20. There’s That Fucking Panic Again.
Chapter 20
There’s That Fucking Panic Again.
Tatum || 25 weeks pregnant, November
“O h my god, this apple pie is the best thing that I’ve ever put in my mouth.” Darcy moans around her fork as we sit at my parents for Thanksgiving lunch.
“That’s because you haven’t had something else in your mouth yet Mama,” I whisper in her ear, across the table from my bickering sisters. She chokes on her bite, scrambling to gulp water down, and her face turns beet red.
“Tatum you can’t say things like that!” She slaps my arm lightly.
“I’m twenty-nine years old, I can say whatever I want.” I give her a mischievous grin.
“Do you guys have time for a game of Trouble?” Tinsley asks from her seat, hope blooming behind her eyes and I check my watch before nodding at them. Darcy and I have Friendsgiving after this, but there’s enough room for a game.
We all migrate to the living space, Tinsley has always played blue, Tessa red, I usually play green, and then mom or dad would play yellow but today Darcy will play the yellow piece.
“Tin, Tess, come here quick.” Darcy demands of my sisters, they scramble over the table almost taking the Trouble board off the table, hands outstretched in front of them. My heart warms at the nicknames she’s given them over time. “Right here.” She takes their hands, slightly overlapping them and pressing gently on the left side of her stomach.
“Holy fuck,” Tessa blurts, loud enough for Mom to admonish her from the kitchen.
“Language, Tessa Diane Reed!” Mom calls, a clear warning laced in her tone.
“Omg, this is so cool!” Tinsley squeals, “Does he do that all the time?”
“No,” Darcy chuckles, “usually just if he’s had yummy food or when I am trying to sleep.”
“That’s annoying, I need my sleep,” Tessa responds curtly.
“So what do you do when you can’t sleep?” Tinsley asks.
“I’ll write, read, or doom scroll on my phone while listening to your brother snore.” Darcy smiles, her cheeks pinkening. In reality, if she can’t sleep, she keeps me up all night with her hand wrapped around my cock or my face buried between her legs. Most of those nights end with me buried deep inside of her pussy, while she lays comfortably on her back, fucking her until she’s sated enough to sleep.
“Tatum has always been a snorer,” Tinsley says behind a laugh.
“Girls stop picking on your brother.” Dad hollers from the kitchen, always quick to have my back. Growing up in this house, we’ve been outnumbered for long enough to learn we only have each other. Now Darcy is added to the picture, leaving us even more outnumbered.
The twins glare at me, and I shrug off their anger with a smug grin, earning me an elbow in the side from Darcy.
“Hey, what did I do?” I grimace rubbing at my abdomen.
“I saw that face,” Darcy states curtly and I roll my eyes at her.
“I would love for all my children to get along for the rest of the afternoon.” My mom admonishes, walking into the room. Dad, hands full of tea mugs joins her to sit on the couch behind the twins, watching us play just like they would do when we were younger.
Their love for each other radiates from all around us. It’s in the little things, like the way my dad wraps an arm around mom, still after so many years of marriage, the small smile my mom wears as she watches us, the smell of pie lingering in the air while plates holding only crumbs rest on the coffee table, and the layers of memories that my childhood home holds.
* * *
Darcy snores softly beside me, her hand resting on her lap, wrapped in mine, as I make the drive back into town and towards our best friend's home for Friendsgiving. Soft, contemporary pop music flows through the speakers of the Porsche. Before Darcy, I would listen to dad rock but I’m finding that this music calms me in a way I’ve never experienced—or maybe it’s Darcy’s presence. Either way, this music is quickly becoming the new soundtrack of my life.
I park on the road in front of the house, unbuckling myself, then Darcy. “Hey Mama, we made it to Kodi’s.” I lean in, speaking softly so as not to startle her. She doesn’t stir, so I try again. “Darcy, baby, we gotta get inside, everyone is excited to see you.”
She moves a little more and I place my lips on hers gently, “Mama, come on. The sooner we get inside, the sooner you can be home and in your pajamas… Well, I guess technically mine.”
That is the statement that gets her eyes opening, looking around briefly before gracing me with a smile and kissing me.
“I have to pee,” she informs, then she’s out of the car and knocking on the front door faster than I can grab the green bean casserole we were charged with bringing tonight out of the back seat.
“What’s up, man? How was dinner with your parents? How are they doing, and the girls?” Maverick asks, pulling me in for a hug as I enter his home.
“It was nice, she fits in so well with my family. Like she was meant to be there all along,” I say quietly as we walk towards the kitchen.
“Maybe she is.”
He says it so casually that it feels almost patronizing. I flash back to where Darcy and I were about six months ago and panic flurries in my chest. In less than three months, I’m going to be a dad.
Will I measure up to the father I grew up with? Or will I fail my son?
