11. No Questions, Comments, Concerns
Chapter 11
No Questions, Comments, Concerns
Darcy || 16 weeks pregnant, October
T he smell of chlorine swirls with burning charcoal as we walk into Kodi and Maverick's backyard, carrying the cupcakes we were asked to pick up. It’s Stu, Mav’s father, sixtieth birthday today so everyone is here to celebrate. While I want to spend time with my friends and pseudo-parents, I’m feeling grumpy. I hate the way my black one-piece is sitting on my body. Tatum, on the other hand, is wearing a tank top that shows off his tattooed bicep and a pair of slutty little swim shorts—their five-inch inseam doesn’t leave much to the imagination.
Tatum stops me short of rounding the corner of the home before anyone sees us. “You alright?”
“Yes.” Clearly tuned into the fact that I’m not alright, he says nothing in response but raises a golden eyebrow. “Fine. I just feel cranky today. My mom has called like three times today, and I don’t like the way this bathing suit feels.”
His eyes roam over my body. I’ve got shorts on and an oversized shirt in my bag for later. Although I’m mostly covered, the way he’s taking me in has my heart doing cannonballs inside my rib cage.
“I think your bump is adorable. You don’t owe your mom anything but you should call her back if you’re worried.”
“Ugh, I don’t know if I want to.”
“As far as the grumpiness, anything I can do?”
“Get me a snack, and don’t let Dom splash me. And, thank you.”
“Done and done. Let’s do this.” In a move I wasn’t expecting he grabs my hand and leads me around the corner. I can’t tell if everyone’s eyes actually turn towards us only to get stuck on our interlocked hands, or if maybe it just feels that way. I immediately remove mine from his, smiling sheepishly. A dismayed look passes over Tatum's face, barely noticeable as he turns to grab the snacks he promised me.
Kodi, Sin, and Harley sit on the pool ledge, drinks in hand and feet in the water watching Collins, Dom, and Bella swim back and forth together. Bella’s bright pink floaties and Collins' watchful eye keeping her above water. Maverick and Nik, as always man the grill while Victoria, Dale, and Jason sit around a large plastic table set up under a white canopy tent. Grace exits the house with Stu, heading towards the pool.
“Happy birthday!” I holler at Stu, Mav’s father, as he steps down the patio, he makes his way towards me pulling me into his arms.
“Darcy, do you remember my daughter Grace and her husband, Jason, from the wedding?” Asks Stu.
“Yes, hi. Good to see you again.” They give me cordial smiles before returning to their trek to the pool. I head over to the picnic table, my last stop before I plop down beside my girls on the pool ledge.
“Hi, Momma.” I beam at Victoria, Kodi’s mom, who treats me as her adopted daughter. When we were younger she always gave me a safe space to get away from my overbearing parents. Victoria always felt like the kind of parent I longed for, someone who listened and understood my dreams—just as she does for Kodi.
“Oh, sweet girl. Look at you!” She’s up and around the table before I’ve made it three steps. Her gentle hands grasping my shoulders, she coos, “Are you feeling better? Kodi said you were having a hard time the first few weeks.”
“Much, thank you for asking.” I lean in, “Introduce me to your new man.” She blushes but guides me over to Dale who stands with an outstretched hand.
“Mom, can we have our bestie now?” Kodi turns over her shoulder, teasing her Mom.
“I suppose you can. I was just catching up with my other daughter.” Victoria rolls her eyes but shoos me away, taking her seat back by Dale, her return welcomed with a possessive arm around her.
“Hi, my loves.” I wiggle my fingers towards my friends as I take a seat, leaning my head into Sin beside me.
I’m hardly sitting for a moment before a water bottle and plate full of veggies, fruits, what looks to be a ranch, and a caramel dip appear in front of my face. “Your snack madam. Dominic has been warned about splashing purposefully.”
“Thank you.” I turn my head up to Tatum, smiling at him. A gleam of sweat on his brow, black sunglasses covering his eyes, a smirk firmly planted on his face.
