16. Griffin
Chapter 16
Griffin
Eat Your Shepherd’s Pie
“ C an you take her home? I’m gonna sneak out before Kira or Len finds something for me to do.”
I flipped over the last chair onto the high-top tables along the back doors so Dean could finish mopping. “Sure.” I narrowed my eyes at Annette. “Does she know?”
“I’m sure she won’t care.” But she wouldn’t look me in the eye.
So, I was going to end up with a spitting kitten to end the night. Sounded like fun. That was my favorite Lennon. “Go on, get out of here.”
She touched my arm. “You guys are good together.”
“Don’t say it too loud,” I whispered.
She laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here. Justin and some of the guys will be here too.”
She crossed her arms. “So, I get to babysit the idiots.”
“It’s your specialty.”
Annette rolled her eyes. “Ain’t that the truth. Thanks, Griffin.” She glanced to her left and I followed her gaze to find Lennon hauling one of the bins they used to bus tables to the kitchen.
“Get out while you can.”
She looped her book bag over her shoulder and zipped past the bar and out the front door.
I resumed flipping chairs over and left Dean to finish the mopping. I headed to the kitchen after Lennon and found her sitting at the big stainless steel prep table that dominated the kitchen.
Dawn was shoving a bowl of something with mashed potatoes her way along with a hunk of hearty brown bread.
“Got one of those for me?”
“Anything for you, handsome.” Dawn scooped a healthy portion into a bowl and added bread for me, as well, and slid the bowl over to me.
Lennon stabbed at her bowl with spoon. “What are you still doing here?”
“Evidently, I’m your ride.”
She sat up and her dark eyes flashed. “Dammit, Annette.”
I laughed and hauled over a stool for her. “Sit and eat. We have plenty of time and I haven’t seen you sit down all night.”
“I’m fine.”
“Sit.”
She gritted her teeth, but she sat and went back to making her shepherd’s pie into mush.
Dawn glanced at her then to me and her smile widened. “You two a thing?”
“No.”
“Yes,” I answered.
She shot me a hot look. “Don’t speak for me, ace.”
“She likes me, but she just doesn’t like to tell people.” I leaned over the table and bumped her arm and dug into my bowl, giving the second-in-command of the kitchen a genial smile. “You guys killed it today, Dawn.”
“Thanks. Kain escaped with Bells and left us with the mess. At least I should get the kudos.”
“Doesn’t he always?” She shoved me back a few inches.
I wasn’t sure why her persnickety self made me want to get her more pissed off. Probably something wrong with me mentally. I just slid back next to her and pressed against her arm.
She gritted her jaw, but she didn’t try to move away. We ate in companionable silence as the kitchen staff cleaned up. When her spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl, she slipped away to add her bowl to the dishwasher and headed back out into the main dining room without a word.
Dawn sharpened her knives methodically against a slate blue stone. “You’ve got your work cut out for you, Griffin.”
“I know.” I followed suit with my own bowl and pressed a kiss to her cheek before leaving. “Thanks for the extra helping.”
“Anytime.”
I went back into the taproom and looked around for Lennon. She was behind the bar in meticulous mode with her closing routine. I didn’t try to get in her space again. I wasn’t entirely sure I wouldn’t end up with one of her stirrers stabbed into my delicate parts.
I stopped at the bar, plucked a mini sword out of her canister, tucked it in my cheek, then held up my hands before turning back to help Dean and Kevon with the heavy lifting. They needed to get the empty kegs into the back for refills from the bottling room in the main orchard.
This was the family friendly night. I could only imagine how crazy the next night would be.
Dean was pushing the big duster broom across the mats in the front, and I helped him out with the front porch. The music piped through the speakers also included outdoors. The rain had dispersed, leaving the air cool and clean.
Dean was singing along to an older Mumford & Sons song. He had a decent tenor and suited the alt rock band. I’d never been the singer for my band in any way, but I could hold my own on harmonies.
Dean’s eyebrows shot up and we sang along together to the driving beat of “The Wolf” then into a well-known Chris Stapleton song. When we finished, we heard clapping behind us.
Dawn, Lennon, CJ, and Brandi were standing in the doorway.
“We heard you from inside.” Dawn made a hot stuff gesture.
Dean leaned on his broom with a grin. “I accept any and all tips.”
They all laughed.
“We’re ready to lock up.” Lennon disappeared back through the door.
“I didn’t know you could sing.” Dean took the other broom from me as we walked up the ramp to the taproom.
Unsure if I should cop to being a musician, I just shrugged. “I’m actually better at guitar.”
“No shit.” He slipped through the big double doors. “I play a bit of acoustic but just fooling around, mostly.”
“I’m game for playing one night, if you’re up for it.”
“Really?”
I was shocked that I didn’t need to lie. “Yeah. I miss playing.”
“Man, that would be cool. None of my friends are into music, unless it’s the juke at Lucky’s.”
I laughed. “Same.” That wasn’t a lie, either. My friends definitely weren’t into music much these days. Marcus had disappeared on his motorcycle, after the break. He hadn’t checked in with any of us in months.
The only one I was still tight with was Baron and he was more interested in the homestead he’d bought in New Mexico. He bought horses, for God’s sake. I knew his old man used to be a rancher, but Baron had never been interested. Evidently, we were all finding new outlets, post-breakup.
Irene...
I didn’t know where the hell she was, nor did I care. She was the powder keg who was responsible for our entire implosion.
Locking up only took a few minutes, and then everyone scattered to their cars. Lennon stood on the porch, with her hands fisted in the pockets of her denim jacket.
