Chapter 48
Sean
We don’t arrive at Callie’s dorm until almost 11pm, the silent walk down the hallway is making me itch with the urge to say something, but I don’t know what to say or if I should even be speaking right now. These past two days have likely been the hardest of Callie’s life and I”m not sure whether I should be keeping quiet, giving her the space to be inside her own head or trying to drag her back to earth with me by keeping her mind distracted. I take hold of her hand as she twists her key in the lock and she flashes me a quick, forced smile. As the door creaks open Molly jumps up from the sofa immediately, her eyes wide with worry for her best friend as the blankets she was wearing tumble to the ground.
Molly takes two long strides across the room to Callie. “Oh Cal,” she tips her head in sympathy and Callie blubbers, spluttering and trying to hold back the assault of more tears, but she can’t hold them in and she bursts. Molly hauls her into a hug, rubbing her back and squeezing her tight as she cries.
“I’m so sorry Cal, I”m so sorry.” She murmurs, holding my girl tightly as she fights to control her tears. I want to reach over there, take her back and be the one to hold her when she cries but I know she needs this moment with her best friend, the one who was here long before me. When they eventually pull away, Molly rubs her thumbs under Callie’s eyes, mopping up the moisture and cradling her face between her manicured hands. “I love you, anything you need you let me know ok?” Molly says softly and Callie nods in response, swiping the back of her hand across her tear streaked face.
Callie sniffs. “Thanks Mol, I love you too.” She whispers dryly, her throat tight and hoarse. “I’m going to my room.”
I nod when she twists her face to look at me, trying to force a smile of my own for her sake before she picks up her bag and trundles off down the hallway, her shoulders low.
I sink down onto a barstool and let my head fall into my hands. “Jesus Christ,” I huff, a deep sigh leaving my lips. “What a weekend this has been,”
Molly slides a cup of hot coffee across the island to me and I return her empathetic smile.
“I know this is a stupid question but,” Molly pauses, pushing her blonde waves back from her face. “How’s she been?”
“Not great, as you can imagine, but she’s tough.” I sigh, sipping at the liquid gold and revealing in the warmth trailing down my dry throat. “I can’t believe you drove four hours to be with her when she needed you,” Molly says and I look up at her again, her eyes are bright with gratitude this time. “I mean, I know you’re like boyfriend of the year or whatever but…” she glances over her shoulder, making sure Callie can’t overhear what she’s about to say. “I think even Callie was surprised you came running the second she called for you.”
I let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh. “I would have walked there if she needed me Mol,”
Molly nods, face crumpling with deepening thought as she stirs another cup of coffee that I assume is for Callie. “I’ll make your guys some food in a minute, I”m sure you’re hungry.”
“It’s ok, you don’t have to do that. We actually ate with her dad a couple of hours ago but maybe she’d like some ice cream if you have any.” Molly immediately dips down below the island so she’s out of sight, rummaging in the freezer before holding up Callie’s favourite ice cream flavour — cookie dough — with a triumphant grin. She slides it across the island too, two spoons following it’s path to me and I quickly pocket them. “You staying with her tonight?” Molly says, handing me the piping hot mug of coffee to take to my girl.
I nod. “That’s ok right?”
Molly smiles brightly at me, nodding too. “Of course it is, like I said, you’re who she needs right now.”
Fuck yes I am, I fucking love that.
When I walk into Callie’s bedroom, coffee in one hand and ice cream in the other, the spoons clattering around in my pocket, I see my baby curled up on the bed. Her hair is sprawled out over the pillow behind her, emerald irises hiding behind her closed lids as her chest rises and falls at a steady pace. It’s moments like this when I just look at her and think, how the hell did I get so lucky? From almost the first second I spotted her in that penalty box it’s like I knew something was different, it was a different kind of attraction, like a magnetic force pulling me to her. Then when she rejected me I was even more hooked on her, desperate to change my fuck boy ways and prove to her that I can be everything she needs. I just want to put her in my pocket and keep her safe, I want to do everything life has to offer with her, experience every new thing with her.
I sit down beside her, lifting her floppy arm and placing it over my middle as I shuffle my own arm under her neck and bring her closer to me. She stirs slightly, eyes fluttering open and in a groggy voice she whispers, “You have ice cream?”
I breathe a quiet laugh. “Yeah baby, I have ice cream, you want some?” “God yes,” she replies, sitting up and rubbing her tired eyes with the heels of her palms. “You got my favourite.” She smiles, her freckled cheeks drawing my attention as always, she’s so painfully beautiful. “Of course I did…” I snicker, “well, Molly actually handed it to me from the freezer but—”
“You would have chosen this flavour anyway, because you know it”s my favourite.” Callie cuts me off and digs her spoon into the tub of frosty goodness, jamming her full spoon into her mouth and cringing at the cold as it hits her tongue.