Sin watches Tate walk away before whisper-shouting, “Holy fuck that man is hot. I see why you let him knock you up.”
“I didn’t let him. It was an accident.” I gently jab her in the stomach with my elbow. “He is hot though, isn’t he?” This causes all of us to giggle.
“I have to head out soon.” Harley sighs dejectedly. I don’t know what has gotten under her skin, but she seems to be withdrawn. She shows up, but lately she isn’t actively in conversation and she always leaves early.
“What? Why?” Kodi whines. I munch on a carrot stick watching this conversation take place.
“I have to study, then meet up with Benji.”
“He could’ve joined us, you know.” I can see Sin’s eye roll from out of the corner of mine.
“Yeah, well, he isn't here, is he? He had plans, but still wanted to see me at some point.” Harley snaps. Down wind of Harley’s slightly raised tone, Collins' head whips around from where he floats on the other end of the pool. Why would she waste time with butthead Benji, when Collins is so very clearly ready to give her his full attention? I will never understand.
“Jesus, Harls, sorry.” Sin sounds defeated, making me question how many times she’s had to deal with this temper.
“You know what? I think I’m going to head out now.” Harley stands abruptly and—just as fast—Collins is out of the pool telling Dom to watch Bella and following her out of the yard just as fast. Their muffled shouts can be heard, not enough to make out any words, but their tone couldn’t be more clear.
“Well, that sucked.” Kodi rubs her temples, “I hope Harls is okay.”
“Yeah, same here,” I sigh, truly worried about a member of my tight knit inner-circle. Collins returns ten minutes later but joins the guys at the grill.
“Want to hear some hot team gossip?” Kodi almost-whispers, as if she is afraid someone will hear her telling us news we aren’t supposed to know yet.
“Yes!” We all squeal in her direction.
“Conrad Hoyer got traded to the Manta Rays,” she discloses, seemingly unphased by the news.
“No way! How is Maverick feeling about that?” I gasp. Why is she so cool with it?
“How are you feeling about it?” Sin chimes in.
“I mean, Mav doesn’t care. I’m his wife, after all. He’s a team player, so he’s not going to do anything less than try to make him feel welcome. I guess Conrad’s attitude is making it all a little difficult, though. And, I don’t care, as long as he doesn’t act like a douchecanoe again, I’ll play nice.” She smiles sweetly but I know beneath that smile she’s not joking—she will play nice until she’s given a reason not to.
I hum in response, thinking about what our little group would look like if Conrad became part of it and then shaking it off because that doesn’t sound ideal.
“Food’s ready!” Nik hollers. Sinclair helps me stand, worried that I can’t lift myself off the ground and presuming it’s better I have her assistance—much to my ire.
Chatter, water splashing, and singing Happy Birthday are the soundtrack of the rest of the afternoon. By the time Tatum and I return to the condo, my body feels heavy, my head hurts, and I know that I need to rest. Tatum can tell, too, asking if he can get me anything. I turn him down, taking my giant water jug to my bed with me.
* * *
I thought I had finally seen the other side of my pregnancy nausea era, but I was wrong. This past week has been miserable, I’m peeling myself out of bed just to sit at my desk and toil away in a monotonous job. I run to the bathroom almost every time I eat and find small tasks like doing my dishes or laundry to be over-exhausting. If I’m not working, I’m laying in my bed or on the couch doing nothing. I find myself thinking back to Tatum’s offer to pay my bills while I focus on nurturing the blob and writing my debut novel. Something is holding me back, my fear of relying on someone else and losing my independence again just like with my parents, maybe?
Deciding that asking for Harley’s opinion could be good practice for her , I call my friend.
“Hey, D, what’s up?” A door slams in the background causing me to flinch.
“What was that, Harls?” Concern is at the forefront of my mind because I know Sin wouldn’t be slamming doors in the apartment they share. Between her weird behavior at Stu’s birthday, and now this, I’m growing more concerned.
