CHAPTER NINE
Breck
I stand near the windows of our condo, looking out on the mountain beyond, and wonder how I got here. Yesterday was a lot, a roller coaster of emotions. I barely held it together when Wes asked me to officiate his and Joss’s wedding. It was a battle for what I felt more of: absolute joy and gratitude that my best friend has found the love of his life and wants me to partake in their union this way, or a deep-seated sense of loss over the future I can no longer see for myself.
I could see his wariness in asking me and I pray I was able to hide the loss behind the joy enough that he didn’t notice it. I would never turn him down, but alone in the darkness, I feel the ache everywhere. I’m truly excited for my friends. I miss them. I miss that part of my home, even when most everything else about that place feels wrong and broken right now.
Where being here feels… right. The sun crests the mountains, a new day dawning. I may no longer be a successful business owner, or a partner to Talia, or see the future in the same way, but I do have Willow. I have friends who love and care for me. The freedom to invest in something new. I can find a new path forward for us, can’t I? I can find our way, mine and Willow’s, and I can do it on my own.
A vision of Willow and Rory high-fiving at the bottom of the slope yesterday pops into my head and I chew my lip. It was incredible and heartbreaking all at once. Why was it so much easier for Rory to get through to her? This is our time to bond and forge a new path, and I can’t let myself use Rory or anyone else as a crutch. I need to look toward what will work for Willow and me as a team of two. Because in the end, that’s what we’ll be when we go back to Australia.
I scrub my hand along the back of my neck, my sleep-mussed hair tangling between my fingers. I need to let Rory know I’ve got this. I’m sure she has better things to do than hang out with a surly mid-thirties guy and his daughter. Rory should be out having fun, not spending the evening watching Encanto and eating takeout with us—like she did last night after we got back from the slopes.
The buzz of my phone on the counter draws my attention from the view taking shape beyond the window. Needing another cup of coffee, I walk over and pick it up with a sigh.
“Speak of the devil,” I murmur.
Rory
Morning! I’m heading up the mountain in a bit for work, but I could drop by with the info Jamie sent me about getting your officiant’s license before I go.
I don’t want to interrupt your morning with Willow though. I could bring it later. Whatever works best for you.
The texts sit unanswered while I refill my cup and think about how I want to proceed where Rory’s concerned. I enjoy her company, obviously, but I’m not sure it’ll help anything in the long run.
I do need that information though, and I should probably talk to Jamie at some point. I could use some pointers.
After a swig of coffee, I text her back.
Me
Sure. I’m up and Willow is having a bit of a lie-in, so you aren’t interrupting anything.
Rory
Okay, see you in a few.
I jog upstairs to pull on a T-shirt. Rocking black joggers without a shirt doesn’t feel appropriate around my best friend’s little sister.
I keep calling her that in my head, as if it will somehow keep me from recognizing just how beautiful she is. The eight years between us feels like nothing when we’re together. She’s mature and put together in a way I’d expect of someone older, but that still doesn’t change anything.
I take a second to brush my teeth, wishing I had time for a quick shower. My dirty-blond hair stands up like I stuck my finger in a socket. I run my hands under the water and try to calm the worst of the bedhead, then press at the dark circles under my eyes. Despite being used to the time change, I’m still not sleeping well. Too much on my mind. Too much to feel when I’m finally alone in bed and can allow myself to.
The five-o’clock shadow from yesterday has turned into a full-on six a.m. scruff. I’ll need to do something about that after Rory leaves. The soft knock from downstairs tells me she’s here and it’s time to accept that this is as good as it’s going to get. Not that I’m trying to impress her, I just don’t want to look like a complete vagabond either.
The plush carpet compresses under my bare feet on each stair before I reach the door. Pulling it open, I’m met with a bright smile and rosy cheeks. Rory has a mint green beanie pulled low over her ears, but her braid of rose-gold hair peeks out over one shoulder. My mouth goes dry and I have to clear my throat to speak.
“Hey. Come on in,” I say, stepping aside to make space for her. She knocks her boots together, snow falling off in clumps on the mat before she steps inside. She slides off her jacket, revealing a form-fitting thermal top over leggings. Bloody hell. I rake my gaze up her body, meeting her questioning eyes, and quickly look away. She definitely saw me check her out.
“Coffee?” I ask, leading the way into the kitchen before I embarrass myself further.
“Oh, uh, yeah. Yes, please.” She stumbles over the words, and I want to kick myself for making her uncomfortable.
She sits up at the counter and I focus my wayward brain on fixing her a cup.
“Thanks,” she says when I slide it across the counter, her voice clear and bright once again. “Here’s everything Jamie had about getting your license. He said it’s pretty easy, but he’s happy to walk you through it. I put his number on the front for you.” She slides me a stack of paper, then lifts the cup to her lips. A soft sigh of enjoyment leaves her as her eyes close, a look of contentment on her face, like that one sip of coffee made her whole day.
I scratch the back of my neck. “Perfect, I’ll get the ball rolling today so, assuming Joss says yes, we’ll be set.”
“Oh, she’ll say yes.” Her smile is soft, full of love for her brother.
“I know she will. You’re going to love her. She’s perfect for him, showed up at the exact right time.” My own smile lifts my cheeks.
“I’ve got a lot of work stuff going on today,” Rory says, “but if you guys need anything, just shoot me a text. Or if you’re up on the mountain, let me know and I can try to meet up with you or something. I’m happy to work with Willow some more too if she—”
“Rory,” I cut her off, and she looks at me expectantly. “Thank you for all your help getting us settled. Really, I appreciate it so much. But I’ve got this. You’ve got work and a life. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness. I know you’re doing this because Wes asked you to, but we’re all set now.”
I don’t look at her, not directly. As much as I’m doing this for her, I still feel like an ass, and I’m scared to see the expression on her face. Even more so when she replies.
“Oh. Yeah, okay. Sure.” Her voice is too quiet, almost restrained. “I really should get to work. Have a good day, Breck.”
I look up from where I’m scrubbing a towel over the clean surface of the counter and catch the briefest look of hurt across her features. Then she turns and heads for the door. I want to follow her, apologize, but I hold my ground. This will be better, easier.
“You too,” I say but the door closing behind her drowns it out. My eyes fall on her full cup of coffee and my shoulders sag.
Fuck, what did I just do?