“You gonna be mad at me for the rest of the night?” I stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at her.
“Why would you tell people we’re involved?”
“Because we are.”
“We fucked, it’s not the same.”
The punch of the word stirred me up. “Yeah, we did. And if you let me take you home to my place again, I’ll fuck that attitude out of you, if you like.”
She ran down the steps. “Excuse me.”
“You heard me. You’ve been spicy since I made you come in the storage room. Wasn’t enough, Lenny?”
“I don’t need some overbearing asshole in my life.”
“Who’s overbearing? Because I want to be with you.” I hauled her into me and the scent of cider stuck to her skin, as well as the whiskey that had probably been spilled all over her during the evening. “Because remembering your skin on mine makes me want more?”
“And that’s fine, when we’re alone.”
“Ashamed of me or would you just like to keep me in a very specific box?” I lowered my face to hers. “I won’t fit in your pretty little compartments, Lenny. Never again.”
She frowned. “I don’t want this.”
“Liar. The minute I touch you I can feel your pulse going haywire. I can see it in your eyes, in the way you immediately sway toward me. You want this as much as I do, but the difference is, I won’t lie to myself about it like you are.”
“You have nothing to lose!” Her voice broke in a mix of anger and want.
“Because I lost everything,” I said darkly. “And I still want this. I want you .” I lowered my mouth to hers, a millimeter from her lips. “I want you.” I nipped at her lower lip. “It’s an ache, Lennon. As if there had been a piece missing and I didn’t realize it.”
I’d been alone a long damn time. Even in the band, for the last few years it felt like I’d been apart from them and their twisted games against one another.
Until the games targeted me and everything fell apart.
I cupped her elbows and lifted her off her feet. “But if you want to lie to my face, go ahead. If you want this to be just fucking, I’ll take that for now.” I crushed my mouth to hers.
She moaned and it hummed through me like a melody. Her specific notes, and the siren song that I nearly wished I never learned. Because now it was part of me, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to let it go.
She gripped my shirt, her little devil nails digging into my skin. I set her down and ripped my mouth from hers. “What’ll it be? If you want to go home, I can do that.” I’d lived a lie for a damn long time, and I wasn’t willing to do that again. “I’ll hate it, but I won’t beg.” The last words were little more than a growl.
“Why can’t you just let this be what it is?”
I stepped away from her. “Lies it is.”
“It’s not a lie. It is what it is. We have great chemistry. You make me feel good, and I make you feel good.”
I shoved my hands into my leather jacket pockets so I didn’t reach for her again.
She stepped closer to me, and I stepped back, my boot hitting gravel. “Why does it have to be all or nothing?”
“I’m not looking for undying love. I just can’t live my life with any more lies.” My heart throbbed in my head and my chest, and because it was her—my dick was also part of the equation.
“So, you’re dumping your baggage on me?”
“I guess maybe I am.” I lifted my chin. “If being honest is baggage, then we’re done here. I’ll get you home.”
“That’s not what I said, and you know it. I just won’t fit in your fucked up parameters.” Her eyes glittered. “Whatever woman fucked you up must have been a real piece of work.”
“It wasn’t a woman.” I blew out a breath. “Not a woman I was in love with. But if you want to have that discussion, we aren’t doing it here in the dark.”
“Fine.”
“Good.”
She stalked off down the walkway to my truck and I followed, my neck tight with tension. Fucking hell.
I couldn’t keep my goddamn mouth shut. I knew she was prickly as a damn cactus, and still, I pushed. Because I didn’t know what the hell I wanted.
Nope. That was a lie.
I knew what I wanted.
It was her.
And that meant taking it easy on the pressure.
“Wait up, Lennon.”
She swung around, her fists tight at her sides. “What do you want from me, man?”
I crowded into her and cupped her face. “Too much and that’s on me. I’m sorry.” I pressed my forehead to hers. “I’m out of my element here. I’m not used to wanting more. I’m used to walking away after a good time.”
“Then why the hell am I special?”
“Because you’re a woman worth sticking for.”
“You don’t even know me.”
“Because you don’t want to let people know you.”
“I made friends.” She pushed away from me. “I have plenty of friendships at the orchard. Again, don’t put your crap on me.”
“You did and do. But you won’t let anyone in beyond the surface. Even Annette, who is probably the closest to you, is still on the outside.”
She stalked away from me, then back, energy bouncing off her. “It’s just the way I am.”
“Why?”
“Because.” She crowded into me this time. “Because I move around a lot. Why let people get attached when I’m going to go?”
“You’re here now. And you come back every year because you want that connection, baby. You’re dying for it. The same as me.” I cupped her shoulders, then slid up to cup her face. “Because we fit, this place fits.” I lowered my mouth to hers. “We don’t have to be alone anymore.”Her lips trembled. “Just take a chance,” I whispered.
“What if I’m gone by fall? Maybe even this summer?” Her eyes glittered under the parking lot lights.
What if she was? What if something pulled her away from the orchard? The goals she had for herself may not be voiced, but I knew there were some under the surface.
“Then try something new. Try me on for the season.”
Her fingers gripped the leather of my sleeve. I could see the fear under the anger. I recognized it because it lived in me. It was easier to leave things surface. Easier to walk away before people walked away from me.
The urge to let go of what I really needed and allow her the day by day she wanted so badly was burning my tongue.
Take what you can get, son.
But I didn’t just want one more night, dammit. I wanted to see if we could find something real between us.
“Don’t make me regret it.” Then she lifted on her toes and met my mouth.
Just like that first day.
I’d given her space, and now I was rewriting the rules.
I only hoped I wouldn’t get burned.