25. Cora
25
CORA
“ H ow else can I show you I love you? Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it, Cora. I swear I will.”
“Levi,” I said, fighting to keep my voice even. I was still shaken by Aiden’s confrontation with Levi, not to mention the fact Levi had shown up here in the first place. It was all too much—the look of rage on Aiden’s face, the way he’d grabbed Levi, Levi’s ceaseless pleas. “I need you to understand what I’m saying to you.”
Levi grasped my hands, his thumbs running over my knuckles. “I still love you, Cora. I need you to understand that.”
I shook my head, no more convinced by his words now than I had been at the reunion. I didn’t know what was going on with me and Aiden, but I knew right down to my bones that I was never getting back together with Levi. Our time had come and gone.
He just needed to get that through his head.
“I was a fool?—”
“—to let me go.” I sighed. “Yes, I know. I get that, Levi. And, sure, it’s nice to hear in a way.” He squeezed my hands. “Even after all this time, I’m glad that you finally realize you should have handled things better. But as much as it hurt me when you left, I’ve had enough time to realize you did us both a favor.”
“Don’t say that.” His eyebrows drew together, his face pinched tight. “We can still fix this and be together the way we’re supposed to be.”
What I would have given to hear him say that a year ago. Now I didn’t feel anything. Not regret, not sadness, not disgust. Just nothing. Because I’d cared for him at one point, but I’d never been in love with him. And when he’d thrown away fifteen years of us, when he’d thrown me away so abruptly, so callously, I’d finally learned to shed that version of myself who believed I needed him.
I’d let the thought of us go, and now I was free.
“There is no universe where this,” I gestured between us, “happens again.” Despite the way my insides twisted, I managed to keep my voice calm, controlled. Shouting at him wouldn’t get me anywhere. It just made Levi double down. “I’m done with us. With you.”
“Is this because of Aiden?” he asked.
“No,” I said pointedly, really trying to get him to listen to my words. “This has nothing to do with him.”
“Cora—”
“It doesn’t matter what you say. It doesn’t matter that you moved back to New York. I’m not getting back together with you. Ever.”
Levi shook his head, jaw clenched, staring off down the hall. “You’re making a mistake choosing Aiden over me.”
“That’s not what this is,” I insisted, shutting that down. Again .
“He’s not right for you. He’s not good for you.”
And you are? I wanted to laugh. The fact that he thought he knew better than I did about what was good for me should have been a waving red flag all these years.
“Just so we’re clear, I’m not choosing Aiden over you. I’m choosing myself. I don’t want to be with you simply because I don’t want to be with you . I’m happier without you, surrounded by people who make me feel appreciated and validated.” Unlike Levi, who had always taken me for granted.
And yeah, sure, Aiden might have been one of the people who’d been making me happy lately, who’d made me feel appreciated, but even if he wasn’t around, even if things didn’t work out between us, I still didn’t want to get back with Levi.
“You’re making a mistake,” he said again.
“Mistake or not, it’s my choice to make. And anyway, I don’t think it is a mistake. We aren’t a good couple,” I told him. “If we were, you wouldn’t have been tempted by a life with Sally.”
The muscle in his cheek twitched. Perhaps I’d hit a nerve. Perhaps he knew I was right.
“We stayed together for so long because it felt familiar and safe, but that’s not reason enough to be together. I’m not going back to a relationship that doesn’t truly bring me joy.” That took the wind out of his sails.
“We could find joy again.”
“We can’t. We’ve gone our separate ways, Levi. You need to be okay with that.” He swallowed hard. I could see his throat work, scrambling for some last-ditch excuse or argument to sway me. I patted his hand. “And you need to hear me now when I say that you need to stop with…all of this. No more flowers. No more surprise visits. No more attempts to win me back.”
“But—”
“I mean it. If you try again, I’m going to call your grandmother.” He was an only child, and his mom spoiled him rotten, taking Levi’s side in everything, but his grandmother, Charlotte, was a force to be reckoned with. She’d always loved me, and one call from her would have Levi trembling in his boots. “You got off easy with her when we broke up. Don’t make me drag her into this now.”
