9. Extra Pickles Please
Chapter 9
Extra Pickles Please
Tatum || 15 weeks pregnant, September
“H ey, how was the gym?” Darcy asks as I walk into the living room, her frizzy hair and droopy eyes implying she may have just woken up from a nap.
“Same old, same old. I’m going to grab a shower then we can tackle dinner?”
“That sounds great. I just took a quick nap, and haven’t had lunch today.” She grimaces, knowing I’m going to give her a hard time for not having eaten anything.
“Have you eaten at all today?”
“I had breakfast and some crackers here and there. Work was super busy, by the time I wrapped up all I wanted to do was sleep.”
“Mama, you gotta eat. For you and the blob.”
“I know. I need to be more intentional about eating.” She sighs.
“Okay so whatcha want for dinner?”
“Hmmm, a burger and fries!”
“Sounds good to me. No onions right? Anything else?”
“Extra pickles please.” After placing a delivery order, I head towards my room to grab my shower, while she disappears into her room.
“Knock, knock,” I announce, entering her room twenty-five minutes later.
“Come in.” She doesn’t turn away, keeping focused on her computer.
“What are you doing over there?”
“Fleshing out the book plot I have in mind, just seeing if it’s something I’m still inspired to write.”
“Wanna tell me about it?” She slams her laptop shut with a definitive shake of her head. I take that as my cue to change the topic. “So you know the season is about to start up again right?”
“Yep, Kodi won’t let me forget that Maverick will be leaving her all the time,” she starts, with a roll of her eyes, “and I keep reminding her that I will have my child all by myself so she has it good.”
“Hey, I will do whatever it takes to make it here when it’s time. You can lean on me, you know that right?” I pack as much seriousness into my tone as I can, because there’s no way I am missing the birth of our child.
“Um yeah, I guess I do now.” She’s twiddling her thumbs and won’t look me in the eyes and of course, the bell rings to let our food delivery into the building.
“Be right back.” I quickly gather the food, tipping the driver a little extra, and then head straight back to Darcy’s room. We spread our food out on her bed before digging in, but she just picks at her burger, not eating, “Darcy what’s going on? Is there something wrong with your food?”
“How often are you going to be gone?” She asks, catching me off guard. “What if there’s an emergency?” She keeps her vision trained on her food, unwilling to look me in the eyes.
“Mama, look at me when I say these next words, and pay attention very carefully.” Her gaze hesitantly lifts to meet mine. ”While it's true that I’m going to be a lot busier managing the circus we call a professional hockey team during the season, and, yes, I will be going on some of their away game trips. However, I’m not needed at every single game, and if anything is to happen with you, I’m on the first flight out of whatever city I’m in to make it here to support you. If I can’t get a flight, I’ll get a car and I’ll be here. Kind of like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, but with the competence of a professional who handles the travel plans of NHL players.” My emphasis is heavy on making it back to Darcy, showing her that I am putting her and our baby first, above all else. I feel like I’m in uncharted territory because I never imagined I would want to care for someone in this way. I’m helpless to control the curiosity I have for the little changes in our baby day after day, and watching Darcy’s stomach grow with our child—which has only sped up over the last couple of weeks.
“I’m scared, Tate,” Darcy confesses with a sniffle, her beautiful browns brimming with liquid emotion. A single tear escapes down her cheek and I instinctively reach out, softly swiping it away with my thumb.
“I am too, D. We may feel a little in over our heads here but I know that as long as we have each other's backs, we’ll be okay. So will the little one.”
I lean back against her headboard with open arms, beckoning her to my side. Making her way around the bed, Darcy positions herself beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. Her body shakes as her emotional dam lets loose, her tears threatening to drown the whole world. I hold her to me, wanting nothing but to be the safe space she needs to let her emotions out. Eventually, her breathing evens out, and she finishes with a final, cathartic, heavy breath.
“I should probably eat now. You’re right about us having each other's backs, but every day I feel like a new fear pops up and it can overwhelm me. Like, I was thinking today, what if I sneeze too hard and rupture my amniotic sac, causing me to go into preterm labor? So of course I called Sin in tears. She said that if I leak when I sneeze, it’s probably just pee.” She shrugs, laughing at herself, and moves to grab her burger before leaning back into my arms. I don’t typically do nonsexual intimacy, but with Darcy, moments like these make me question why I never cared to—something about her defies everyone who came before, and I realize that I want this. I want her.
“It’s healthy to be scared by all these changes. We don’t have the slightest clue what to expect throughout the next six months. Except that, in the end, we get a sweet little blob to bring home and love on for the rest of our lives.” I chuckle.
“Thanks, Tate. I feel better after airing out some of my fears.” She yawns. “I think I’m going to shower and hit the hay.”
“I think that’s a good idea. Don’t be afraid to talk to me, Darcy. Please.” I meander to my room, flopping back onto my bed with the fresh realization that I'm in deeper with her than I thought. I text Maverick, needing someone to help me unpack the conflict swirling in my head.
Me
Dude. I think I have feelings for Darcy.
Maverick
No duh dipshit. Nice of you to finally admit it.
Me
Not helpful man.
Maverick
It doesn’t have to be this hard dude, ask her out.
Me
This coming from the man who fought his feelings for his wife for months before she had to force his hand.
Maverick
And look at me now, a whole ass husband.
What’s stopping you?
Me
I’m scared I’ll hurt her, man. I don’t do romantic relationships, I haven’t in a really long time.
Maverick
She could be the one to change that. Do you really want to pass that up?
Me
BUT if I hurt her… I lose them both.
My fears and doubts crash into me again, relentlessly.
Maverick
Kodi says, “Don’t forget that I will castrate you if you hurt them.” But she also says to let it happen naturally because if it’s meant to be, it will work out okay.
Me
YOU TOLD HER AGAIN MAN? SERIOUSLY?!?
Maverick
Husband/wife privilege. What do you expect when you text me at night—the woman literally sleeps on my chest. She’s privy to anything that might be on my phone. Good luck… Speaking of my wife, I have to go take care of something.
Me
TMI dude. Goodnight.