Chapter 13
Jasmine
The next day
When my brother dropped me off at my mama’s house, my sisters, Laporsha and Vanessa, were sitting in the living room, on the couch, watching reruns of The House of Payne.
When I came through the door, it slammed behind me, and everyone faced towards me before turning back to the television.
“Uh, hey everybody.” I walked over a toy that one of their kids had lying in the middle of the floor.
I could hear that they were in my mother’s guest room, causing hell back there, leaving a mess for her or even me to have to clean up later.
My sisters loved to come over here and relax as if their kids weren’t their kids.
My mama’s disability didn’t stop them from thinking she was their personal nanny on visits.
I may not do all I could do to help out our mother, but I try.
Even Crew criticizes me, and yet I’m the only one living here with her, watching out for her when they are in the comfort of their own homes.
“Rj?” My mother spoke up as soon as she heard me come through the door.
“No, he’s not with me, Mama.”
“He still won’t let you get my nephew?” Laporsha asked. My mama obviously told her what was going on after I updated her on everything this morning.
“I haven’t even reached out to him again because I know where it will lead.”
“Mm, girl, it couldn’t be me,” Vanessa said under her breath.
She had a habit of mumbling slick comments like she wanted the smoke but didn’t want to claim the fire.
Vannessa was the oldest and treated all of us like kids, which was funny, because she had the most children, the least money, and always needed to borrow something before the end of the month.
Vanessa could’ve been a fuckin doctor right now, because she was one of the smartest people in her class before she got pregnant and dropped out of school.
Back then, I was jealous of her because she didn’t have to go to school, but now, I’m seeing that school is way easier than being a full-time mother. The bell never actually rings on that.
“He is going to bring him back soon. Reggie is not the stand-up guy he pretends to be. And what you mean couldn’t be you, like your baby daddy ain’t stupid too, Vanessa.” I plopped down on the couch next to my mama.
Vanessa smacked her lips.
“He may be stupid, but he is not dumb enough to take my baby and say he is not bringing him back. He bold for that shit, and you bold for letting him do that.”
My head snapped toward her. “Nah, you bold for coming at me about my son when your shit smells like shit.”
“I know it does,” she shot back, folding her arms, “but that doesn’t stop me from being a mother. You so busy up under Crew and his rich friends, you don’t even care that nigga hijacked your baby.”
“Crew and his rich friends?” I leaned forward. “Girl, please. Don’t you dare tell me shit about my life. You are a professional baby mama.”
“And you are a professional hoe.”
“Enough!” Mama’s voice cracked through the room just as I pushed myself halfway off the couch, ready to swing. I hadn’t even been in here for five minutes, and this bitch already had my blood fuckin boiling about my son.
“You two are taking things too far, and I refuse to listen to it.”
“Ma, tell this bitch to stay out of my business,” I snapped, pointing at Vanessa. “She got some nerve telling me about my son.”
“Jassy, I understand. Just calm down.”
“Mama, you don’t have to keep babying her,” Vanessa cut in. “That’s all you and Crew do. I’m telling her the truth. She's letting her son go too easily, almost like she's happy he's gone.”
That did it.
I shot up off the couch, fists balled so tight my nails dug into my palms. “Bitch, say something else.”
“Jasmine, sit down!” Mama warned.
Vanessa stood too, slow and deliberate, until we were chest to chest. “What you gonna do, bitch? I wish you would hit me.”
“I’ll drag your ass.”
“Drag your ass to the clinic, hoe. Fucking all these niggas and think you're better than somebody.”
My vision blurred. Tears spilled down my face, hot and fast. “Who am I fucking? My boyfriend just died!”
“And I’m sure your ass done fucked somebody since then. Tell me I’m lying!”
“Girls, stop!” Mama shouted, clapping her hands. “Laporsha! Get your sisters!”
“Nah, Mama, I ain’t getting in that. Let them handle it how they see fit.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“Porsha, you're not getting in it because you're always on Vanessa's side,” I snapped. “I know you feel the same way about me, too. I know you bitches don’t do shit but run your mouths about me when I’m not around.”
“Don’t start with me, Jasmine,” she said, holding her hands up. “I ain’t say shit to you today.”
“Not today, but I know y’all been talking about me all my life. Jealous because of how I look.”
