Chapter 25 Wren
Wren
Wren reached out and twined his fingers with Teddy’s, giving them a soft squeeze as they stared at the ornate doors leading to Nexus.
“You know we don’t have to do this,” Wren told him.
Teddy shook his head, unstyled hair shifting over his forehead. He still looked tired—he wasn’t long out of recovery, but this couldn’t wait.
“I think we do. I think we both need to step inside this place to finally say goodbye to it. I just…”
“Tell me,” Wren asked.
Teddy took a deep breath before responding. “I’m not sure how I’m feeling. I’m not sure why I don’t hate this place more, but at the same time I’m resentful of it. I don’t know how I’ll respond to anything they ask us and I don’t want to be emotional instead of having a productive conversation.”
“Being emotional isn’t a bad thing,” Wren said, rubbing the soft material of his hoodie. “You kept it under wraps for so long, I feel like you’re allowed a bit of a meltdown.”
“Not a fan of those.” Teddy gave him a wry look.
Wren smiled from the confines of his teddy bear hoodie, nudging him with his shoulder. “I can’t believe I’m about to ask this, but…do you want me to do the talking?”
Teddy turned to look at him with wonder in his eyes. “You would do that?”
Wren actually had to roll his because this man just refused to learn. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
He looked back up at the imposing building in front of them and refused to feel cowed by it any longer.
“We’re a team,” Teddy said, and Wren glanced over. Teddy gave him a smile. “We’ll do it together. Side by side. No more sacrificing ourselves for each other.”
Wren smiled back. “No promises, but…I like that.”
Teddy laughed. “Me too.”
“Come on then, Teddy Bear. Let’s get this over with.”
They pushed through the doors and walked together, side by side but not touching, their footsteps echoing off the tiled floors as countless curious eyes followed them.
They reached Gwen’s office sooner than either of them felt ready for it, and with one final look into Teddy’s eyes, Wren knocked on the door.
Gwen was quick to answer, obviously having been informed of their arrival by the reception staff. She ushered them in and made small talk, Teddy taking the brunt of it as he sat stiffly in his seat. Gwen probably couldn’t tell, but Wren could.
“I appreciate you coming,” Gwen said at last, her severe countenance lightening to the motherly expression Wren assumed Fix often saw. “Both of you.”
Teddy’s hand wrapped around his own on the armrest of his chair, and Wren offered him a small smile, squeezing back.
“Yes, well,” he said to Gwen. “We were summoned.”
“We don’t summon people,” she said, trying to contain a smile that truly surprised him to see on her lips.
“Feels that way,” he said.
“Be that as it may, I am glad you came.” She turned her head. “I understand you’re not fully recovered?”
“I’m well enough to talk and I wouldn’t let him face this alone,” Teddy said, letting her know in so many words that they were united. They wouldn’t be getting one without the other anymore.
“That is brave considering what you endured in your time here,” she said.
Wren wanted to end her for bringing it up so casually.
He gave Teddy’s fingers another squeeze and he returned it much like Wren had just a moment ago. A silent acknowledgment.
“With all due respect, I don’t want to talk about it at the moment,” Teddy said, voice calm and gentle as it usually was, but Wren heard the steel in it.
“There is hardly any respect owed in here. I wish I could turn back time and have this institution not be something you have to face, but something you come back to with joy.”
Wren was surprised by her behavior. Her actions, the tone of her voice, the words she was using. It all felt too good to be true.
“I doubt that will happen,” Wren said.
She nodded in acknowledgment. “Yes, I fear you might be right there. However, the reason I called you is… Well, I was hoping we could talk and see if we can come up with some ideas to prevent this from happening again.”
Wren’s jaw nearly hit the floor.
“Ideas,” he repeated in disbelief, catching Teddy’s equally shocked expression before he replaced it with that benevolent neutrality.
“Yes.” She gave them a wry smile. “I have personally put all of our personnel on immediate leave until they can all undergo thorough background checks. Various cursebreakers will be brought in to help care for the children in the interim and we will be talking to the trainees as well, to see if anyone has been put through anything they shouldn’t have. ”
Wren listened, barely able to wrap his head around it all as she laid out documents in front of them outlining the plan she had for the instructors at Nexus, the care for the trainees, the changes Nexus would be making.