“I need to use the restroom, long drive.” I abruptly leave Maverick standing in the entryway to the kitchen, his brows furrowed. I make my way down the hall in a hurry. As I reach for the bathroom door, it swings open, and Darcy pops out looking refreshed from her nap in the car.
“Hi.” She says quietly, smiling up at me.
“Hi, Mama.” I can hear the strain in my voice, I just need a moment alone to pull myself together.
“Are you alright?” Her beautiful face scrunched up, concern evident in her tone.
“Uh yeah…” I pause, “Just need to use the restroom urgently if you’ll excuse me. I’ll be out in a moment.”
“Yeah… Yeah okay.” She still seems confused by my behavior but steps out of the doorway.
“D?” I call, stopping her. I pull her into a hug and kiss the top of her head. She relaxes instantly. After a moment, I release her and she’s heading off, down the hallway.
I give myself two minutes in the restroom to pull my shit together and plaster a smile on my face before joining my friends at the dining table. Sitting down beside Darcy, she instantly places a warm hand on my thigh, squeezing it tightly.
“Sorry guys,” I tell them, I know they’ve been waiting on me.
Familiar eyes sit around the table but then I meet three pairs I’ve only met in passing. Conrad Hoyer, recently transferred to the Manta Rays, sits alongside his girlfriend, Enid, and her younger brother Mace. Mace smiles fondly at Bella as she animatedly tells a story about Shell Shock’d (the rescue Enid works at) and a turtle named Bart.
“Okay.” Kodi claps her hands excitedly, “Before we eat let's all go around the table and say something we are grateful for. I’ll go first, I’m thankful to have married such a wonderful and loving man.” Kodi smiles lovingly at Maverick who pulls her in for a passionate kiss, which, in my opinion, goes on a little longer than necessary.
“What about Bella?” Bella accosts from Kodi’s other side, a finger aggressively wagging in the direction of her Mama.
“Bella, baby, I am so grateful I get to be your Mama every day.” Kodi smiles at her, pulling her into her lap as we continue around the table.
“I glad that I get to have pie for dinner.” Bella giggles from Kodi’s lap.
“With dinner,” Maverick corrects with a chuckle. “I’m grateful that my Dad, Grace, and Jason are here, with us, for Thanksgiving this year.”
“I’m so happy to be here with my kids, all of them,” Stu says, giving us each a smile that has my throat clogged, and I’m not the only one. All of the girls are dabbing their eyes, overcome by Stu’s sentiment.
“Jason and I are so grateful that we get to share with you all in person that we will be moving to Florida in December! We closed on our house yesterday afternoon!” Grace’s face lights up at her announcement.
“Oh my God yay!!!” Kodi, Darcy, Sin, and Harley scream together.
“Okay, Dom, your turn!” Grace directs.
“I’m thankful for another Thanksgiving where our little family continues to get bigger.” He says, Dom may be a big goof but he has a heart to match it.
“You have a surprisingly big heart.” Sin says to him, from where she’s sandwiched between him and Harley.
“You know what else is big?” Dom waggles his eyebrows at her.
“Do not finish that sentence with your niece and my Father at this table, Dominic.” Maverick’s voice is tight from where he sits causing Dom to wave his hands in a placating manner.
“Well, I am glad I didn’t have to work this year and got to spend it with you guys,” Sin butts in, taking the spotlight off of Dom—a quick expression of awe passes over his face, like he wasn’t expecting her to help him.
“I’m grateful to be graduated and officially an LMHC. Now to do all the supervision hours…” Harley adds quietly.
“You’ve got this Harls.” Collins reassures her before adding, “I’m grateful that we are all healthy and for Precious, my sweet little kitty.”
“I’m grateful to play another year with you guys,” Nik says. He's getting older and will soon have to retire on his own—or the NHL will decide it for him. Nik gestures to Conrad without saying a word cueing him to speak.
“I just want to say thank you for allowing me a second chance and us to celebrate the holidays with you all.” The confidence that I expect from Conrad, dulled.
“Yes, thank you. Mace and I needed a community and you guys have provided it for us.” Enid smiles, squeezing his hand atop the table.
“I’m grateful for mashed potatoes and apple pie.” Mace, the little smart ass adds, “Your turn, Tatum.”
“I’m thankful that Darcy and I have such an amazing support system as we get closer to welcoming our little guy. We can’t thank you all enough for everything that you’ve done.” I tell the table and feel D’s hand squeezing my thigh again, followed quickly by a kiss on my cheek. A gaggle of oohs and awes ripple out from our friends and family.
“I’m thankful that I have found such a wonderful partner in Tatum throughout my pregnancy. His immense support has gotten me through the hard days and I am so grateful for that.” She chokes out, “And the rest of you, you’ve been great too.”
“Anything for you, Mama,” I say, driving my point home with a lingering kiss on her lips. She looks at me, eyes wide because I just kissed her in front of our friends. Those big, brown orbs swimming with hope, anticipation, and expectation. There’s that fucking panic again.