4. Griffin
Chapter 4
Griffin
Fine
T hat probably wasn’t the best way to do my reveal, but after my conversation with Lennon, it seemed stupid to keep up the subterfuge. My brother was a billionaire, for fuck’s sake. He wouldn’t give a crap.
“I knew I should have done a background check on you,” Kain said, stalking away from me and down the stairs to the patio.
I sighed and jogged after him. “Will you just wait a damn minute?”
He was like a raging bull, and I’d prefer he not take a swipe at me. I was a little rusty with my hand-to-hand combat. Not to mention, my brother had at least fifty pounds of muscle on me.
“Well, out with it.” Kain was faced away from me staring out on the valley, his body language radiating flight. When I’d gotten to the orchard, he’d walked away from me nearly every time we’d had an interaction.
“Out with what?”
“Give it all to me.”
“I’m not sure what life you think I’ve led.”
“You come here acting like the affable long-lost brother and chummy with everyone and not one person knew—” He cut off and shot a snarling look over his shoulder. “Or am I the last to know?”
I shoved my fingers through my hair, pushing my hat off to dig my fingertips into my scalp. My hair hadn’t been this long since my early days in the band. I let the hat fall to the patio. “You’re not the last to know.”
“But not the first.” He went back to staring at the orchard view.
I climbed the hill to stand beside him, then I shoved my hands into my pockets. “Justin figured it out. Took him a few weeks, but he was drinking a beer at the Lodge and just pointed at me like a lunatic. You know, like that Leo DiCaprio meme?”
I saw Kain’s lips twitch.
“C’mon, that was a little funny.”
“What the hell do you want from me, St. James? Why are you still here?”
Not even my name. Definitely not a nickname for me. But it was the first time he really used any name for me other than asshole . I supposed that meant I was making a little progress.
Very little.
“I like it here, and I want to get to know you.”
“You don’t have people?”
Look at that, the punch was direct and without a fist. “Not anymore.”
Kain sighed. “Hell.”
“I don’t want your pity, Kain.”
“Who says I’m giving it?”
I tipped back my head and laughed. “Can’t give me an inch.”
“So, what is it, you want my pity or not?”
“I want to get to know you. I shouldn’t be surprised you’re like a damn fortress. Lei was the same for a long time.”
“Then why aren’t you in Hawaii with her? Why the fuck are you beating your head here? I have plenty of people. I don’t need more.”
I fisted my hands in my pockets. Jacky N’ai did a number on both of us. Me, with absolute disdain, and Kain with the weight of his legacy—but on Jack’s terms.
“I’m aware.”
“Fuck,” Kain muttered as he bowed his head.
I knew Kain was warm and welcoming to his small circle. I hoped maybe I’d make it to the outer ring, but I was beginning to wonder. “Ever think maybe it’s not just about you? Maybe walking on this land felt more like home than anywhere I’ve been. And let me tell you, I’ve been every-fucking-where.”
“Hawaii doesn’t?”
“I couldn’t get gone fast enough.”
“And your mother?”
“Not very motherly.” She’d come from nothing and thought Jack N’ai had been her way out of the grind. Being white in Hawaii wasn’t always welcoming. Add in the struggle of always being short on money, no matter how many hours she worked, had created a desperation to dig her way out.
Having Jack’s kid didn’t turn out to be the golden ticket she’d hoped for.
Kain grunted. “At least she stuck around.”
“Ever live in a hotel?”
He frowned. “Can’t say I have.”
“I did. The stench of bleach and sickeningly sweet air freshener sticks in your nostrils. Even in the high-end hotels, it never quite seems different. Your father gave her a better job in one of the N’ai hotels on Honolulu. Still smelled the damn same, just a different fake floral scent.”
And with the upgrade in position, he got a free pass to come to our rooms whenever he had an itch.
I gritted my teeth at the memory. I hadn’t gone down that road in a damn long time.
“And what were the strings?” Kain rocked back on his heels. “There’s always a quid pro quo when it came to Jacky.”
“Hope. Every time he came by, she lost more of it. By the time I was ten, it was gone and he’d moved on to another woman who worked at the hotel. Making sure she knew it.”
His jaw worked, but he didn’t say anything.
For not wanting his pity, my story seemed to be begging for it. It was just the facts, but damn, if it wasn’t bleak. As Jack’s attention waned toward her, I got the same in return.