“Oh nothing, just Benji leaving for work.” Harley is always quiet but usually when she speaks, there’s some inflection in her voice. Right now, there is none.
She’s lying.
“You know you can talk to me, right?” I pry, aware that I can’t push too hard or she’ll shut me out.
“Yeah Darcy, everything is fine. We are fine. Leave it alone. Did you need something?” She is rarely this short with anyone.
“I need you to therapize me.” Reading her hostility, loud and clear, I change topics to keep her talking to me. If I had the energy, I would be pacing back and forth in my room right now.
“Okay, well, tell me what’s going on.” She laughs, but it’s strained.
“Hey, you aren’t supposed to laugh at your clients.”
“You aren’t my client, you are my friend taking advantage of my education in this field.”
“Fine. You can’t see me but I just rolled my eyes at you. A few weeks back, Tatum was about to offer me money for my bills so that I could focus on writing and resting. Well, I cut him off. I will not rely on him for that. It feels too much like I’m back in my parents' grasp, someone else having control over my money and my life.”
“But you said he was going to give you the money, right, not pay the bills directly?”
“Yeah…” I already know where she is going with this and I am starting to regret my decision to call her.
“So who has control of the money if he’s giving it directly to you?”
“Ugh, me…”
“Right. So, what else is holding you back?” She prods, and I take a moment to think about it.
“I think… relying on him makes this feel more like a relationship…but it’s not one. However, I can’t help myself from wanting it to be one…”
“Why does relying on him make it feel like a relationship?”
“Because you just don’t rely on a platonic friend to give you money and let you stay home and chase your dreams while caring for the child you created together,” I huff.
“It sounds like someone is offering to do something nice for you, and you are too scared to admit your feelings for him.” Harley sees right through me, and I hate it.
“God dammit Harley. You’re going to be a great fucking therapist soon.”
“I know.” I can almost see her cheeky little grin through the phone.
We stay on the phone for another thirty minutes talking in circles, until Harley gives up and chirps, “If this is what you want D, then just go for it.”
“Okay, I’ll talk to him. Love you, Harls. Call if you need to talk.”
“I will, D. Love you too.” The call ends and I gear myself up to accept Tatum’s very gracious offer, but not before texting Sin and Ko about what just happened with Harley.
Me
I’m worried about Harls. She just snapped at me over the phone.
Sin
She hasn’t been home for more than a day or two in weeks.
Kodi
It’s Benji, it has to be.
Me
What do we do?
Sin
Keep an eye on her, prepare the pitchforks, and show up at his apartment if she stops responding altogether. She’s at least talking to us still. I don’t know but I want my Harls back.
Kodi
Me too.
Me
Me three.
* * *
I’m sitting on the condo balcony reading a very spicy monster romance, when the glass door slides open behind me. I quickly lock my Kindle, because how the heck would I tell the father of my child that dragons dominating human women gets my rocks off? Hell no. Not right now at least.
“Welcome home.” I try to school my expression. Tatum just happened to walk in on a very intense scene that is soon to be included in my ‘book scenes that live rent-free in my head’ note on my phone. “How was work?”
“Dominic was supposed to do an ad with the local shelter, but he’s refusing to step into the shelter because, and I quote, ‘I cannot end up with a dog in my house. This is a recipe for me to end up with one.’ So, then Collins stepped in, and he got suckered into bringing home a mouthy white kitten, with the brightest green eyes. He named her Precious. Somehow it’s my fault when we were just doing a partnership where if people brought in their adoption certificate then they would get a free drink at the arena to help clear the shelter,” he explains, taking a seat on the black loveseat beside me.
“Oh, and I called around and found a place that we can drop the gender results off to and they can have a cake ready in twenty-four hours.” He tacks on.
“Yay, I’m so excited. Sounds like quite the day.” I chuckle, “Dom would have left with like three dogs if he did that ad. Didn’t think Collins was a cat guy, but it makes sense.”
“Yeah, I guess he’s always wanted one, and this was just an excuse for him to take the leap. How was your day?”
