Chapter 15
lukas
I didn’t see Aimee for three days.
Three incredibly long days.
Orion must’ve filled everyone in on what happened, because the next time I saw Eloise, she’d apologized.
I’d waved her off, but she’d further confided in me how bad it was early on, and that Aimee just wanted to be alone.
Her secluding herself bothered me—formed this ache of anxious worry throughout my chest. I hated that because of what happened, she felt the need to withdraw herself… to shut herself away.
I didn’t have any right to be frustrated—I wasn’t family and I hadn’t been there, but it irked me that those closest to her just let her suffer in silence.
I let out a breath. That wasn’t a fair assessment, I knew that.
It wasn’t fair to any of her loved ones, that my own anger towards the situation blamed them.
I rubbed my chest where it ached.
The blue down jacket I’d wrapped myself in prevented me from applying the pressure I needed to help ease the ache. I wanted to do nothing more than to go up to her door and demand entrance. I wanted to pull her from her desolate isolation.
I stared down the slope before me and watched as bodies grew smaller as they moved away.
The sky was crystal blue—no cloud in sight.
It would have been the perfect day to bring Aimee up here.
The snow was bright and blinding, and everything just seemed less severe.
Peaceful. You could leave your problems at the base of the mountain and just be in the moment at the top.
I stomped my feet, my skis slipping a bit in the snow as I used my poles to keep me steady.
Moving my legs to build momentum, I started down the slope with the hopes that this run—which was particularly difficult—would take my mind off things.
My coach would be here any day, and honestly, he was going to kill me once he found out how lax I’d been with my training.
Half way down the slope, I knew I wasn’t going to be lucky.
My brain didn’t want to turn off. It had taken to replaying that confrontation—how she’d looked when I came around the corner, eyes wide in fear, apprehension, and dread.
Her body tucked in tight, tension and panic radiating off of her.
It hadn’t been a choice, at least not a truly active one.
I saw her, and then I was in front of her.
And then, I was punching the guy. I’d gone to first aid later to have them check out my hand.
It was a little bruised and still hurt a little bit, but I had no regrets.
Once my brain was done replaying the confrontation, it singularly focused on the way she’d curled into me, the heat of her body, how well she fit in my arms…how she’d tucked herself into me even once her brother showed up. All the things I wanted to feel every day with her.
I maneuvered around others on the slope who were taking the run at a slower pace.
Slalom skiing required speed, so I was zooming in between—trying to be respectful and not an asshole who thinks they own the mountain.
I could have gone over to the practice course, but I’d just wanted to ski.
So I weaved in and out, speeding down the slope, snow getting kicked up in my wake.
The cold wind chapped my lips, and had the tip of my nose stinging a bit.
I relished in the feel of it, the release it brought me.
My phone started buzzing incessantly in my pocket, so I skidded to a stop off to the side of the run.
Fuck.
I wanted to kiss Aimee Bryant so badly.
I stabbed my poles into the snow, and pulled my gloves off and shoved my goggles up my head. I squinted against the sun reflecting off the snow—the bright light was a little painful. I pulled out my phone to the group chat blowing up.
Ski Boiz
Chase named the conversation “Ski Boiz”.
Chase
Ellory stole my phone, don’t blame me.
Tyler
Are we a boy band?
I can play the guitar if we are
Callum
Are we sure ‘Ski Boiz’ didn’t exist in the 90’s?
Joshua
Def early 2000’s
Micha
Lukas gets the frosted tips if that’s our aesthetic
Lukas
Wtf, is this why ya’ll are blowing up my phone?
Chase
Blame Ell.
Lukas
[sends pic of the slopes and chairlift]
Micha
dude, wtf. Invite us next time.
Lukas
I’m training and my phone is tingling in my pocket.
Chase
Sure it’s your phone?
Ell and Rowan told me all about Aimee.
Callum
Oh, spill. I love gossip.
Lukas
No gossip. Nothing to tell.
Tyler
Does something stink?
Joshua
Yeah, Lukas’s bullshit.
Chase
[sends pic of Aimee]
Micha
WAIT
THAT’S THE GIRL
THE ONE YOU’VE BEEN PINING OVER FOR YEARS
You have all those posters
Lukas
Firstly, they’re Zara’s you fucker
Secondly, stfu
Chase
Oh snap, our boiz got it bad.
Lukas
I hate all of you so much.
Joshua
but we love you
My chest heaved in agitation as breaths sawed in and out of me. I watched as little snow balls rolled down the slope a couple feet. I just wanted…hell I didn’t know what I wanted. I ran my hand over my face.
I wanted Aimee.
I wanted to be there for her, to be a safe place for her to land.
I wanted to have that chance, to prove that I wasn’t a terrible first impression.
I’d seen what happened that day, the tragedy of it all, and the online aftermath. I’d seen more that day than probably anyone else and my desire of wanting to comfort her, didn’t fully know how to handle that fact.
I thought that maybe, progress could be made.
And then, the confrontation three days ago happened and now I wasn’t convinced.
Running into her—literally the last thing I ever expected.
Seeing her standing on that ice, the air had been knocked from my lungs.
Because yeah, I’d seen what happened that day.
I’d seen and heard her pain, I watched her struggle, and fight…
and I watched it all drain away. I watched her body go slack, and I think at that moment, I didn’t expect to see her again.
I sucked in a deep breath, trying to find my calm.
My phone was still buzzing in my hand—probably the guys just riffing, but I would respond to them later.
I wasn’t even sure if it was anger, or just all the emotions all at once.
I shook out my arms trying to release the tension that had crept into my shoulders and back.
I gripped my gloves in my hand and absentmindedly watched as people whizzed past me. Aimee didn’t need protecting—not really. She had people in her corner, standing with her.
So, did she need me?
Did she want me?
Was it stupid to hope she did?
I fought the urge to scream and let out every frustration I was currently feeling.
I let out a hard breath and started pulling my gloves back on.
I would finish this run, and then head over to the training area and get some real practice in—go until my mind shut off and I could just be empty.
Maybe pure exhaustion would quiet my mind enough to get some decent sleep tonight.
I was about to pull down my goggles when my phone vibrated again.
I nearly ignored it, but something urged me to pull a glove off and look at it.
Zara’s name lit up the screen with multiple incoming texts.
Bean
Zara
I know you’re skiing, but Aimee is looking for you.
She looks like she’s been crying.
Lukas, I stg if you did something else I’m telling Mom and Dad you’re a dick to women.
Also if you cost me an opportunity to stake for Brennan, you better start sleeping with one eye open.
My heart started beating rapidly in my chest, and I quickly typed out a message to my sister.
Lukas
Tell her that I will be there as soon as I can.
Don’t let her leave
And don’t leave her alone.
Yanking my gloves back on and pulling down my goggles, I waited for a clear moment before dipping back onto the slope to follow everyone down to the bottom.