Her mouth is packed with ice cream as she murmurs, “You know me so well and I love that.”
I fucking love it too.
Before I can even blink her lips land on mine, cold and sweet from the ice cream and I suck them into my mouth, fighting my way in with my tongue and lapping up any remnants of milky sweetness that’s left. She’s hungry for me, probably hoping this will make her forget about her grief even if it’s only temporary and I”m more than happy to help her feel good, even if it’s only for tonight. Her hands are in my hair, pulling me closer, my own hands in a bruising hold on her hips as I hoist her up into my lap. I feel like I haven’t kissed her like this for years when in reality it’s only been a couple of days, but she’s like a drug to me, without her I”m shaking with addiction. The warmth of her pussy is apparent the minute she’s straddling my waist, grinding on me, desperate for any kind of friction she can get as our tongues battle for dominance. My palms slide up her waist, following the curve of her torso before stopping on either side of her face and reluctantly pulling her lips off mine.
“Baby, are you sure?” I pant, watching her eyes wash with confusion and rejection. “I’m just checking you definitely want to have sex right now, I don’t want you to regret it tomorrow.”
Callie huffs a laugh and pulls my hands from her face. “Don’t be ridiculous Sean, I’d never regret it with you, no matter what the circumstances.”
Do I say it now? I really fucking want to say it now.
“Callie, I…”
Callie’s face twists in confusion again, but this time impatience is definitely there too. “You what Sean? Come on please just say whatever you want to say so you can fuck my brains out.”
I shake my head with a laugh and the urge to say those three words disappears again, this isn’t the right time, it’s like it’s never going to be the right time with this sassy mouthed girl I chose. Instead of saying anything else I flip her over so her body is under mine, fully intending on doing exactly what she wants, fucking her brains out. She claws at my back, pulling my t-shirt over my head and launching it somewhere behind me. “I need you to make me forget,” she breathes into my mouth as I run my palm under her t-shirt and locate her hardened nipple. “Not forever, just for tonight,”
I nod, inhaling her sweet smell. “I can do that,”
I hum as her hand tracks the length of my torso, dipping inside my grey joggers and wrapping perfectly around my cock. Her palm fits over me like a glove, slipping up and down in a motion that could easily make me come all over her hand right now. But I”m desperate to be inside her like I always am, so I pull away, sitting up and undressing as she does the same. We’re like animals, ravaging each other’s bodies and taking exactly what we need from the other. No matter how many times I fuck her, kiss her, hold her, it will never be enough to satisfy me, I”ll always need more. She rakes her hands through my curls, kissing me hard as I line myself up at her soaking wet entrance, running my fingers through her moisture and watching her back lift off the bed with pleasure before I sink myself into her. She’s so hot, so wet and the sensation is almost blinding, her pussy tightens around me as I move in and out at a steady pace.
“Fuck Sean, that feels so good,” she wails and I cup my hand over her mouth, her eyes pinging up to mine.
I clamp my lips together to hold back my laugh. “Molly is next door, I don’t think she needs to hear that.”
Callie laughs too, for the first time since her life was turned upside down. “But you do…need to hear that I mean.”
Fuck yeah I do.
I smash my lips down onto her’s again, slipping my cock in and out of her faster, harder, everything she murmurs into my ear. Before I even have chance to flip her over, push into her from behind and see the break taking view that is Callie’s ass jutted up to the sky in front of me, I can feel my dick twitch inside her. She drains me totally dry, her pussy squeezing every last drop of come out of me and I collapse on top of her, taking only a moment to catch my breath before lowering myself down to her still dripping pussy. Her own wetness isn’t the only thing seeping out of her now though, so I grab a tissue and clean the mess up that I made inside of her. She tries to sit up but I push her back down, confusion washing over her beautiful, freckled face.
“You think I”m going to just please myself and forget about the fact you didn’t get to come?” I laugh, “Do you know me at all?”
“Oh,” Callie muses, lying back and burying herself deep into the mattress. “Well, in that case, go right ahead Captain.”
Jesus, I fucking love when she calls me that.
I don’t hesitate to tease her a bit, trailing my tongue around her throbbing clit but not actually touching it at all, hovering over it, but never making direct contact. After only a few seconds Callie is writhing under me and I can see the growing frustration as I watch her, I know her next move before she even makes it. She huffs and groans, reaching down to grab a fistful of my hair and stuff my face between her thighs. I stifle a laugh and get to work pleasing her, lapping my tongue up and down, sucking her pulsing clit between my lips and tasting her sweetness, revealing in the way only I can make her feel.