At the time, I didn’t understand what was going on. Or why she’d gone from disinterested to mean. When I was older, I figured out that having to see her replacement daily had been a crap mix of fear and jealousy.
Fear that her job could disappear, and jealousy that she could be replaced with a younger model.
And that fear had turned her bitter against me.
So, yeah, the Navy had looked damn fine. And she’d been more than willing to sign the paperwork for me to enlist early.
The only thing she’d cared about was me sending money to her.
Showed me exactly how important I was to her.
Her disinterest was so complete that she hadn’t noticed I had definitely climbed a few rungs in tax brackets.
Both of us must have been in our heads because we both stood in silence for a damn long time.
“I play guitar.” Kain finally spoke.
“Is that right?” I glanced at him. “Me too.”
“What’s the band?”
I sighed. “Reversal of Fortune.”
“Jesus.” Kain tipped back his head.
“Is that a good Jesus, or…”
“Fishing for compliments?”
I shrugged. “I’m a damn good guitar player.”
“And yet, you’re here instead of playing on a stage somewhere.”
“Didn’t say I could sing.”
Kain barked out a laugh. “I’ve seen you guys play. A number of times. And you’re right, you’re a damn good musician.”
My chest warmed. It shouldn’t matter, but it did. Knowing he listened to my work before he knew me meant more than if he went to dig out one of my albums.
“And we imploded. Too much talent, too many vices, too much passion—all of it torpedoed us.”
“Not what I heard.”
“You probably heard the standard line from Trident. Hiatus. Like we’re that boy band from England. Never say that it’s forever. Always leave a door open.”
“Are you talking about One Direction?”
I grinned. “Good songs.”
“Fuck, yeah, they do have some great ones.”
We both laughed and the air seemed a bit lighter.
“So, that’s why you and Justin have been giggling like teenagers?”
“We have not.” Offended, I turned to him.
“You have.”
“Just because we like music? You like it just as much. Hell, you keep stealing my records. Don’t think I notice?”
He shrugged. “You got some old shit. I don’t know where you found that Otis Redding album.”
“And I better get it back.”
“Maybe.”
“Kain? Where the hell is your phone?” A shout came from the taproom.
We both turned with a smile.
“Heya, Red,” I called out.
Kain jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow enough to shove me a foot over. “Don’t call my fiancée Red.”
I rubbed at the pain, but I couldn’t stop the grin.
“Sorry, kaimoni . I left it in the truck.” He skidded down the hill to the patio and back up the stairs to the taproom. He stopped a few stairs down from her and hauled her in for a kiss that no one should be watching.
I followed a little more slowly. Ronan and Kira had returned from their family nap in the office. Kain had finally stopped making out with his woman, to all our endless relief.
Then he lifted her up against him and walked through the taproom to the kitchen.
Bells wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “Hey, we need to meet with Malina on a conference call in twenty minutes.”
“I only need five,” he said, against her neck.
I caught Lennon rolling her eyes as Bells laughed and said something indecipherable before they disappeared through the swinging door.
“You’d think they’d cool it,” Lennon said, with a shake of her head. “Doesn’t the honeymoon phase end after a few months?”
I leaned on the bar before I dropped onto a stool. “Not if you do it right.”
“Isn’t it exhausting to be all fired up all the time?”
“Again, you haven’t been doing it right.” I glanced at her mouth before meeting her dark eyes. “When you want someone, it gets under your skin, and sometimes, the only way to calm it down is to touch.”
“Unlikely,” she muttered.
I arched my eyebrow, surprise jumpstarting my system. “You haven’t had that kind of chemistry with anyone?”
It didn’t seem likely to me. She was far too sharp-minded, not to mention, she had a knockout body that was made for long, athletic nights of sexual combat.
“It has its place.”
“Then you haven’t had chemistry. You’ve had hot sex.”
“It’s the same thing.”
I sat up. “It is not the same.” I glanced at Ronan. “Right?”
Ronan pushed away from the bar. “Nope. I’m not touching that one.”
Kira put her hands on her hips. “Oh?”
“Sunshine. We have chemistry. Perhaps to an unhealthy degree. I’d keep you naked twenty-four seven if you let me.”
“Well, that’s true.” Her cheeks flushed. “Forgiven.” Kira peered into the play area. “We should go into the workshop to check on that new batch.”
“We should.” Ronan’s eyes lit as he grabbed the baby monitor off the edge of the bar and stuffed it in his pocket.