“Yeah, you're pretty,” Vanessa muttered.
“But you done fucked more niggas than the New York judicial system.”
Laporsha burst out laughing, doubling over like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.
Something in me snapped clean in half.
“Fuck both of you bitches! I hope you bitches die!”
I wiped my face, chest heaving, and stormed toward the hallway before I really did something I couldn’t take back. The sound of their voices kept going behind me, but I didn’t stop. If I stayed another second, I was going to hurt my own sister because a part of me already wanted to.
Ironically, I grabbed one of my spend the night hoe bags from the closet and packed some panties, clothes, and shoes so that I could get the fuck away from here.
Them always being over my mama’s house is why I go to Crew’s house so much in the first place.
Yes, I love my sisters, and yes, we get along most of the time, but what I hated about them was their ability to make me feel low.
It was funny when we were doing it to random bitches on the block, but when that pressure was turned on me, I never could handle it.
When I stormed back through the living room, they were back sitting down on the couch like nothing had happened.
“I’ll be back tomorrow, Mama.”
“Where are you going, Jas?"
“I don’t know! Away from here.” I replied, stepping outside the door.
My mama probably wanted to follow me, but I know they made her feel bad about treating me as a mother should.
That was another reason they were jealous of me and Crew, and it was always evident.
They’ve even given my mother shit about her being too close to RJ, saying she won’t keep their kids as easily like their children didn’t act like they belong in the Bronx Zoo at times.
All this talk about my son only made me want to call him. After all, I know he knows how much his mother loves him. I wasn’t sure if Reggie would answer the phone, but I knew if I didn’t try to call, it would eat me up all night, especially after what that bitch Vanessa just said.
I dialed his number while standing on the curb with my bag hanging from my shoulder.
“Yeah, Jasmine,” Reggie answered the phone with a sharp, loud sawing sound in the back. That competing with the loud music playing from the boom box my neighbors had on the sidewalk made me have to press the phone up to my ear so hard the shit kind of hurt.
“Where is RJ? I want to talk to him.”
“He’s at my mama’s house. I’m at work.”
“If you had to work, then why didn’t you just bring him back home?”
“Because he is home, Jasmine. You didn’t hear what I said when I told you that I’m taking over. My son is not about to get killed because of you and your family’s bull shit. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to work.”
“You are giving me my son back nigga! You are not just getting away with this shit!”
“Take me to court. That’s all I have to say.” He hung up the phone, and I was so mad that I threw my phone down. It skipped a few feet away from me, and I was scared to bend down and pick it up knowing I had broken it.
I walked over and pick my phone up because walking up and down this street tonight without one wasn't part of my plans. I didn’t want to go back into the house, and going to Crew’s house would have put him in my business about Reggie, and I just wasn’t ready for him to crash out on him.
But who am I supposed to call? Most of the time, besides Mama, I feel like he’s truly all I have.
My thumb hovered over Crew’s name, and I sighed heavily because I didn’t want to call him. I thought there for a minute, tapping my foot, knowing I could go to Maleka’s, only I didn’t feel like riding the bus to get over there with all my stuff.
Amir, I wonder where he is.
I thought to myself, scrolling up to get to his name in my contacts.
The other night, after I fingered myself on top of him, I planned to avoid him at all costs because I had post-nut clarity for a minute.
I was embarrassed, but now I was too mad at my family to wallow in that shit.
I would rather be around him with my head down than see Vanessa or Porsha at all tonight.
I hit call on his number, and the line rang once, then again, before he finally picked up.
“Yeah.” His voice came through, raspy, almost like I’d woken him up.
I started pacing back and forth, nervous to say my first words. “Hey, Amir?”
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“Are you busy?”
“Depends. You good?”
I let out a small breath. “No.”
Silence stretched between us for a second, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. I could hear faint movement on his end, like he was already getting up.
“What’s going on?”
“I was just wondering if you could give me a ride to my friend’s house, so I don’t have to ride the bus.”
“Yeah, where are you at?”
“Outside my mama's house. If you can’t come, I understand, and I’ll have to suck it up and head to the bus stop.”
“Nah, you don’t have to do that, I got you. Stay there. I’m on my way.”
The line went dead.