Her thighs wrap around my face and she groans, “Sean, I’m…I”m…” I slap my hand over her mouth again. “Come on baby, let me taste you.” That’s all I need to say for her to be coming all over my tongue as I lick her clit, soothing to burn from all the nipping and sucking that I did to send her toppling over the edge, watching the orgasm drown her. All I want to do now is wrap my body around her, nuzzle my face into her warm neck and wait for her to fall asleep buried in my chest. Callie has the exact same idea as she twists around to face me, curls tickling my stomach as she sinks her face into me, breathing softly and after only a few minutes she’s taken deep into sleep where I soon follow.
Callie
Molly has already left for practice when I wake up and make my way out into the kitchen, leaving Sean asleep in my bed. He has to leave today, I know he does and yet he hasn’t mentioned it at all. I’m dreading it, him being gone for a whole month, especially now when I need him more than I think I ever have before. But I have to be strong, keep going on my own and not let myself crumble into a million pieces on the ground when he’s not around.
I turn on the coffee machine, the familiar whirring sound blurring the thoughts spinning around in my mind, the coffee smell invading my senses and bringing a wash of peace with it for a moment. Through the noise of the machine I don’t hear the padding of Sean”s footsteps as they approach me from behind, so when his huge arms come around my waist I jump a little, before letting out a relieved breath when his usual woodsy scent cocoons me.
He plants a kiss in the crook of my neck. “Morning beautiful, how are you feeling?”
“You know what? I’m actually feeling ok,” I murmur, pouring the coffee into two mugs and watching the steam billow up towards the ceiling. Sean’s hands slip down to my hips, holding me tightly and tilting his face around to peck my lips softly before taking the coffee from my hand and sipping at it. I turn around to watch him, mesmerised as always by the way his bare torso contracts, the way his dimples deepen when he catches me looking at him and the way his v-shaped pelvis points towards my favourite part of his body that hides under his grey track pants. “What time do you have to leave?” I say, a hint of moisture pooling in my eyes at the thought of him going and not being able to see him for a month. He sips at his coffee again and watches me with an uncertain look in his eye.
“I don’t have to go,” he finally says, “I can stay here, if you need me.” His voice is so smooth, so sure of what he’s offering but he should know me better than that by now, I’d never ask him to miss his most important games of the season for me.
I shake my head immediately. “No, you’re going. So what time do you need to leave?”
He’s still watching me as he drinks, his eyes never leaving mine like he’s trying to read my mind as to whether I mean what I say. Of course I’d love him to stay here with me, he’s like my anchor, holding me down when I feel like my soul is floating away from me. But I also know how amazingly talented he is on the ice and how his team rely on him to lead them. He’s so good at what he does and I”m so fucking proud of him it hurts, so there’s no way on earth I”m going to ask him not to leave, even though my heart is screaming at him to stay.
Sean sighs and puts down his now empty mug in the sink, brushing past me and muttering, “I have to go at 8am, we have a long drive.” He leaves the kitchen without another word and a sinking feeling makes itself known in my stomach, is he mad at me? Does he want me to ask him to stay? I follow after him, pushing open the bedroom door and watching him shove last night’s t-shirt over his head.
“Are you mad at me?” I squeak and his eyes spring up to mine, eyebrows scrunched tightly in confusion.
“What? No, baby, why would I be mad at you?” He stands up and moves towards me, collecting my curls and bringing them to hang down my back. I shrug. “I don’t know, it just kind of felt like I upset you a minute ago.” “No, you didn’t upset me, I just really don’t want to leave and I was kind of hoping you’d ask me to stay so I had an excuse not to miss you like crazy for the next month.”
“I mean, of course I don’t want you to go Sean but…” I look into his caramel eyes, all of his feelings so clear as they pour out of him and I consider just screaming how much I love him right into his face. “I’ll miss you so much,” I run my thumbs along his jaw, the scratchy bed of stubble making my fingers itch. “But you have to go, your team need you and hockey is important you.”
“Not as important as you Callie,” he shakes his head, his warm palms covering mine on his cheeks. “No where fucking near as important as you.” He takes a long breath, pressing his lips to mine for a long beat and then collecting his car keys from my side table. “I better leave in a minute, I have to go home and get all my stuff together before I have to meet the team at the rink.”
Oh god, he’s leaving already.
“Ok, well call me when you get there ok?” I sigh, already fighting off the tears that I”m desperate to stop from spilling.