She had seemingly thought of everything and anything and put it all down in writing, allowing them to read it all and asking for their input.
She wrote their suggestions down. She noted the faults they found in the very institution she had been running for years. She took it all in stride.
“Wren, Teddy…” She also kept using their real names.
“I am serious about this. As hard as it might be for you to believe this, I am truly sorry for what you both have been through. I am sorry for not seeing it. I am sorry for not being someone you saw as trustworthy and safe. I am sorry for taking so long to believe you, and I am sorry for allowing you to be hurt again as adults. I will never forgive myself for it, but I am hoping, with time, that maybe you will be able to.”
Wren thought for a second. His mind was rushing to places he didn’t want to visit anymore. A child taken from his family before he even knew what a family was. A little boy desperately trying to find his place among others who were all doing the same thing, just more successfully than he was.
A teenager finally fitting well with someone. Just one special someone who made the world feel like it was worth giving a chance to. A teenager so painfully in love, so tied to the other person that he crumbled to dust when they were taken away.
An adult with something akin to family, yet still feeling adrift. Missing a vital piece of himself. Wondering if he’d ever feel whole again.
Was that something he could forgive?
He turned to look at Teddy and knew the look in his eyes matched Wren’s.
Teddy had always been quicker to forgive, eager to resolve issues and keep existing in peace. But this wasn’t a simple squabble between friends. They both knew that.
“I don’t think forgiveness is in the cards for us,” Wren said finally, knowing it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but needing to stay true to who he was and what he was feeling. “Nexus will never be anything more than a terrible memory for me.”
“Nexus gave me the one thing I care about the most,” Teddy said. “But it also took it away. I don’t know how to move past that right now.”
Gwen’s face fell, but she nodded. “I understand.”
“But I am willing to work with you,” Wren said, “to make sure nobody else ever has to go through this again.”
She brightened, sitting straighter and looking at him with hope in her eyes that he refused to let get under his skin.
She was still at fault. All of her mistakes were still written clearly in a file he had stored in his mind.
But Wren was adaptable, and he was goal oriented.
If working with her meant keeping kids safe while they were training to do the most dangerous job their society had, then he would do it.
“I am listening,” she said.
“You said your instructors are all on leave until they’re cleared to come back?”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“Who will be clearing them?” he asked. “Because it needs to be someone who knows the workings of Nexus so they can spot where the issues are and how to fix them. We can’t trust someone who has never been here to truly understand how this institution runs.”
“PUMA has a decent grasp on how we operate,” she offered and Teddy scoffed in perfect synchronicity with Wren.
“PUMA has their own issues to fix,” Teddy said. “They are too corrupt themselves to be trusted with this.”
“I understand there were some issues in the Arcstead branch,” Gwen said, pursing her lips. Wren sensed the anger there. “Believe me, they are being dealt with. The Worthinghams too. But I still have faith in our departments. Cyrus, for example. You trust him, don’t you?”
Wren gave the question serious thought.
“I do,” he said, surprising himself. His circle had grown, it seemed. Without him even noticing.
“Cyrus is one of the good ones,” Teddy allowed.
“But Cyrus has his hands full in Slatehollow, especially being partnered with Black. And I doubt he would appreciate us giving him even more to do,” Wren said.
“Then who would you suggest?”
Wren fell silent, thinking about who he trusted enough to keep the kids safe while also not dismantling the entire operation the way he would have given half the chance.
He knew he had no grounds to just ask for it to be shut down until they could fix everything.
He knew Hart was right when he said baby steps were always the best way to approach change.
He had a chance now to make a difference in a way that wouldn’t get the door shut in his face at the first uncomfortable thing he said. He had a chance to fix things while still letting the other side keep enough to not look like an enemy. Not that he cared, but…appearances mattered, apparently.
He looked at Teddy, silently communicating. Who did they trust to give both sides some of what they asked for without pandering?
Teddy smiled and the answer was clear.
“Fix,” he said finally. “He loves Nexus. He respects it and thinks of it as a home. But he also loves the kids here and he would do anything and everything to keep them safe. He would want to be a part of this.”