Lennon rolled her eyes again. “It’s an epidemic around here. Is there some lust dust in the air? Or is it in the cider?”
I laced my fingers on the bar. “Might be in the orchard itself.” I glanced over my shoulder as they rushed down the stairs. “That and having twins so you have to steal a moment when you can.”
“I guess I get that.” She lifted another glass from the line of pint glasses that looked fresh from the washer.
I stood up and went around the bar. “Let me help.”
“You don’t need to.” She stiffened as I eased by her.
I wondered if it was me, or just people in general that she didn’t like to get near her. I flicked on the hot tap at the sink to wash the grit and earth off my hands. I’d had my hands so deeply into the earth lately, I almost forgot what it felt like to be clean at the orchard.
She moved down a little and continued to polish the glasses until they were gleaming.
I picked up a microfiber towel and mirrored her actions and laughed when she checked my work. When she gave me a satisfied sniff, I fell into an easy rhythm with her.
“How’d it go with Kain?”
“As well as expected.”
“You’re a stubborn one, I’ll give you that.”
“When it’s important.”
“Why do you care?” When I tipped my head and stared at her, she sighed. “Not in a rude way, but why now? You’ve got to be in your thirties. Why is it important now?”
“Are you calling me old too?”
She shrugged. “You’ve got some years on your face.”
“Blunt.” I shook my head, but I had to laugh. “I’m a few years younger than Kain.”
“It’s a good face.” She set a glass down. “So is Kain’s.”
“Was there a compliment in there?”
“Just a fact. How many times did you break your nose, though? Didn’t anyone teach you how to duck?”
I huffed out a breath. “I’m not sure why I like you, but I do. And I boxed in the Navy.”
She ignored half of that comment as she picked up another and began the thorough cleaning action once more. “That makes sense. Guess you weren’t good at it.”
“You’re a hard woman.”
“Am I supposed to swoon that you boxed? Just says you have an aggressive side.”
“When I was young and angry, sure.” When all I wanted to do was prove myself to anyone and everyone. It had been a long time since I cared. “Then I found the guitar. Less blood and broken bones.” I grinned at her. “More girls dig a guitar.”
“Nice deflection. Probably works for you with all that charm that drips off your tongue, but you still didn’t answer my question.”
“You think I’m charming?”
“I think you think you’re charming.”
“Hmm. That’s not what I heard.” My gaze dropped to her mouth again. The deep red lips that were too damn appealing. Would that lip paint smudge or stick?
She licked her lips, and my chest tightened. Maybe she wasn’t as immune as she pretended to be. I lifted my focus to her depthless dark eyes. The brown of her irises and pupils were barely discernible in the shadowed corner of the bar.
“You heard wrong.”
“Noted.” I set down a glass and started on another.
“So, you’re not going to answer, then?”
And it was far too close to Kain’s question. Yes, I felt like I was beating my head against the wall with him some days, but at least I fucking felt something.
I’d fed on the adrenaline of being an AIRRs in the Navy until I’d lost one too many souls to the unforgiving ocean.
I’d gotten out before signing on for another four-year stint. Then I met Marc.
The lure of the stage had replaced the adrenaline of the Navy.
I flexed my left hand that had been more at home with a fret board than any boxing glove or belay line as I jumped out of a chopper.
And then that had been snatched away too.
I gave her my most winning smile, hoping to put that crap back in its box. “Guess it was just time.”
She gathered up four glasses and put them in the underside rack that made them easily accessible for busy nights. The next batch of glasses were tall and slim for the various creations she came up with on any given night.
These had a frosted detail that reminded me of a vintage bar Baron, the bassist in my band, had lovingly restored during one of our off months. None of us had been good with down time—too much time to get into trouble.
Which was why we’d been on tour more than we weren’t.
I shook off the memory.
And the always smiling Baron who’d been shattered by Irene’s cruelty.
“If you squeeze that glass any harder, it’s going to break.”
I set it down, dragged back into the now by Lennon’s voice. Where I belonged. “Right. Sorry.” I cleared my throat. “Do you need anything else from the storage room?”
“No. I think I have enough to work on today.”
“Okay.” I gave her a tight smile. “I think I’m going to get out of here if you don’t need me.”
“I’m fine.”
I nodded. “Of course.” I pulled my toothpick from behind my ear and tucked it in the corner of my mouth.
Everyone was just fine without me around.