idea that he’d give me the same attention he’d give a nine out of ten, but he wouldn’t.
I was a novelty, one that wouldn’t last. While Callum O’Shea was experimenting with the idea of building a life with a four, I’d be in danger of losing my heart.
“Where I come from, your family is notorious,” I declared.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin, swallowing his lemon bar. “Huh?”
“The O’Sheas are the ones everybody loves and respects but who remain elusive. Your da wanted nothing to do with the organization or the power it could bring, preferring to go it alone. I overheard Patrick saying once how the O’Sheas are the most frustrating men he’s ever known, but he has mad respect for you. Word gets around, and others take notice. You boys turned up at Paddy’s house for the summers, looking the way you looked with your muscles and prowess and easy grins, and all the girls suddenly started thinking about how life could be simpler in Wyoming instead of shopping in Nordstrom every day with their husband’s ill-gotten gains. You and your brothers, at some point, have had recruitment offers, good ones, ones that weaker men would kill each other for, and you’ve always turned your back on them. That in itself is a feat, considering Patrick always gets his own way. You’ve never been known as Callum to me; you’ve always been Callum O’Shea because that’s what gets whispered when you’re spoken about. A part of me is very proud to wear your ring, Callum O’Shea, but another part of me is terrified because it was never meant for a girl like me. That’s what I struggle with.”
The tip of his fingers touched mine. “I don’t like it when you talk about yourself like that.”
My forehead pulled together. “I know I’m a great person. This isn’t about me putting myself down, but I don’t know if I’m right for you.”
“Because all I care about is looks,” he challenged. “And girls like Shannon Doyle.”
I nodded. “One day, I worry you’ll resent everything I’m not instead of appreciating everything I am.”
He leaned forward. “I already appreciate a lot about you. Can’t say I know you well enough to understand what that means yet, but I’m looking forward to finding out. I just need to know if that’s something you want, Mae. If you don’t think I’m worth your time, tell me now, and we’ll start working out how we extricate ourselves. Then, after we’ve given it an appropriate amount of time, we split and go back to our lives as they were. Personally, I’d rather we didn’t make any big decisions yet. I think we need time to settle into things. The bar’s gonna take a lotta my energy up, and honestly, I need your help. You proved yourself invaluable with Carbine and getting his band to play. Can’t help thinking you’ll be an asset in helping me pay off Da’s debt.”
I’d heard talk that Lorcan had left Callum and the bar in a bad spot. I didn’t know the details, but Donovan admitted during our phone call the night before that Callum had one year to raise a lot of cash.
Maybe Callum was right; perhaps it was the challenge I needed, something to get my teeth into. If I’d been put on this earth for one thing, it was for research and problem-solving. Helping get the business back into the black would give me a newfound sense of purpose. I already loved Hambleton and liked the people I’d met. It was already more of a home to me than NYC ever was. It wouldn’t be a hardship.
“I’ll stay,” I agreed. “We’ll get the business running like a well-oiled machine.”
“It won’t be easy.” Callum took my hand and splayed our fingers together, his dark blue eyes locking with mine. “It’s gonna take hard work and commitment on both our parts.”
Somehow, I knew he wasn’t talking about the bar. “I’m up for it.”
His usually downturned, sexy mouth quirked. “Me too.” He gave my fingers a squeeze and nodded down at my lemon heaven bar. “If you don’t eat that, I will. Wasting that shit is sacrilege.”
I tore off a piece of the soft sponge and popped it between my lips. Its sweet tartness hit my tastebuds, and I groaned out loud. “Sweet baby Jesus. What is this voodoo magic?”
Callum grinned and drained his coffee. “Told ya so.”
“It’s amazing .” My eyes lifted to catch Callum studying me intently.
Our gazes locked, and something passed between us that made my belly warm from the inside. I felt an old, illusive emotion that until then had been lost to me, and I knew I’d done the right thing by coming here.
Maybe things would work out, or probably they wouldn’t, but at least we could say we did things our way.