I know it will only make it harder on Sean if he sees me upset at him leaving, even though inside my heart is dying at the thought of not having him hold me for four long weeks.
“I will,” he brackets my jaw again, “and Callie, if you need me to come back, you call.”
I let my eyes flutter closed, mainly to stop the tears from spilling and giving away how much I fucking hate this. “I won’t ask you to come back Sean.”
“Cal,” he huffs, shaking his head with exasperation. “Just nod for yes.” He smiles and I can’t stop the airy laugh that leaves my lips as I nod, doing as I”m told for once.
Sean’s dimples deepen and I want to run my fingers over them, but I”m only making this harder for both of us, so instead I let him lead me by the hand towards the front door, where he shoves his feet into his shoes and steps out into the silent hallway.
He turns back to face me, his own expression sullen. “Ok, well, I guess I’ll see you in a month then.”
He leans his face down to mine, ghosting over my lips for a moment before they crash down onto me. The kiss is intense to say the least but not in a sexual way, it’s like everything we both want to say but are too scared or stubborn to, is poured into this kiss. His strong hands are around my waist, holding my body to his like a puzzle piece, lifting my feet slightly off the floor so we”re on an equal level. His lips are so soft, so comforting as they move methodically against mine and I never want to stop…but I know we have to, so I reluctantly pull away after a long moment. “I’ll call you tonight,” I say, swallowing the words I”m so desperate to launch at him.
Sean nods and turns to leave, planting one last fleeting kiss against my lips.
As I watch him get closer to the stairs I feel a heavy weight settle in my chest, like my heart is saying, “What the fuck are you doing?” Sean has been my absolute rock this weekend, he’s done anything and everything he ever could to make me happy, to support me through thick and thin and I can’t even be honest about how I feel towards him. I’ve never loved him more than in this moment and that’s why my heart takes over before my head can catch up.
“Sean!” I yell after him, even though he’s no more than 10 metres away from me.
He spins around, his eyes sad, his face drooping with the longing to stay. This is it, I have to say it now, I have to tell him.
I take a jagged inhale. “I love you.”
Sean’s expression immediately transforms to one of surprise, but his eyes soften and for a moment I think he’s going to cry, meanwhile I”m holding my breath for him to say something. This will be the moment when I know for sure, he’ll either reject me and everything I’ve been scared of happening since I met him will come crashing down on me. Or he”ll tell me that he loves me too, I don’t know what I’ll do if he just walks away. “I love you Cal,” he says, his expression pained as he marches back to me, hauling me up into his arms and hugging me so tightly I can barely breathe.
But you know what, I don’t fucking care, all I wanted was for this man to love me as much as I love him and now I’ve heard the words leave his lips I feel like my knees might buckle from the relief. He didn’t reject me, he loves me too. My head and chest feel so light as he holds me there, his face in my neck, his arms around my middle as I wrap my legs around his waist like a vice, never wanting to separate myself from him.
Sean lifts his face from my neck, his features still warm and soft. “One kiss Callie, that’s all it took.” His face crinkles into a smile. “One kiss and I was done, I was yours forever.”
My heart feels like it might burst out of my chest right now.
“Forever…” I muse, pursing my lips to hide my growing smile. “That sounds nice.”
Sean”s face cracks in two, the full force of his dimpled grin hitting me right in the chest. “Hell yeah it does.” He presses a tight kiss to my lips and then smacks another to my cheek before grinning at me again. “I can’t believe you love me,”
I roll my eyes and wriggle down from his body like a tree. “Yeah, well, don’t keep going on about it or I’ll take it back.” I fucking love teasing him.
“Nu-uh,” he wags a playful finger at me, “no take backs.” He strokes my cheeks with his rough hands and plants one more lingering kiss to my lips. “Ok, I really have to go now before Coach screams at me for being late.” I nod, still not wanting him to leave but not being able to ignore the way my whole body now feels lighter than before, when I was carrying around my love for Sean but never letting him have any of it.
“Ok, I love you, be safe.” I sigh and his face splits again, bright smile almost blinding me.
He blows out a sharp breath. “I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that,” he leaves a kiss on my temple. “I love you too by the way, incase you were unsure about that.” I press my lips together to stop my laugh as he turns to walk away.
“Don’t finger yourself too much whilst I”m gone.” He warns as he reaches the staircase that will take him away from me for a month.
“Oh, I will.” I say, wiggling my eyebrows and electing another deep laugh from Sean.
He shakes his curls, looking at me once more. “I know you will, at least film it and send it to me so I have some good jerk off material.” I flash him a wink and he leaves, his panty dropping grin and his godlike body disappearing down the stairwell as the pit in my stomach widens a little now he’s gone.