“Honestly… exhausting, and would you believe I had a really weird conversation with Harley? But, that’s neither here nor there.”
We sit in peaceful silence watching the city pass us by for a bit. I twiddle my thumbs staring out over the river, cars beeping, people giggling as they walk by the water, the bright lights casting a warm glow on the dim streets below. I spend the time readying myself to spit out my appreciation for Tate’s offer and that I’d like to take him up on it.
I have this horrible trait of just ripping the bandaid off when it comes to Tatum, rather than attempting to sugarcoat a conversation with him. Eventually, the anxiety spills out, and I blurt, “ I have decided to graciously accept the good sir’s offer of patronage. ” Pulling out the debutante's voice is just the icing on top of the cake.
“ Tally-ho, fair maiden, we must begin making arrangements immediately ,” Tatum chokes out, struggling to contain his infectious laugh. He clears his throat before adding, “Are you serious?”
“Um…” I start, clearing my throat in return, “Yes, I would like to use the time to work on my debut novel and to prepare for and nurture the baby.”
“Okay.”
“That’s all? No other questions, comments, concerns...”
“Nope. I left the offer on the table and I still want to help. We agreed the money will go to you, for you to do with what you will.. Once it’s in your hands, it’s out of mine and I don’t need—or want—to know where it’s going. It’s none of my business.”
I struggle to wrap my head around what his reason for doing this is. “Sorry, it’s just... With my Dad, money was a big way he tried to hold control over my life. So I think I prepared myself to give you every single detail.” I exhale a deep breath, reining my thoughts in. “Thank you, Tate. It means so much that you are willing to do this.”
He smiles softly at me now, his right dimple more prominent than his left. His hazel green eyes sparkling in the dim city lights. I find myself drawing into him, scooting closer and wrapping my arms around him. My head rests gently against his shoulder as he wraps his dress shirt-clad arm around me.
“I’ll do anything for you, Darcy.”
It’s barely a murmur, but I heard it loud and clear. Not only does my heart react to his quiet pledge, its beat hastening, but for some unholy reason my pussy decides it’s the perfect time to start its own palpitations. I need to get the heck out of here before I do something stupid—like pounce on him right here on this far too public balcony.
“You don’t mean that.” I try to laugh it off, but he isn’t laughing with me, killing mine as quickly as it bubbled out of me. Deciding there has never been a better time for a quick escape, I pull myself from his grasp and stand awkwardly. Unable to contain myself, I circle back to my debutante accent. “ Good heavens I think ‘tis past my bedtime. Thanks again, Tate.”
“Goodnight, Mama.” Clearly able to tell that I'm beyond flustered he winks at me, and I hightail it to the privacy of my bedroom.
After a very quick and very cold shower that I desperately hoped would take the edge off, I lie in bed for what feels like hours. I can’t get comfortable, moving restlessly from side to side. Staring wide-eyed at my ceiling, failing to escape into my monster romance, attempting to orchestrate my debut—my brain refuses to cooperate and all I can think about is Tatum fucking Reed . His piercing eyes, the way he calls me Mama, the feeling of his veiny, circumcised cock sliding in and out of me. It’s all escalated so quickly and now my nipples are hard and I’m rubbing my thighs together eager to ease some of the tension.
Fuck it. No one is going to know unless I tell them. How could they know? I reach into my nightstand, pulling out a small, black clit stimulator before doing away with my shorts and spreading my legs. I drift my fingers along my body, pausing to pinch and pull at my tender nipples, before introducing them to my arousal.
“Jesus Christ, what is this man doing to me?” I whisper breathlessly to absolutely no one. I turn the vibrator on its middle setting, my carefully perfected amount of stimulation. With a soft and steady touch, I center my favorite toy onto my bundle of nerves, hissing at the feeling briefly before settling into it. I let my eyes drift close and replay the night of Kodi and Maverick’s wedding. I’m trying to be quiet but helpless to stop the small whimpers and moans that escape my lips as I make myself cum to my fantasy of more pleasure-filled nights with Tatum.