Levi nodded once. We both knew he was terrified of her. This was as serious as I could possibly be with him.
“Goodbye, Levi. I think it’s time you leave now.”
He looked at me for a beat, then turned, sulking off down the hall, shoulders slumped. I didn’t feel bad for the guy—I was simply relieved it was finally over and I could close the book on him once and for all. Our relationship was truly in the past, leaving me free to move on to better things. A life with Aiden? A long-term career with Elixir? These all felt like possibilities, if Aiden wanted them too. Maybe knowing Levi was finally out of the picture would reassure him and prove how serious I was about making this work.
I returned to Aiden’s side. He’d sat down in a chair at the end of the hall, hunched over, elbows on his knees. I touched his shoulder. He startled, looking up at me.
He looked terrible.
Pale. Sweaty. Hair disheveled.
It looked like someone had just delivered the worst news of his life. Had something else happened? Was it Nana Dee?
I looked around for Trent or one of the other guys for answers. I knew Nana Dee had been invited tonight, but she’d had to turn down the invitation when she’d developed a bad cold. Had it turned into something more serious? The guys were nowhere to be seen.
“Aiden, what is it? Is…is everyone okay?”
Aiden’s hands shook and he clenched them into fists. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“What?” I said, shock settling over me like a cold wave, freezing me in place. I couldn’t possibly have heard him correctly.
He looked up at me, full-on, so there was no mistaking his words this time. “I said I think we should stop seeing each other.”
“Are you kidding me right now?”
“We can’t see each other,” he amended, frowning down at his clenched fists. “This…us…the relationship isn’t working.”
“Not working?” I said, incredulous. “Just like that?” Since when? Everything with Aiden had been wonderful until he’d started pulling away for whatever reason. What had happened—and why wouldn’t he talk to me about it? Why was he just giving up on us like this, out of the blue? “Would you like to tell me what exactly it is about our relationship that isn’t working for you?”
“Cora—”
“Because as far as I’m concerned, you haven’t said anything’s wrong or expressed any kind of issue with us. If there’s a problem, we can work through it, but you have to tell me what’s going on. Because right now, I have no idea where the hell this is coming from.” Just like the last time.
“It’s for the best,” Aiden said, hardly getting the words out before I snapped at him.
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. Again .” Part of me was stunned that this was happening. I felt like I was living through a Groundhog Day -type scenario. I’d told my mother this wouldn’t happen. We were both older and more mature. We’d grown up. Apparently, I’d been wrong, and Aiden hadn’t grown up at all. Not in the ways that really mattered.
Or maybe I was just the type of person people felt comfortable leaving. Maybe I was nothing but a placeholder until something better came along. Was that it? No! I wasn’t going to let him treat me like this again. I wasn’t going to let another relationship ending tear me apart, wondering why, why, why ?
“I hope you can do better than ‘it’s for the best,’” I said, the words practically spit between my teeth. Anger surged through me. “Because I want an actual explanation this time.”
He opened his mouth, closed it, and gave his head a shake like he didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s the least I deserve,” I insisted.
“Being with you,” he started, licking his lips like they’d gone dry, “it makes me behave…irrationally.”
“ I make you irrational?” My lip curled back over my teeth even as my heart thumped painfully against my ribs. What the absolute fuck? Was he talking about the way he’d treated Levi? Because, yes, I agreed that his reaction was over the top and inappropriate. But how was any of that my fault? It sounded like instead of dealing with his feelings, he was using me as a scapegoat.
“With you, I’m a version of myself I don’t want to be. I can’t let myself become that person,” he said to me. “I can’t behave the way I just did.”
I had no words. I’d just spent the last ten minutes telling Levi I was a better version of myself now, a version that knew my worth. And yet here Aiden was, telling me that for him, it was the exact opposite—that I made him into a person he didn’t like. Shock and hurt washed over me in waves. It was too all-consuming to fight against, too difficult to react to, and all I could do was gape at Aiden until he got up and walked away, leaving me standing there, alone.